This is Commander T'lom reporting live from the Hobus system....
A Romulan Battle group in the Hobus system detected and destroyed an unidentified federation superweapon. The commander of the battlegroup stated that his ship fired one salvo and the unidentified craft exploded proving that it was packed with explosives. Small boxes with odd colorful coverings and what appeared to be ribbons on them were scattered throughout the Hobus system. Recovery teams suspect these boxes are actually delivery platforms for some new biological terror weapon designed by the federation.
Salvage and research teams have identified a previously unknown species flying the craft. They are amazed as the creatures resemble descriptions of an Earth species of animal called Reindeer. Scientists are unsure if the creatures were federation augments or a new species. However on site reports have come in that lead us to believe that these creatures were slaves of the Federation as a Federation criminal in a red and white 'suit' was controlling them with a force whip.
The Romulan Star Empire is on high alert in case this is another unprovoked attack by the Federation criminals. All citizens are urged to stay at home and arm themselves. Shoot to kill any unidentified individuals wearing red suits. Report any bodies to your local Section Commanders.
Who sends out a fat man calling for hoes with a bag full of toys in an archane vehicle pulled by a bunch of unneutered male cervidae? Feds and their shinanigans....
What was covered up in the broadcast by Imperial authorities:
Sending out the packages were a dwarf species of Vulcans, obvioulsy bio-engineered for the tasks of stealth and deception.
The Tal-Shiar is offering a bounty to any citizen who can bring back an intact specimen to study, preferably alive. All previous attempts to capture such prey were met with a strange giggle and a sudden disapearance of the small beings.
Intelligence believes the dwarf-Vulcans somehow suicide themselves with emotion and disintigrate.
Also, it would seem black lumps of some carbon substance are being left on planets throughout the Empire, with Klingons reporting them in greater numbers. Our Federation sources reveil that is called coal, and was used to fuel old machines. What significance this has, is being studied by our top science officers.
This is Commander T'lom reporting live from the Hobus system....
A Romulan Battle group in the Hobus system detected and destroyed an unidentified federation superweapon. The commander of the battlegroup stated that his ship fired one salvo and the unidentified craft exploded proving that it was packed with explosives. Small boxes with odd colorful coverings and what appeared to be ribbons on them were scattered throughout the Hobus system. Recovery teams suspect these boxes are actually delivery platforms for some new biological terror weapon designed by the federation.
Salvage and research teams have identified a previously unknown species flying the craft. They are amazed as the creatures resemble descriptions of an Earth species of animal called Reindeer. Scientists are unsure if the creatures were federation augments or a new species. However on site reports have come in that lead us to believe that these creatures were slaves of the Federation as a Federation criminal in a red and white 'suit' was controlling them with a force whip.
The Romulan Star Empire is on high alert in case this is another unprovoked attack by the Federation criminals. All citizens are urged to stay at home and arm themselves. Shoot to kill any unidentified individuals wearing red suits. Report any bodies to your local Section Commanders.
Back to you in the studio......
This is what caused the war between the Klingons and Romulans. Why you ask? Because with the destruction at the hands of the Romulans, the Klingons did not get their snack. They love reindeer you know.
Comments
Thanks!
Glad to help lighten your work day.
I get it, I just hate "in universe" jokes about out-of-universe-ish holidays.
If it was shorter it would replace my current sig
Sending out the packages were a dwarf species of Vulcans, obvioulsy bio-engineered for the tasks of stealth and deception.
The Tal-Shiar is offering a bounty to any citizen who can bring back an intact specimen to study, preferably alive. All previous attempts to capture such prey were met with a strange giggle and a sudden disapearance of the small beings.
Intelligence believes the dwarf-Vulcans somehow suicide themselves with emotion and disintigrate.
Also, it would seem black lumps of some carbon substance are being left on planets throughout the Empire, with Klingons reporting them in greater numbers. Our Federation sources reveil that is called coal, and was used to fuel old machines. What significance this has, is being studied by our top science officers.
More details to come as they happen.
This is what caused the war between the Klingons and Romulans. Why you ask? Because with the destruction at the hands of the Romulans, the Klingons did not get their snack. They love reindeer you know.