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T'was the Night Before Christmas (KDF)
morden613
Member Posts: 366 Arc User
(stolen from Reddit)
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the sectors
Klingons were patrolling, their ships on attack vectors
Torpedoes were loaded into the tubes with care
In the hopes that Klingon honor could be earned everywhere
Our warriors were sleeping, in bunks aft and fore
While visions of Sto'vo'kor persist as they snore
The commander's on duty, his first is back aft
He's cursing the engine room staff, the petaQ
When o'er the subspace frequencies suddenly came chatter
I went over to Tactical to see what was the matter
A word to the commander to join me on the bridge
He cursed at me sharply as he furrowed his brow ridge.
Amid moons and planetoids in a system ahead
A single contact was showing, scanners marking it red
The sensors locked on, and on main viewer did appear
A miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
The translator was on, the computers were quick
They identified the contact as the Earther "Saint Nick"
Cruising at impulse, all channels were open
And he shouted in Terran, no Klingon was spoken.
"Now Kahless! Now Kruge! Now Koloth and Martok!
Oh, Kor, oh Kang, oh Chang and Gorkon!
Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded
I have presents to deliver, none to be hoarded."
My commander and I exchanged confused glances
About this anomaly and his unusual advances
And suddenly the ship shook and bucked like a raptor
We weren't going anywhere, he'd locked on with a tractor.
And then with a twinkling and swirling of light
A red-suited Terran materialized right into our sight.
As I drew my bat'leth and prepared to do battle
The Terran looked up; his courage, unrattled.
He was clad in a space suit, as red as could be
And its surface all scored with carbon debris
He laid a sack of items down onto our deck
He looked as a scavenger, just come from a wreck.
His expression undaunted, his bearing unfailing
His bulk was enormous, but his manner unthreatening
He smiled at the bridge crew, their hands on their swords
And he was as least big around as General Koord.
His sack held all manner of devices and treasures
Our ship could be upgraded with technology immeasured!
While his girth was broad and his features unavailing
This Terran with gifts was not fit for jailing.
He was an obese petaQ, a harmless old Terran
And we laughed at the human, for no threat was he bearing
Killing him would give no honor, no songs to be sung
He was worthless to me as a hold of targ dung.
He spoke not to us, but tossed us his sack
Our disruptors were drawn in case he attacked
And laying a finger upon a badge on his chest
He beamed off our bridge, amid howls of protest.
Our sensor grids showed something curious indeed
His tractor was gone, as was he, to warp speed
His last message on subspace, though garbled, was
"QISmaS botlvjaj 'ej DIS chu'botlvjaj!"
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the sectors
Klingons were patrolling, their ships on attack vectors
Torpedoes were loaded into the tubes with care
In the hopes that Klingon honor could be earned everywhere
Our warriors were sleeping, in bunks aft and fore
While visions of Sto'vo'kor persist as they snore
The commander's on duty, his first is back aft
He's cursing the engine room staff, the petaQ
When o'er the subspace frequencies suddenly came chatter
I went over to Tactical to see what was the matter
A word to the commander to join me on the bridge
He cursed at me sharply as he furrowed his brow ridge.
Amid moons and planetoids in a system ahead
A single contact was showing, scanners marking it red
The sensors locked on, and on main viewer did appear
A miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
The translator was on, the computers were quick
They identified the contact as the Earther "Saint Nick"
Cruising at impulse, all channels were open
And he shouted in Terran, no Klingon was spoken.
"Now Kahless! Now Kruge! Now Koloth and Martok!
Oh, Kor, oh Kang, oh Chang and Gorkon!
Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded
I have presents to deliver, none to be hoarded."
My commander and I exchanged confused glances
About this anomaly and his unusual advances
And suddenly the ship shook and bucked like a raptor
We weren't going anywhere, he'd locked on with a tractor.
And then with a twinkling and swirling of light
A red-suited Terran materialized right into our sight.
As I drew my bat'leth and prepared to do battle
The Terran looked up; his courage, unrattled.
He was clad in a space suit, as red as could be
And its surface all scored with carbon debris
He laid a sack of items down onto our deck
He looked as a scavenger, just come from a wreck.
His expression undaunted, his bearing unfailing
His bulk was enormous, but his manner unthreatening
He smiled at the bridge crew, their hands on their swords
And he was as least big around as General Koord.
His sack held all manner of devices and treasures
Our ship could be upgraded with technology immeasured!
While his girth was broad and his features unavailing
This Terran with gifts was not fit for jailing.
He was an obese petaQ, a harmless old Terran
And we laughed at the human, for no threat was he bearing
Killing him would give no honor, no songs to be sung
He was worthless to me as a hold of targ dung.
He spoke not to us, but tossed us his sack
Our disruptors were drawn in case he attacked
And laying a finger upon a badge on his chest
He beamed off our bridge, amid howls of protest.
Our sensor grids showed something curious indeed
His tractor was gone, as was he, to warp speed
His last message on subspace, though garbled, was
"QISmaS botlvjaj 'ej DIS chu'botlvjaj!"
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
It reminds me of that Christmas Foundry mission, the one based on A Christmas Carol but in Klingon. Wonder if its still live, best time to play through it again.
A Klingon Honor Carol by Soriedem
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Seasons Greetings from the Warriors at the Gates of Sto?vo?kor.
Twas the Night Before Battle
Twas the night before battle, when all through our house
Not a petaQ was stirring, not even that louse;
Our gauntlets were hung in the armory with care,
In the hopes that Warrior Kahless soon would be there;
Our soldiers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Orion girls danced in their heads;
My Lady in skivies, and I in my boots;
Had just settled down for the night in our roost.
When out on the battlement rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my berth to see what?s the matter.
Away to the armory I made a wild dash,
Tore down the doors and pulled out my axe.
The crest of the moon of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of victims to slash just below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the mightest bat?leth I?d seen in a year.
With an old silvery blade, so lively and slick,
I knew in a moment I must slay St. Nick.
More rapid than daggers and sharper than blades,
I knew in an instant who was my prey.
?Now, pounce him! now, trounce him, now kill him with flair!
On, Kahless! my bat?leth will maim him I swear!
use mek?leths for victory will be such a ball,
Now slash away slash away slash away all!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
R.I.P
/10char