And equally, the detail is not always necessary... Sure, Mayer had a nightmare about walking in on a cadet getting r*ped, but the actual details... no way that was getting written... Same as when I wrote the flash of T'Reya's abuse for the Betazoid. Sure, it was pretty obvious what Scolak actually did to her, but I didn't have to actually go into anatomical detail about it... For me, that's where the line gets drawn between what would be say shown in an 18 certificate movie, and what would only be shown in TRIBBLE, and this forum isn't the forum for the latter, IMHO... All the time Enterprise was prepared to degrade Jolene Blalok by making her strip onscreen however, I figure the written word can equally delve into 'adult themes and emotions' (as the TV announcement warns of the Next Generation...)
Agreed, with all of this.
Sometimes, you just imply or state that something happened without going into detail about it.
That just sounds like something I wouldn't even want to read on multiple levels...
Yeah, she doesn't go into gory details, but she writes out pretty clearly what the guy does, and you can deduce what she doesn't state from the previously-established rules of the universe.
The finale was good, though. Kel (the protagonist) doesn't waste time with fancy deaths or witty quips, she just decapitates the motherf*cker and leaves his body to be desecrated by Stormwings (long story).
The guy's a great villain, but not one I'd write myself.
Yeah, she doesn't go into gory details, but she writes out pretty clearly what the guy does, and you can deduce what she doesn't state from the previously-established rules of the universe.
The finale was good, though. Kel (the protagonist) doesn't waste time with fancy deaths or witty quips, she just decapitates the motherf*cker and leaves his body to be desecrated by Stormwings (long story).
The guy's a great villain, but not one I'd write myself.
Sounds like a good writer, but definitely not what I'd pick up to read myself :cool:
I won't be writing this challenge--in part because Alyosha is refusing to share his nightmares. Berat's are already written in another forum, and Redmond's are being written already and slated to appear in a later story.
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I'm hoping I can get this in in time. The story's only coming in fits and starts, although I do have Grunt's nightmare written out (it features the Smiling Friend, the Ferengi equivalent of the Boogeyman - according to the children's tales, the Smiling Friend smiles, offers you deals too good to be true, and the moment you accept, bares his fangs and bites your ears off). On the plus side, I have some idea where I'm going with it, and just have to work out why solving the problem's going to be an issue for Mycroft and Turing.
On an unrelated note, I'm bored. I think that I'm going to go write a LC 39 redux in the LC 60 thread, in which Three will prove that genetically-engineered living superweapons give exactly zero f*cks for medical ethics.
I'm hoping I can get this in in time. The story's only coming in fits and starts, although I do have Grunt's nightmare written out (it features the Smiling Friend, the Ferengi equivalent of the Boogeyman - according to the children's tales, the Smiling Friend smiles, offers you deals too good to be true, and the moment you accept, bares his fangs and bites your ears off). On the plus side, I have some idea where I'm going with it, and just have to work out why solving the problem's going to be an issue for Mycroft and Turing.
I love the sound of the Smiling Friend, I can't wait to read Grunt's nightmares :cool:
I was going to do an ensemble piece set on the sentinel, but that plot isn't coming together. Its just a bunch of things being random. So instead, it will be a character piece focussing on one of my supporting characters. Time for Jenna to get a real spotlight.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
I was going to do an ensemble piece set on the sentinel, but that plot isn't coming together. Its just a bunch of things being random. So instead, it will be a character piece focussing on one of my supporting characters. Time for Jenna to get a real spotlight.
Ok, still liked it, the only thing I saw, not to be nit picky, but shouldn't functioning be function, in the very last couple of sentences?
Indeed it should, thanks for the catch :cool: Ael and her crew aren't the only ones running on empty at the moment What did you feel about the ending? A bit less 'ship oversteps the mark' and more 'ship loves her crew'?
Indeed it should, thanks for the catch :cool: Ael and her crew aren't the only ones running on empty at the moment What did you feel about the ending? A bit less 'ship oversteps the mark' and more 'ship loves her crew'?
Yeah, it dd seem so. Especially since they were cuckoo/asleep by that point...
But yeah, it definitely was a more, <Insert Word Here> ending, I liked it.
Yeah, it dd seem so. Especially since they were cuckoo/asleep by that point...
But yeah, it definitely was a more, <Insert Word Here> ending, I liked it.
Agreed. I prefer the re-write, a lot. It's more solidly "dark thriller creepy" rather than borderline squick. Also, the ending is much better now. :cool:
Anyone other than marcusdkane and aten66 have thoughts on mine?
Yeah, it dd seem so. Especially since they were cuckoo/asleep by that point...
But yeah, it definitely was a more, <Insert Word Here> ending, I liked it.
Excellent, that was what I'd originally intended, but missed in my haste to post... Thanks :cool:
I went with my favourite hallucination episode trope. Really hope it works.
Was originally going for something longer, but that just wouldn't work out, and this way I get to introduce some minor characters, yay!
I am still disturbed by the fact that Claire did what she did unauthorized, but I definitely think you added more urgency and ambiguity to the situation in your new edit. I also think moving the order of the briefing scenes was a helpful touch, too. From your stated objectives, I would say this is closer in line with them.
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I went with my favourite halluciantion episode trope. Really hope it works.
Was originally going for something longer, but that just wouldn't work out, and this way I get to introduce some minor characters, yay!
Admiral D'trel: Linda Hamilton, in Romulan makeup and ears.
First Omek'ti'kallan: Chiwetel Ejiofor in Jem'Hadar makeup.
Subcommander Daysnur: Alan Tudyk in heavy makeup.
Subcommander Jak: John Barrowman in heavy makeup.
Adani (in D'trel's dream): Morena Baccarin in Romulan makeup and ears.
I went with my favourite halluciantion episode trope. Really hope it works.
Was originally going for something longer, but that just wouldn't work out, and this way I get to introduce some minor characters, yay!
I am still disturbed by the fact that Claire did what she did unauthorized, but I definitely think you added more urgency and ambiguity to the situation in your new edit. I also think moving the order of the briefing scenes was a helpful touch, too. From your stated objectives, I would say this is closer in line with them.
Thanks :cool:
On the note of Claire's authorisation though...
As a ship-wide AI, she is the ship's operating system (Computer Library Access Information Retrieval Engram) As such, she not only governs all inboard systems, but is also the EMH program. A starship's CMO outranks the CO in medical issues, and can have them removed from duty if need be... With the ship's CMO incapacitated, she would inherit his responsibilities... With Ael not just 'asleep', but incapacitated by fatigue, she defaults to being an Emergency Command Holographic program with the authority and the capacity to act as she chooses... Rendering the crew medically unconscious would ensure her authority was not superseded by a delirious crew member, but was also to relieve their suffering from the nightmares, so part of her programming to take the necessary actions to protect the crew from harm
I can see why it would still be disturbing, but equally, hopefully now clearer that she was acting through benevolence, rather than sinister motives
I think so...though personally I would never allow such an entity aboard a starship--especially since I am still convinced that there were alternate solutions.
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I think so...though personally I would never allow such an entity aboard a starship--especially since I am still convinced that there were alternate solutions.
There were, but to have had Ael follow Captain Picard's solution too closely would have been pretty weak In this instance, the few conscious crew members were barely conscious, and probably not even aware if they were awake or asleep, so she really was doing them a favour
I'm currently working on an entry for this. I was inspired by the premise. I just hope that I finish it in time and no one else has the same idea I came up with. I'm purposely not reading any entries before mine is done so I don't accidentally "borrow" any ideas.
On the one hand, it was nicely written -- Tight, focussed, foreboding...
On the other -- I want to know what they experienced
That's what I was going for Just read yours, those were some pretty realistic nightmares! Almost makes me wish I'd gone all out with some murky pasts, too... Very abrupt ending, but I guess that had to be done.
Comments
Sometimes, you just imply or state that something happened without going into detail about it. Yeah, she doesn't go into gory details, but she writes out pretty clearly what the guy does, and you can deduce what she doesn't state from the previously-established rules of the universe.
The finale was good, though. Kel (the protagonist) doesn't waste time with fancy deaths or witty quips, she just decapitates the motherf*cker and leaves his body to be desecrated by Stormwings (long story).
The guy's a great villain, but not one I'd write myself.
Exactly :cool:
Sounds like a good writer, but definitely not what I'd pick up to read myself :cool:
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On an unrelated note, I'm bored. I think that I'm going to go write a LC 39 redux in the LC 60 thread, in which Three will prove that genetically-engineered living superweapons give exactly zero f*cks for medical ethics.
I love the sound of the Smiling Friend, I can't wait to read Grunt's nightmares :cool:
Cagalli's past rears its head in the alpha quadrant :O
I look forward to criticism, as it is the best way to improve, imo.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Not bad. I liked it. Nothing specific really jumped out at me, but it was a fun read.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Additional Cast:
Will Mayer - Milo Ventimiglia
Heath Fletcher - Simon Baker
Todd Mitchell - Thomas Dekker
Givi Teva - Phoebe Tonkin
Looking forward to it :cool:
Ok, still liked it, the only thing I saw, not to be nit picky, but shouldn't functioning be function, in the very last couple of sentences?
Indeed it should, thanks for the catch :cool: Ael and her crew aren't the only ones running on empty at the moment
Yeah, it dd seem so. Especially since they were cuckoo/asleep by that point...
But yeah, it definitely was a more, <Insert Word Here> ending, I liked it.
Agreed. I prefer the re-write, a lot. It's more solidly "dark thriller creepy" rather than borderline squick. Also, the ending is much better now. :cool:
Anyone other than marcusdkane and aten66 have thoughts on mine?
Not bad. The paragraphs are spaced a little oddly, but I'm enjoying it so far. Do continue! :cool:
Fixed spacing, hope the paragraphs are still understandable!
Still writing the second part, which includes a couple more nightmares...
Now I just have to figure out how to end it.
Ooh, can't wait!
Excellent, that was what I'd originally intended, but missed in my haste to post... Thanks :cool:
Looking good so far :cool: From what I've read, Rihan is the language, Rihannsu are the people, but otherwise good stuff :cool:
Was originally going for something longer, but that just wouldn't work out, and this way I get to introduce some minor characters, yay!
Everyone's faces:
Admiral Joanne Roslyn
Ensign Kamryn Banks
Lieutenant jr grade Elizabeth Harper
Doctor Siluur
Ensign Yuliana Patel (but with longer hair)
Lieutenant Ilum Aino
very looking forward to reading everyone else's entries, I like a good scary story
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Not bad. Confusing at times, but VERY spooky ending.
What do you think of mine?
Admiral D'trel: Linda Hamilton, in Romulan makeup and ears.
First Omek'ti'kallan: Chiwetel Ejiofor in Jem'Hadar makeup.
Subcommander Daysnur: Alan Tudyk in heavy makeup.
Subcommander Jak: John Barrowman in heavy makeup.
Adani (in D'trel's dream): Morena Baccarin in Romulan makeup and ears.
Oooooohhh, I'm conflicted about this one... :P
On the one hand, it was nicely written -- Tight, focussed, foreboding...
On the other -- I want to know what they experienced
Thanks :cool:
On the note of Claire's authorisation though...
As a ship-wide AI, she is the ship's operating system (Computer Library Access Information Retrieval Engram) As such, she not only governs all inboard systems, but is also the EMH program. A starship's CMO outranks the CO in medical issues, and can have them removed from duty if need be... With the ship's CMO incapacitated, she would inherit his responsibilities... With Ael not just 'asleep', but incapacitated by fatigue, she defaults to being an Emergency Command Holographic program with the authority and the capacity to act as she chooses... Rendering the crew medically unconscious would ensure her authority was not superseded by a delirious crew member, but was also to relieve their suffering from the nightmares, so part of her programming to take the necessary actions to protect the crew from harm
I can see why it would still be disturbing, but equally, hopefully now clearer that she was acting through benevolence, rather than sinister motives
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There were, but to have had Ael follow Captain Picard's solution too closely would have been pretty weak
I'm currently working on an entry for this. I was inspired by the premise. I just hope that I finish it in time and no one else has the same idea I came up with. I'm purposely not reading any entries before mine is done so I don't accidentally "borrow" any ideas.
Heh. If I spooked you, my job here is done
Really enjoyed enjoyed reading yours! Your crew is clearly better at getting out of sticky situations than mine...
That's what I was going for