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Forums > Home› Feedback› PvP Gameplay

Cryptic HR policies

francescos77francescos77 Member Posts: 122 Arc User
edited June 2012 in PvP Gameplay
Here's what happens at Cryptic when someone decides to leave his job.

[DEV]
Hey boss, sorry to say that, but company <insert company here> offered me a lot of $$$$, so i'm sorry but i'm leaving the job in four weeks.

[BOSS]
No problem <insert dev name here>, everybody is replaceable, even me.
Now, let's find some activities for you during these four weeks, so that you will not have unfinished projects when you actually leave.
You must know that we have a great expertise in managing developers that decide to leave.
Ok here's the standard procedure.

From now on you develop the "Into the Hive" STF. Don't worry if you don't finish it, actually I've even forgotten what this project is about, it's only a codename to fill gaps in engineering reports or blog posts.
You can go horseriding, or take your childrens to the zoo and for everyone you will be developing "Into the Hive". It's a great opportunity.

[DEV]
But BOSS, I don't want to take children to the zoo, I want to work hard until my last day here!! Please please find me a real development project!!

[BOSS]
...
Aww, ok we have a secondary protocol here.
You're assigned to PvP!

[DEV]
Do we have PvP in this game? Really?

[BOSS]
Yeah, nobody knows it, but we even have a forum dedicated to PvP!
Go there, talk with them about some super secret projects to balance the game, they will be happy, I've already sent some people there and they never returned.

[DEV]
Are you sure?
Great! Thank you boss!!!

[BOSS]
You're welcome.
Oh and don't worry about the PvP guys, right now I have another DEV working on a new scrambling technology that will make their forum (and also every other forum) unreadable for some time.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • dassemstodassemsto Member Posts: 792 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    francescos77 wrote: »
    I've already sent some people there and they never returned.

    ROFL

    it's true... pvp is the black hole of sto... it swallows devs and players alike
  • matcapcrapticpwematcapcrapticpwe Member Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    ahahah i think to know who that francesco is ^^

    and all that you say is a possible scenario of how things works in crApticpwe offices... :D


    [cryptic manager]
    francesco, i know you have some free time lately, do you'd like to work for FREE (we don't have much money :rolleyes:) for the pvp part of this game?
    there is a free vacant spot at Los Gatos's office....

    but remember, if you accept this proposal you have to do an hard job: you have to create new bugged skills and items, new OP P2W consoles, you have to destroy the pvp queues and others usefull things like these.

    if you achieve this objectives the last crazy pvp players will leave STO and we'll can finally remove every single piece of code regarding pvp in this game. :rolleyes:
  • aytanhiaytanhi Member Posts: 107 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    Lol, what?!?!?!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Aytanhi of TSI, TSI fleet founder and leader OrganizedPVP channel Admin
    Feel free to ask me about PVP or starship strategies. "No, I am not Borg!"
    /channel_join OrganizedPVP If you are interested in learning PVP, looking for a team, or a private match
  • percyfawcettpercyfawcett Member Posts: 22 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    Bwahahahahahaha
    @lucifer.baphomet in game, and on the NPW forums
  • linkdown1linkdown1 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    I lol'ed then cried
  • ihaterickybobby1ihaterickybobby1 Member Posts: 23 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    linkdown1 wrote: »
    I lol'ed then cried

    I only cried :frown: Because as funny as it might be its so very true.
  • lintyuklintyuk Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    This is where all the biros and odd socks end up!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Expected by no one since 2010
  • aquitaine985aquitaine985 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    francescos77 wrote: »
    Here's what happens at Cryptic when someone decides to leave his job.

    [DEV]
    Hey boss, sorry to say that, but company <insert company here> offered me a lot of $$$$, so i'm sorry but i'm leaving the job in four weeks.

    [BOSS]
    No problem <insert dev name here>, everybody is replaceable, even me.
    Now, let's find some activities for you during these four weeks, so that you will not have unfinished projects when you actually leave.
    You must know that we have a great expertise in managing developers that decide to leave.
    Ok here's the standard procedure.

    From now on you develop the "Into the Hive" STF. Don't worry if you don't finish it, actually I've even forgotten what this project is about, it's only a codename to fill gaps in engineering reports or blog posts.
    You can go horseriding, or take your childrens to the zoo and for everyone you will be developing "Into the Hive". It's a great opportunity.

    [DEV]
    But BOSS, I don't want to take children to the zoo, I want to work hard until my last day here!! Please please find me a real development project!!

    [BOSS]
    ...
    Aww, ok we have a secondary protocol here.
    You're assigned to PvP!

    [DEV]
    Do we have PvP in this game? Really?

    [BOSS]
    Yeah, nobody knows it, but we even have a forum dedicated to PvP!
    Go there, talk with them about some super secret projects to balance the game, they will be happy, I've already sent some people there and they never returned.

    [DEV]
    Are you sure?
    Great! Thank you boss!!!

    [BOSS]
    You're welcome.
    Oh and don't worry about the PvP guys, right now I have another DEV working on a new scrambling technology that will make their forum (and also every other forum) unreadable for some time.

    LOL! Now i'm sad, and alittle bit pissed off.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    @Aquitaine985
    Lag Industries STO PvP Fleet - Executive
    A Sad Panda of Industrial calibre.
    2010: This is Cryptic PvP. Please hold the line, your call is very important to us...
  • havamhavam Member Posts: 1,735 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    looool so the next dev in charge of finishing the KDF or creating romulans has a 4 week countdown, got it
    Joined 06.10
    a history of sto pvp: 2010 - 2011
    a history of sto pvp: 2012 - 2013
  • robdmcrobdmc Member Posts: 1,619 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    It's better then what they do with new Devs.

    http://dilbert.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/000000/10000/8000/200/18227/18227.strip.gif
  • pogmahone70pogmahone70 Member Posts: 6 Arc User
    edited June 2012
    francescos77 wrote: »
    Here's what happens at Cryptic when someone decides to leave his job.

    [DEV]
    Hey boss, sorry to say that, but company <insert company here> offered me a lot of $$$$, so i'm sorry but i'm leaving the job in four weeks.

    [BOSS]
    No problem <insert dev name here>, everybody is replaceable, even me.
    Now, let's find some activities for you during these four weeks, so that you will not have unfinished projects when you actually leave.
    You must know that we have a great expertise in managing developers that decide to leave.
    Ok here's the standard procedure.

    From now on you develop the "Into the Hive" STF. Don't worry if you don't finish it, actually I've even forgotten what this project is about, it's only a codename to fill gaps in engineering reports or blog posts.
    You can go horseriding, or take your childrens to the zoo and for everyone you will be developing "Into the Hive". It's a great opportunity.

    [DEV]
    But BOSS, I don't want to take children to the zoo, I want to work hard until my last day here!! Please please find me a real development project!!

    [BOSS]
    ...
    Aww, ok we have a secondary protocol here.
    You're assigned to PvP!

    [DEV]
    Do we have PvP in this game? Really?

    [BOSS]
    Yeah, nobody knows it, but we even have a forum dedicated to PvP!
    Go there, talk with them about some super secret projects to balance the game, they will be happy, I've already sent some people there and they never returned.

    [DEV]
    Are you sure?
    Great! Thank you boss!!!

    [BOSS]
    You're welcome.
    Oh and don't worry about the PvP guys, right now I have another DEV working on a new scrambling technology that will make their forum (and also every other forum) unreadable for some time.

    LOL so true yet so sad
    Divine Protectorate Gaming
    STO Beta Tester and Original Cryptic user
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