Apparently someone in your chain of command feels that I would better serve my position as a Starfleet Liason if I was to wear something that looks like it came from Ancient Egypt... or something the Orions would wear.
Apparently someone in your chain of command feels that I would better serve my position as a Starfleet Liason if I was to wear something that looks like it came from Ancient Egypt... or something the Orions would wear.
Wish I could, but I just had some random minion give this to me... and I'm not familiar with your personnel. Maybe you can find something that I'm missing.
*Offers the PADD*
Wish I could, but I just had some random minion give this to me... and I'm not familiar with your personnel. Maybe you can find something that I'm missing.
*Offers the PADD*
Sure, I...uh...
Wow. Yes. Skimpy is one word for this...
OK. Office review time. MINIONS!!! GET IN HERE!!!!!
Now. Underlings. I am dissapoint. Very dissapoint.
*shows PADD*
This is not professional. May I remind you of Rule 207 on the Evil Overlord List?
Employees will have conjugal visit trailers which they may use provided they call in a replacement and sign out on the timesheet. Given this, anyone caught making out in a closet while leaving their station unmonitored will be shot.
Or its corollary, Rule 207.5?
Passing around manipulated images of personnel and/or important friendly ambassadors will be severely punished
Furthermore, Ba'al, Incorporated (AKA the Glorious Regime, Hail Ba'al!) has a strict policy of "Business Before Pleasure (tm)". If you want to look at swimsuit pics or creepier stuff, do it on your own time.
I'm a Starfleet Captain, but I do plan on investigating. I'll be sure to have Quantum Torpedoes loaded and ready in case this cult turns out to be a threat...
*Checks a PADD*
They got Tiberium enhanced nukes? Scratch that. They're a threat.
they got tiberium nukes? answer them with thalaron-salted quantums
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
Now. Underlings. I am dissapoint. Very dissapoint.
*shows PADD*
This is not professional. May I remind you of Rule 207 on the Evil Overlord List?
Or its corollary, Rule 207.5?
Furthermore, Ba'al, Incorporated (AKA the Glorious Regime, Hail Ba'al!) has a strict policy of "Business Before Pleasure (tm)". If you want to look at swimsuit pics or creepier stuff, do it on your own time.
Hail Ba'al!
I am pleased to report that the Office of the Minister of Transportation / Administrator of Cosmic Smitings (I had room leftover on the business cards, and plenty of rockets, so I typed that second part in) has had no such issues.
Thanks in no small part to the dozens of Invader helicopter camera drones I've deployed throughout the office complex.
Hail Hydra!
... I mean Ba'al. Hail Ba'al.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though. JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
Why, Sovereign Ba'al, of course! I arranged some of the cushiness and most of the posts, but it all comes from the Supreme System Lord.
Hail Ba'al!
oh, i already knew who it was...i just love listening to the grandiose, sycophantic prattling about him from his grand vizier...makes for good entertainment
now i have a delivery of 'purifiers' here (for dealing with those stubborn, deeply-entrenched rebels and traitors). where do you want them?
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
oh, i already knew who it was...i just love listening to the grandiose, sycophantic prattling about him from his grand vizier...makes for good entertainment
now i have a delivery of 'purifiers' here (for dealing with those stubborn, deeply-entrenched rebels and traitors). where do you want them?
Send 'em to Darth Kuntel. I have to go watch "Maleficent" again. Apparently First Prime Teal'c enjoys it.
And Sovereign Ba'al has made the new X-Men movie required watching for all Minions of Ba'al (tm). Something about it being disturbingly realistic in its temporal shenanigans?
Send 'em to Darth Kuntel. I have to go watch "Maleficent" again. Apparently First Prime Teal'c enjoys it.
And Sovereign Ba'al has made the new X-Men movie required watching for all Minions of Ba'al (tm). Something about it being disturbingly realistic in its temporal shenanigans?
Hail Ba'al!
ba'al's first prime has good taste...i've heard nothing but good things about maleficent, despite not having seen it myself
hail ba'al *places a clenched paw over his heart, then wanders off to direct the offloading of his tribute*
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
ba'al's first prime has good taste...i've heard nothing but good things about maleficent, despite not having seen it myself
hail ba'al *places a clenched paw over his heart, then wanders off to direct the offloading of his tribute*
Yeah, he's got good taste, but...
Seriously. Man gets COMPLETELY obsessed with Star Wars, then I show him TNG and he can't get enough of Picard, Data, and Worf, then it's "Captain Planet", of all things, and now Maleficent...
At least it's an awesome movie, and Angelina Jolie's on freaking fire (metaphorically speaking) in it.
Right. Movie, then admin work. A Grand Vizier's work is never done...
The Glorious Regime of Supreme System Lord Ba'al: Now accepting applications!
Hey there, citizen! Ever wonder what the pretentiously-titled Ministers and Secretaries live like? Ever dream of having a pleasure palace and a bunch of concubines? Think you have what it takes to serve Ba'al?
Well now you can!
For thirteen days only, the Glorious Regime of Sovereign Ba'al, Supreme System Lord of all worlds, is accepting applications for high-level ministry and secretarial positions! Ever want a piece of the action? Ever dream of having a Nepotism Quota to fill, or a bunch of minions to order around, or your very own slave army? Now's your chance!
Please send all applications and resumes to Grand Vizier worffan101, in this thread. We hope to see your face among the new kids in the office next month!
Goatees preferred, willingness to wear black vampire capes and/or Maleficent dresses a must.
now all we need is a guy with the forum name Sovereign Ba'al, avatar a picture of ba'al, and signature filled with ba'al related stuff to show up in this thread acting like ba'al for this madness to really take off
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch." "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Passion and Serenity are one.
I gain power by understanding both.
In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
The Force is united within me.
All official employees must wear official totally-not-evil-at-all garments while on the job.
Can we get a badge that says that?
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though. JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
I would like to assure everyone that his goatee-essness' loyal servant on the honourable, almost totally uninhabitable frozen wasteland of Greenland has not lost his marbles and started executing his subjects.
*Screams can be heard in the distance.*
We're having a class in teaching the Jaffa to do a Wilhelm scream. True story.
Hey, the place is a barely inhabited frozen wasteland! There's not much to do!
Anyone wanna trade the British Isles for an arsenal of naquadah-enhanced nuclear missiles?
Comments
For yourself? Or a concubine, or what?
Go through me first, everything undetermined and all the stuff nobody wants to touch inevitably goes through me...
Hail Ba'al!
Tell me who and I'll have their head.
Hail Ba'al!
*Offers the PADD*
Sure, I...uh...
Wow. Yes. Skimpy is one word for this...
OK. Office review time. MINIONS!!! GET IN HERE!!!!!
Hail Ba'al!
Yeah... uh... been there before. Not very fun, really. The powered ones put up a fight, but when it comes to the regular people, there's no challenge.
Hmm. One question. Do we own it completely yet? I don't have time to look it up in the database.
Not yet. Still in negotiations with the various heads of state, and that half-Ascended kid with the tattoos.
Hail Ba'al!
(OOC: Have you read that fic? I know the guy who wrote it distantly, and that is his regular level of writing quality)
OOC: I read a little. The writes awesomely. I will have to read the rest.
Tattoo kid might be persuaded... Okay, I have a mission!
*Leaves.*
No, not you...
Get me my underlings. Everyone in the OOTGV (Office Of The Grand Vizier), NOW.
Hail Ba'al!
*shows PADD*
This is not professional. May I remind you of Rule 207 on the Evil Overlord List? Or its corollary, Rule 207.5? Furthermore, Ba'al, Incorporated (AKA the Glorious Regime, Hail Ba'al!) has a strict policy of "Business Before Pleasure (tm)". If you want to look at swimsuit pics or creepier stuff, do it on your own time.
Hail Ba'al!
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
I am pleased to report that the Office of the Minister of Transportation / Administrator of Cosmic Smitings (I had room leftover on the business cards, and plenty of rockets, so I typed that second part in) has had no such issues.
Thanks in no small part to the dozens of Invader helicopter camera drones I've deployed throughout the office complex.
Hail Hydra!
... I mean Ba'al. Hail Ba'al.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I'm seeing a pattern here...
*Looks at the massive arsenal of missiles behind him.*
Oh, don't mind that. Just enhancing my arsenal of nuclear warheads with naquadah.
And then, I shall take over the world! HAHAHAHAHA!
...
Wait, is this still on?
Oh... well... um...
HAIL BA'AL!
*Kills transmission.*
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Or can I take this Ba'al mask off yet?
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
Darth Kuntel, I think it's time for another round of loyalty tests and reminding people of who exactly gave them those cushy posts and free dental.
Hail Ba'al!
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
...
Why, Sovereign Ba'al, of course! I arranged some of the cushiness and most of the posts, but it all comes from the Supreme System Lord.
Hail Ba'al!
now i have a delivery of 'purifiers' here (for dealing with those stubborn, deeply-entrenched rebels and traitors). where do you want them?
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Send 'em to Darth Kuntel. I have to go watch "Maleficent" again. Apparently First Prime Teal'c enjoys it.
And Sovereign Ba'al has made the new X-Men movie required watching for all Minions of Ba'al (tm). Something about it being disturbingly realistic in its temporal shenanigans?
Hail Ba'al!
hail ba'al *places a clenched paw over his heart, then wanders off to direct the offloading of his tribute*
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
Yeah, he's got good taste, but...
Seriously. Man gets COMPLETELY obsessed with Star Wars, then I show him TNG and he can't get enough of Picard, Data, and Worf, then it's "Captain Planet", of all things, and now Maleficent...
At least it's an awesome movie, and Angelina Jolie's on freaking fire (metaphorically speaking) in it.
Right. Movie, then admin work. A Grand Vizier's work is never done...
Hail Ba'al!
Hey there, citizen! Ever wonder what the pretentiously-titled Ministers and Secretaries live like? Ever dream of having a pleasure palace and a bunch of concubines? Think you have what it takes to serve Ba'al?
Well now you can!
For thirteen days only, the Glorious Regime of Sovereign Ba'al, Supreme System Lord of all worlds, is accepting applications for high-level ministry and secretarial positions! Ever want a piece of the action? Ever dream of having a Nepotism Quota to fill, or a bunch of minions to order around, or your very own slave army? Now's your chance!
Please send all applications and resumes to Grand Vizier worffan101, in this thread. We hope to see your face among the new kids in the office next month!
Goatees preferred, willingness to wear black vampire capes and/or Maleficent dresses a must.
Hail Ba'al!
#LegalizeAwoo
A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"
"It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
"We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
That's technically permissible. All official employees must wear official totally-not-evil-at-all garments while on the job.
Hail Ba'al!
Can we get a badge that says that?
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
*Screams can be heard in the distance.*
We're having a class in teaching the Jaffa to do a Wilhelm scream. True story.
Hey, the place is a barely inhabited frozen wasteland! There's not much to do!
Anyone wanna trade the British Isles for an arsenal of naquadah-enhanced nuclear missiles?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood