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Thread of Epic Wordiness

starfarerthetastarfarertheta Member Posts: 740 Arc User
in Ten Forward
I don't expect this to go very far but...

This thread exists for one purpose only: as a home for messages that are as wordy and incomprehensible as possible!
Include a "translation" that shows the same message condensed into as few words as possible so that your mastery of wordiness can be measured.
The first entry and example:
Success in a struggle against difficulties or an obstacle be equal to the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual!

Translation: Victory is life!


(Dictionary definitions can be helpful)
\ \ A Hearth for the Tree / /

Comments

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    jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,366 Arc User
    It is generally inadvisable to employ excess loquaciousness and verbiage in the event that a less circumlocutory phraseology would prove sufficient.

    Translation: Never use a big word when a small one will do.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
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    starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited May 2018
    We shall travel to the grand doorways to the inferno of fire and brimstone on a longer term route to the realm of angelic hosts that sing eternally. In the process we shall penetrate by force of arms the defenses of an ultra-authoritarian national-chauvinist white-supremacist regime that systematically slaughtered millions.

    Translation:
    To the gates of Hell
    As we make our way to heaven
    Through the N*zi lines
    PRIMO VICTORIA!
    https://youtu.be/kPVm-QkWbBQ
    Post edited by starswordc on
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
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    admiralnatadmiralnat Member Posts: 22,432 Arc User
    Those that are unable to properly resist forces applied by larger and more powerful entities and other miscellaneous forces will eventually succumb to the loss of anatomical and mental capacities that allow them to continue functioning as a living life form!

    Translation: The weak will perish!
    2jwMZnF.gif
    Winning.
    It's what I do. It's what I just did. It's what I'm about to do again. It's being undisputed emperor of an empire that cannot be disproved as the most powerful intergalactic empire in the entire universe; I always win, and everything I've won will definitely be won again... by me. It's my signature move, and thus, it's my signature. Problem, Sonic? Yeah, I mean you, Sonic, because you're being beat up, despite your being super. You can't even hit Shadow back, can you? Nope, he's too strong for you. Of course, I'm not Shadow, I'm the Super Emerald fueled fox that's pulling the strings; trust me, the fight would only be a few frames long if I were in it personally. Oh, and here's something for all you guys thinking you can win Last Post Wins 3.0; trust me, I'll be around a long while after the sun has already consumed the Earth while I sit out with the forum servers on Titan. Yes, I mean Titan... that comparatively little moon orbiting Saturn. It's a nice little place in a version of our solar system where the sun is a lot bigger. I mean, Mars will last longer than your precious Earth, but by then, it'll be one hot planet... and I figure Saturn's moon will be about the right temperate for a super-powered warlord. Oh, and trust me, I packed a lot of rings, and I mean a lot. Trillions, in fact, so I'll never run out of rings to power my super form. Besides, if I start to run out, I can just chaos control more rings into my reach. It's quite easy, really. You should try it. Granted, you'll never have the 7 Super Emeralds that I have in my possession, nor the Master Emerald that I've got hidden away somewhere... absorbed into my body thanks to Sonic logic, but whatever. I win. Again. I'm not kidding, either. Just check Last Post Wins, and if the last post isn't mine, it soon will be. Very, very soon. You can count on it. Seriously. By the way, if you're wondering, there's a really great Super Tails sprite sheet out there... somewhere... by some guy named shadow_91. These sprites are really great. Like, really good. Quality. Just like what I like to see in a sprite sheet. Also, credit to Joe T.E., his Sonic Battle style Super Sonic sprites have a great palette for a Super Sonic being beat up by Super Shadow, who's palette is from a Super Shadow sheet of unknown origin, but it turns out they were "borrowed" from a better sheet made by a certain Domenico. Oh, and the gif is actually a custom made super version of a similar gif, of which there are only 3 or 4 copies to be found by Google, and even then, evidently of an unknown source. Yep, it's one of those things. Stuff people have made, spread around, only for it to vanish and you to be the only person who still has a copy, not even knowing where it came from... like, literally at all. Oh, and anyone notice that Shadow's little chaos snap blast thingies are red and blue now? Yeah, I changed it. Problem, fans of purple? Yeah, I know you got a problem with that one, but you can just deal with it. After all, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly... alright, alright, I'll spare you the entire Bee Movie script, just Google it if you want. By the way, ever wonder how your characters would've ended up if they evolved in another universe? Yeah, that. Think about it. Ok, so you probably didn't bother reading up to here, but whatever, here's a surprise for you guys over at ESD (RP) who were crazy enough to read this: Emperor Nat of the mcfreakin' Terran Empire is gonna be right all along! The universe is gonna go BOOM! *Thumbs up to the insanity*
    Oh, now don't tell me you want in on all this! Well, ok. Look this that Egg Pawn hanging outside your window, pointing his laser rifle at you, waiting for my next order. He's doing his part. He helps conquer the weak-minded. He roboticizes the weak-bodied. Heck, he even helps keep the useless people from causing any trouble, but you know what? Join. Find the closest Nataran Empire roboticization center near you and join the ranks, before the ranks find you. Oh, I know, you figure it must be so satisfying to know I basically rule the world now, and you know what? It is, but do you want to know the true definition of satisfaction? Well, let me tell you a little story. One day, you see a brand new event. They're giving out boxes that give old event stuff. Your dilithium is plentiful. You buy a whole lot of Phoenix packs on your main, and open them all. You get one epic token. Then, you decide, that since you have all the Breen ships and don't give a damn about the others, you exchange it for an ultra rare, and grab yourself a Jem'Hadar Attack Ship and for the hell of it, a Voth Bulwark. You open both, leaving the Bulwark in your vast masses of starships as you jump into the bugship and deck it out, deck by deck, into the most awesome Jem'Hadar ship you can. You fly it. You enjoy it. Eventually, you get bored and leave, leaving the old Bulwark never flown... until later. Your main is long complete. Your new alt main, based off some character you pulled out of nothing just to explain away some starship being in service without the command of your dear admiral, is also complete. Mostly. Their reps and doffs are hard at work, getting you stuff. You realize the potential, and head back for your dear admiral, pull the most Voth themed build you can out of thin air, and suit up in your giant ship in the shape of you know what. You head out... and cause all sorts of havoc. Enemies scream out your name as their very life is drained away by your swarms of Aceton Assimilators. They complain to the devs of your OPness when you revive yourself from death every time you die. Do you show any form of mercy? No. After all, this isn't the United Federation of Planets, this is mother frakkin' Starfleet, where you explore strange new worlds and kick butt never kicked before. Oh, and you realize that I just wrote another speech rivaling your own signature. Cool. Oh, wait, that's just the original draft, it is part of my signature now. Oh, and yes, I am aware that I have become a Canadian Regent; one day, sooner than you'd expect, we'll suddenly decide to take over the world and declare an "alliance", and I shall become it's Regent. You know, like the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance in the mirror universe of our beloved Star Trek. Oh, who'll we be taking over with? I dunno, maybe [REDACTED], or maybe aliens from outer space. Guess you'll have to wait and find out, won't we? Until then, don't ask too many questions, or else my Breen allies on Titania might pick up on your -- [REDACTED BY BREEN CONFEDERACY FOR REASONS] Also, psst... keep an eye out for flying Tribbles! Also walls. Big, great walls, separating entire continents apart. Walls patrolled by Tribbles. Flying Tribbles. Flying Nukara Tribbles. Don't worry, it's not like they were on Venus with a herd of Tholians or anything, they just like the extreme heat and brutal weather like acid rain and hurricane force winds as the norm. Oh, and definitely keep your eye out on any two-tailed foxes, because if they ain't glowing, they're definitely an imposter. Possibly an Undine, we caught one of those once in my place once. Oh, and if you find a two-tailed fox that doesn't like the cold... most certainly ask him to say sorry. If he refuses, DESTROY HIM WITH A DOOMSDAY MACHINE, BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH AGAINST SUCH AN OVERPOWERED IMPOSTER!

    tr;dr, I am winning last post wins 3.0. Thank you for your time.
    Oh, look, an explosion...
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    theraven2378theraven2378 Member Posts: 5,986 Arc User
    Ere we go!!!!
    Translation: WAARGH!!
    NMXb2ph.png
      "The meaning of victory is not to merely defeat your enemy but to destroy him, to completely eradicate him from living memory, to leave no remnant of his endeavours, to crush utterly his achievement and remove from all record his every trace of existence. From that defeat no enemy can ever recover. That is the meaning of victory."
      -Lord Commander Solar Macharius
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      jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,366 Arc User
      My semi-frozen dairy-based beverage summons the totality of young males to the property surrounding my dwelling. They are quite vocal in their assertion that its flavor is superior to the flavor of that beverage which you have created. Quite vocal indeed. I could educate you on the finer points of the creation of this beverage; however, such education would require monetary compensation.

      Translation:
      My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
      And they're like, it's better than yours
      Damn right, it's better than yours
      I'd teach you, but I'd have to charge
      Lorna-Wing-sig.png
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      starfarerthetastarfarertheta Member Posts: 740 Arc User
      The forum users who have responded to the initial post have all made messages that display the quality of cunning and furthermore have provided a sufficient count of words. It would be agreeable if such activity will continue for the foreseeable future. :)

      Translation: Nice work everyone. Keep it up. :)
      \ \ A Hearth for the Tree / /
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      shevetshevet Member Posts: 1,667 Arc User
      Please specify the exact area of difficulty in this locality. It is the invariable custom of your current interlocutor to employ phraseology of this particular nature.

      Tr: What's the problem here? I talk like that all the time.

      (Also, who let the Jolciots into this forum? Eh?)
      8b6YIel.png?1
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      starfarerthetastarfarertheta Member Posts: 740 Arc User
      shevet wrote: »
      Please specify the exact area of difficulty in this locality. It is the invariable custom of your current interlocutor to employ phraseology of this particular nature.

      Tr: What's the problem here? I talk like that all the time.

      (Also, who let the Jolciots into this forum? Eh?)


      Poster of this specific inquiry, please elaborate as to the source of thy perception that this particular line of messages represents an attempt to highlight a grievence with the excessive use of complex textual matter.

      Translation: Why do you think there's a problem?
      \ \ A Hearth for the Tree / /
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      jorantomalakjorantomalak Member Posts: 7,133 Arc User
      crashdragon wrote: »
      Star Trekking across the universe, boldly going forward because we can't find reverse.

      Translation - Captain thew out the ship's user manual.

      Its life jim but not as we know it , not as we know it , not as we know it, its life jim but not as we know it captain.

      Translation : No jim you cant make whoopy with that tribble
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      jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,366 Arc User
      A matching pair of communications were recently entered into the online database; sadly, neither of the pairing fit within the accepted parameters of the matter under discussion.

      Translation: That's not what we're doing here, and I'm pretty sure you know it.
      Lorna-Wing-sig.png
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      theraven2378theraven2378 Member Posts: 5,986 Arc User
      It is better to die for the Emperor than to live for yourself, the Emperor protects
      Translation: Ramming speed!!!!!
      NMXb2ph.png
        "The meaning of victory is not to merely defeat your enemy but to destroy him, to completely eradicate him from living memory, to leave no remnant of his endeavours, to crush utterly his achievement and remove from all record his every trace of existence. From that defeat no enemy can ever recover. That is the meaning of victory."
        -Lord Commander Solar Macharius
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        jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,366 Arc User
        Helm, accelerate this vessel's velocity to the point at which its inherent kinetic energy should prove more than sufficient to overcome our foe's defenses, while simultaneously directing the prow of our vessel such that its most probable trajectory shall intersect that of said foe, enabling our hull to penetrate that of said foe's craft upon impact.

        Translation: Ramming speed!
        Lorna-Wing-sig.png
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        takeshi6takeshi6 Member Posts: 752 Arc User
        A ruler of nations must command his soldiers from the front lines of battle, otherwise he does not know if they will perform their tasks as instructed.

        Translation: "If a king does not lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?" (Code Geass Quotes FTW, baby!!! :D )
        76561198160276582.png
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        ryanqzqz#8118 ryanqzqz
        ryanqzqz#8118
                 Member Posts: 4 Arc User
        I must request most vehemently that you display your local form of currency, and quite possibly transfer large portions of that currency to the ownership of my personage, and also possibly vowing to continue transferring large portions of said currency for the forseeable future.

        Translation: SHOW ME THE MONEY!
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        starfarerthetastarfarertheta Member Posts: 740 Arc User
        You may discharge our supply of weaponized energy and kinetic projectiles in the direction of our current adversary at your own deliberate intentions and wishes!

        Translation: Fire at will!
        \ \ A Hearth for the Tree / /
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        starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
        Do not operate a motor vehicle in the manner preferred by my male sibling.

        Translation: Don't drive like my brother.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0DUQM4yU2k
        "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
        — Sabaton, "Great War"
        VZ9ASdg.png

        Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
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        starfarerthetastarfarertheta Member Posts: 740 Arc User
        edited July 2018
        We shall align ourselves in a perpendicular or parallel fashion relative to our mortal adversary so that we may simultaneously discharge all of our side armament against that adversary.

        Translation: Full broad side.
        \ \ A Hearth for the Tree / /
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        mneme0mneme0 Member Posts: 498 Arc User
        edited July 2018
        The temperature of this HTML document consisting of a number of messages composed by individual forum users collated into a legible linear format for easy comprehension by web users interested in perusing its content possesses a refreshing ambiance reminiscent of a moderately low temperature region such as one might find on top of a mountain where the air is colder than the surrounding terrain, provoking in at least this viewer a sensation analogous to the menthol-triggered gustatory sensation such as one might also experience when consuming a disc-shaped, chocolate-and-mint confection in a silver wrapper produced by the Hershey's candy company, my fellow forum user compatriot for whom I have come to evince a newfound fraternal appreciation and fondness.

        Translation: Cool thread, bro.
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        mneme0mneme0 Member Posts: 498 Arc User
        Please direct the maximum feasible pieces of our current complement of independently-propelled explosive ordnance from their respective storage bays toward the appropriate launchers. Once this operation has been completed, connect these devices to their respective arming mechanisms so that they may have their destructive payloads installed; furthermore, immediately implement their containment fields so as to prevent premature contact with any materials that might trigger a destructive reaction that would destroy our vessel. As soon as the ordnance has been activated, continue the process by which the devices may be expelled via electromagnetic induction into the space surrounding our vessel; when feasible, engage the targeting computers and command them to direct thrust along appropriate vectors to accelerate the ordnance toward the hostile vessel I previously indicated, with the intention of causing impacts and detonations to damage the vessel in question to cause it to break off its ill-advised and problematic assault upon us. Should the number of pieces of ordnance currently stored in our rather depleted reserves be unequal to the tactically-mandated attack patterns normally directed by Starfleet protocol, a distinct possibility considering the excessive time we have spent in the Delta Quadrant away from our normal resupplies at starbases and other facilities, please direct the computer to calculate and display visual effects simulating additional attacks, to avoid any appearance of weakness that may cause us additional strategic or diplomatic difficulties in the future.

        Translation: Fire torpedoes, full spread!
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