Time's Razor - ST:Odyssey S1:E6

Comments

• captainazzarano Member Posts: 60 Arc User

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  I need 5 reviews to make it official. Any helpers?

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• captainazzarano Member Posts: 60 Arc User

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  Can anyone help by playing my mission?
  
  I haven't had one review since I published it last night.

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• captainazzarano Member Posts: 60 Arc User

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  Two people have played the mission. I still need another 3 to have it fully authorized.
  
  Any helpers?

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• rogueeenterprise Member Posts: 299 Arc User

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  Just gave it a shot and gave a 4-star review. Some very cool custom maps in use there!

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• evil70th Member Posts: 1,017 Arc User

  December 2014 edited December 2014

  captainazzarano wrote: »

  Evil70th, it's been a while. You're doing a valuable service to the Foundry community.
  
  Mission Title: Time's Razor
  Author: Captainazzarano
  Project ID: ST-HTZ2LKMWJ
  Allegiance: Federation
  Level: 31+
  Description: Struggling against the burden of creating a whole new civilization in the Delta Volanis Cluster, the colonists of Polaris have sent a request for basic provisions and supplies to Starfleet Command. But, when the ship encounters a subspace distortion that throws them back through time and space, they must find a way to try to repair the damage that they've done. Boldly go into the unknown in this episode of Star Trek: Odyssey...
  Authors Notes: This episode includes elements of an RPG, an optional Side Quest, and ground battles. If you want to play the side quest, you can get it started by talking to the enlistment officer in the armory of Elysia map. The story contains a classic Trek twist at the end.
  Estimated Length: 60-90 minutes depending on Side Quest play/reading time.
  
  Thanks, Evil70th!

  
  Federation Mission - Time's Razor
  Author: Captainazzarano
  Allegiance: Federation
  Project ID: ST-HTZ2LKMWJ
  
  

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  Report Start

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  Summary: This is a good mission with well designed maps, fun battles and well written story dialogue. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players. It was an enjoyable story with a nice twist at the end. Well done.
  
  I mention the use of weather starstreaks below on a couple of the space maps. This is a fairly common issue I have found on many missions in the past. In general I believe the Weather Starstreaks West East 01 effect is better than the Weather Starstreaks North South 01 effect. This is mainly due to the effect itself. The Weather Starstreaks North South 01 effect works if you are traveling at full impulse, otherwise it does not look that good. This becomes especially true if you are traveling south using this effect. That is why I usually recommend the other effect. The other issue you had was the alignment of the player when warp was engaged. If the player does not hit the exact spot you intended for the effect to become active it will look off or the player may not be in the effect at all. In one instance I was clearly below the effect when it engaged. Now, how to fix this? Recently I have been using the method of moving objects closer or when using warp making objects disappear and appear with the player never moving. Of course this would only work if you are not engaging in a fight during the map, which is the case in your mission. So it might be something to consider using for your maps.
  
  The clear definition of tasks on a given map is the key to making the map and therefore the mission enjoyable. On two of your ground maps you have tasks that must be completed before the player can advance to the next task. While the maze on the "Elysia Sewer System" map is a nice twist the lack of clearly defined locations for certain tasks was annoying. For example the "Find the Maintenance Door" and "Find a Way Out" tasks did not show on the map. Each one had to be triggered before the other would show. I was able to get the general area using a scan but it would have been easy to miss the location of the "Find a Way Out" task on that map. The addition of the fog throughout that map also made it more annoying rather than a challenge. Consider making the fog disappear after they complete the "Find a Way Out" task. You can add some dialogue regarding the opening of the door sucking out all the fumes or something along those lines. The other map was the "Elysia" map. There were plenty of NPC Triggered dialogue but until the player found the "Scan the Panel" on the wall nothing else was visible. You should consider making the task the player needs to find clearly visible on the mini map as a task. If you want the player to explorer the area then add those items as tasks to be completed in the larger "Explore the Colony" task. Just be careful to make the other elements a good part of the overall story.
  
  One last thing I mentioned below is the use of Captain [LastName]" vice "[Rank] [LastName]". There was at least one place in your maps dialogue where you switched between the uses of the two options albeit not the same window. In the story the player's rank is usually not a factor and can be awkward when they actually out rank the NPC they may be in charge of the situation. That was not necessarily the case in your mission but it allows you to create dialogue that is rank and gender neutral. Yes it is also a rank the player can obtain but being a starship Captain is where the real power of command lay and therefore more than just a rank.
  
  Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
  
  Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
  -Consider changing the "Mission Start" information to [MissionInfo] dialogue so that it stands out in the text.
  
  Grant Mission Dialogue: This is well written grant and follow on dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
  -Consider changing the initial grant dialogue from [MissionInfo] to plain text.
  -Consider changing the "Mission Start" information to [MissionInfo] dialogue vice [OOC].
  -Consider changing "[Rank] [LastName]" to read "Captain [LastName]. I will cover this in more detail in my summary above.
  
  Mission Task: This is a good use of the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
  
  Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
  
  MAPS:
  Polaris: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
  -The use of "[Rank] [LastName]" vice "Captain [LastName]" was done on the initial dialogue but the same BOFF refers to the player as Captain in later dialogue. This will be part of the discussion indicated in the summary above.
  
  ???: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
  -Even though sir is a sign of respect consider changing dialogue "sir" to read "Captain" as that is the position of the player and would less gender specific.
  -If you are going to use the warp streaks then consider changing your map orientation to a westerly orientation and using "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. It looks more like warp space then the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" regardless of the players speed. The other issue is player alignment to the right angle and altitude when the warp starts it looks odd. Perhaps remove the warp streaks altogether and have the player warp directly to that part of the system when they engage the warp. I will discuss this in more detail in my summary above.
  -The Orbit & Scan Unknown V task location is not clearly defined on the map. I was able to find it as I understood the 45 degree angle given but not every player would understand it. Consider using a place marker or other object that provides a location on the mini map for the player to proceed to.
  -The post Orbit & Scan Unknown V dialogue; consider changing "heavily damaged after we when through the subspace distortion" to read "heavily damaged after we went through the subspace distortion".
  
  Colony: This is a good map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
  -At the end of the Talk to the Elders task the three buttons that appear all say "Interact" consider changing them to "Speak with…" whomever the button has them speak with.
  -Consider placing all the Elders closer together at the meeting location. It appears strange when they speak but are farther away.
  -Consider looking at the map on High Detail. I play my missions on High Detail and there are a lot of plants that end up blocking some of the elements you have placed on the map.
  
  Unknown System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
  -The use of warp streaks and movement on the map are the same as previously discussed on the "???" map. I will discuss this in more detail in my summary above.
  
  Elysia Sewer System: This is a nice map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
  -This map needs clearly defined tasks, which means a clear location on the mini map. I will discuss this in my summary above.
  
  Elysia: This is a very good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
  -This map needs clearly defined tasks, which means a clear location on the mini map.
  -The use of optional dialogue vice triggered dialogue. Along with clearly defined mission tasks needing to be placed on this map the use of triggered dialogue may be a better option rather than NPC triggered. The optional triggered dialogue goes away after the player interacts. The NPC triggered dialogue does not.
  -You had a couple of "Interact" buttons vice actual indication of what the player was doing. I noted it on the phaser in the armory and in the library. Interact is a default for a button that has not been defined. Consider checking all interactions to ensure the buttons are clearly defined.
  -Consider replacing all the chairs in the court room with benches. It would look better than the chairs you are currently using.
  
  Security & Maintanence Level: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
  -Consider changing the map name to read "Security & Maintenance Level" vice the current spelling of Maintenance as indicated in the map name above.
  
  

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  End Report

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  Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work and this series in the future.
  Brian
  
  This critique report also filed 12/19/2014 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request. The specific report in that posting can also be viewed here: Mission Critique Report - Time's Razor.

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