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Just another day in front of the Admiral's Office

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
edited January 2011 in Ten Forward
short explenation:

http://img5.imagebanana.com/img/hg9u45hk/screenshot_20110121154235.jpg
http://img5.imagebanana.com/img/zsgiu5p0/screenshot_20110121154254.jpg

these 2 guys are standing in front of Admiral Quinn's Office (currently tested on Tribble)

they just stand there all day long,
no windows, no chairs, nothing.
if they move to much the doors open, so they mostly have to stand still like THESE GUYS

Assignement:
provide additional security for Admiral Quinn's new office,
because some Klingon intruders lately made it into the Admiral's Office (and killed Sulu).
So the Klingon threat is allways one door away.


here is what their workday looks like:

Z3R0B4NG wrote: »

<A> "you know what?"
<B> "what?"
<A> "The next guy that walks through these doors..."
<B> "hmmh?"
<A> "...just gonna shoot him"
<B> WTF?
<A> "i mean... what is the worst that could happen? ...if i use the stun setting..."
<B> "they would throw you in the brig"
<A> "you mean they put me in a tiny room, without a window, maybe with some other guy that farts all day?"
<B> "...i see what you mean"
<A> "at least there would be a bed and food 3 times a day..."

5 minutes later:
<B> "you know what..."
<A> "what?"
<B> "i gonna shoot the next guy that walks through this door"
<A> "...nah you won't"
<B> "the hell i will!"
<A> "...naaah you won't!"
<B> "why wouldn't i?"
<A> "because you're a wuzz"

*door opens, Admiral Quinn walks through*

<A> "see? i knew you're a wuzz"
<B> "damn it!"



*next morning, next shift*

<B> "so, you missed me?"
<A> "what? why?"
<B> "well, i ...kinda missed you"
<A> "oh shut up..."
<B> "yeah... you missed me too"
<A> "i so hope the Klingons attack today ....i so not gonna fight back"
<B> "yeah... they could just throw a flashbang in here and kill us anyway... i mean, we can't even see what's coming through the door before it opens"
<A> "...hmm... i could shoot them"
<B> "...you could't even unholster your phaser fast enough"
<A> "i bet i can unholster my phaser faster then you can"
<B> "yeah?"
<A> "YEAH!"

2 minutes later:
Admiral Quinn walks in and has 2 phasers pointed at him

<Adm. Quinn> seriously? i didn't say anything about the smell in here!!! but if i EVER see another Phaser pointed at my head, i so gonna send you both to the brig!!!

....we never knew who shot first.

*next morning in the Brig*

<A> *wakes up see's B* " ...oh damn it..."
<B> "what?"
<A> "i so missed to see your face"
<B> "i knew you would miss me"
<A> "...somebody please just shoot me!"
<B> "i would, but they took my phaser"

.... Enterprise goes to Warp
.... End Credits music starts to play



feel free to add your own.
also they need Names better then A and B

I would say "Blue and Brown" ...but that would be racist.... and thats why i like it... but maybe you got something better. Like Jay and Silent Bob or something...
Post edited by Unknown User on
«13

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    I must be boring being those guys... I think I'll go yell "KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!" at them.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <B> you know what?
    <A> what?
    <B> in the 24th century, there was no money!
    <A> oh realy?
    <B> yeah!

    <A> then why do i only have an armor and you have a kit? can't they give us both an Armor AND a Kit?
    <B> ...because, it is the 25th century now and everything is Energy Credits, Energy Credits, ENERGY CREDITS!
    <A> ...oh, right.
    <B> anyway... we are supposed to protect like the most important man in the galaxy... and starfleet won't even give us proper equipment to do our job!
    <A> hmmm... i only got a Mk IV stunbeam phaser... as if that would help when the Klingons attack.
    <B> well that is because you're only Lt.Cmdr. i am an Admiral, i got a Mark X allready
    <A> what the?... how did you get to be Admiral?
    <B> ...ah thats nothing, everybody is Admiral these days.
    <A> yeah i know, but i mean... you just stand here all day long and the only thing you do is TRIBBLE! For what did you even get a Rankup EVER?
    <B> ...
    <A> come on tell me!
    <B> fine then... REST XP!
    <A> wtf is rest XP?
    <B> that is when you did not show up for work in for a while and then return, you get rest XP.
    <A> but... i see you all day long standing here, why would you ever get rest XP?
    <B> i'm not even here! i'm just talking with you over pidgin, wait a second i log in

    *room is filled with a blinding bright light*

    <A> omg! what the...?

    <SPOCK> Congratulation Commander!

    <A> ...ooooh! that is SO WRONG!
    <B> i told you, Starfleet lets everyone become Admiral these days.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Z3R0B4NG wrote: »
    feel free to add your own.
    also they need Names better then A and B

    In mine, they never move beyond basic hand movements when no one is looking. I like keeping them <A> and <B>. Leaves more to the imagination. ;)


    <A> Hey.
    <B> What.
    <A> Hey.
    <B> What.
    <A> Hey.
    <B> What!
    <A> Hey.
    <B> What!
    <A> Hey.
    <B> WHAT!
    <A> Hey.
    <B> WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!!!!!!!!!

    *silence*

    <A> I forgot what I was gonna say...

    *************
    <A> I just thought of something.
    <B> What's that?
    <A> You see that Vice Admiral over there?
    <B> Yeah.
    <A> Do you realize we've been standing here ever since he was an Ensign.
    <B> *sigh*

    *************
    <A> Do you think Andorians are blue on the inside?
    <B> I hate my job....

    *************
    <A> Did you see Admiral Quinn last night?
    <B> No. What did he do?
    <A> He was at Club 47 doing the Android.
    <B> How lame. What year does he think this is, 2375?

    *************

    <A> Hey....
    <B> Dude, seriously? Do you ever shut up?

    ************
    <A> Do you like video games?
    <B> I love video games!
    <A> You know how before you are allowed to get into an important area you have to kill the two shlubs standing outside.
    <B> Yes.
    <A> *stares*
    <B> Oh, d**n.

    ************
    <A> [To himself] I know you did it!
    <A> [To himself] No, I didn't! You are wrong!
    <A> [To himself] Yes, you did I saw you! You owe me an apology!
    <A> [To himself] You are right. I'm sorry.
    <A> [To himself] It's okay. I love you man!
    <B> [To himself] I wonder if vaporization hurts....
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Z3R0B4NG wrote: »
    also they need Names better then A and B

    Truth be told, calling em A and B works better and is funnier then coming up with "real" names for em.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A
    <B> A

    <A> WHAT?!?!?!

    <B> Hi. *laughs*

    Credit to Family Guy's Stewie
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    A: You know what's so great about the future?
    B: No, what's that?
    A: We can go to the bathroom in our spacesuits!
    B: I would like to point out that these suits are not rated for removal of bodily waste....
    A: Ahhhh, the future!
    B: *Gags*
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    (slightly modified from a commercial so not my idea)


    B: Hey Alan
    B: Alan
    B: Al
    B: Al
    B: Alan
    B: Alan
    B: Al
    B: Al
    B: Al
    B: Alan
    B: Al
    A: Im not Alan, Im Steve
    B: Steve
    B: Steve
    B: Ste
    B: Ste
    B: Steve
    A: sigh
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Haha I feel bad for those guys...
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <A> What's the square root of 358?
    <B> Why is that... ? I'm not talking to you.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <a> hey, I know we're not supposed to talk an' all, but I got a question...
    <b> #sighs# go on then...
    <a> what do we do when the fire alarms go off?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <A> Hey
    <B> Yeah?
    <A> You ever wonder why we're here?
    <B> Don't you dare start with that again
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Imho, adding these two guys and having this kind of fan reaction is the single most funniest thing to happen in STO. :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Doblinian wrote: »
    Imho, adding these two guys and having this kind of fan reaction is the single most funniest thing to happen in STO. :D

    I agree lol
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <B> I am curious about something.
    <A> Whats that?
    <B> Well, I know how Vulcans can stand still but.....
    <A> Yes?
    <B> Well, despite your incessant talking from time to time, how can you just stand there and stare off without the passerbys make you laugh?
    <A> Oh, my great, great, great, great grandfather was a British Palace Guard.
    <B> :confused:
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Now I have this notion that the pair do scenes from Waiting for Godot or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead from time to time...
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Gym_Quirk wrote:
    Now I have this notion that the pair do scenes from Waiting for Godot or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead from time to time...

    Oh sweet Christ I'm reading Hamlet right now.....I'm mean literally NOW lol. Act IV, scene 5 :p
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    A: Ummm.... What's the protocol when it comes to the Undine again?
    B: *Stares at A with a wierd look* Why?
    A: Just tell me, please.
    B: Well, the official order is shoot on sight.
    A: Oh. Ok. *Draws phaser and aims above B's head and fires*
    *Spider fizzles into non-existance*
    A: That's better. *Looks back down at the now Undine B*
    UND-B: That was my brother! *Glares at A*
    A:... *Cowers into corner*


    Admiral Quinn: I hope they don't hurt eachother TOO badly with those phasers...
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Chapter 1: The Boredom Begins!

    A) Sooooo.....yeah.
    B) What's up?
    A) Kinda bored right now ya know?
    B) Not really....
    A) Oh :o ......
    B) Kinda hungry though.
    A) I hear that! I'm so happy I replicated this bag of Pringles Classic this morning!
    B) Hey look at Orion over there....I think she violates the station's dress code.... ;)
    A) Where!?!?!?
    B) *Crunch* *Crunch* *Crunch*
    A) .......I hate you soooo much........
    B) Haha and our shift has just begun, and ends at......ends at......ummmmm....
    A) What is it......?
    B) Apparently our shift never ends!
    A) Bull@#$* !
    B) No, really look.
    A) TRIBBLE.
    B) I know right?
    A) Well......this is going to be fun.....
    B) Oh boy even worse....
    A) Oh please just don't tell me!
    B) Well...apparently somthing called "changing instances" changes our species, sex, height, etc.... :eek:
    A) ...............
    B) Look for yourself.
    A) This is the worse job my Mom has ever gotten me!
    B) Did you just say....?


    End of Chapter 1

    :p
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <a> errr, mate, I think I've got some bad news for you...
    <b> what?
    <a> I'm not sure how to say this...
    <b> what?!
    <a> ...
    <b> spit it out!
    <a> I think I can see a grey hair in your beard
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Chapter 2: The Eternity Continues.

    *Time has no purpose to poor A and B....months or years could go by for these souls and they'll never realize it. Good thing for them it has only been five hours on duty so far!*

    A) You're lucky as hell that Ferengi replicated me another bag of Pringles Classic.
    B) *Giggles*
    A) Why are you laughing? You annoyed the hell out of me because you ate my only food at the time...
    B) It's not that. *Stares at bag*
    A) *Looks down at the Pringles Classic bag* Wait a minute.....when does a Ferengi give anything away for FREE!?
    B) *Bursts out laughing*
    A) I hate this job sooo much...
    B) It's not that bad.
    A) We have to stand here for an eternity remember?
    B) Oh yeah....

    *Three more hours pass*

    A) *Sighs*
    B) What's wrong now?
    A) Nothing...I guess I'm finally accepting my fate...
    B) That's the spirit !
    A) At least we aren't under constant attack.
    B) See, there are some positives to this post!
    A) I guess you're right!
    B) Hmmm I just thought about something.
    A) Yeah, what?
    B) Why hasn't the Admiral stepped out of his office at all today?
    A) Maybe he's working?
    B) I'm not sure...I have a strange feeling.
    A) Well that diplomat from Orion didn't seem that ba.......wait a minute!
    B) Yeah.....
    A) Oh....
    B) Should we...try to open a comm to his office; seeing that we can never move from this spot?
    A) Ummm....yeeeeeees....?
    B) *Clears throat*
    A) Just open a channel B!
    B) This is Security Officer B to Admiral Quinn's Office.
    A) Is his comm down?
    B) Admiral...?

    * The comm channel opens to ruffling in the background*

    Admiral Quinn) *Semi panting* What is it? Why did you interupt the....important negotiation that I'm having with a diplomat?
    A) B was jus..
    Admiral Quinn) B can speak for himself!
    B) Well Sir...I was just getting worried about you seeing that it has been almost all day sinse you left your office.
    Admiral Quinn) Well nothing is wrong B, just the opposite.....I need to get back to this negotiation B, the diplot here is getting restless...don't bother me again B unless it is a true emergency.

    *The comm channel is terminated*

    A) Why was he.....panting?
    B) Lets not talk about this anymore...
    A) Soooo.....yeah.
    B) I know...this is boring you.
    A) No it's not that...it's just that...well....this doorway is boring.
    B) What?
    A) Just look at it....what's the theme here? Futuristic Grey walls with a wood-colored steel door?
    B) Just shut up A...
    A) Ouch.
    B) Sorry, but....well you know the saying "there are no stupid questions?"
    A) *Smiles* Yeah!
    B) You just contradicted it....
    A) *Frowns*
    B) Well...our eternity in what I'm starting to believe is Hell must continue.
    A) Yup....
    B) Well....at least we aren't just standing alone....although these conversations haven't been that great...
    A) Hmmm....I wonder if Quinn will give us a three dimensional chess board to pass the time?
    B) .......way to prove my previous statement A....


    End of Chapter 2

    :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Hmm no fans of The Adventures of A and B! ? :p
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <A> Kirk or Picard?
    <B> Dude, I don't swing that way...
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    They are rotating them out. I was just there for a few minutes before my old laptop crashed and there was a Catian security guard. Glad to see they rotate them out.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    A: Hey.
    B: M'Yeah?
    A: D'You ever wonder why we're here?
    B: It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some...cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything, you know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.
    A: What? I mean why are we out here, in this hallway?
    B: Oh. Uhhhhh. Yeah.
    A: And what's all that stuff about God?
    B: Uhhhhh. Hm? Nothing.
    A: Do you want to talk about it?
    B: No.
    A: Sure?
    B: Yeah.
    A: Seriously though, why are we out here? Admiral Quinn is like eighty levels ahead of us.
    B: Mmmhmmm.
    A: I mean, the only reason that he is in charge is because he single-handedly destroyed an entire Klingon fleet by blinking his eyes. And why would they be attacking his room of all places and not somewhere important. I mean all he does nowadays is stand around and send people to speak with Commander Winters.
    B: Well, yeah, that's because we're fighting each other. The Federation and the Klingons. And I guess he needs us to guard him.
    A: Yeah, but I mean... even if Klingons were to attack. And come to this room. What could we do? All we have all these tutorial phasers. That would like...tickle them.
    B: What's up with that anyway? I mean, I remember when phasers would vaporize a guy in one shot. Last time I shot someone they took like twenty phasers shots to the face before they went down. And that was a Bolian. Imagine how many times we would have to shoot a Klingon to bring them down.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    A: Ummm.... What's the protocol when it comes to the Undine again?
    You know, that totally reminded me of this comic.

    Also: damn, those guys aren't even on the live server yet and already have their own meme. :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <A> Good Morning
    <B> Oh my God, you have cake! Where'd you get cake?
    <A> Admiral Quinn's daughter's birthday was today, but I think they are all out.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    Oh boy, now they start reminding me of these two.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    I can easily picture them copying Henchman 21 and 24 dialogs.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    <A> That was a fun party last night!
    <B> Yes it was.
    <A> Did you see the way Ensign Chapman was acting?
    <B> I know she was all over Steve!
    <A> God, I wish they'd have gotten a room.
    <B> I know. But it won't last long.
    <A> Why not?
    <B> I know Steve...
    *door opens and admiral starts to walk through*
    <B> what a f**king pr**k.
    *admiral stops and looks at B; continues on his way*
    <B> *facepalm* Oh my God!
    <A> Dude, I'm about to p**s my pants, that was so funny!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited January 2011
    So at what point does the community start A/B fics? ;)
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