What if Scotty's grandmother had wheels?

iconians

One thing I have found extremely interesting on the STO forums is how many "What if" scenarios people like to talk about. It's a very interesting thought process that helps us reflect on the past and ask ourselves the very human question, "What if I did something different back then?"

We've all been there. We all make mistakes. And sometimes we make decisions that haunt us for the rest of our lives. It helps define us for who we are as a species.

"What if STO didn't have the Star Trek IP tied to it? The game would be dead in six months." "What if Cryptic worked more on this instead of that? We wouldn't have the current issues we have today."

But I'm not here to ask those questions. I'm here to ask a much more personal question. In Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Montgomery Scott mentions that if his grandmother had wheels, she would be a wagon. This is in response to the Excelsior having transwarp drive (which, of course, did not work).

Scott asks a very good question. What if his grandmother did have wheels? We know from TNG that Wheelchairs are known to have existed in the past -- a holographic representation of Stephen Hawking was known to be a program in the Enterprise-D's holodeck library. And if we want to look at the 2009 Star Trek film, at the end Christopher Pike is seen in a wheelchair.

But let's say that is not quite the wheels Mr. Scott was referring to. Because people in wheelchairs are not classified as 'wagons'. What if his grandmother had wheels for limbs and traveled on all fours in order to get optimal traction. As a wagon, she would be unable to feed or care for herself since her wheels prevented her from using the dextrous limbs human beings are known to have.

If his grandmother truly did have wheels, and was classified as a wagon -- what then would that make Mr. Scott? Would he still be considered a human being despite having 1/4th Wagon DNA from his grandmother's side of the family? Would Mr. Scott be able to become the Chief Engineer of the Enterprise if Starfleet knew of his parentage which included a grandmother legally identified as a wagon?

If so, how would the Enterprise's 5 year mission have turned out if his grandmother had wheels and identified as a wagon? What decisions might have been made differently, or would everything have been the same?

Would Commander Scott still have sabotaged the Excelsior's transwarp drive without a rhetorical quip like that? Would the Excelsior's transwarp drive have worked if Scott looked at it differently through the eyes of someone with a grandmother who was a wagon?

Discuss.

starswordc

I think you think too much.

artan42

She would be a wagon.

A T6 battlecloaked 6/4 guned pilot/intel super battle escort wagon for Feds.

grandnaguszek1

I'm not really sure but I think he would have just rolled through life as he always did.

dabelgrave

Wagons are for hauling. If Scotty's grandmother was a wagon, what would she haul?

jonsills

dabelgrave wrote: »

Wagons are for hauling. If Scotty's grandmother was a wagon, what would she haul?

"I didn't mean to say your grandmother should be hauling garbage. I meant to say she should be hauled away AS garbage!"

<cue bar fight>

kimony

dabelgrave wrote: »

Wagons are for hauling. If Scotty's grandmother was a wagon, what would she haul?

She would haul Equus asinus!

moonshadowdark

I think you need to lay off the Risan weed, Ico.

hawku001x

I think there's a greater conspiracy here. There is a chance his grandmother did have wheels and that she was a wagon. To curb any doubts, Scotty deployed a kind of "elimination of possibilities" by presenting such a concept as implausible and absurd, when, in reality, the situation couldn't be further from the truth.

chestertrek

If Scotty's grandmother had Wheels, she would have been one of these!

steamwright

Did you just reboot My Mother the Car? :eek:

iconians

dabelgrave wrote: »

Wagons are for hauling. If Scotty's grandmother was a wagon, what would she haul?

That's supposing that wagon-people in the Federation would be used for hauling. If Scotty's grandmother was a wagon, then it could be feasible other people are wagons too. To automatically assume wagons would be used for hauling might indicate some sort of slave state or indentured servitude.

Wagons could be like Soong-type Androids and declared sentient and free. What would we use for hauling then, if wagons were freed from the oppressive bonds of the Federation?

Carts?

mhall85

What if Scotty's grandmother didn't have wheels?

Would that always prohibit her from consideration as a wagon?

I mean, what if she had anti-gravity units, instead of wheels? Could she still be a wagon?

iconians

mhall85 wrote: »

What if Scotty's grandmother didn't have wheels?

Would that always prohibit her from consideration as a wagon?

I mean, what if she had anti-gravity units, instead of wheels? Could she still be a wagon?

That's a good point. Why does Scotty have something against anti-gravity technology?