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Fan fiction

xblazex#7666 xblazex Member Posts: 130 Arc User
edited September 2014 in Ten Forward
Wrote some fanfiction based on my crew let me know what you think :)


**** :) My First Star Trek Online Fan Fiction :) *****
Post edited by xblazex#7666 on

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    xblazex#7666 xblazex Member Posts: 130 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    anyone take a look?
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    xblazex#7666 xblazex Member Posts: 130 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    wow ... :(
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    OK, couple of basic points from a 15-minute skim:

    1. Very few people are going to want to go to a website with a URL like that; it reeks of a scam site, even if it really is innocuous. Most people just write their stuff up and post it here on the forums; check out the Literary Challenges--Index sticky and a few of the threads linked therein for some typical formats. Alternatively, use FFN or (horror of horrors) Quotev.

    2. I literally could not read the story without laughing at the Captain's name. It's one thing if this is INTENTIONAL and you're mocking Mary Sue tropes, but "NovaBlast Shockwave" does not sound ANYTHING like a realistic Star Trek captain.

    3. Grammar. Nothing cheeses me off more than punctuation misuse, abuse, and lack of use, not to mention bad grammar. Get a beta reader if at all possible.

    4. Having read a little further, I am finding your Captain to be implausible. I recommend running his character sheet (if you've written one up) and backstory through this. I've run about 20 characters through that, only got one back as a Sue (and that one was SUPPOSED to be a Sue); it's the best, most reliable Mary Sue litmus test I've come across.

    5. Too many images. This is a personal pet peeve, others may have no problem with this.

    Other than that, not terribad.
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    xblazex#7666 xblazex Member Posts: 130 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Well thanks for being the only one to comment so far but i do think you were judging it form a professional writers point of view when i clearly stated this w as my first time and the intent was just doing it for fun and a new experience since previously all my writing has been " Non-fiction" to help and teach people how to improve their lives.
    worffan101 wrote: »
    OK, couple of basic points from a 15-minute skim:

    1. Very few people are going to want to go to a website with a URL like that; it reeks of a scam site, even if it really is innocuous. Most people just write their stuff up and post it here on the forums; check out the Literary Challenges--Index sticky and a few of the threads linked therein for some typical formats. Alternatively, use FFN or (horror of horrors) Quotev.

    My site is innocuous its a free self employment course I don't collect any type of personal information or payment. If people are going to judge a book by its cover there is nothing I can do about that. People make judgement calls everyday that are not necessary based on any type of actual fact. I prefer the freedom of layout and creativity I gety on my own site than that i can get on the forum.
    worffan101 wrote: »
    2. I literally could not read the story without laughing at the Captain's name. It's one thing if this is INTENTIONAL and you're mocking Mary Sue tropes, but "NovaBlast Shockwave" does not sound ANYTHING like a realistic Star Trek captain.

    I didn't know what mary sue was before i looked it up and really I fail to see the problem with it . As one site pointed out Captain Kirk was a "mary sue" type character and arguably the best Captain ( I know others will disagree with that . )Kirk Sisko Picard Janeway Archer
    worffan101 wrote: »
    3. Grammar. Nothing cheeses me off more than punctuation misuse, abuse, and lack of use, not to mention bad grammar. Get a beta reader if at all possible.

    see first comment
    worffan101 wrote: »
    4. Having read a little further, I am finding your Captain to be implausible. I recommend running his character sheet (if you've written one up) and backstory through this. I've run about 20 characters through that, only got one back as a Sue (and that one was SUPPOSED to be a Sue); it's the best, most reliable Mary Sue litmus test I've come across.

    see first and third comment. Also this comment sounds like the people who complain about all the canon and technical aspects that are "wrong" in the game. Its fantasy not everything has to be realistic.
    worffan101 wrote: »
    5. Too many images. This is a personal pet peeve, others may have no problem with this.

    Thats your opinion but I disagree
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Other than that, not terribad.

    wow....thanks .......
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Not trying to attack you, man, just offering advice. To reiterate/add on to what I already said:

    1. It really doesn't matter if your site is clean or not. The fact remains that it's a personal website not linked to the STO forums, and a lot of people here won't read the story because of that.

    Use FanFiction or just post the story straight here into Ten Forward.

    2. You may not have a problem with Mary Sues, but 99% of everyone else DOES. If you plan on writing fan fiction and want non-scathing reviews, I HIGHLY encourage you to write more balanced, realistic characters (here's some good links: 1. 2. 3. ).

    3. Sure, fantasy and sci-fi aren't supposed to be carbon copies of 21st-century Earth. But there HAS to be an element of realism to make ANY fiction story believable, and hence, enjoyable.

    4. Buddy, most people outright stop reading a story if there's more than one typo per paragraph. Grammar and spelling are HUGE issues in writing.
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    jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,390 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    Its fantasy not everything has to be realistic.
    And here we see the root of the problem (I mean, aside from the typos and such).

    This is not fantasy. It is science fiction. It must be rooted in something at least vaguely realistic. If I have a character named "NovaBlast Shockwave", it had better be either a costumed superhero in a very four-color universe, or have an interesting backstory involving incredibly poor parenting. It sounds like one of the names Mike and the 'bots were making up for one of the characters in Space Mutiny when they covered it on Mystery Science Theater 3000, right up there with "Beef Chesty" and "Huge McThicklarge" (which incidentally also sound like TRIBBLE names, unlike poor NovaBlast up there...).

    Here's a hint on naming a character. If it doesn't fit a known naming convention, and you can't say the name out loud without either giggling or feeling silly, you might want to rename the character.

    As for publishing Trek fanfic, that's a great deal of what we do here at Ten Forward. You hadn't noticed all the stories Patrickngo, Marcusdkane, Gulberat, and others have been writing, set in their Masterverse? Heck, even I've done it - almost entirely in response to the Literary Challenges, but there you go. If you want us to read it, put it here, not on your own site. If you want us to respect it, listen when people critique your writing. We all like to read, too - it's in our best interest to make each other improve as writers.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
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    kain9primekain9prime Member Posts: 739 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    I'm pretty adverse to fanfaics, but your captain's name? Wow, yeah, that's pretty uniquely immersion blowing. I mean, if you're not going to give him a proper name...if it's gonna be a random combo sort of thing like what you have here, might as well call him Chowdown Fuzzy or Smokefrog to at least make it sound kinda funny.
    The artist formally known as Romulus_Prime
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    sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    novablast, you're obviously new at this, so let me clear up a few misconceptions you seem to have:
    Well thanks for being the only one to comment so far but i do think you were judging it form a professional writers point of view when i clearly stated this w as my first time and the intent was just doing it for fun and a new experience...
    Very few of us here could consider ourselves to be "professional writers" and even if we are, everything we write and share here is strictly for just-for-fun.
    ...since previously all my writing has been " Non-fiction" to help and teach people how to improve their lives.

    My site is innocuous its a free self employment course I don't collect any type of personal information or payment. If people are going to judge a book by its cover there is nothing I can do about that. People make judgement calls everyday that are not necessary based on any type of actual fact. I prefer the freedom of layout and creativity I gety on my own site than that i can get on the forum.
    Okay, first off, I'm pretty sure linking to your own commercial interests is a violation of the PWE forums' Terms of Service. You're basically taking out free advertising space.

    Second, so you don't like the forum layout. I don't either, so I can empathize. But I want people to read my work, so I suck it up and post it here anyway. If you want people to be able to read what you're writing without worrying about getting sucked into a multilevel marketing scheme or catching a virus, (very real concerns when someone spams a url like yours) post it in the forums like everyone else.

    I didn't know what mary sue was before i looked it up and really I fail to see the problem with it . As one site pointed out Captain Kirk was a "mary sue" type character and arguably the best Captain ( I know others will disagree with that . )Kirk Sisko Picard Janeway Archer

    see first and third comment. Also this comment sounds like the people who complain about all the canon and technical aspects that are "wrong" in the game. Its fantasy not everything has to be realistic.
    We're trekkies. Complaining about canon and technicalities is what we do.

    If you want to write implausible character and have fun with it, that's fine, but if you're sharing that character with more serious writers you need to brace for criticism.

    And if you want your stories to be read, then you need to write engaging characters that your readers will actually care about.



    A final note on grammar: If you don't care enough about your writing to make it read any better than a third-grade English paper, than why should anyone else care about it either? Nobody's looking for a perfectly-edited tome of eloquent prose, but proper sentence structure, punctuation, capitalization, and judicious use of paragraph breaks are your first step towards winning over your reader.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
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