new foundry mission, please check out Reign of the Reptiles

Comments

• duncanidaho11 Member Posts: 7,980 Arc User

  February 2016 edited February 2016

  Queued it up. First pointer though - don't just put the mission start location in the first pop-up. You should always include it somewhere the player can go back to without dropping the mission (such as the mission description or the description for the first map).
  
  I'll use spoiler tags around my feedback.

  There's a few nice touches but one thing you do need to work on is plot stuff. Why and how any of this is happening is more or less taken for granted. That leaves you free to focus on the core idea, and that's pretty well presented (again, nice touches), but everything around that idea isn't developed. You either have to take it for granted that somehow, for example, the Voth, Gorn, Dominion, and Cardassians have all suddenly become friends (in spite of everything) and have access to an apparently stable time portal in the Delta Quadrant or you're going to be easily lost despite the straight-forward nature of the mission. A Gorn nemesis thrown in right at the very end of the mission wasn't particularly helpful either (who is this person and why have they turned into a Reptile-supremacist? We need constant gloating from a villain like this!)
  
  (Also you should be mindful of the fact that both Jem'Hadar and Cardassians have hair. )
  
  Overall, technically there's nothing wrong with the mission and the combat does its job (though maybe the difficulty is on the light side for a mission that's restricted to higher levels.) But I couldn't really get into it. More does need to be put into the characters and ideas (think about setting up the incursion as a separate set of events that could help build a stronger backstory) or alternatively fewer confounding faction relationships (why couldn't this just have been a Voth plot?)

  Post edited by duncanidaho11 on February 2016

  Bipedal mammal and senior Foundry author.

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  Notable missions: Apex [AEI], Gemini [SSF], Trident [AEI], Evolution's Smile [SSF], Transcendence

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  Looking for something new to play? I've started building Foundry missions again in visual novel form!

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• qisomnipotent Member Posts: 2 Arc User

  February 2016

  Thanks a lot for your imput, you have been very helpful,
  I will try and work it out a.s.a.p., starting with the location of the mission entry point in the Kyana system (Delta quadrant)

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