Dark Legacies part 5/5: Fires of Vengeance FINALE -Released-

Well it's official, my Dark Legacies arc has reached it's conclusion in part five. I'm happy to announce that the mission is now up for review. Please let me know what you think of this final battle with Rishis and her new allies from both the past and future, or heck what you've thought of the story overall.

Without futurther delay the details:
Title: [DL-5/5] Fires of Vengeance
Minimum Level: 57
Project ID: ST-HUW825NE7
Author: Gromio
Door: Iconian Gateway, Beta Quadrant
Why do I still play and put money into STO?
The Foundry, and my love of Star Trek

Comments

  • evil70th
    evil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    zionus0 wrote: »
    The final part of Dark Legacies, I'm very happy with how this turned out! Right before university started back up to! I really still can't believe the story is finished...


    Title: [DL-5/5] Fires of Vengeance
    Author: Gromio
    Minimum Level: 57+
    Faction: Starfleet or Fed-Rom
    Project ID: ST-HUW825NE7
    Door: Dyson Sphere Gateway, Beta Quadrant
    Estimated Length: 60-90 minutes (depending on optional dialogues)

    Description:
    This mission takes place after the Iconian war.

    Over the course of your career you've had many enemies. Somehow vanquishing all of them. You have risen to become one of the most decorated commanders in the Delta Alliance, your name known in every quarter of the galaxy. But your true foe still lurks in the shadows, waiting to strike.
    Called into action after a devastating surprise attack on the Delta Dyson sphere, you must discover the goal of one of the most determined adversaries you've ever faced. It may take every skill you have to stop them.... If you do not... Then you may cause a reign of terror with no end in sight.

    Under review tab.

    Federation Mission - Fires of Vengeance
    Author: Gromio
    Allegiance: Federation or Federation Romulan
    Project ID: ST-HUW825NE7


    Report Start


    Summary: I went through several missions and got my main character up to level 57. It took a little while but it reminded me how much I like the game. Sometimes you can lose sight of that when you are evaluating missions for authors as much as I do. Speaking of evaluations, below is mine.

    This is a good mission overall, even though I found a large number of spelling and grammatical errors in the dialogue. It almost felt like you were rushing the dialogue, which would be why you had a higher number of the errors than in previous missions. The mission is a good combination of map design, battles and well written story dialogue. I would definitely recommend the mission and the entire series. It was enjoyable all the way around and you hardly notice the time spent playing.

    Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

    Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

    Mission Task: This is a good initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing "[OOC]Arriving at Delta Command you find it in shambels[/OOC]" to read "[OOC]Arriving at Delta Command you find it in shambles[/OOC]"
    -Consider changing "Fleet Admiral Nevalis still hans't returned from" to read "Fleet Admiral Nevalis still hasn't returned from".

    MAPS:
    Delta Quardent: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the map name "Delta Quardent" to read "Delta Quadrant".
    -The Fleet Admiral Nevalis dialogue; consider changing "I don't who this is" to read "I don't know who this is".
    -Consider changing "forces at the dyson sphere" to read "forces at the Dyson sphere".
    -Consider changing "reports of the undine attack on Sol" to read "reports of the Undine attack on Sol".
    -Consider changing "I gathered everyship I could" to read "I gathered every ship I could".
    -Consider changing "in the Delta Quardent exepct the undine" to read "in the Delta Quadrant except the Undine".
    -Consider changing "toxin to make us attack eachother" to read "toxin to make us attack each other".
    -Consider changing "Files, gatway codes, technology" to read "Files, gateway codes, technology".
    -Consider changing the response button "Will you be abke to make repairs" to read "Will you be able to make repairs".
    -Consider changing the response button "Evasive manuvers" to read "Evasive maneuvers".
    -The post Second wave dialogue; consider changing "How intresting" to read "How interesting".
    -Consider changing "The transission cut off Captain" to read "The transmission cut off Captain".
    -Consider changing "They could have near limitilmss troops" to read "They could have near limitless troops".
    -Consider changing "No captain I've been trying without succsess" to read "No Captain, I've been trying without success".
    -Consider changing "everything I've ben trying as I attempt it" to read "everything I've been trying as I attempt it".
    -Consider changing "we might be ale to learn" to read "we might be able to learn".

    Asteroid Field: This is good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The initial hostile engagement is too close together. Consider spreading them out to enable the player to engage them one at a time or reducing the total number to be engaged.
    -The map transition dialogue; consider changing "I'm detecting multipel enemy groups and forcefields being brought on line" to read "I'm detecting multiple enemy groups and force fields being brought online".
    -Consider changing the response button "Have addaditional teams standing by" to read "Have additional teams standing by".

    Station Interior 1: This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -All consoles, doors or other items that require or are optional for the player to use have a button labeled "Interact" which is the default entry. Consider changing them to something appropriate to the interaction. For example, "Access Console" or "Open Door", etc.
    -The post Old Foes task dialogue, consider changing the response button "We go to office of course" to read "We go to the office, of course".
    -Consider changing the response button "We do what we unfortunatly do best" to read "We do what we, unfortunately, do best".
    -The console "Check logs on Dyson sphere" is off the ground and looks odd. Consider placing it on the deck.
    -Consider changing the response button "Personel" to read "Personnel".
    -Due to the number of spelling and grammatical errors noted in this review, from this point forward I will note the maps containing errors. It is up to you to go through the dialogue to locate and correct these errors. Consider checking all dialogue, response buttons, and interactions throughout this map to ensure there are no spelling or grammatical errors.

    Station Interior 2: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.
    -All consoles, doors or other items that require or are optional for the player to use have a button labeled "Interact".

    Station Powercore Level: This is a good map design with several challenging battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the map name "Station Powercore Level" to read "Station Power Core Level".
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.
    -All consoles, doors or other items that require or are optional for the player to use have a button labeled "Interact".

    Asteroid Field: This is good map design tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.

    Galactic Edge: This is good map design with several tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.

    Vendetta shuttle Bay: This is good map design with several tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -Consider changing the map name "Vendetta shuttle Bay" to read "Vendetta Shuttle Bay".
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.

    The Abyss: This is good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.

    I.S.S. Vendetta-Bridge: This is good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -I noted some spelling and grammatical errors on this map. Consider checking all dialogue and response buttons for spelling or grammatical errors.

    Dyson Sphere: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue and a good wrap up to the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with the series and this episode wraps the story nicely. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 03/18/2016 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.