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My joke "I Quit" thread

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
edited July 2010 in PvP Gameplay
I have no intention to quit, but I read so many complaints on the forums I thought I'd sort of paraphrase them for my own (and hopefully your) entertainment.



Dear Cryptic - this game is BROKEN! I can't believe I voluntarily paid for this TRIBBLE! This is the most bugged game I've ever seen, and it is imbalanced to the point that it obviously favors [insert faction here]!

(Fed) You made Klingons waaaay OP. Their weapons are so much better than ours and cloak is obviously an IWIN button. The fact that Klingons often beat me 15-0 should be an indicator of this. Not to mention, I'm ALWAYS outnumbered. Every single game! In addition, I think Cryptic focuses too much time on balancing PvP combat while ignoring PvE viability.

(Kling) Why do you hate the Klingon faction so much? You guys don't even read the Klingon forums do you? Where's our PvE content? Where's our ship customization? Why do we only get two sectors? Where's our crafting and research? Why do Feds get more C-store items? And why is the Fedball so strong? Fed ships are stronger than Klink ships - how are we supposed to defeat a whole group of them?

After you released patch [insert patch release here] this game totally SUCKS! My [insert OP ability here] got nerfed - now I'm practically worthless! I get owned and/or can't own anyone in one shot.

I've been trying to be patient, but every time you do something I don't like it totally ruins the game for me. I am a paying customer and I have my voice! I'm sure you will change the game to my liking if I threaten to cancel paying you 15 bucks a month (or god forbid cancel my pre-paid lifetime account).

So until you read this thread and decide to fix the game the way I like it, you'll lose out on my contribution to 0.0001% of your total revenue.


Sincerely,

Some Douchebag
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    I Finnished all stf's in 1day, WHERE IS MORE Content?!!? I PVP 12hours per day and there is capture and hold and arena, give some more choises, and my battlecruiser doesn't have spiral lance nerf something.. and klingons are op when i play my fed and feds kill me when i play my klingon nerf both factions!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    Zorena wrote:
    and klingons are op when i play my fed and feds kill me when i play my klingon nerf both factions!

    Haha nerf both factions, nice :) Let's keep this rolling :P
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    Either they nerf Romulan Warbirds RIGHT FREAKIN NOW ... or I get me and my entire True Way Cardassian faction only fleet to quit the game and post blogs about how much Cryptic hates Cardies.

    The clock is ticking. Coderanger, Stormshade, Q ... make this so. Nerf the Rommies or we Cardies are outta here!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    I was owned in pvp today..... way to Op w/that single bo....
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    Can i have your stuff?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    You mean my 60-something stacks of batteries? Yeah ok.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    Things keep happening to me and I don't understand why so it's obvious my opponent is cheating. I shouldn't be responsible for keeping up with all of these different abilities and counter abilities. If I lose you are clearly over powered and if I win you suck.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    I got hit by a nerf gun in my childhood years.

    I demand Cryptic compensate me with 2 million USD.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    I'm reporting you... I know your exploiting all those skills that I don't use.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    Omfg Rsp Is Too Powerful I Gotta Go ....


    Sincerely,

    Random Baddie.


    Ps I'm Bad.

    P.P.S. PLEASE DON'T NERF CANNON SCATTER VOLLEY IT'S UNDERPOWERED!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    I think all combat should be decided with a game of jacks. . .make it so!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    DEVS!

    Some players are just smarter and more talented and/or dedicated than I am. But Star Trek is for the MASSES, not the elite!

    Please create the PvP IQ test. You CAN'T PLAY Pvp unless you take a Cryptic approved IQ test: the higher your score, the greater your handicap. The lower your score, the greater your, er, BUFFED-NESS!!

    Furthermore, all players should be flying precisely the same ships with exactly the same weapons and consoles. NO UNFAIR ADVANTAGES!

    Harrison Bergeron Forever!!!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited July 2010
    --A Ker'rat player--

    Dear Cryptic,

    I've noticed that lately people are making my shiny look less shiny and sometimes flamey. I've asked them to stop because I'm on their side but they don't listen even when I USE CAPS AND SWEAR LOTS IN ZONE CHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111 I just want to do the mission but every time I respawn they shoot me more and I have no option but to rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaagggggggggggeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! (that last bit is a bit true... can't exit zone while dead!)

    Sincerely.

    Never seen this bug before, evah

    --Alternate version--

    Dear Cryptic,

    I've had enough of those n00bs in ker'rat that are feds but showing as friendly to me, the superior klingon player. It's clearly an exploit and I threaten them that I'll report them for blatantly abusing this to avoid dying to me. I don't care about the real reasons behind it or that the player has likely just finished pvp which causes this most of the time. I'll list the players here and you better make it right or I'm gonna whine more and more and get all (both?) my klingon buddies to do the same!

    Sincerely

    Entitled to everything, always right, fix the game to suit me NOW
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