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Something that must of happened
birzark
Member Posts: 634 Arc User
So I was playing a mission with a fleet mate and there were a TON of ships I had to fight against. We defeated them all and the boss of the group called in reinforcements which was 2 ships. So as soon as that happened I thought of what was the conversation that must of taken place between the two officers. Which would be something like this:
Officer 1: Sir the armada is ready for battle.
Officer 2: Very good, how many ships?
Officer 1: At least 20 ships, also I have just in case some reinforcements if the situation becomes dire.
Officer 2: Great idea, how many ships do we have for that?
Officer 1:Two.
Officer 2: What? If they kill all of our ships how is two going to make any difference?
Officer 1: It's very unlikely they will be able to kill all of them. They are the most powerful ships we got.
Officer 2: Ok if you say so.
Officer 1:You won't regret this.
Anyone else think of a conversation that must of happened before a mission?
Officer 1: Sir the armada is ready for battle.
Officer 2: Very good, how many ships?
Officer 1: At least 20 ships, also I have just in case some reinforcements if the situation becomes dire.
Officer 2: Great idea, how many ships do we have for that?
Officer 1:Two.
Officer 2: What? If they kill all of our ships how is two going to make any difference?
Officer 1: It's very unlikely they will be able to kill all of them. They are the most powerful ships we got.
Officer 2: Ok if you say so.
Officer 1:You won't regret this.
Anyone else think of a conversation that must of happened before a mission?
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Dark lord: No, instead I want you to send out our weakest troops, and then if those are defeated send out our next strongest troops,and continue to send out incrementaly stronger enemies....that's a much better plan
moral....villains don't always make the best battle choices
Servant: but what if they defeat all our troops?
Dark Lord: Then they shall get a random object from my toy chest and some of my personal savings as a reward.
The phrase is must have. "Must of" makes no sense.
http://www.zeldacomic.net/episode-173-boingy-boingy-boingy/
This thread is fun and your attempts to kill the joy suck.
/shoo
Boss: Good News Everyone! I was able to keep from ship from exploding after taking too much damage. As soon as I get below 10% hull strength my ship becomes untargetable.
Support captain: That's great, when will that be installed on our ships?
Boss: Ugh.......Never mind that, To Battle!
Final Voth Fleet Commander communiqe: Our entire fleet has been obliterated by a huge armada of Highly powered Vessels collected from across the galaxy!
Voth High Command: Send in a single repair ship, they wont notice it, all will be fine.
Voth ward pilot: Are you SURE about this sir???
Voth:high command: Yep, you'll be fine, off you go, oh by the way could you sign this piece of paper quickly please?
"If this will be our end, then I will have them make SUCH an end as to be worthy of rememberance! Out of torpedos you say?! Find me the ferengi!".
Notably for things like Tovan Khev hating on the Tal Shiar despite dressing him as one, and his sister telling him she didn't believe him to be Tal Shiar, after saving her from Nimbus.
Same applies to any Rom character dressed up in Tal Shiar attire being told they're trusted or thanked while at the same time, talking about the Tal Shiar in a negative manner, such as Admiral T'nae or Obeisk.
Or a Klingon Fed during the early Fed missions vs the Klingons.
The people in charge are undine.
Not everything you see on the internet is true - Abraham Lincoln
Occidere populo et effercio confractus
Hanchon: General Q'nel, Vaadwaur troops have claimed the buildings between the City and the temple. We cannot keep fighting them much longer.
Q'nel: That is no problem. As we speak, we have an armada from the Alpha Quadrant underway.
Hanchon: Excellent! I take it their orbital strikes will completely wipe the Vaadwaur army away?
Q'nel: Orbital Strike? Are you crazy? How will there be any corpses to rebirth then?
Hanchon: Sir, wouldn't ending the conflict safe more lives than keep fighting?
Q'nel: Yes, but I want those Vaadwaur. Even now they are capable of claiming the Temple, ressurecting thousands of Vaadwaur soldiers, and are probably working on a way to wipe us out.
Join the Deltas today!
Captain: They're needed elsewhere. To Argala!
... OR ...
Captain: They're busy supplying their past selves with information and gear.
First Officer: Doesn't that breach the Temporal Prime Directive?
Captain: Don't worry. It's a predestination paradox. Everything they're doing will lead us exactly to this point. Their past selves won't succeed in changing anything. The Klingons will ignore their warnings, the Undine will ignore their warning, a program they run in the 23rd century will go undetected and discover nothing useful.
First Officer: So if they don't succeed at changing anything, why bother?
Captain: Once you've committed yourself to a predestination paradox, you've committed yourself to a predestination paradox. The Temporal Prime Directive demands that we make a failed attempt at altering history instead of assisting here.
First Officer: Why?
Captain: Because our records indicate that we attempted to alter history and failed to change anything.
First Officer: But ---
Captain: Weren't you the one just about to lecture me about predestination paradoxes a minute ago?
First Officer: Well, no. Because if I was going to, I would have. Since I didn't, I never was going to.
Captain: Remind me to have you retroactively demoted for insubordination.
First Officer: I already did remind you tomorrow.
Captain: Really? I never got that memo.
First Officer: I guess you're going to change your mind then.
It was an honest mistake, let it go.
Well done, i loved the ending.
Can you imagine what it's like for CSA?
Borg Hive Mind 1: They have brought 5 additional ships. According to our scans they are all high class and well armed. Action must be taken. Launch assimilated Birds of Prey to destroy the I.K.S. Kang.
Borg Hive Mind 2: But wouldn't it be easier and more efficient to launch assimilated Neg'vhars and simply destroy them and the cure?
Borg Hive Mind 1: They are not a threat to us. They do not warrant such actions.
Borg Hive Mind 2: If they aren't a threat to us, then why are we launching Birds of Prey?
Borg Hive Mind 1: Because the I.K.S. Kang must be destroyed.
Borg Hive Mind 2: Then why not launch Neg'vhars? They will destroy the Kang more efficiently and have a far higher likelihood of survival against the 5 new ships.
Borg Hive Mind 1: The new ships are not a threat. The Birds of Prey will be able to destroy the Kang easily.
Borg Hive Mind 2: And what if they destroy the Birds of Prey and launch bay?
Borg Hive Mind 1: Then they will have proven to be a threat.
Borg Hive Mind 2: Then we launch the Neg'vhars?
Borg Hive Mind 1: No. Then we launch assimilated Raptors.
Borg Hive Mind 2: ... And if they destroy those and another launch bay?
Borg Hive Mind 1: Then we launch assimilated Neg'vhars.
Borg Hive Mind 2: Let me get this straight. We are prepared to launch Neg'vhars in case they prove to be a threat, but instead of just eliminating them right away with the assimilated battlecruisers, we're going to instead launch ships of increasing strength leading up to the Neg'vhars?
Borg Hive Mind 1: Correct. And if they destroy those and the Kang escapes, then we will deploy the assimilated Carrier.
Borg Hive Mind 2: ... Why not just deploy the Carrier and Neg'vhars first and destroy them?
Borg Hive Mind 1: Because they are not a threat.
Borg Hive Mind 2: Then why do we even have those ships?
Borg Hive Mind 1: In case they prove to be a threat.
Borg Hive Mind 2: ...
Borg Unimatrix: Warning. Unit 478 has self destructed for unknown reason. Run diagnostic level 3 immediately.
Here is another:
Admiral: I see here Captain you just repaired the Traelus Satellites, is that true?
Captain: Yes Sir.
Admiral: Haven't you done this before?
Captain: I pass by there daily to keep up the maintenance on them.
Admiral: I wasn't aware they required that much attention. I will see to them getting repaired by a stationed repair crew there. You are dismissed Captain.
Lieutenant : Admiral, this report just came in that the Argala System is being constantly patrolled.
Admiral: CAPTAIN!!!!
Cooper : I just received from from one of our agents,the alpha quadrant powers have learned the location of this shipyard and are sending a fleet to destroy it.
Undine captain: How many,sir?
Cooper: Fleet reports suggest no more than 5 to 6.
Undine captain:Excellent! I take it we have a......"surprise" waiting for them?
Cooper:Yes,I have 30 nicor,30 dromias and 10 Tethys dreadnoughts spread over all 3 shipyards!Also,if they manage to destroy the first two shipyards,I have a fully grown Planet killer ready to serve as the final boss!
Undine Captain: .........aren't these the same ships that almost single handedly stopped our Qo'nos assault fleet?Shouldn't we use the planet killer the moment they enter our space?
Cooper: No,they are no threat.
Undine Captain:But if they are no threat,wouldn't finishing them off with a decisive blow be more efficient?Why give them any chance at all?
Cooper:That is not needed.We are strong,they are weak......and the weak shall perish.
Cooper: Also,you are to lead the fleet.Sign here,quick.
*fast forward to end of mission*
Undine captain (just before a torp spread hits):....* grumble grumble * "The weak shall perish" * grumble grumble*...
Flagship - N.C.C.-99635-A U.S.S. Asterion
I support playable Typhoon class!!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Klingon General: The petaq Federation cant stop us now, that star base was destroyed easily.
Klingon Captain: So, What is the plan now?
Klingon General: We wait around the star base in separate group formations and wait for any federation ships to attack us.
Klingon Captain: Great, a cloaked formation, they will think that we left and then we attack.
Klingon General: What? Don't be stupid, then how would they have a chance to try and defeat us.
Klingon Captain: Why would we want them to do that?
Klingon General: So that they may try and defeat 50 of our greatest warriors in glorious combat.
Klingon Captain: That sounds great but we are at war to WIN, this just sounds like a waste of really good warriors.
Klingon General: Nonsense they need to do this so that they may have a chance at defeating 20 of our greatest Battleships.
Klingon Captain: You expect them to defeat 50 of our greatest warriors?
Klingon General: There is no way they will even defeat 1 ship let alone 50. We'll be Fine.
After defeating the planet killers in undone battlezone
Voth Command: Captain your orders are to invade the sphere and claim dominance over the prime apes.
Voth Captain: When shall I send the order to invade?
Voth Command: After they attempted to destroy the planet killers.
Voth Captain: Why are we waiting? Why not invade now?
Voth Command: Because they will be at there weakest after that battle and we can wipe them out.
Voth Captain: OK, but do you plan on us fighting them and the Undine?
Voth Command: Don't be silly, the Undine will retreat and you can destroy the remaining ships easily.
Voth Captain: Uhm... OK
Voth Command: and remember captain you have 5 minutes to pull off this invasion or you need to pull the troops back.