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dodxmolitor
Member Posts: 8 Arc User
it took me a while to make.. let me know your thoughts, any improvements, likes, dislikes or Additions to be made?
http://youtu.be/BIh7tCNw8Kc
http://youtu.be/BIh7tCNw8Kc
Level 60 Fleet Admiral Alien (KAZON) Male
"Whoever Said The Human Race was Logical?"
"Whoever Said The Human Race was Logical?"
Post edited by dodxmolitor on
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Praetor of the -RTS- Romulan Tal Shiar fleet!
"Whoever Said The Human Race was Logical?"
In the opening shots, you're spending a lot of time moving the camera around to highlight the ship when it's supposed to be diving into battle. I would pick one or two perspectives and shorten the distance to engagement.
At around 0:50, the camera is in too close to the aft of the ship. I would pull that back.
At about 1:15, you're lingering a bit too long on the enemy ship. I would cut it at the current 1:20. Five seconds is enough.
Again after that, we're back to a too-close view of the ship. You really need to pull that back or shoot from a different perspective.
1:45 is where we see the ship actually starting to close in. I would suggest getting to this point sooner. If you follow my other suggestions, you could probably shave that down to close to a minute in from the start. This is supposed to be a tense action scene. Lingering on camera shots is going to defuse that feeling of tension.
2:00, again too close aft. I have a feeling that you're trying to get as close to a first-person view as you can, but it just doesn't look right.
One way to do it would be a tight focus on the fore view of the ship as it's firing and then cut to a tight focus on the shots hitting the enemy.
Starting at 2:35, you're lingering too much on the captain and shifting perspective too much. You should cut some of that.
3:28, that camera shake doesn't look right. It looks like you just wiggled the mouse back and forth. If you made the camera movement tighter, I think you'd get the effect you want. I will freely admit that may not be easy. The best way might be to take a wide shot and then in the editing stage you could tighten the focus and insert the shake that way, but I don't know if you have what you'd need to do that.
The shake at 3:30 was better.
At this point I'm going to comment that we can't see Titus' face at all in these shots. Not sure how you'd fix that, but it looks like "Cousin It" is commanding. Maybe you need to lighten his skin tone for the camera?
I have no comment about anything else. It was a good scene and would have been much more dramatic if you had shortened the screen time between transitions a bit. I appreciate the effort that went into it.
Link: How to PM - Twitter @STOMod_Bluegeek
good job. keep it up.
Praetor of the -RTS- Romulan Tal Shiar fleet!
He did ask for feedback. I did say I appreciated it. But as a viewer there were elements pulling me out of the mood and I am offering suggestions to make it feel more dramatic.
That was nicer? There's no shame in being an amateur... Experts have to start somewhere. Harsh comments are not welcome on the forums. Keep your feedback constructive.
Link: How to PM - Twitter @STOMod_Bluegeek
Granted he should take negative criticism with a grain of salt meaning don't pay it no mind, but instead let it give you inspiration to strive harder at what you were initially going for. Keep at it, and all will be fine so don't let my 2 cents comment keep you from working to get better at what you were going for.
Praetor of the -RTS- Romulan Tal Shiar fleet!