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Hey Devs, you wanna piece o' me? YOU WANNA PIECE??

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
OK Devs, you been kicking TRIBBLE, taking names, putting in extra work hours and innovating whole regions of the MMO genre since you launched this flagship of badassery. Well, pilgrim, now I got some questions for ya to take ya down a notch, cuz yer heads are getting dangerously Bynar-ish, what with all that recent success you been flushin' yourselves with. Brace yourselves.

Why is there a 1978 Cylon Basestar outside of Spacedock? No wonder people keep screaming for Federation Carriers, Cryptic—by the gods you're confusing people!

The Galaxy-X and the Olympic Science Vessel. The Constellation Class (USS Stargazer type) and the Oberth science ship. If you've figured out the differences between those two groups of ships by the time you've read this far, then you have a wallet with the words Bad Mother****er written on it. For everyone else, the former is a group of ship from an alternate timeline in TNG (which never happened because the Enterprise-D was destroyed), and the latter were featured more than once on the same series. Guess which ones are in the game? Not that I MIND this logical hiccup in an otherwise sensible progression of ships (my Tac officer owns a Gal-X, after all), its just that the omission causes me to furrow my brow, pout my lips and scratch me wee head.

My cursor. That is all.

I was in love with my Joined Trill for her Efficient Captain trait. I exhibited pleasant surprise upon discovering that Bolians, Aliens, and Benzites could have it to. When I made my Vulcan skipper, I found to my dismay that Vulcans couldn't have the trait and considering the tenet that defined them as a race, that just somehow didn't seem...logical.

From STTMP: Saurians, but no Deltans? From STTAS: Catians, but no Edoans? From STTNG: Pakleds but...aw who am I kiddin'--ANYbody else. How did Bolians and Benzites make the list of races you can play for free at game start, but we gotta pay for Tellarites, who were among the founding members of the Federation?

Speaking of Tellarites... according to Memory Alpha, “On average, Tellarites are shorter than*Humans.” I get that—on average. But--space dwarves? Really, guys? C'mon, now. REALLY?

On of my Voyager bridges looks like a Klingon designed it. No, I'm not kidding—its got two stripper poles, one each to either side of my captains chair. I know they are stripper poles because they always attract my female Bridge Officers. (On second thought, maybe an Orion chick designed it....)

Man, I loves me some Nebula Advanced Research Cruiser. Even if it does look like H.P. Lovecraft took a Galaxy-class Explorer, shoved it down a Cthulhu wormhole and shat it out the other side. I just love, and I can't help it. Now tell me why it has no impulse engines.

Some say, in the darkest reaches of spacedock and Deep Space Nine, in forbidden whispers and furtive asides, that the Sovereign is the premiere tactical Cruiser in the game, but that captains of 150 year old Excelsiors laugh at them because they can mount TWO bridge officers with Rank III abilities (in the Lt. Comm. Tactical slot and the Commander Engineering slot) vice the Assault Cruiser's one. I had my Assault Cruiser's (USS Royal Andoria) Public Relations Officer try to proclaim to the Universe at large this wasn't the case, but he went missing. I later discovered he was abducted somewhere in an ESD Zone, his body torn limb from limb and all his books burned. A profanity was written on his remains and captioned with the cryptic phrase “There are five lights.” His shirt wasn't even red.

Now Cryptic, you guys have a damn fine game. You know this, and I mean it—You've come further in a few months than at least two other media based games—Warhammer being one and Age of Conan being the other in my experience—ever did in a comparable amount of time, and you have avoided the developer pitfalls of a SOE or a Funcom. This **** is more funny than annoying, more nerd-rage fodder than complaint. I truly love this game. You gotta believe this **** is true. I wouln't take to the forums for the first time after having played since February if I didn’t. Please take these notes in the spirit they were intended—just a happy player's questions, not a fundamentalist fanboy's criticisms.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    You win the Internet. Please collect your prize at the door to reality whenever you exit.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Now tell me why it has no impulse engines.

    Funny stuff. Believe it or not, I believe the impulse question was already answered. Its because the ship model they used for the show didn't have any impulse engines on it. You'd think when they moved to a CGI ship instead of a physical model, some clever artist would have found a spot to put them. Apparently not.

    And Deltans? Thats the race you want? Make a bald female human toon and put an oath of celibacy on her bio. Done and done. :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    1234567890
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    boglejam wrote: »
    Funny stuff. Believe it or not, I believe the impulse question was already answered. Its because the ship model they used for the show didn't have any impulse engines on it. You'd think when they moved to a CGI ship instead of a physical model, some clever artist would have found a spot to put them. Apparently not.

    If they added them the people who demand canon would start sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    I wish they would just return to focusing on touchups, instead of adding new content i]and their zoo of bugs[/i to sate the frantic WANT MORE! WANT NEW! WANT BETTER! NOW! NOW! NOW! collective...

    Every time they updated just adding blinking running lights and small texture tweaks to ships, I felt more excitement and happiness from those small attention to detail than all the Season 3 changes combined...
    Interiors of stations and bridges are still 2x too large in scale to player characters. A lot of the ships are also out of scale to eachother, aswell.
    Though, speaking of Season 3, it really does amuse me that the sector space versions of Drozona, K7 and DS9 are closer in scale to the player ships than the in-system monstrousity versions haha
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Revlot wrote:
    Some people gotta vent warp plasma elsewise their core breaches...let 'em vent!

    Just be careful not to stand downwind from them. Some people's warp plasma can kill. :p

    @OP: Epic...just epic. I enjoyed the read. :cool:
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    I agree about Tellarites, they should have been free.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    I agree about Tellarites, they should have been free.

    No. Like Packleds, they should pay me to use them.

    This was no vent of plasma for the OP, this was a full on brain core breech, I had to vent plasma just to prevent a mental shut down after reading.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Good read! Just some comments on some of the assumptions:

    Regarding the Galaxy-X and Olympic. I always assumed Q brought Picard to a real future. That is, why create a completely fabricated future when you can just throw him up in a typical timeline? Besides, I don't think the destruction of the Enterprise-D would have any bearing on a Galaxy-class Refit design or the Olympic-class vessel.

    Regarding the lack of Nebula impulse engines. You're not going to like this: canon. In reality, the Nebula was designed without visible impulse engines. From Memory Alpha:
    A careful inspection of the Nebula-class model reveals that it has no visible impulse engines. In a recent entry on Doug Drexler's weblog, Rick Sternbach indicated that he envisioned the ship's impulse drives as being hidden behind baffles to scatter their signature for stealth reasons. He added that "modern" Starfleet vessel impulse engines operated on little conventional rocket thrust anyways, being more of a sub-warp subspace drive.

    Other than those, great way to take the time to communicate your comments about the game. :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Thanks for making me laugh! That was a good read....."Space Dwarves! REALLY!!!" BWAHAHAH!!!!!!

    Good points though on the ships you mentioned. I would love to see the Oberth or the Constellation in the game....I do think I remember reading in an engineering report that they were adding the Obeth, though.

    Anyway, thanks for the laugh. :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    "Cap'n! She canna take much more of 'dis!"

    "Drop out of warp! Shut down all systems!"

    - My brain for about 3 seconds after reading that. I dont know whether to call that a rant or a very clever attempt at humour. Hell I dont even want to call it anything.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Caffeine is a helluva drug. This post is proof.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    I read the post in a Mr T voice and was very amused.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    actually it wasn't an alternate timeline, it was the future, and it showed how starfleet ships i.e the enterprise had developed.

    true they destroyed the anomaly in all three, past ,present and future, but the future was not an alternate timeline.

    since we're in the future now, 2409, actually 30 years, it fits, that ship could have been developed anywhere between picards loss of command of the enterprise and where we saw him in the events in the future of all good things, which is a man which a disease.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    The Galaxy-X and the Olympic Science Vessel....For everyone else, the former is a group of ship from an alternate timeline in TNG (which never happened because the Enterprise-D was destroyed), and the latter were featured more than once on the same series. Guess which ones are in the game? Not that I MIND this logical hiccup in an otherwise sensible progression of ships (my Tac officer owns a Gal-X, after all), its just that the omission causes me to furrow my brow, pout my lips and scratch me wee head.

    Yes its illogical to have the Gal-X because Picard (who clearly remembers all the events that he witnessed in that alt time line due to warning Worf and Riker about their falling out) would not bother to tell Starfleet about a super powered galaxy refit he encountered in this time line in the report he obviously would have filed on the incident - mankind almost being wiped from existence by the Q is something I'd imagine Starfleet would like to know about. And Starfleet upon hearing of this super powered ship, would of course never attempt to build it.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Fun read, bonus points for not making it a wall of text :):p
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    I think he's right about the Assualt Cruiser, the only thing "Assault" about it is it's name.
    COM'ON CRYPTICS, FIX THE ASSAULT CRUISER PPPLLLLLZZZZZZZZZ
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    I pick just one thing:

    Assault Cruiser Bridge Officer Slots vs Advanced Heavy Cruiser Retrofit Bridge Officer Slots
    1. Commander Engineer vs Commander Engineer
    2. Lieutenant Commander Engineer vs Lt Lieutenant Commander Tactical
    3. Lt. Science vs Lt. Science
    4. Lt. Tactical vs Lt. Engineer
    5. Ensign Tactical vs Ensign Engineer

    Neither ship has more slots then the other. They even have the same number of engineering and tactical BO powers (just not the same levels). The Assault Cruiser can field a better defensive skill, the Advanced Heavy Cruiser Retrofit can field a better offensive skill.

    That's how it has been since the ship became available on Holodeck. The only thing relevant to this discussion that was changed is that RSP was nerfed. End result - higher level Engineering slots became more valuable, since there no longer was an OP skill in the Lt.Engineering area.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Some say, in the darkest reaches of spacedock and Deep Space Nine, in forbidden whispers and furtive asides, that the Sovereign is the premiere tactical Cruiser in the game, but that captains of 150 year old Excelsiors laugh at them because they can mount TWO bridge officers with Rank III abilities (in the Lt. Comm. Tactical slot and the Commander Engineering slot) vice the Assault Cruiser's one.

    Yeah the Sovereign can do 2x Rank 3 skills as well, just that both of them are Engineering, infact I think I have 3 skills that are Rank 3 from my Boffs (EWP3, EngT3 and EPtS3 and yay for being an Eng Captain), and there are afew Tactical minded Engineering usable skills.

    Emergency Power to Weapons 3, Directed Energy Modulation 3 and then add in Aceton Field 1, boosts your weapons power, shield penatration and lowers their DPS. A single Excelsior can't do all 3, while a Sovereign can.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    It is threads like these that make you want to fix bugs yourself. If you could I mean :). Great post!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    maina wrote: »
    No. Like Packleds, they should pay me to use them.

    .

    Ain't that the truth.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    actually who says that Q was responsible for the time jumps in All good things?
    It could just aswell be the anomaly that made picard jump throuh time + his disease he got in the future...

    don't allways blame Q for everything, he was just there to watch, judge and maybe even help Picard in his own way.

    and don't allways say that Q makes everything up all the time.
    the future changed after picard was back, but not to a point where Spaceships would not be build.

    Also in DS9 there was the USS Venture Galaxy Class Refit who allready had the necelle attachements on top, no 3rd necelle though.


    I'd rather ask why not every FED ship has a cloaking device by now, and why not every ship has the Batmobile Armor from the last Voyager Episode, that should be common tech by now.

    But yeah, gimme Ambassador, Oberth and Constellation class please.
    Also a D5 Battle Cruiser for the Klingons would be nice.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    If I recall correctly, I'm pretty sure Q pretty much admitted he (or at least, the Continuum) was direclty responsible for the timeshifts. I don't think anything ever suggested that the anomaly/disease was a cause for the shifts (rather, the disease created conflict/doubt as to whether or not this was really happening)

    At least, that's how I perceived the episode.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    Z3R0B4NG wrote: »
    actually who says that Q was responsible for the time jumps in All good things?

    Q does admit to Picard that he is the one making him jump through time in the scene with him as the Judge giving Picard an idea of what's happening.

    Capt. Picard: Are you responsible for my shifting through time?
    Q: I'll answer that question if you promise you won't tell anyone.
    Q: [leans in and whispers] Yes!
    Capt. Picard: Why?
    Q: Sorry! That's not a yes or no question. You forfeit the rest of your questions.

    Then at the end he mentions the part about the helping hand was his idea. Granted Q is so egotistical that he could simply be taking credit for something that was not his doing, but since this is never brought up or explored we just have to take his word for it.

    I definitely agree though that just because this was an alt time line doesn't mean that Starfleet wouldn't build the ships from it. Either through a natural progression or upon hearing Picard's report on the matter. Who is to say that Starfleet wasn't already coming up with the idea to refit their galaxies so they could continue to be the heavy hitters of the fleet for a long time, after all they made the decision to do it in the alternate time line.

    And I agree as well that its a little weird that all Fed ships don't have a cloak by now, though I can understand why the game wouldn't make all Feds able to cloak.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2010
    OK Devs, you been kicking TRIBBLE, taking names, putting in extra work hours and innovating whole regions of the MMO genre since you launched this flagship of badassery. Well, pilgrim, now I got some questions for ya to take ya down a notch, cuz yer heads are getting dangerously Bynar-ish, what with all that recent success you been flushin' yourselves with. Brace yourselves.

    Why is there a 1978 Cylon Basestar outside of Spacedock? No wonder people keep screaming for Federation Carriers, Cryptic—by the gods you're confusing people!

    The Galaxy-X and the Olympic Science Vessel. The Constellation Class (USS Stargazer type) and the Oberth science ship. If you've figured out the differences between those two groups of ships by the time you've read this far, then you have a wallet with the words Bad Mother****er written on it. For everyone else, the former is a group of ship from an alternate timeline in TNG (which never happened because the Enterprise-D was destroyed), and the latter were featured more than once on the same series. Guess which ones are in the game? Not that I MIND this logical hiccup in an otherwise sensible progression of ships (my Tac officer owns a Gal-X, after all), its just that the omission causes me to furrow my brow, pout my lips and scratch me wee head.

    My cursor. That is all.

    I was in love with my Joined Trill for her Efficient Captain trait. I exhibited pleasant surprise upon discovering that Bolians, Aliens, and Benzites could have it to. When I made my Vulcan skipper, I found to my dismay that Vulcans couldn't have the trait and considering the tenet that defined them as a race, that just somehow didn't seem...logical.

    From STTMP: Saurians, but no Deltans? From STTAS: Catians, but no Edoans? From STTNG: Pakleds but...aw who am I kiddin'--ANYbody else. How did Bolians and Benzites make the list of races you can play for free at game start, but we gotta pay for Tellarites, who were among the founding members of the Federation?

    Speaking of Tellarites... according to Memory Alpha, “On average, Tellarites are shorter than*Humans.” I get that—on average. But--space dwarves? Really, guys? C'mon, now. REALLY?

    On of my Voyager bridges looks like a Klingon designed it. No, I'm not kidding—its got two stripper poles, one each to either side of my captains chair. I know they are stripper poles because they always attract my female Bridge Officers. (On second thought, maybe an Orion chick designed it....)

    Man, I loves me some Nebula Advanced Research Cruiser. Even if it does look like H.P. Lovecraft took a Galaxy-class Explorer, shoved it down a Cthulhu wormhole and shat it out the other side. I just love, and I can't help it. Now tell me why it has no impulse engines.

    Some say, in the darkest reaches of spacedock and Deep Space Nine, in forbidden whispers and furtive asides, that the Sovereign is the premiere tactical Cruiser in the game, but that captains of 150 year old Excelsiors laugh at them because they can mount TWO bridge officers with Rank III abilities (in the Lt. Comm. Tactical slot and the Commander Engineering slot) vice the Assault Cruiser's one. I had my Assault Cruiser's (USS Royal Andoria) Public Relations Officer try to proclaim to the Universe at large this wasn't the case, but he went missing. I later discovered he was abducted somewhere in an ESD Zone, his body torn limb from limb and all his books burned. A profanity was written on his remains and captioned with the cryptic phrase “There are five lights.” His shirt wasn't even red.

    Now Cryptic, you guys have a damn fine game. You know this, and I mean it—You've come further in a few months than at least two other media based games—Warhammer being one and Age of Conan being the other in my experience—ever did in a comparable amount of time, and you have avoided the developer pitfalls of a SOE or a Funcom. This **** is more funny than annoying, more nerd-rage fodder than complaint. I truly love this game. You gotta believe this **** is true. I wouln't take to the forums for the first time after having played since February if I didn’t. Please take these notes in the spirit they were intended—just a happy player's questions, not a fundamentalist fanboy's criticisms.

    I can't wait to play some of your Foundry created missions. If they are half as interesting as your posts are i mean.
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