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Personal Log: Azera Xi

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  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    That makes sense, and it's even a little similar to her attitude on romance (saying no more, it'd mean spoilers ;)). It's also how I incidentally thought Odo should have been portrayed, and why his tendency to fall in love with humanoid woman (and I forgot until reading Memory Alpha that Kira wasn't his first relationship!) seemed so strange.

    It seems really weird to me too, though I have heard a few theories that somehow they evolved from humanoids. (Which may even explain why the Changelings default to an appearance similar to the ancient humanoids from "The Chase." ;) )

    Alyosha doesn't have that common heritage or genetics; I put the humanoid-like form of the Devidians down to convergent evolution rather than seeding.
    Azera's doing the same thing in that line: "they're like the bogeyman," she says as though referencing stories on Earth (which she is, to some extent - it's been two generations since Wolf-359, so there's plenty of time for children to be born and raised hearing about the Borg), but what she really means is that they're her bogeymen, and everything she's been afraid of ever since waking up.

    So Azera wouldn't have any memories of Wolf 359 or the cube in orbit of Earth? I guess I hadn't really taken in the fact that there is a generational difference between her and Alyosha; he was alive then and old enough to understand what was going on when his family was almost evacuated from Earth.
    True, and it'd be interesting if part of that also comes from how alien we seem to them, and how we inhabit a realm set apart from their own. Feeding on humanoids may seem a lot like fishing to them, dipping into an uninhabitable region to snare the creatures dwelling within for food, and hold just as much moral significance to them as it does to most of us.

    That could certainly increase that impression, though it did seem to me that the Devidians had some innate ability to move back and forth in phase, which is also how I justify Alyosha staying in human form and phase for such extended periods. (He is superior at it than the normal Devidian, though, due to extensive exercise of the ability.)
    I'd certainly be interested in reading this story, if you're ever inspired to write it! I might give it a try it too, though there's a few stories to be writtten beforehand (and a big, big one's coming up soon - she's at level 23 now, and at level 30 she's going to learn the truth), but I'd trust your interpretation of her character if you find the free time and inspiration to tackle it someday. :)

    It could also be interesting for us to alternate perspectives, and write it as a collaborative project. :)
    That'd lend itself to a neat psychic impression too: that with the flashes of blue comes a slight echoing effect (his perception of their conversation overlapping hers), almost giving a sense of being underwater to her.

    That could well be...and yeah, very interesting. I wonder if she would really recognize that effect as being at all like what she's encountered with Devidians before, or only after it's revealed to her what he is?
    I'd imagine she'd get drawn into it, puzzled and increasingly haunted by a sense of deja vu and vague images and thoughts that she should know about this, that it's reminding her of something... and she'd be left at the end shaken, confused but respectful of how much it affected her. At the time, she'd give a nervous "that was really interesting, but one listen is enough for me," but it'd later become a part of her music collection once she's fully aware of her origin and has become comfortable with it.

    Interesting! Something must definitely change, if her opinion on it would change to that extent.

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  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    So Azera wouldn't have any memories of Wolf 359 or the cube in orbit of Earth? I guess I hadn't really taken in the fact that there is a generational difference between her and Alyosha; he was alive then and old enough to understand what was going on when his family was almost evacuated from Earth.

    It keeps throwing me off too, how far removed 2409 really is from the events of any of the series. Not only does she not remember those things, she only arrived right as the new Klingon war was beginning and grew to adulthood through it. That's actually making one chronological detail in a later story a little awkward. Not impossible, just awkward... I'll have to ponder it some more...
    It could also be interesting for us to alternate perspectives, and write it as a collaborative project. :)

    A flurry of stories are on their way, but once they settle down, that's not a bad idea. :)
    That could well be...and yeah, very interesting. I wonder if she would really recognize that effect as being at all like what she's encountered with Devidians before, or only after it's revealed to her what he is?

    On an unconscious level I'd say, which would be where the suspicion's coming from. Once she can assign a reason to it, and recognize that the feeling is precisely the same as being around the Devidians, then it becomes much easier to treat it rationally and set it aside, which is why his explanation would do a lot to relieve the tension.
    Interesting! Something must definitely change, if her opinion on it would change to that extent.

    Oh, things definitely change. But it'll be a long and winding road... ;)
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    Personal Log: "Days Gone By"
    Stardate 90847.20

    A little while ago I received a subspace message from the Romulan Ambassador at Earth Spacedock. We met during the promotion ceremony last month and she told me then that she might have some important information, and that she'd contact me again once she was certain it'd be of use. I had no idea what she meant by that, and with a Romulan ambassador, those aren't necessarily the sort of words you want to hear. But she wasn't kidding.

    She said my appearance and the conversation we'd had about my past reminded her of something, and she'd checked the records on New Romulus to verify the details. She talked about a man named Commander Solak, a hero of the Romulan Star Empire. He wasn't a Romulan himself, though. He was found as an amnesiac child in an escape pod of unknown design, and overcame their prejudices only after countless battles won through bravery and ruthless cunning. She sent me a picture of him from their archives.

    It's a copy of a photographic image, but it's clear enough. He's tall and pale, thin with ash blond hair cut short around his flattened ears and he has dark violet eyes. He looks like... he looks...

    I'm sorry, this is silly of me. I've been crying off and on ever since I looked at that picture, and just trying to say the words makes me start all over again. I can't even tell if they're happy tears or sad tears. It's just too much emotion, if that makes any sense.

    He looks like me. We're the same species.

    And this picture is over eight hundred years old.

    * * *

    The ship he arrived in was lost during the destruction of Romulus, but she'd seen it in a museum as a child and sent me a picture of it. It's the same kind of ship. It's exactly the same.

    In her own subtle way, the ambassador was amazingly tactful. She suggested that if we came from the same planet then his ship might have been pulled into the past by an unstable wormhole. She didn't mention the absolutely equal probability that my ship was the one that traveled through time. But the truth is, the odds of that happening to either one of us are almost infinitesimal.

    I don't think he was pulled back in time, or that I was sent into the future. I think we both left our world at the same time, for the same reason. He just happened to be found sooner.

    How many of us have there been? How long was I out there?
  • gazurtoidgazurtoid Member Posts: 423 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    P
    I'd better pause for now so I can feed Cho. That's the name of the tribble Ensign McMillan picked up at Drozana Station. I promised to watch her while Kaitlyn's attending the Gratitude Festival, and she's adorable. Oh, but she's sterile, so there's no harm in keeping her aboard. Though I'm a little worried about the five unclaimed tribbles we've found roaming the decks since then...
    Nice doffing reference. Little details like that are always good
    yjkZSeM.gif
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    A flurry of stories are on their way, but once they settle down, that's not a bad idea. :)

    Cool. :)
    On an unconscious level I'd say, which would be where the suspicion's coming from. Once she can assign a reason to it, and recognize that the feeling is precisely the same as being around the Devidians, then it becomes much easier to treat it rationally and set it aside, which is why his explanation would do a lot to relieve the tension.

    Especially since, if she focuses on him harder, she'll notice that the impressions of malicious intentions towards her are absent, that she might have noticed with the other Devidians.
    Oh, things definitely change. But it'll be a long and winding road... ;)

    It will be interesting to see how that happens--and it seems like this encounter with the Romulan ambassador is the first step.

    I don't think her tears are stupid or ridiculous, though, as she does. She's encountered a first connection to her past and to her people, and unlike for Alyosha, where there's nothing but mutual loathing between him and the rest of his species, there is undoubtedly something very precious there.

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  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    gazurtoid wrote: »
    Nice doffing reference. Little details like that are always good

    Thanks! :)
    gulberat wrote: »
    I don't think her tears are stupid or ridiculous, though, as she does. She's encountered a first connection to her past and to her people, and unlike for Alyosha, where there's nothing but mutual loathing between him and the rest of his species, there is undoubtedly something very precious there.

    Oh, I don't think so either, and you phrased it perfectly. She's very self-conscious and dismissive of her own problems, so she feels like they're silly, but she's just been hit hard with a tantalizing glimpse of her own people, and the sense of both not being alone and of being even more alone than before. This entry's actually convinced me that, though I'd like to keep the Borg's history as vague as the shows have, the story that reveals her origins really, really needs to be written. It's too much a part of her to just leave out, and she deserves to see, along with the reader, where she came from and who her people once were.
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    I'm glad you plan to post that story too. I think there can be multiple theories on where the Borg come from. I don't think it steps on anyone's toes any more thAn my theorizing about the Devidians does.

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  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,354 Arc User
    edited March 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    I think there can be multiple theories on where the Borg come from.
    "Where did the Borg come from?"

    "Offscreen."
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    jonsills wrote: »
    "Where did the Borg come from?"

    "Offscreen."

    They're sneaky that way. :)
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    Personal Log: "Fall Seven Times"
    Stardate 90881.91

    This is the first log I've recorded away from the Roanoke: I'm back at the research institute in Kyoto while the ship spends the next few weeks undergoing repairs, a refit and software upgrades. Well, I guess that's a little more diplomatic than telling the crew that Starfleet needs to make sure their captain's not crazy.

    Dr Shimizu's about the only doctor qualified to give me a psychiatric evaluation. I've never really thought about that before. If you try to diagnose a Ferengi by Vulcan standards, he'd seem psychotically manic. If you scored a Vulcan on a human test, she'd seem to be severely depressed. But how does anyone judge me? What's the baseline for my species? Should I be fearful, giddy, logical, angry? How did they see the world? How did they think? I mean, what would make them... why would they... how could anyone...

    Sorry, I'm just... I'm still thinking about stuff.

    At least I stopped having those nightmares. Dr Shimizu said they're not really my nightmares, they're residual telepathic impressions from the unicomplex. They felt real enough to me, but he said that they'd go away on their own, and I guess he was right.

    This is where I grew up. The Anthropological Research Institute taught me how to speak this world's languages, even while they were learning enough about my language to figure out my name from the stasis pod. Azera Xi. I remember the first morning Dr Shimizu greeted me by name. I thought he'd sneezed.

    I was a little like a lab mouse at first, taking so many cultural tests, playing all those behavioral study games again and again. Not that anybody treated me badly, it was just the opposite: Dr Shimizu has always been so kind and patient, and I was sort of like the staff's favorite pet. And they needed to keep me culturally isolated, so I'd have an easier time adjusting when they found my home.

    After the first year they had to accept that my scores didn't match any society on record, and that they'd need to enroll me in school here on Earth. That I wouldn't be going home after all.

    * * *

    I found a classified report in my Starfleet personnel file, the night I arrived in Kyoto. At first I thought the institute must have written it, and for a moment I was so angry at them. I thought they must have been hiding what they'd found from me. But it wasn't anyone here. It was written last year and classified by Starfleet Intelligence, higher than even most admirals.

    But I've had access to it all this time.

    The report details my arrival in the Alpha Quadrant twelve years ago, my life since then, my stasis pod's design... and it concludes that my people were Species 1. Starfleet figured it out, just a few weeks after I took command. It was written by Admiral Kane. He's gone now. I'll never be able to ask him why he didn't tell me. But I think he did try to tell me, the last time we talked...

    "Azera, have you ever wondered about what happened when you first encountered the Borg?"

    I remember that question perfectly, how my blood ran cold and I had to talk faster just to keep my voice from trembling. I didn't just tell him no, I did everything but shout it. Marcus Kane was the only admiral to call me "Azera," not "Captain" or "Azera Xi," but even he didn't usually send me subspace messages just to check up on me. He did that day, though, or at least that's how it'd seemed to me at the time. Now I realize he did have a reason. But I didn't want to hear it, and he was kind enough to not make me listen.

    Dr Shimizu says I just wasn't ready for it then, the way I am now. But I wasn't any more ready for it when the Borg took me: they just didn't care. Maybe if I'd let him finish, or looked at my personnel file, or listened to Ensign Koja... if I hadn't kept hiding from the answer, maybe finding out wouldn't have been so horrible.

    The conversation we had was one of the last messages Admiral Kane sent before his final mission. I wish I could talk to him one last time and tell him thank you for finding out the truth, for trying to tell me. And that I'm sorry I didn't want to listen.

    * * *

    "Fall seven times, stand up eight," that's what Emiri used to say. She was in my class during my first year in elementary school, when the doctors decided I needed a normal childhood more than a cultural quarantine. She taught me my very first Earth expression. Well Emiri, I will. I owe that to everyone they've hurt, everyone they've assimilated. I guess I'm the only one left now, so at least one of us is still trying to fight back... to make up for it...

    The Daimonji festival's in a few days. It's meant to guide the spirits of our ancestors back to the spirit world, as a way to say goodbye to them. I never thought about that part of it much. I just thought the fire on the mountains looked beautiful. I've never even written a gomaki, since my ancestors probably don't count. I don't know what they believed. Maybe I don't even want to know. But I'm going to write one for them this year. Wherever they are, wherever they believed they were going, I hope they've found peace.

    I'll have to replicate a new yukata; I left my old one on the ship, though it's been years since I've had a chance to wear it. My bike's still here, though. I went riding on it again this morning, to watch the sunrise over the city. It still doesn't steer very well, and the brakes hardly even work. I asked Dr Shimizu to promise they won't feed it back into the replicator or use it for parts. He says I'm being sentimental, but he said that with a smile and promised.

    I'm not really sure what coming home feels like. But if I had to guess, I'd say that it feels a little bit like being here.
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    Man...brought up in a lab...I didn't realize she and Alyosha had that in common, too! O_o

    Except in his case, there was no prior culture that they thought they needed to bring back. He was way too young--and it was obvious that was true. Figuring out his physiology and making sure they understood that...and for him to learn how to take on his human form so that he could interact with humans...took time. I think that while they never said it, Alyosha does know this to be true: they also waited to give him a home until they were sure he was old enough to have self control.

    Something tells me Dr. Shimizu and the Azerovs would have gotten along great, if they knew about each other.

    I really loved seeing Azera's reactions to the terrible information she has had to take in, and what she thought of Admiral Kane's way of handling it. Has her crew figured it out? How have they handled it?

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  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    Such a nice entry, a really nice rest, in the sage :) I'm sure if Marcus could reply to Azera's thanks, he would just smile from behind a PADD and say "No worries..." :)
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    Man...brought up in a lab...I didn't realize she and Alyosha had that in common, too! O_o

    Except in his case, there was no prior culture that they thought they needed to bring back. He was way too young--and it was obvious that was true. Figuring out his physiology and making sure they understood that...and for him to learn how to take on his human form so that he could interact with humans...took time. I think that while they never said it, Alyosha does know this to be true: they also waited to give him a home until they were sure he was old enough to have self control.

    Something tells me Dr. Shimizu and the Azerovs would have gotten along great, if they knew about each other.

    I really loved seeing Azera's reactions to the terrible information she has had to take in, and what she thought of Admiral Kane's way of handling it. Has her crew figured it out? How have they handled it?

    Yep, it's a similarity that struck me while reading about Alyosha: they could probably swap quite a few stories about what it was like growing up as laboratory orphans in their separate corners of the world. :)

    And that is a good question! I'd say she briefed the rest of the bridge officers (along with Auslaz, who already knows) right before they left for the refit, though the rest of the crew doesn't know. There are good reasons why the news shouldn't leave the briefing room, but she'd want them to know as her friends why they had to risk their lives for her, and as her senior officers in case it somehow comes up again.
    Such a nice entry, a really nice rest, in the sage :-) I'm sure if Marcus could reply to Azera's thanks, he would just smile from behind a PADD and say "No worries..." :-)

    Thanks! That's a very fitting image for him... :)
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    Indeed on the similarity!

    I wonder how much they'd know of each other's cultures. It's funny...while they are two aliens, with one being VERY nonhumanoid, I think they would on some level relate to each other as Russian and Japanese.

    We have got to do this someday! :D

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  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    Thanks! That's a very fitting image for him... :-)
    :) I just remembered that he probably wouldn't actually smile, given his Vulcan training :D But he would definitely brush it off as no big deal :) I almost regret killing Marcus off, as it would have allowed him and Azera to have interacted more :)
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    :-) I just remembered that he probably wouldn't actually smile, given his Vulcan training :-D But he would definitely brush it off as no big deal :-) I almost regret killing Marcus off, as it would have allowed him and Azera to have interacted more :-)

    True, though there's also a really powerful sense of poignancy in his passing the torch onto characters like Captain Palmer (and Azera herself), that the new world that's emerged since the Dominion War, and the Federation now being protected by those he guided as a mentor, is in itself his legacy. But if he ever does find a way to come back, it might be fun to send Marcus on a whirlwind tour of how much crazier the galaxy's gotten in the meantime... ;)

    The next entry is a letter written by marcusdkane in the aftermath of LC41, and used with his permission! :)
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    Incoming Message: "The Truth," by marcusdkane
    Stardate 90905.42
    To: Azera Xi, Commanding Officer USS Roanoke:
    From: Marcus Kane, Starfleet Intelligence:
    Subject: The Truth

    Azera,
    If you are reading this, then I am dead. Having relinquished my immortality, I have to deal with the reality that we live in dangerous times, with foes on many fronts, and to quote the El-Aurian proverb, "time is the fire in which we burn".

    I need to ensure that what I am about to tell you remains solely between you and I, and to avoid any cloak and dagger shenanigans on Risa, this was the most logical way of conveying that information securely to you. This message was programmed to transmit itself from a secure server owned by my family business in ShiKahr, and present itself to you three months from the date of our final communique. It is presenting as text so as to prevent any possibility of it being overheard or otherwise monitored. You will only be able to read it once, as afterwards, the program will permanently decompile itself and be lost as random data. As I said, we have foes on many fronts.

    I'm sure by now that you have found the amendment I made to your personnel file. When we spoke, it seemed better for you to find out the truth in your own time, rather than having it rammed down your throat like I did when I resurrected on Titan following a failed test-flight. I had so many questions like why had I never been told I carried the Lazarus gene previously, but in time, I came to realize in the cruelest way that there are sometimes reasons why the truth must be withheld even from those it pertains to. I hope that by sparing you those questions, I might have allowed the truth to filter through at a time when you were able to accept it and use it to become stronger as a person. We each have our crosses to bear, but this need not be one of yours.

    I also owe you an apology... By committing your ethnicity to record, I may well be pinning a target to your back, and for that, I am truly sorry, but, if it might be of any assistance, I can at least point out the smoking guns to you. Before amending your file, I gave a classified briefing to the following Admirals:

    Akaar
    Kim
    Quinn
    T'Nae
    Trem
    Valoth
    Yashinov
    Zelle

    They are the majority of people authorized to view the amendment of your record classifying you as Species One. I'm sure you have a computer tech on board who can over-ride the security protocol on your file to view the other names on the authorized list. I believe these admirals are as opposed to Section 31 as I am, but I know that 31 has both overt and covert means of manipulating people into doing as it wishes, so someone on that list, will be the only way in which Section 31 will learn the truth about you. Should anything ever happen to you, you will at least know where to begin to look for retribution.

    My mother taught me many things as a child, but two in particular come to mind: Turning the other cheek just gets you slapped harder, and give someone enough rope to hang them-self, and they will inevitably do so. I am hoping that you will be the rope by which our mutual friend Franklin Drake hangs himself.

    Should you ever find yourself in need, I would suggest that you contact either Captain Amanda Palmer, a former pupil of mine who understands only too well how the upper echelons of Starfleet Command operate, and is left alone because of it, or my oldest friend, Master Scientist Selek, of the Vulcan Science Academy. I am sure that between them, they will be able to advise you on any issues you may experience.

    Live long and prosper, my young friend,
  • sparklysoldiersparklysoldier Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    The above was written by marcusdkane as a response to LC41 - I take no credit for it! Thank you Marcus for writing such a moving farewell message, and I'm glad to be able to commemorate his character as part of Azera's adventures. :)
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    True, though there's also a really powerful sense of poignancy in his passing the torch onto characters like Captain Palmer (and Azera herself), that the new world that's emerged since the Dominion War, and the Federation now being protected by those he guided as a mentor, is in itself his legacy. But if he ever does find a way to come back, it might be fun to send Marcus on a whirlwind tour of how much crazier the galaxy's gotten in the meantime... ;)
    There're definitely a few ways that he could be resurrected, but I think doing so would undermine every sacrifice he made, so I'm not planning on bring him back quite yet :D
    The next entry is a letter written by marcusdkane in the aftermath of LC41, and used with his permission! :)
    I had wondered if you were going to write it into an entry, but thank you for including it thus :o
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