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Helping a friend in Arizona - Seeking Legal and Disability Aid

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
edited February 2012 in Ten Forward
UPDATE -

MISSION OBJECTIVE ACHIEVED, SITUATION NORMAL; STAND DOWN

PLAYER'S NAME REDACTED



I'm loathe to ask a gaming community for assistance but I may have no choice.

One of my RP contacts introduced me to someone in Arizona who seems to be in some sort of distress and partially disabled.

I got to know her better over the past two weeks and realized she is being kept under virtual house arrest by an abusive husband. Her health is getting worse and worse due to a brain haemorrage (sp?) but apparently she is being denied access to medical services. She has since lost her hearing and lost the ability to walk, only to have her husband lock away her wheelchair outside the house.

So all she does these days is literally, play STO 24/7. Please understand she has no way to contact anyone by phone, no friends or family who knows where she is or her current condition. Internet is her only lifeline but she does not know how to seek help.

There is a lot of other grisly details I do not want to share publicly but this lady is in dire need of legal aid and charitable assistance because she can't earn her own keep in this condition, neither can she continue living in such a state.

If you have any information that you can assist please write here. I am really saddened and appalled that a person could be treated and enslaved in such a fashion but I also can't help her because I don't live in the States and don't know who can be of help.

She lives in Phoenix, Arizona and her handle is ///NAME REDACTED///

If you have any contacts for legal aid and social services PLEASE direct them to her. If you live in Phoenix or AZ please let her know you're close by. At this stage, every little bit helps!

Over the past few days she is in despair and although our small RP group tries to cheer her up... there's only so much we can do to make her smile. She needs real help.

So here I am.. I don't write this for me. Please help Melissa.

Cos I don't know what to do for her...
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Her health is getting worse and worse due to a brain haemorrage (sp?) but apparently she is being denied access to medical services.

    if this is the case, call the cops for her. its illegal to deny someone with a life threatening injury access to medical services under any circumstances. they will escort her to the hospital and ensure he doesn't interfere
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    being in another country he may not know the right numbers to call.
    in this case I would have to direct him to this: http://www.findcounseling.com/help/hotlines/arizona.html
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Thank you.

    We are now submitting joint reports to the Arizona DES - Adult Protective Services

    https://www.azdes.gov/daas/aps/
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    do you know where she lives exactly? like which street and town she lives in? that would definely help in getting her faster help, hopefully.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    I just want to toss this out there, because I was in a similar position a few years back. Someone I had met via online gaming had claimed a fairly similar situation, disabled, injured and in general distress and immediate danger.

    We attempted to intervene and offer financial assistance. It turned out to be untrue..

    I'm not saying you should refuse to assist her, I'm just suggesting you follow the above advice and seek the aid of Law Enforcement, rather than sending money, or offering to pay for legal services on her behalf.

    I wish you, your guild, and the individual in distress the very best of luck navigating this situation. I'll say a prayer on her behalf.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Just so you don't get in trouble with your good intentions, you need to remove the person's handle from your post and direct solutions to you (or this thread) instead.

    You are violating the person's privacy and potentially making the situation worse for her. If the situation is truly as you described and she is caught by her husband because of a sudden flood of communication, it is likely to end badly, especially if you are about to get law enforcement involved.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    carmenara wrote:
    Thank you.

    We are now submitting joint reports to the Arizona DES - Adult Protective Services

    https://www.azdes.gov/daas/aps/

    Good luck, and your a good fleet mate / friend to do this.

    the Adult Protective Services does help. I had to call them for a friend of mine ( different community ) because her husband thought it was a good idea to kick her laptop screen and destroy her desk top to cut off communications. they were able to help her, so I know they will help your friend. :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Police website for Phoenix, AZ with online reporting: http://phoenix.gov/police/

    Advise her contact the police herself. Then put her on your ignore list. Seriously. Worrying about what happens to her won't do anyone any good. If the situation is really as bad as she describes, then they'll do something about it. If she doesn't think the situation is bad enough to contact the police, then it probably really isn't and she's exaggerating.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    hort_wort wrote: »
    Police website for Phoenix, AZ with online reporting: http://phoenix.gov/police/

    Advise her contact the police herself. Then put her on your ignore list. Seriously. Worrying about what happens to her won't do anyone any good. If the situation is really as bad as she describes, then they'll do something about it. If she doesn't think the situation is bad enough to contact the police, then it probably really isn't and she's exaggerating.

    Speaking as a friend of a recently battered wife... that's not always the case. Battered spouses are usually emotionally and physically subdued, and thus unable to contact or reach out to authorities. Also, she made mention of speech impairment. Communicating her need for assistance over the phone would be difficult.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Sprint01 wrote:
    Speaking as a friend of a recently battered wife... that's not always the case. Battered spouses are usually emotionally and physically subdued, and thus unable to contact or reach out to authorities. Also, she made mention of speech impairment. Communicating her need for assistance over the phone would be difficult.

    Sadly that is true. You would be surprised what an abuser can do. For all we know in her mind she could be running circles and blaming herself. that is what a good abuser does. they make the abused think they it is their fault, and that there is nothing they can do about it. In a sense they think that they are getting what they deserved. ( at least a good amount of the time. it could be different here. )
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Zodi-emish wrote:
    Sadly that is true. You would be surprised what an abuser can do. For all we know in her mind she could be running circles and blaming herself. that is what a good abuser does. they make the abused think they it is their fault, and that there is nothing they can do about it. In a sense they think that they are getting what they deserved. ( at least a good amount of the time. it could be different here. )

    This is exactly what occurred to someone I know. The only thing that allowed her to get free from the situation was the intervention of her family. Mainly her parents.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Sprint01 wrote:
    hort_wort wrote: »
    Police website for Phoenix, AZ with online reporting: http://phoenix.gov/police/

    Advise her contact the police herself. Then put her on your ignore list. Seriously. Worrying about what happens to her won't do anyone any good. If the situation is really as bad as she describes, then they'll do something about it. If she doesn't think the situation is bad enough to contact the police, then it probably really isn't and she's exaggerating.

    Speaking as a friend of a recently battered wife... that's not always the case. Battered spouses are usually emotionally and physically subdued, and thus unable to contact or reach out to authorities. Also, she made mention of speech impairment. Communicating her need for assistance over the phone would be difficult.

    To explain the thinking behind my response a bit:
    1. The OP said she doesn't have a phone. So talking to the police on the phone isn't an issue anyway. That's why I linked the website.
    2. If someone sends police to her house (or another type of authority) then she might panic and tell them her life is fine and it was a misunderstanding. Then things will get worse for her. She has to decide to tell them herself to avoid this. That decision would also help her to stand up to her husband in the future.
    3. It sounds like she isn't, but she might be making it all up for attention. Another reason to not call anyone on her behalf.
    4. For the blocking, I mention that because the last time I offered sincere advice to a troubled friend that I typed carefully for a couple hours, he ended up chewing me out for it and hating my guts.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Thank you for all your replies. Couldn't have done it without you :)

    "Client" was very desperate for help and she had no hesitation to give her privacy away. She wanted to publicly threaten her husband on Facebook (to which I said NO) because she was so helpless IRL. STO was indeed the only community she trusted and the only online haven she spends time on.

    She might be weak and impaired but her mind is strong. She however cannot act on her own to protect her own interests as she was living under an 'iron curtain' for many years and does not know how to protect her own rights.

    If her husband stumbles on this page then all the better. I do have a contingency plan in place for direct action which is quick, decisive and proven effective in other similar cases.

    In any case, client was in sound mind as she appointed me to write on her behalf, and I treat that as an honourable contract between us until otherwise discharged by her.

    I understand that I may be stressing myself out unnecessarily over a simple online contact, but this is not my first international 'intervention' and... trust me - You know when someone really needs help. From the way she interacts with others, and converses with me OOC in a decidedly intimate and truthful manner like she needs someone to talk to badly. Call it intuition.

    I don't turn away people on suspicion, no matter how 'interesting' internet dealings can be. I treat everyone fairly, and if they wish to lie to me, that's fine. I can understand their reasons. I do not discriminate.

    I have very high hopes that Melissa will finally find her place in life and rebuild her life anew. She has the willpower to overcome her (hopefully temporary) disabilities and simply needs a new burst of enthusiasm and most importantly, support from her fellow Americans and real life people.

    I am spending a lot of online time with Melissa now, and I just feel it's right to act as I do without any motive or profit because I believe we have guys and girls on our friends' lists for a reason - to me my online contacts and clients are not a matter of 'add and forget'.
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