"Explore Delta Volanis, Mission 2"

kirksplat

My 2nd attempt to make an exploration clusters mission is now live. I would really appreciate any feedback, notice of typos, etc. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement from part 1.

"Explore Delta Volanis, Mission 2." by kirkfat. You don't need to have played Mission 1. They are stand alone stories.

Explore strange new worlds. Seek out new life and civilizations. Boldly go where no one has gone before.


Feedback, please.

ashkrik23

Churning these out fast aren't ya, :P?

kirksplat

ashkrik23 wrote: »

Churning these out fast aren't ya, :P?

Yep. It's an experiment. Rather than spending 50 hours on sets, I'm just churning out a story, with minimal maps and other distractions. I'll be lucky if these play long enough to qualify for rewards.

starfarertheta

A Review of Delta Volanis, Mission 2, a Foundry Mission by Kirkfat.

General Opinion: A short but sweet mission of exploration that could work well as a Star Trek episode. The mystery and strangeness of what transpires may leave you feeling wonder, or just plain bewilderment.

Worth a play through if you're looking to take a (short) dive into the unknown.

Highlights:
- Excellent map work.
- Mystery.

For the Author (!Spoilers!):
_________________________________

">>>" Suggested dialogue changes



- "I have no theories as it its composition..." >>> "I have no theories as to its composition..."

- Suggestion: To make this mission more interactive, you could try replacing some of the "continue" buttons with player actions, the player noticing the action of others, or something that I couldn't think of when I wrote this.

- Suggestion: For the dream sequence you could try adding one or two interactive objects, such as opening a door, in order to give the player the opportunity to do more than traveling from point A to B.


All in all, I thought this mission was done really well.


__________________________________

End of Review

kirksplat

starfarertheta wrote: »

A Review of Delta Volanis, Mission 2, a Foundry Mission by Kirkfat.

General Opinion: A short but sweet mission of exploration that could work well as a Star Trek episode. The mystery and strangeness of what transpires may leave you feeling wonder, or just plain bewilderment.

Worth a play through if you're looking to take a (short) dive into the unknown.

Highlights:
- Excellent map work.
- Mystery.

For the Author (!Spoilers!):
_________________________________

">>>" Suggested dialogue changes



- "I have no theories as it its composition..." >>> "I have no theories as to its composition..."

- Suggestion: To make this mission more interactive, you could try replacing some of the "continue" buttons with player actions, the player noticing the action of others, or something that I couldn't think of when I wrote this.

- Suggestion: For the dream sequence you could try adding one or two interactive objects, such as opening a door, in order to give the player the opportunity to do more than traveling from point A to B.


All in all, I thought this mission was done really well.


__________________________________

End of Review

Thanks for the feedback and the note on the typo. I think I'll put a door at the ship spot, where the player has to go through the ship. I hear that part is weird to navigate, so a big flashing door will help.

Thank you for the suggestions.

isthisscience

I really like these. They work great as a short bit as Trek-style exploration (Trexploration?) and will really come into their own in large numbers. Feels quite episodic (if you think of FEs as movies and most missions as part of an arc of major stories, this feels more like the bread-and-butter episodes that make Trek feel more day-to-day rather than operatic like a lot of Sci-fi).

The reports at the start of number 1 I think detract. I know you said you put them in to reuse officers, but if you're going for short and sweet exploration, I'd say avoid introducing any new characters and stick to the core of Captain and Boffs to carry the story. Fun bits though, like with the replicator, are nice touches that humanise when kept short and incidental.

The stories as a whole have a good balance between keeping it simple and making sure it is not carrying over what make the genesis system so dull. Taking scanning a system then adding that PD element with the rover just brought it up to be a lot more interesting without getting carried away. That being said, in the second one I'd like more made of the ending. In a way it was very Trek (I can think of a number of endings like that) but without the cinematic scope and acting it feels a bit light. Not sure how to add the emphasis to counter that, but that's what I felt with it.

You say you keep the maps simple, but you're certainly still creative with it. I loved the dream map!

kirksplat

isthisscience wrote: »

I really like these. They work great as a short bit as Trek-style exploration (Trexploration?) and will really come into their own in large numbers. Feels quite episodic (if you think of FEs as movies and most missions as part of an arc of major stories, this feels more like the bread-and-butter episodes that make Trek feel more day-to-day rather than operatic like a lot of Sci-fi).

The reports at the start of number 1 I think detract. I know you said you put them in to reuse officers, but if you're going for short and sweet exploration, I'd say avoid introducing any new characters and stick to the core of Captain and Boffs to carry the story. Fun bits though, like with the replicator, are nice touches that humanise when kept short and incidental.

The stories as a whole have a good balance between keeping it simple and making sure it is not carrying over what make the genesis system so dull. Taking scanning a system then adding that PD element with the rover just brought it up to be a lot more interesting without getting carried away. That being said, in the second one I'd like more made of the ending. In a way it was very Trek (I can think of a number of endings like that) but without the cinematic scope and acting it feels a bit light. Not sure how to add the emphasis to counter that, but that's what I felt with it.

You say you keep the maps simple, but you're certainly still creative with it. I loved the dream map!

Thank you for the detailed feedback! You should make one.

I'll try to brainstorm how to make the part 2 ending more cinematic. I think you're right about it though. Just not sure what to do there.