Of Damsels And Distress

theyredeadjim · August 2016

I've just published a new Foundry mission, and I would appreciate any reviews and comments. This mission is now out of review and is in the Top 3 for its mission door.

The Details:

Name: Of Damsels And Distress
ID: ST-HHYHKXKKA
Author: @Thomas_Baston
Faction: Starfleet
Location: SPR-5195, Draylon Sector, Alpha Quadrant
Play Time: Approximately 1/2 Hour

Your ship has intercepted a weak radio signal coming from the SPR-5195 area of space.

The signal appears to be a looping distress signal from an unknown alien vessel.

Will you save her?

theyredeadjim · August 2016

Thanks to some of my reviewers, certain problems have been recognized and (hopefully) remedied. These include:

A reach marker at the Water Supply Controls that was too small, and was difficult to locate. This has been replaced with an invisible object trigger that appears to function much better for its purpose.
Eavesdrop triggers that had the player move right next to the eavesdrop targets. These have been moved such that close proximity to the target is no longer necessary. A certain degree of suspension of disbelief is still required, but it's a bit better than it was.
An unidentified Ship Officer on the Khina IV map. The NPC caption will be updated to read, "Ship Officer of the Watch"

For those interested in some images from the mission, I offer these:

I don't mind trading mission plays, but I will be honest about your mission and expect the same from anyone who rates my work.

As always, I truly appreciate the reviews and the constructive comments of those who choose to play my missions

geoff484 · August 2016

I'm going to replay it tonight, sorry it's taken so long

geoff484 · August 2016

Okay, so I finally got around to it, sorry about that!

I really love the maps, more particularly the first ground map as it had a great, creepy atmosphere to it, reminded me of the first Alien movie. I love the subject matter of the story and there's only really two thing that bothered me.

The first is there's a small typo when you beam down to the planet that says "we will be see each other as we are", which is honestly barely noticeable. The other has to do with the story and is weird, because I'm not sure if it was a flaw, or just something that bothered me personally.

I was very intrigued with the story and its subject matter so-much-so that I was disappointed with the ending. I felt like it was building some emotion and I wanted to know Karn a little bit more, see her pain, and I just felt the ending kind of robbed it of that emotion. I loved the story so much and the twist just comes completely from left field - You were building a sympathetic character and the ending kind of cut that off. I think the story is fine over all, and I don't think this is a glaring flaw, just my personal opinion of course.

minababe · August 2016

Having played the mission, I 100@ agree with @geoff484 about the ending, and unfortunately, I think a lot of players are going to feel the same way. In the end, it's your call what to do about this story, but if it were me, I would make the Khina plotline a series in its own right and use the ending for a different mission altogether.

theyredeadjim · August 2016

Made the following corrections to the mission:

changed "we will be see each other as we are" to "we will be able to see each other as we are".
changed unidentified ship officer on Khina IV map to "Officer of the Watch".

Thank you for making my mission better

I do, however, reserve the right to tell the story that I wish to tell. Some will dislike it, this is true. Others might like it very much. The plot is the plot.

Which changes according to your choices

geoff484 · August 2016

Yeah, and that's honestly why I was hesitant to express my dislike of the ending - I didn't think it was terrible, it made sense, it did remind me of an TOS episode, it just wasnt the direction that I anticipated for.

Even though Im not too fond of the ending myself, I can see other people really liking it and if I were you I wouldn't change it either, especially if you feel satisfied with the story you were trying to tell.

Again, not terrible, I just personally wanted something different.

And I will probably play it again, i am curious about the optional dialogue paths that I didnt take.

ashstorm1 · December 2016

Just played the mission, and loved it. Very Trekkish. The end twist was quite unexpected.

Keep up the good work !

rancidmojo · January 2017

I just tried the mission. I liked it. You must have put a lot of work into the city map and it shows. Well done and fun mission.

thunderfoot · January 2017

Played this one over the holidays. I liked it. So much so I swapped chars and played it again. The ending was...different. I do not mean this in a bad way. It is just I was expecting something for the ending which ran a different direction. If I were you I'd leave it just as it is. Because it is fun and entertaining and a nice break from all the "Save The Federation In An Hour Or Less!" stuff.

Of Damsels And Distress

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