No, this is not an announcement for some antiquated 21st century show!
The “Nanov for president” campaign, which has brought you the popular
Nanov LX™ luxury pet/premium financial product and
Nanovette™ bridge officer/attorney-at-law is proud to present its all new Nanov product:
The Winter Nanov™ duty officer trio.![winter_nanov.png](http://www.adfleet.org/forum/attachments/winter_nanov.png)
In this upgrade, you can find not one, not two, but THREE all new Epic-Grade duty officers.
Winter Nanov™, Psychiatrist
Winter Nanov™, Psychiatrist, is officially a “counselor” in your roster. He is specialised in helping the crew cope with extended missions in space and their impact on the Nanov psyche. He has besome the galactic expert in SAD – Spatial Affective Disorder – and can help your crew regain enthusiasm in exploration or the felling of your enemies!
Active duty effect: (Space) Increases all damage by 5%
Winter Nanov™, Nutritionist
Winter Nanov™, Nutritionist, is officially a “nurse” in your roster. He is specialised in preventing the scourge of SDS, spatial distension syndrome. Long voyages in a metal box with an endless supply of food will adversely affect anyone’s waistline. Winter Nanov, Nutritionist, will actively follow the crew, providing passive-aggressive, guilt-inducing remarks designed to keep your crew in top shape for all of your missions!
Active duty effect: (Ground) Doubles the magnitude and duration of all food items.
Winter Nanov™, Physiotherapist
Winter Nanov™, Physiotherapist, is officially a “doctor” in your roster. He is specialised in preventing the stiffness that typically accompanies sitting in a chair all day shouting “Engage!” at your helmsperson. Using the patented Nanov tentacular suction cup non-erotic massage, it will put your crew in a state of operational supra-readiness!
Active duty effect: (Space) Reduces all station cooldowns by 4%
Your ship deserves the best, and so do you! You can now purchase the Winter Nanov™ duty officer trio for 50 zen, or four billion dilithium today!
Give your crew a hand (or a tentacle) with Winter Nanov™!
Tex@luckyyahoo, U.S.S. Rocinante
STO fauna enthusiast/Joker extraordinaire
Vote Nanov!
Comments
My horta BOff prefers "Helmsbeing" thank-you-very-much!
I think the key is owning the loss of sanity. The posts where people obviously are under the impression that they are still grounded in reality are the maddening ones.
Absolutely. Someone was saying just the other day how you scored high in sanity.
...Or was that high insanity?