Discovering that you're a part of Species 1--the Origin Race of the Borg--is almost as powerful a revelation as Vader revealing to Luke "I AM your father", or other equivalent revelations in fiction. It means that the protagonist (Azera in your case) has a very close connection to their enemies.
I look forward to learning more about Azera, and what happens to her because of this revelation.
That struck me too. Of course in this case its more like "Azera, you are my mother!" which is infinitely more horrifying (discovering you are the progenitor of evil as opposed the progeny)
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Now that would be a match made in hell: assimilated Dukat. The Borg Queen and the Borg King. Ewwwwwwwwww.
And I thought Dukat and Kai Winn were bad! I'll just be over here scrubbing my brain out...
Then again, that's actually kind of what happened when the Pah-Wraiths overrode Dukat's free will and took him over... O_o For all the controversy about what happened to Dukat in the end, I find it fitting because he ended up having done to him exactly what he tried to do to others.
I hadn't thought of it that way, but you've got a good point. Someone who so prided himself on manipulating others into being his lackeys wound up being manipulated into being a lackey. And worst of all for someone who hated the Bajorans so much, he got played by the Bajoran devils.
True...though given Alyosha's origins in "Time's Arrow," I am trying to reconcile both depictions as much as possible.
One idea is that maybe the Devidians can see across a broad band of subspace, but they have to be paying attention to do it, like catching movement out of the corner of your eye. Until the Enterprise-D came along, they'd never really worried about it because nobody from our space had ever infiltrated theirs.
Truth be told, though, I favor STO's treatment of the Devidians, since I am of the mind that budget limitations kept TNG from showing as much as they might have otherwise--stuff like showing the Devidians having a form more distinct from that of humanity, or showing them really moving around, throwing telekinetic blasts, or directly draining their victims. (I get the idea they have a machine that can do it and store what they take for later, from "Time's Arrow," or if they're just really pissed off, or intending to flat out take over an area, they just go directly for the kill.)
Oh definitely, the Devidians as eerie floating apparitions that cause mysterious deaths while gradually drawing our world into theirs is a great concept for an enemy. Cryptic did a good job of taking the most interesting aspects of them from "Time's Arrow" and making it work for the Driffen's Comet arc. There were times in those missions, especially in the station sublevels, that felt like a Trek take on Silent Hill... :eek:
A-ha, I'll look forward to reading that :-) If she has issue with Marcus' silence, I'm sure he can be reached via seance at Castle Caladan :-D
That probably won't be necessary... but would be fun to see.
"You will be visited this night by the ghosts of three admirals! The first will be James T. Kirk. If he tries to make a move on you, just remind him that he was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was still in diapers. Well, maybe not your grandfather, but it'll work."
Yes, Buffy was the image which came to mind, even though age-wise, she's not quite in keeping with Azera's age... Hayden Panettiere, might be an acceptable substitute... :-)
That observation inspired me to at least see how it'd look, and you're onto something with Buffy...
Buffy + ponytail + rudimentary GIMP skills to change her hair and eyes = Pretty darn close!
She's slightly older and way more tanned, but that's Hollywood for you. :P
Discovering that you're a part of Species 1--the Origin Race of the Borg--is almost as powerful a revelation as Vader revealing to Luke "I AM your father", or other equivalent revelations in fiction. It means that the protagonist (Azera in your case) has a very close connection to their enemies.
I look forward to learning more about Azera, and what happens to her because of this revelation. :-D
That struck me too. Of course in this case its more like "Azera, you are my mother!" which is infinitely more horrifying (discovering you are the progenitor of evil as opposed the progeny)
It's like a horrible mixture of Star Wars and Maury Povich!
I'm glad you liked it! It really is a similar revelation, and devastating for her to have all the idealistic dreams she'd held onto demolished in one blow. Her connection to the Borg also gives them a connection to her, raising questions about who they used to be and what happened. Some of the answers are hinted at in this story, and though I'd like to keep the details a mystery, it's become too important to leave entirely untouched. The way her character's evolved, finding out where she came from is a big part of her journey.
I've read a few stories now, and more comments are coming soon.
@cmdrscarlet: Short, vividly concise, and if there's anything I'm getting from her stories so far, it's that Kathryn is not a captain to be trifled with, ever, whether you're a disgruntled security officer or an assimilated Orion slave trader!
@sanders223: I love the story opening after the crash and the dreams and flashbacks telling us how they got there, and what the final message actually said is a really powerful twist. Aw, poor Prex - his reluctantly admitting that he also liked rock-climbing somehow really made him endearing as a character. The setting had a very different feel from a Federation ship, and I really enjoyed reading about Ssharki, his sons and their rag-tag band of Imperial subjects.
@marcusdkane: Wow, Eleven of Twelve is going to raise so, so many eyebrows when she walks into, well, anywhere besides the ship! You did a great job of describing her very distinctive face, and showing the contrast between her regal appearance and modest personality. And two first officers... it's an inventive solution to the problem, and they do say two heads are better than one. Well done!
And done with my second (and technically third :rolleyes: ) entries. I wanted to do something a little different for these two. For the first one, I wanted to get the feeling of "Why not go ahead and get it over with?" for Bryan and Ibalei's...well...Read and find out. For the second part, I was looking to explore a situation I briefly referenced but never really elaborated on. Basically, what happened is after Bryan told his family about his marrying Ibalei, they disowned him, due to deep-seeded racism. Not a topic I ordinarily write about, so let me know what you guys think.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
And I thought Dukat and Kai Winn were bad! I'll just be over here scrubbing my brain out...
Yeah...definitely nasty.
I hadn't thought of it that way, but you've got a good point. Someone who so prided himself on manipulating others into being his lackeys wound up being manipulated into being a lackey. And worst of all for someone who hated the Bajorans so much, he got played by the Bajoran devils.
Exactly!
One idea is that maybe the Devidians can see across a broad band of subspace, but they have to be paying attention to do it, like catching movement out of the corner of your eye. Until the Enterprise-D came along, they'd never really worried about it because nobody from our space had ever infiltrated theirs.
That's a possibility. Or maybe they could see our "heroes" and were just being arrogant jerks. "Meh, just a bunch of farm animals. Ignore 'em." :rolleyes:
Your idea would still work, though, because Alyosha is constantly using that focus. He may well be better at it than your typical Devidian.
Oh definitely, the Devidians as eerie floating apparitions that cause mysterious deaths while gradually drawing our world into theirs is a great concept for an enemy. Cryptic did a good job of taking the most interesting aspects of them from "Time's Arrow" and making it work for the Driffen's Comet arc. There were times in those missions, especially in the station sublevels, that felt like a Trek take on Silent Hill... :eek:
Never played Silent Hill...but yeah, it made for a REALLY creepy mission.
You know the weirdest part?
I played it on four toons, including Alyosha, who is a sci. NONE of them had points in threat control. Guess which toon I was playing when I drew WAY more aggro, from more mobs, more quickly, during that mission? :eek: I swear I didn't do ANYTHING differently. But he'd be walking down a hall and get jumped by a huge mob for no reason other than they were pissed at him. Instead of just seeing them, and finding it a creepy moment, like my other toons, he was fighting for his life. Or walk in a room, and not even touch a console yet, and he's getting attacked. It was crazy...it was JUST like I'd written the story, where they saw what he was even though his crew couldn't, and were so repulsed and angered that they went after him with a personal vengeance.
Even my other "sci alien" wasn't getting jumped like that!!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Wow, Bryan's mother is a nasty piece of work, that's for sure.
Also, I keep wanting to know more about Six, and why she turned out to be so cheerful and adjusted (yet not remember or want to use her old name). There seems to be a story there.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Wow, Bryan's mother is a nasty piece of work, that's for sure.
Also, I keep wanting to know more about Six, and why she turned out to be so cheerful and adjusted (yet not remember or want to use her old name). There seems to be a story there.
Yeah, there is a story there. You'll have to wait until I figure out what that story is myself though
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
wraithshadow13 - I read your entry a few days ago but haven't had time to reply. In my opinion, the stream-of-consciousness flow is fine, but it makes the narrator come across as distracted or scatterbrained. That's not a bad thing (I used the same technique when I wanted to show my security chief's mental anguish over his encounter with the Prophets), but if that's not what you were trying to show, then you might want to clean up the formatting some.
Of course, you are welcome to poke (or bash) my writing style.
pompouluss - welcome to these "challenges." You did a good job introducing topics to be explored later, and I look forward to seeing them expanded upon.
Part of me has wondered why characters don't smoke in the television shows (from an in-universe perspective, not the obvious social & political realities in real life). Doctor Phlox cured someone with lung cancer in Enterprise. With the obvious bodily harm eliminated, why wouldn't more people smoke? Or maybe I just wish there weren't consequences here and now.
While i meant for him to come off as upset through it, i wasn't really going for scatterbrained, so if that's how it came off it's purely because i am at times, especially late night when i write these usually. Still though, i'm always welcoming feedback so i can try to improve, so i will definitely try to stay on track a little more next time.
And done with my second (and technically third :rolleyes: ) entries. I wanted to do something a little different for these two. For the first one, I wanted to get the feeling of "Why not go ahead and get it over with?" for Bryan and Ibalei's...well...Read and find out. For the second part, I was looking to explore a situation I briefly referenced but never really elaborated on. Basically, what happened is after Bryan told his family about his marrying Ibalei, they disowned him, due to deep-seeded racism. Not a topic I ordinarily write about, so let me know what you guys think.
Very nice pair of entries!
I'm glad Bryan, Ibalei and the crew were able to make the best of an unpleasant situation.
For the second entry, the battle scenes was extremely well done - especially the one between Bryan and his mother!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I've put up a third entry in response to LC #3: My Haven.
This one is much shorter than my other submissions so far - just something I whipped up last night while taking a break from another project.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)
(Just as an FYI, it's "Vaya con Dios," rather than being spelled "via." If it were spelled "via," that would be pronounced VEE-ah, as in "Via Dolorosa.")
It also makes one really think about the logistical issues of seeing to the spiritual well-being of crews on deep-space missions. Without getting into any discussions or debates that could be against forum rules, I will simply say that there's also a logistical problem for my captain as well. He was raised on Earth and chose to join the Russian Orthodox Church, but there is one little complication: he's Devidian, and that presents a major issue with the Eucharist and how in the heck he can possibly participate in the central ritual of the Church. (I have an idea of how, but I would probably need to speak privately with someone who has knowledge of Orthodoxy to make sure it wouldn't tick anyone off.)
The kinds of issues that would have to be dealt with in a 25th century environment are quite staggering, when you think about it--though IMHO not insurmountable.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)
I loved it. Great use of the holodeck concept which I'm now shocked hasn't been done before -- a guilt-stricken captain seeking absolution from what is essentially a hollow man.
I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)
Yeah, that's definitely intentional. As is the fact that he has to create this archaic "Pirates of the Caribbean" fantasy realm to immerse himself in before he even feels comfortable walking into a church.
(Just as an FYI, it's "Vaya con Dios," rather than being spelled "via." If it were spelled "via," that would be pronounced VEE-ah, as in "Via Dolorosa.")
Oops. Fixed.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
That probably won't be necessary... but would be fun to see.
"You will be visited this night by the ghosts of three admirals! The first will be James T. Kirk. If he tries to make a move on you, just remind him that he was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was still in diapers. Well, maybe not your grandfather, but it'll work."
Marcus would definitely be the ghost of Starfleet Present, he was very much a child of the 24th Century, and even though he had an immortal's potential for an extended life, as GulBerat realized, for him, that would have truly been a living Hell. Had he survived long enough to see the rise and fall of the Systems Commonwealth at the time of Andromeda, I think he'd've gone well and truly round the twist, probably living in a cave like some hermit, muttering to himself in Vulcan and scratching pictures of his friends on the walls
She's slightly older and way more tanned, but that's Hollywood for you.
While investigating the ruins of a Preserver Temple, Azera is exposed to an energy discharge which causes her cells biological age to begin to catch up to her chronological age... Of course, the crew manage to arrest the process and return her aging to a normal rate, but only after she has aged a decade and change...
Wow, Eleven of Twelve is going to raise so, so many eyebrows when she walks into, well, anywhere besides the ship! You did a great job of describing her very distinctive face, and showing the contrast between her regal appearance and modest personality.
Once I decided that she was indeed going to be a legitimately assimilated officer, not just a ruse, I wanted her personality to be as opposite to the Borg Queen's as possible. Of course, the neural restructuring and knowledge of the Collective is going to be reflected, somewhat like a joined Trill, as opposed to when McCoy held Spock's katra, and Spock was essentially 'pulling the strings' at times, but for the most, I wanted her character to be very different to that predatory magnetism which the Borg Queen possesses, even if that is the first thing anyone would see when they look at her...
And two first officers... it's an inventive solution to the problem, and they do say two heads are better than one. Well done!
Thanks ^_^ For the most part, I think Amanda is so utterly betrayed by Lambert's actions, that she simply can't bring herself to trust an outsider on her bridge, for fear of them doing something similar, so went with the option of the most reliable officers she knows... I think the duties will resolve themselves such that Mayer would take more responsibility aboard ship, with Chanos stepping up for away missions, with Mayer remaining on board ^_^
And done with my second (and technically third :rolleyes: ) entries. I wanted to do something a little different for these two. For the first one, I wanted to get the feeling of "Why not go ahead and get it over with?" for Bryan and Ibalei's...well...Read and find out. For the second part, I was looking to explore a situation I briefly referenced but never really elaborated on. Basically, what happened is after Bryan told his family about his marrying Ibalei, they disowned him, due to deep-seeded racism. Not a topic I ordinarily write about, so let me know what you guys think.
Nice entries as always :cool:
With regards the racism of Bryan's family, I think it would carry more weight if the reason for their feelings toward Trills (or maybe all non-Humans) was to be explored, as while there's never an excusing factor for a person to have prejudiced views, there is often some kernel of warped logic to their mindset or a legitimately shocking experience... For example, Miles O'Brien had seen on numerous occasions the brutality and vile sadism which some Cardassians are capable of, and initially held nothing but contempt for them as a people. I mean sure, Kira knew never to turn her back on a Cardassian for fear of getting jumped, but O'Brien, he really hated them, maybe even more-so than Kira... If there was such a reason for Bryan's family to feel like that, then maybe it would be a viewpoint Ibalei might be able to attempt to overcome in time...
I've put up a third entry in response to LC #3: My Haven.
This one is much shorter than my other submissions so far - just something I whipped up last night while taking a break from another project.
I really enjoyed this entry I wasn't too sure as if the confessional was being taken seriously by Jesu, but when he came into the corridor saying his Ave Marias, that showed that indeed he was serious, which is unusual amongst Humans of the 24th/25th Century, so I felt that was quite nice to see
Alright, so, just as a heads up, the week is almost halfway through and I'm still indecisive about what to write. Admittedly, more than a few real-life things have interfered, but still, I suck when it comes to decision making. As such, what would people prefer to see me write? A short piece revolving around one of my bridge officers, or an introduction for my KDF character?
Buffy + ponytail + rudimentary GIMP skills to change her hair and eyes = Pretty darn close!
She's slightly older and way more tanned, but that's Hollywood for you. :P
Oh, yeah. I'd assimilate that. :P
@sanders223: I love the story opening after the crash and the dreams and flashbacks telling us how they got there, and what the final message actually said is a really powerful twist. Aw, poor Prex - his reluctantly admitting that he also liked rock-climbing somehow really made him endearing as a character. The setting had a very different feel from a Federation ship, and I really enjoyed reading about Ssharki, his sons and their rag-tag band of Imperial subjects.
I was sort of going for that classic Plane-Crash/Lost-at-Sea-survival-movie clich?. You have the one character nobody really likes at first, then he starts to grow on you, then he dies.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Alright, so, just as a heads up, the week is almost halfway through and I'm still indecisive about what to write. Admittedly, more than a few real-life things have interfered, but still, I suck when it comes to decision making. As such, what would people prefer to see me write? A short piece revolving around one of my bridge officers, or an introduction for my KDF character?
Both.
C'mon, I've done three already, and I'm working on a fourth. :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
While investigating the ruins of a Preserver Temple, Azera is exposed to an energy discharge which causes her cells biological age to begin to catch up to her chronological age... Of course, the crew manage to arrest the process and return her aging to a normal rate, but only after she has aged a decade and change... ;-)
That does sound exactly like the sort of crazy TOS-style plots our crews might get into.
Once I decided that she was indeed going to be a legitimately assimilated officer, not just a ruse, I wanted her personality to be as opposite to the Borg Queen's as possible. Of course, the neural restructuring and knowledge of the Collective is going to be reflected, somewhat like a joined Trill, as opposed to when McCoy held Spock's katra, and Spock was essentially 'pulling the strings' at times, but for the most, I wanted her character to be very different to that predatory magnetism which the Borg Queen possesses, even if that is the first thing anyone would see when they look at her...
I could see that making for some fun story moments in places like Club 47 or Starfleet Academy.
I was sort of going for that classic Plane-Crash/Lost-at-Sea-survival-movie clich?. You have the one character nobody really likes at first, then he starts to grow on you, then he dies.
Oh, it absolutely worked too. Also, I'm ashamed to say it took a second read to notice Watterson the fuzzy animal, plus Cal, short for Calvin, and put the pieces together. As a Calvin & Hobbes fan, I salute the I.K.S. Norgh'a'Qun all the more! Plus, the song quoted would work very, very well as a soundtrack for this story as an episode...
Two more stories read!
@takeshi6: Something gives me the feeling an ambitious emperor in the Mirror Universe named Lelouch could be a very, very bad thing. Very nice dialogue, I like the story's perspective within his thoughts, and a complex political power struggle in the MU could be very fun to read, especially if it spills over into the prime universe and its version of the character.
@sanders233: So the good news is that religion apparently is alive and well in the 25th century! The bad news is that it's helping some people brush aside things that maybe they shouldn't be brushing aside so fast. :eek: Very good, and bleak, look at wartime morality and, as gulberat pointed out, the hollowness of the forgiveness Jesu seeks and how he obtains it...
Thanks! I was going for something a little different when I wrote the battle scenes, by describing them from a spectator's perspective rather than from the bridge. Glad it worked well!
@sanders233: So the good news is that religion apparently is alive and well in the 25th century! The bad news is that it's helping some people brush aside things that maybe they shouldn't be brushing aside so fast. :eek: Very good, and bleak, look at wartime morality and, as gulberat pointed out, the hollowness of the forgiveness Jesu seeks and how he obtains it...
I don't know about sanders, but in my writing religion is not in a healthy state on Earth, unfortunately. However, there is still a minority who does practice. For example, it was not originally intended that Alyosha be raised in any sort of religion. He asked some tough questions about things he experienced, and had done, though--and those answers ended up leading him to the church.
I wonder how sander sees it?
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
I don't know about sanders, but in my writing religion is not in a healthy state on Earth, unfortunately. However, there is still a minority who does practice. For example, it was not originally intended that Alyosha be raised in any sort of religion. He asked some tough questions about things he experienced, and had done, though--and those answers ended up leading him to the church.
I wonder how sander sees it?
My view is very similar.
I see Earth in the 24th/25th Century as basically being John Lennon's song "Imagine" come true, which in my mind makes for a very dull existence. (Fortunately the rest of the Federation and the galaxy at large has a bit more spice.)
Jesu was born into a long line of lapse Catholics - the sort who only attend church on holidays and family events (weddings, infant dedications and funerals.) They look forward to Carnivale - but Lent, not so much.
But its the only religious tradition Jesu has to fall back on when feels the need to unburden himself on a higher power. And even so he's so embarrassed to walk into a church that he has to create this holodeck fantasy and an alternate persona before he can bring himself to his knees.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Terrific introduction to Lynathru. Wonderful descriptions of the Orion culture and their difficulties integrating with the Klingon Empire. Some of your senior officers seemed a bit stereotyped but I'm sure they'll be developed further down the line (Letheans give me the creeps too.)
I am eagerly anticipating many exciting piratical tales of swashbuckling adventure.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Terrific introduction to Lynathru. Wonderful descriptions of the Orion culture and their difficulties integrating with the Klingon Empire. Some of your senior officers seemed a bit stereotyped but I'm sure they'll be developed further down the line (Letheans give me the creeps too.)
I am eagerly anticipating many exciting piratical tales of swashbuckling adventure.
Why thank you, although at this point it will become a real choice of whether to focus my LC entries on Arkos or Lynrathu, especially since I have quite a few interesting story ideas for both.
As to the Notqa's BOFFs being stereotypical...true enough, but bear in mind that they're also being seen from the perspective of a very biased Captain. Just be thankful that I didn't include any Nausicaans on the bridge crew, THEN you would have seen a stereotype.
Aaand my third is up. I'm done for this round :cool:
SO ...
@ sander233 - A music lyric intro? YOINK for future LC Although non-Fed took a little geting used to, I really liked it and was connected to the characters plight the whole way through. That's going to be a tough one to follow-up for me.
@ sparklysoldier - I've expressed my opinion on this privately, but let me just add to the chorus: damn. it. awesome It's "Deus Ex Machina" God from the Machine?
@ pompouluss - There is a lot more going on here and I'm looking forward to learning how Sasup got into the situation she is getting out of.
@ ironphoenix113 - Two back-to-back :eek: Very well done and answered some ends. I too am looking for more concerning the relationship with Bryan's mother (unless you have decided it's a closed arc).
Now I have to go back and catch up on others. This has been a good month!
@ sparklysoldier - I've expressed my opinion on this privately, but let me just add to the chorus: damn. it. awesome It's "Deus Ex Machina" God from the Machine?
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And d'oh... it's fixed now!
Why thank you, although at this point it will become a real choice of whether to focus my LC entries on Arkos or Lynrathu, especially since I have quite a few interesting story ideas for both.
As to the Notqa's BOFFs being stereotypical...true enough, but bear in mind that they're also being seen from the perspective of a very biased Captain. Just be thankful that I didn't include any Nausicaans on the bridge crew, THEN you would have seen a stereotype.
Fantastic entry, I really liked Khe'Rath, I hope she will somehow make future appearances
Comments
That struck me too. Of course in this case its more like "Azera, you are my mother!" which is infinitely more horrifying (discovering you are the progenitor of evil as opposed the progeny)
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
And I thought Dukat and Kai Winn were bad! I'll just be over here scrubbing my brain out...
I hadn't thought of it that way, but you've got a good point. Someone who so prided himself on manipulating others into being his lackeys wound up being manipulated into being a lackey. And worst of all for someone who hated the Bajorans so much, he got played by the Bajoran devils.
One idea is that maybe the Devidians can see across a broad band of subspace, but they have to be paying attention to do it, like catching movement out of the corner of your eye. Until the Enterprise-D came along, they'd never really worried about it because nobody from our space had ever infiltrated theirs.
Oh definitely, the Devidians as eerie floating apparitions that cause mysterious deaths while gradually drawing our world into theirs is a great concept for an enemy. Cryptic did a good job of taking the most interesting aspects of them from "Time's Arrow" and making it work for the Driffen's Comet arc. There were times in those missions, especially in the station sublevels, that felt like a Trek take on Silent Hill... :eek:
That probably won't be necessary... but would be fun to see.
"You will be visited this night by the ghosts of three admirals! The first will be James T. Kirk. If he tries to make a move on you, just remind him that he was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was still in diapers. Well, maybe not your grandfather, but it'll work."
That observation inspired me to at least see how it'd look, and you're onto something with Buffy...
Buffy + ponytail + rudimentary GIMP skills to change her hair and eyes = Pretty darn close!
She's slightly older and way more tanned, but that's Hollywood for you. :P
It's like a horrible mixture of Star Wars and Maury Povich!
I'm glad you liked it! It really is a similar revelation, and devastating for her to have all the idealistic dreams she'd held onto demolished in one blow. Her connection to the Borg also gives them a connection to her, raising questions about who they used to be and what happened. Some of the answers are hinted at in this story, and though I'd like to keep the details a mystery, it's become too important to leave entirely untouched. The way her character's evolved, finding out where she came from is a big part of her journey.
I've read a few stories now, and more comments are coming soon.
@cmdrscarlet: Short, vividly concise, and if there's anything I'm getting from her stories so far, it's that Kathryn is not a captain to be trifled with, ever, whether you're a disgruntled security officer or an assimilated Orion slave trader!
@sanders223: I love the story opening after the crash and the dreams and flashbacks telling us how they got there, and what the final message actually said is a really powerful twist. Aw, poor Prex - his reluctantly admitting that he also liked rock-climbing somehow really made him endearing as a character. The setting had a very different feel from a Federation ship, and I really enjoyed reading about Ssharki, his sons and their rag-tag band of Imperial subjects.
@marcusdkane: Wow, Eleven of Twelve is going to raise so, so many eyebrows when she walks into, well, anywhere besides the ship! You did a great job of describing her very distinctive face, and showing the contrast between her regal appearance and modest personality. And two first officers... it's an inventive solution to the problem, and they do say two heads are better than one. Well done!
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Yeah...definitely nasty.
Exactly!
That's a possibility. Or maybe they could see our "heroes" and were just being arrogant jerks. "Meh, just a bunch of farm animals. Ignore 'em." :rolleyes:
Your idea would still work, though, because Alyosha is constantly using that focus. He may well be better at it than your typical Devidian.
Never played Silent Hill...but yeah, it made for a REALLY creepy mission.
You know the weirdest part?
I played it on four toons, including Alyosha, who is a sci. NONE of them had points in threat control. Guess which toon I was playing when I drew WAY more aggro, from more mobs, more quickly, during that mission? :eek: I swear I didn't do ANYTHING differently. But he'd be walking down a hall and get jumped by a huge mob for no reason other than they were pissed at him. Instead of just seeing them, and finding it a creepy moment, like my other toons, he was fighting for his life. Or walk in a room, and not even touch a console yet, and he's getting attacked. It was crazy...it was JUST like I'd written the story, where they saw what he was even though his crew couldn't, and were so repulsed and angered that they went after him with a personal vengeance.
Even my other "sci alien" wasn't getting jumped like that!!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Also, I keep wanting to know more about Six, and why she turned out to be so cheerful and adjusted (yet not remember or want to use her old name). There seems to be a story there.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Yeah, there is a story there. You'll have to wait until I figure out what that story is myself though
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Of course, you are welcome to poke (or bash) my writing style.
pompouluss - welcome to these "challenges." You did a good job introducing topics to be explored later, and I look forward to seeing them expanded upon.
Part of me has wondered why characters don't smoke in the television shows (from an in-universe perspective, not the obvious social & political realities in real life). Doctor Phlox cured someone with lung cancer in Enterprise. With the obvious bodily harm eliminated, why wouldn't more people smoke? Or maybe I just wish there weren't consequences here and now.
Very nice pair of entries!
I'm glad Bryan, Ibalei and the crew were able to make the best of an unpleasant situation.
For the second entry, the battle scenes was extremely well done - especially the one between Bryan and his mother!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
This one is much shorter than my other submissions so far - just something I whipped up last night while taking a break from another project.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)
(Just as an FYI, it's "Vaya con Dios," rather than being spelled "via." If it were spelled "via," that would be pronounced VEE-ah, as in "Via Dolorosa.")
It also makes one really think about the logistical issues of seeing to the spiritual well-being of crews on deep-space missions. Without getting into any discussions or debates that could be against forum rules, I will simply say that there's also a logistical problem for my captain as well. He was raised on Earth and chose to join the Russian Orthodox Church, but there is one little complication: he's Devidian, and that presents a major issue with the Eucharist and how in the heck he can possibly participate in the central ritual of the Church. (I have an idea of how, but I would probably need to speak privately with someone who has knowledge of Orthodoxy to make sure it wouldn't tick anyone off.)
The kinds of issues that would have to be dealt with in a 25th century environment are quite staggering, when you think about it--though IMHO not insurmountable.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
I loved it. Great use of the holodeck concept which I'm now shocked hasn't been done before -- a guilt-stricken captain seeking absolution from what is essentially a hollow man.
Yeah, that's definitely intentional. As is the fact that he has to create this archaic "Pirates of the Caribbean" fantasy realm to immerse himself in before he even feels comfortable walking into a church.
Oops. Fixed.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
OMG :eek: Azera lives! :wub: :wub:
While investigating the ruins of a Preserver Temple, Azera is exposed to an energy discharge which causes her cells biological age to begin to catch up to her chronological age... Of course, the crew manage to arrest the process and return her aging to a normal rate, but only after she has aged a decade and change...
Once I decided that she was indeed going to be a legitimately assimilated officer, not just a ruse, I wanted her personality to be as opposite to the Borg Queen's as possible. Of course, the neural restructuring and knowledge of the Collective is going to be reflected, somewhat like a joined Trill, as opposed to when McCoy held Spock's katra, and Spock was essentially 'pulling the strings' at times, but for the most, I wanted her character to be very different to that predatory magnetism which the Borg Queen possesses, even if that is the first thing anyone would see when they look at her...
Thanks ^_^ For the most part, I think Amanda is so utterly betrayed by Lambert's actions, that she simply can't bring herself to trust an outsider on her bridge, for fear of them doing something similar, so went with the option of the most reliable officers she knows... I think the duties will resolve themselves such that Mayer would take more responsibility aboard ship, with Chanos stepping up for away missions, with Mayer remaining on board ^_^
With regards the racism of Bryan's family, I think it would carry more weight if the reason for their feelings toward Trills (or maybe all non-Humans) was to be explored, as while there's never an excusing factor for a person to have prejudiced views, there is often some kernel of warped logic to their mindset or a legitimately shocking experience... For example, Miles O'Brien had seen on numerous occasions the brutality and vile sadism which some Cardassians are capable of, and initially held nothing but contempt for them as a people. I mean sure, Kira knew never to turn her back on a Cardassian for fear of getting jumped, but O'Brien, he really hated them, maybe even more-so than Kira... If there was such a reason for Bryan's family to feel like that, then maybe it would be a viewpoint Ibalei might be able to attempt to overcome in time...
Oh, yeah. I'd assimilate that. :P
I was sort of going for that classic Plane-Crash/Lost-at-Sea-survival-movie clich?. You have the one character nobody really likes at first, then he starts to grow on you, then he dies.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Both.
C'mon, I've done three already, and I'm working on a fourth. :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
And I thought Kirk was all she'd have to worry about. :P
That does sound exactly like the sort of crazy TOS-style plots our crews might get into.
I could see that making for some fun story moments in places like Club 47 or Starfleet Academy.
Oh, it absolutely worked too. Also, I'm ashamed to say it took a second read to notice Watterson the fuzzy animal, plus Cal, short for Calvin, and put the pieces together. As a Calvin & Hobbes fan, I salute the I.K.S. Norgh'a'Qun all the more! Plus, the song quoted would work very, very well as a soundtrack for this story as an episode...
Two more stories read!
@takeshi6: Something gives me the feeling an ambitious emperor in the Mirror Universe named Lelouch could be a very, very bad thing. Very nice dialogue, I like the story's perspective within his thoughts, and a complex political power struggle in the MU could be very fun to read, especially if it spills over into the prime universe and its version of the character.
@sanders233: So the good news is that religion apparently is alive and well in the 25th century! The bad news is that it's helping some people brush aside things that maybe they shouldn't be brushing aside so fast. :eek: Very good, and bleak, look at wartime morality and, as gulberat pointed out, the hollowness of the forgiveness Jesu seeks and how he obtains it...
Thanks! I was going for something a little different when I wrote the battle scenes, by describing them from a spectator's perspective rather than from the bridge. Glad it worked well!
@marcus
Glad you liked them! And with regard to Bryan's parents, that is definitely something I'll be exploring in the future
Now that that's out of the way, time to get started on (technically :rolleyes: ) my fourth!
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
I don't know about sanders, but in my writing religion is not in a healthy state on Earth, unfortunately.
I wonder how sander sees it?
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
My view is very similar.
I see Earth in the 24th/25th Century as basically being John Lennon's song "Imagine" come true, which in my mind makes for a very dull existence. (Fortunately the rest of the Federation and the galaxy at large has a bit more spice.)
Jesu was born into a long line of lapse Catholics - the sort who only attend church on holidays and family events (weddings, infant dedications and funerals.) They look forward to Carnivale - but Lent, not so much.
But its the only religious tradition Jesu has to fall back on when feels the need to unburden himself on a higher power. And even so he's so embarrassed to walk into a church that he has to create this holodeck fantasy and an alternate persona before he can bring himself to his knees.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Yay! Space pirates!:D
Terrific introduction to Lynathru. Wonderful descriptions of the Orion culture and their difficulties integrating with the Klingon Empire. Some of your senior officers seemed a bit stereotyped but I'm sure they'll be developed further down the line (Letheans give me the creeps too.)
I am eagerly anticipating many exciting piratical tales of swashbuckling adventure.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Why thank you, although at this point it will become a real choice of whether to focus my LC entries on Arkos or Lynrathu, especially since I have quite a few interesting story ideas for both.
As to the Notqa's BOFFs being stereotypical...true enough, but bear in mind that they're also being seen from the perspective of a very biased Captain. Just be thankful that I didn't include any Nausicaans on the bridge crew, THEN you would have seen a stereotype.
SO ...
@ sander233 - A music lyric intro? YOINK for future LC
@ sparklysoldier - I've expressed my opinion on this privately, but let me just add to the chorus: damn. it. awesome
@ pompouluss - There is a lot more going on here and I'm looking forward to learning how Sasup got into the situation she is getting out of.
@ ironphoenix113 - Two back-to-back :eek: Very well done and answered some ends. I too am looking for more concerning the relationship with Bryan's mother (unless you have decided it's a closed arc).
Now I have to go back and catch up on others. This has been a good month!
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
It does... It would certainly allow for the use of SMG ^_^
It'll be interesting to see where future LCs take her ^_^
Very much so, and awesome news, it'll be interesting to see the basis for their views