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[RSE] Citizenship

gawainviiigawainviii Member Posts: 328 Arc User
Mission Name: [RSE] Citizenship
Author: Gawain_VIII
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HED5HZKHP
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 Mins
This is the first mission in the [RSE] series, an alternative to the official Romulan storyline, where you are an officer in the Romulan Imperial Star Navy.

This mission takes places prior to "Turning Point".

In 2409, [Nickname] is a civilian, working as a manager at a supply distribution facility on Rator III, the new capital of the Romulan Star Empire. Life is good, simple, uncomplicated... until the duties of citizenship requires [Nickname] and team to answer the call of service.

Go to the Rator System.
(Note: This mission has been updated, as of Feb 19, and it's name has changed from "Duty, Citizenship, Service" to just "Citizenship".)
Post edited by gawainviii on
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Comments

  • gawainviiigawainviii Member Posts: 328 Arc User
    Updated. Cleaned up the corridors to make movement easier, added some background material, new dialog, and optional tasks. Still need to add "alive" background NPCs.
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  • gawainviiigawainviii Member Posts: 328 Arc User
    edited February 2016
    Updated. Name changed. Added a new map, more NPCs, & optional objectives. Fixed typos.
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  • xapocalypseponyxxapocalypseponyx Member Posts: 577 Arc User
    edited March 2016
    I know Cryptic hates doing split stories, but I so wish this is what happened when you aligned with the Klingons as a Romulan. I enjoyed the story so far and I anxiously await my next opportunity to serve the Empire.
  • drogyn1701drogyn1701 Member Posts: 3,606 Media Corps
    I am super happy that someone has finally done this! I tried to suggest it back in the day when people were unhappy about the Republic storyline, but to my knowledge no one has ever made it until now. Kudos. I'll make sure to play it as soon as I have time.
    The Foundry Roundtable live Saturdays at 7:30PM EST/4:30PM PST on twitch.tv/thefoundryroundtable
  • gawainviiigawainviii Member Posts: 328 Arc User
    @xapocalypseponyx, @drogyn1701, Thanks guys. I'm glad you like it. R/L has slowed my progress on Operation Khellian, but rest assured, it's still on the way... It just won't be on the one-per-week schedule I had originally hoped for.
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  • drogyn1701drogyn1701 Member Posts: 3,606 Media Corps
    Hey, got a chance to play this. Really, really enjoyed it. I've got a full review on the upcoming episode of the Foundry Roundtable, which will be posted in the Media Corps section just as soon as I finish uploading it :)

    I'm kicking myself though cause I forgot to mention your awesome senate map. I built a senate map about five years ago for one of my very first missions, but yours definitely went in different directions and I liked it quite a lot.
    The Foundry Roundtable live Saturdays at 7:30PM EST/4:30PM PST on twitch.tv/thefoundryroundtable
  • gawainviiigawainviii Member Posts: 328 Arc User
    edited April 2016
    Oh wow! Thanks, @drogyn1701. I certainly didn't expect this. Now I'm really kicking myself that I haven't published the tweaks I've made yet.

    Edit:
    I just finished listening on YouTube. A few things:
    * It's pronounced "guh-WAYN" not "GAW-wayn" :wink:
    * I used the wall of fire because it has collision. One of the tweaks in my next update will include a "catwalk" between building roofs to hide the top of the fire-wall.
    * Those "nothing to do" maps will be updated/tweaked with optional dialogues and more background NPCs.
    * Yes, the [RSE] series is running in parallel with the official story. An outline can be found here.
    * The Senate Chamber was, in part, inspired by a picture of a Foundry-built senate map I had found some time ago... It very well might have been yours. I originally was trying to duplicate that map (as best I could from the limited view I had) until I managed to get my hands on blueprints of the original "Senate Chamber" & "Continuing Committee" sets from Nemesis & DS9: Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges.
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  • drogyn1701drogyn1701 Member Posts: 3,606 Media Corps
    Certainly possible it was mine. The mission isn't up anymore. I have aspirations of retuning the mission series for Romulan Republic players. Maybe. Someday.

    H7bpkku.jpg?1
    The Foundry Roundtable live Saturdays at 7:30PM EST/4:30PM PST on twitch.tv/thefoundryroundtable
  • evil70thevil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    gawainviii wrote: »
    Request review for [RSE] Duty, Citizenship, Service.

    Mission Name: [RSE] Duty, Citizenship, Service
    Author: Gawain_VIII
    Minimum Level: Any
    Allegiance: Klingon
    Project ID: ST-HED5HZKHP
    Estimated Mission Length: 30 Mins

    Klingon Mission - Duty, Citizenship, Service
    Author: Gawain_VIII
    Allegiance: Klingon
    Project ID: ST-HED5HZKHP


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a good mission with well-designed maps, a few challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players. You did a great job and once you correct the minor issues I mention below it will be a great mission.

    Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: This is good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: This is a good initial task. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    MAPS:
    Supply Distribution Facility: This is a good map with an easy battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Rator III: The map design is nicely done and the story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue, but I did note one thing to consider changing:
    -The interaction with the emergency responders felt as if it were rushed. It seemed as though there was not much thought put into it. As if you were trying to get past it to move to the next task. Consider adding more dialogue between the player and the emergency responder regarding the issue before the player is sent away. Also consider adding more responders closer to the incident, extinguishing the fires perhaps and helping the injured. That would make it seem more involving for the player.

    Deep Space: The map design is good and the story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue, but I did note a couple of things to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the map orientation and warp effect. I have never been fond of the North-South Weather Star Streaks. They appear to be broken unless you are moving at full impulse. Consider changing the orientation of the map to a west to east orientation. You can then use the West-East Weather Star Streaks which look much better.
    -Consider adding a drop from warp interaction before the map transfer text, indicating standard orbit.

    Khitomer Conference: This is a good map design with a challenging, but fun battle, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue, but I did note one thing to consider changing:
    -Around the combat ring the fire towers are hovering off the ground. Consider having them placed on the ground.

    Khitomer System: This is a good map design with very challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

    Rator System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue, but I did note one thing to consider changing:
    -The map transfer dialogue, consider changing "We have recieved the coordinates" to read "We have received the coordinates".

    Imperial Romulan Senate Chamber: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. As I mentioned above, you did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 05/09/2016 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
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