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An Open Letter to Admiral Quinn
craigroden
Member Posts: 36 Arc User
Admiral Quinn,
When I graduated from the Academy, what I wanted was a nice, big cruiser with nice personal staterooms offering all the amenities befitting a Starfleet Officer. When I heard of my impending assignment to shipboard duty, I was glad to finally have a chance to explore the universe. I imagined I'd make friends aboard my first ship and that We'd enjoy some hot cocoa and friendly chat in the crew lounge. That is what I wanted.
What I got was a Sao Paulo class escort assigned to Alpha Squadron, a front-line combat fleet currently engaged in operations against the Klingons. This ship has Huge, thunderous Phaser cannons, and small cramped living quarters. The ship is tiny. The crew is gruff and vulgar at times. Everything aboard the ship is either scorched, or patched or hastily repaired. The turbolift is constantly off-line because the ship is frequently at battle stations. I am so tired of deck-to-deck ladders, hatches, tight passageways and manual operation of almost everything.
In spite of these conditions, I have made some good friends here, but three of them have already fallen in combat against the Klingons.
We have no hot cocoa in the crew lounge on the USS Boxer. We have bitter coffee, swearing and occasional plasma fires on the bridge instead.
We don't do much exploring, unless EVA ship repairs and uncivilized drinking at Drozana Station counts for it.
The officer in charge of our Weapons department is an absolute Andorian tyrant named LCDR Zhukarak du Yutmakiat Shulkee.
LCDR Zhukarak is a violent, war-mongering curse. When I asked him if he would allow me to attempt peaceful negotiations during a recent Klingon encounter, he dismissed me from the bridge. He shouted at me, telling me not to return until I had located and attached some human male genitalia to myself. Vulgarity.
This ship stinks from plasma fires and damage-control replicators.
I want a transfer off of this hellish ship.
Lt(jg) Jason Tullridge
When I graduated from the Academy, what I wanted was a nice, big cruiser with nice personal staterooms offering all the amenities befitting a Starfleet Officer. When I heard of my impending assignment to shipboard duty, I was glad to finally have a chance to explore the universe. I imagined I'd make friends aboard my first ship and that We'd enjoy some hot cocoa and friendly chat in the crew lounge. That is what I wanted.
What I got was a Sao Paulo class escort assigned to Alpha Squadron, a front-line combat fleet currently engaged in operations against the Klingons. This ship has Huge, thunderous Phaser cannons, and small cramped living quarters. The ship is tiny. The crew is gruff and vulgar at times. Everything aboard the ship is either scorched, or patched or hastily repaired. The turbolift is constantly off-line because the ship is frequently at battle stations. I am so tired of deck-to-deck ladders, hatches, tight passageways and manual operation of almost everything.
In spite of these conditions, I have made some good friends here, but three of them have already fallen in combat against the Klingons.
We have no hot cocoa in the crew lounge on the USS Boxer. We have bitter coffee, swearing and occasional plasma fires on the bridge instead.
We don't do much exploring, unless EVA ship repairs and uncivilized drinking at Drozana Station counts for it.
The officer in charge of our Weapons department is an absolute Andorian tyrant named LCDR Zhukarak du Yutmakiat Shulkee.
LCDR Zhukarak is a violent, war-mongering curse. When I asked him if he would allow me to attempt peaceful negotiations during a recent Klingon encounter, he dismissed me from the bridge. He shouted at me, telling me not to return until I had located and attached some human male genitalia to myself. Vulgarity.
This ship stinks from plasma fires and damage-control replicators.
I want a transfer off of this hellish ship.
Lt(jg) Jason Tullridge
Post edited by craigroden on
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Comments
Sorry, but I'm not sure why you put this in the Fed Gameplay Forum and not the mailbox next ot Ten Forward.:)
Because I rarely share anything these forums. Too many forum snobs. It didn't even occur to me to put the post in one of those forums. Maybe a mod will move or delete it.
I hope you don't count me as one of them despite my question.
Absolutely no need to delete it IMO.
It's an interesting read.
It reminds of a First Contact review I once saw where the reviewer gave a few comments about the possible frustrations of the lower decks-crew of the Enterprise at the prospect of fighting the Borg.
And of the helmsman of the Defiant when Worf ordered to ram the Borg cube.
"I just wanted to be a botanist!".
We all have to do things we don't like here in Starfleet. Do you think I wanted to be a patsy for the Undine? I certainly didn't want to be known as the Admiral who let the greatest threat to the Federation infiltrate our organizations to the point where one in every ten Admiral on Earth was an alien shapeshifter. I certainly didn't want to be the man who would risk Federation principles in order to stand by our most stalwart ally. Hell, I'd sooner go to war with the Klingons rather than help them eliminate the Undine.
I know it seems counterproductive but... principles dammit!
The fact is that as a Starfleet officer we all have to take roles that we are uncomfortable with. I was trained as a tactical officer. Do you think I wanted to chart gaseous anomalies all day when I was a junior Lieutenant? No, but that's exactly what Captain Picard had me do day in and day out between those insipid classical recitals and poetry readings.
Remeber that you serve Starfleet. Starfleet does not serve you. Just like in my day when Starfleet needed tea sipping sensor console jockeys going about their duties with a jaunty Gilbert and Sullivan song and dance number, so too in this day and age Starfleet needs people with a little more backbone and a lot more violent disposition. You go where Starfleet needs you to go. You do what Starfleet needs you to do. That is life as a Starfleet officer.
So suck it up. Grow a pair. Or you'll be demoted to Chief Quantum Torpedo in your next engagement.
-Admiral Quinn
P.S. Thank you for your glowing recommendation of Lieutenant Commander Zhukarak. I will be sure that he gets properly commendated and promoted.
OOC: *L* I don't care where this thread goes. It's entertaining!
I'll have to agree... thread moved.
Link: How to PM - Twitter @STOMod_Bluegeek
QFT. The letter's are a funny satirical way of commenting on the game's conflicts with human nature, STF cannon and game play issues. I'd love to see more.
On or about April first, on your calender, myself and as many other Generals as possible will be coming to visit. What purpose would bring us all the way to Sol? A convention. We will be providing a gracious demonstration of Klingon weapon technology for you and whomever else is present. I sincerely look forward to meeting you in person.
Signed, General Beltran.
OOC:
Hehe.... only slightly ominous, but without a hint of compassion or empathy. you like?
My character Tsin'xing
haha, classic
STO Forum member since before February 2010.
STO Academy's excellent skill planner here: Link
I actually avoid success entirely. It doesn't get me what I want, and the consequences for failure are slim. -- markhawman
To: General Beltran
From: Admiral Quinn
RE: Weapons Demonstration
I regret to inform you that I will not be able to personally attend your impromptu weapons demonstration. I have a Romulus Preservation Society fundraiser to attend and I am afraid I cannot be pulled away from that appointment. You know how testy the Romulans can be when their humanitarian shipments don't arrive on time...
However, I hear that the USS Boxer is currently unengaged. I'll be sure to dispatch that vessel to your location.
If not then I can send my secretary, Captain Sulu. I'm sure he can be pulled away from the Borg Front to attend your demonstration.
-Admiral Quinn
We regret to inform you that your proposed chang eof plans is unsatisfactory. We will, however, be happy to change the location of the weapons demonstration.
Sign, General Beltran
My character Tsin'xing
From: Vice Admiral Soval, U.S.S. Columbia, 41st Fleet.
I have recently encountered a Klingon General who commands a Noble Klingon House; Major General Torpal.
According to him, the High Council is planning several attacks on the Borg while proposing to negotiate a cease fire with the Federation.
These propositions have been bogged up in the bureaucracy.
To: General Megh'bar, I.K.S. Del'Vanos
From: Major General Torpal, I.K.S. Kahless
I regret to inform you that the Attack on Earth Spacedock is going ahead as planned, now against the Romulan Humanitarian Conference on Rator III.
My forces can move to intercept, with your approval.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Dear General Beltran,
I regret to inform you that three of your bases along the Klingon/Federation Border have spontaneously exploded also all near Klingon Warships have suffered an unfortunate Tribble infestation and had to be evacuated, this may have the unfortunate effect of leading to the postponing of the weapons demonstration.
Signed Captain James Kenny, commander U.S.S. Endeavour
Dear General Beltran,
Permission to kill Kenny and eat his heart.
Signed, Captain Koroth commander I.K.S. Voh'tahk
To: Captain Koroth
From: Major General Torpal
U.S.S. Endeavour sighted approaching DS-K7. Three Klingon Warships were in pursuit before I ordered them back to base on the grounds that your ship is not important enough for a Vengeance Attack.
Have a bad day.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Dear, Major General Torpal
Could you care to explain why you let Kenny get away with blowing up 3 bases, and almost causing a Tribble plague on the Empire?
Signed, Chancellor J'mpok
To: Chancellor J'mpok
From: Major General Torpal
I said I ordered our ships back to base instead of being destroyed by Deep Space K7's Garrison Fleet. I didn't say I'd let Kenny get away with it.
*The U.S.S. Endeavour floats just short of the Starbase Defence Perimeter, as the I.K.S. Kahless destroys the ship. The crew are confined to the Brig.*
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Dear Major General Torpal,
Reports of my ship's destruction are exaggerated.
(The U.S.S. Endeavour wreckage shimmers like a hologram revealing an intact ship and a federation fleet warps in around the I.K.S. Kahless.)
You also have 10 seconds to withdraw from federation space before I have you bl;own to hell. Oh and you'll find that your brig is actually filled with crates of tribbles.
Have a Nice Day.
Signed James Kenny commander U.S.S. Endeavour
To: Captain Koroth
From: Major General Torpal
Find enclosed a copy of your promotional orders to Brigadier General and a requisition order for a new vessel.
FIND KENNY AND KILL HIM!
WIPE THEM OUT! ALL OF THEM!
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Dear, Major General Torpal
I will get on this but will require the following
All items on this list will be necessary to carry out the mission in the quickest and most likely successful manner.
Signed, Brigadier General Koroth
To: Brigadier General Koroth
From: Major General Torpal
2 tons of Trilithium Resin, 2000 Bars of Gold-Pressed Latinum, 10 Gorn Warriors, and a KI Operative, have been transported to your ship.
The Orion Slaves aren't an issue, though I might ask "what do you need them for?"
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
To: Major General Torpal
From: Brigadier General Koroth
Thank you for granting my request.
As to the question of the Orion Slaves, simply put bait.