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Deadly Intentions - A Techno-Political Thriller

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
Deadly Intentions

By Sovereign77x

A Three-Part Series (30 to 45 minutes per mission on normal difficulty)


SmallBossEncounter.jpg


Synopsis:
One of the most brilliant scientists in the Federation has defected to the Klingon Empire, and he's taken some of the Federation's most classified and dangerous technology with him! You must stop him by whatever means necessary...


Greeting STO Community,

I am a new Foundry author, and this is my first mission series. After putting these missions through multiple reviews, and polishing them to a near spit-shine, I would love to get the feedback and participation of the STO community at large. I know that your gaming hours are limited; you have hundreds of Foundry missions to choose from...so why should you play this series?

It's the story.

I love telling stories, and my desire to tell this story is the original reason I set out to learn the Foundry. I wanted to create a mission that would feel at home in a modern-day techno-political drama (think Michael Crichton meets Tom Clancy). This mission series explores issues like radicalism, bio-terrorism, and genocide. I believe that serious crises often require difficult choices to resolve, and that's what you'll find at the end of this adventure.

This mission series is not for everyone. If you don't enjoy reading, you should consider different Foundry mission offerings. That's not to say there isn't some good action here--I've received multiple compliments on the combination of space and ground combat included in these missions--but the action is there to serve the story, not vice versa.

Among players who enjoy a good combination of story and action, this series has consistently received 4 and 5 star reviews. It also recently won a place on the Nagus List. But the highest praise I've received are the comments people have made about moments in the dialogue that "creeped them out", or the friend who audibly gasped over Ventrilo when he read a particular character's turn-of-phrase.

These missions are meant to be played by a variety of players at various difficulty levels. I have played them all at the elite difficulty setting, and it is possible to complete them at that level without enduring an attrition slog. Nevertheless, even experienced players will need to exercise prudence and careful strategy at the elite setting. Even on normal difficulty these missions can offer a fair challenge.

I sincerely hope that you will enjoy playing these missions as much as I've enjoyed making them. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and receiving your constructive feedback. Thanks for your willingness to consider my work!
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2011
    Reserved for mission changes and updates based on community feedback.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2011
    Great story and wonderful special effects, the fighting was a challenge. Great series.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2011
    Keigetsu wrote:
    Great story and wonderful special effects, the fighting was a challenge. Great series.

    Agree! I highly recommend this series :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2011
    Keigetsu wrote:
    Great story and wonderful special effects, the fighting was a challenge. Great series.
    Agree! I highly recommend this series.

    I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for your support and acknowledgement. I think I speak for all Foundry authors when I say that it is greatly appreciated! :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    The Deadly Intentions mission series has been out for a little while now, and so far the reception from the STO community has been wonderful. Here are a just a few of the positive reviews this series has received:

    "Brilliant!"

    "Great storyline and well put together elements."

    "Engaging plotline that we don't see everyday."

    "Excellent mission. Great story and action. Great job!"

    "Wow!...Your map design and execution is simply fantastic."

    "One of the best missions I have ever played."

    I am humbled by the tremendous support of the STO community. Between the positive feedback, and the constructive criticism, your participation makes all the time and effort that goes into these missions a worthwhile investment.

    If you haven't had a chance to play the series yet, I'd love to know what you think! Take a look at the first episode and decide for yourself.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    I played these missions and [URL=" http://forums.startrekonline.com/showthread.php?t=236755&referrerid=312767"]reviewed[/URL] them for Sovereign77x. They are some of the best community authored missions I have played. His story writing and map design are excellent. I highly recommend the entire series. :D

    Brian
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    I have spent the last several days editing this mission series and I put the new changes into effect last night. For those who have played this series before, I would be interested in knowing what you think! If you have accepted these missions within the last few days, but have not gotten around to playing them, I highly recommend dropping them and then re-accepting them again (this will ensure you're playing the most current versions). Here are some of the highlights from the recent updates:

    Deadly Intentions - Part 1

    This episode has needed a little love for quite some time to bring it up to the standard of the second and third episodes in the series. I have added some additional content to discover, including a temporary Klingon laboratory that adds a disturbing angle to the story. I have also created a few new characters to add a little weight to the narrative.

    Deadly Intentions - Part 2

    This is the revision I'm most excited about. I have remastered the interior map of the Borg cube so that the Borg behave much more believably. I have also added several optional interactive elements. The final boss battle in this map has been greatly improved, and should have a much more epic feeling to it.

    Deadly Intentions - Part 3

    Not too much has changed in terms of gameplay, but I've made some improvements to the maps and added a few fun surprises. For those who have discovered the Easter egg at the end of the mission, go back and have another look...I've added a new twist that should send a shiver down your spine!


    Thanks again for all you support. I continue to be thrilled and humbled by the positive feedback from the STO community!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    Today I am going to make my daily with your missions! I let you know what I think in the in game review.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    Cerritouru wrote: »
    Today I am going to make my daily with your missions! I let you know what I think in the in game review.

    Wonderful! I hope you enjoy them. :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    I really enjoy the saga! Congratulations for a job well dane!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    Cerritouru wrote: »
    I really enjoy the saga! Congratulations for a job well dane!

    So glad you enjoyed it! You are an incredibly talented Foundry author (Surrounded is one of my favorite missions) and your praise means a lot.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    So glad you enjoyed it! You are an incredibly talented Foundry author (Surrounded is one of my favorite missions) and your praise means a lot.

    And that means a lot for me! lol
    But is true, your saga is really good and deserves to be where it is!
    Keep at the good work, the Foundry needs good authors on this troubled times.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    I took a break from working on my mission to play Deadly Intentions part 1. I thought it was pretty good, but for some reason the storyline didn't really draw me in completely. I understand this is just the introduction, so a lot remains to be revealed, but I sort of felt the mission could have been a bit more dynamic.

    For example, when you beam over to the station, there is the part with the bar. I felt like that might have been more interesting if there were more people around, and rather than just talking to the bartender, you had to ask around to find out where Tasarg is. You could also have some optional conversations and fluff events on this part.

    Also, rather than having the Deferi warn you about an ambush automatically, you could have it so that you don't find out about the ambush unless you talk to the right people first. Then, once you know it's an ambush you can learn that there's someone who has the security code. Anyway, it's just a thought.

    In any case, I'll definitely take a look at part 2 in the next day or two.

    Here's some specific feedback (some typos found, etc):

    Deadly Intentions 1
    • Typo (Starfeleet) on Alexa Dursel dialogue: "How are you holding up?"
    • Typo (Fedetaion, gratned) on Tasarg bio, "At the age of 17..."
    • Felt that the bar area was a perfect place to add some optional fluff dialogue/encounters. You could have some people talking, and allow the player to "listen in" on what they are saying. Some conversations could be totally irrelevant, and others might hint at what is coming (the trap).
    • Without some optional dialogue like that, the bar felt kind of lifeless, IMO.
    • Typo (Captian) on dialogue just before going down the ramp to find Tasarg
    • Typo (Forcefiled) on dialogue (second box) where you encounter the force field after going down the ramp
    • Mozag hail, button says "Onscreen" should be "On screen"
    • Tasarg hail, button says "Onscreen" should be "On screen"
    • Typo (episdoe) on preview of next mission dialogue, last line.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    Nagorak,

    Thank you for spending some time with this mission series. As the author of the most highly rated mission on the Foundry, your feedback/criticism is absolutely invaluable!
    Nagorak wrote: »
    For example, when you beam over to the station, there is the part with the bar. I felt like that might have been more interesting if there were more people around, and rather than just talking to the bartender, you had to ask around to find out where Tasarg is. You could also have some optional conversations and fluff events on this part.

    I agree with this completely. This has actually been on my laundry list of improvements to make for quite some time, but it has taken a back seat to other improvements (especially to episodes 2 and 3 which I felt would generate higher ratings). Although this is the only episode to feature a social hub, I intend to go back and add a lot of extra dialogue options for all three episodes for players who like to go exploring.

    I am also very grateful for the typos you discovered, and your willingness to track and record them (Evil70th does an excellent job of this as well, and it is extremely helpful). As for "On screen" v. "Onscreen", I really thought it was "Onscreen"; nevertheless, a quick Google search revealed that you are indeed correct, sir! I shall have to go back and weed this error out of all my episodes now.

    Thanks again for spending some time with these missions. I'm excited to know what you think of the rest of the series! :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    I have finally gotten around to adding some interactive elements to the bar on Dorzal Station (thanks for the push on this, Nagorak). This location is featured in the first episode of my three episode saga. You can now interact with many of the people you find there, and even step up to the bar for a drink! You will find some interesting tidbits of conversation that will add a little bit of depth to your activities in the lower levels.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    Wall of text incoming.. (just PM me if you want me to edit this at all, I don't want to clutter up your thread.) ;)

    Really enjoyed the series! Finally got around to finishing it this evening. The ground combat on the final mission was awesome fun.. 3 of my team (including me) got assimilated going up against the boss! So I got a real sense of impending doom struggling through that fight! :D

    I also really enjoyed the character of the Klingon general you meet aboard the Carrier, he was hard as nails!:cool:

    The only reason I gave pt3 4 stars and not 5 is: for me a mission has to offer more choice to be 5 star, because I was effectively forced to make a really difficult decision (Althogh I realise it was a "needs of the many" type deal) at the end I felt railroaded and not entirely immersed in the story as an active participant even though I liked the writing style.

    I don't mind linear missions at all.. until I have to make life and death decisions and am not given a choice. For me a story that gives me the oppurtunity to make a bad choice and deal with the consequences is 5 star... but this damned difficult to implement!

    I noticed a typo early in the mission, but like a prized eegit I neglected to write it down! I know it was on the admiral's ship interior map and it was a very short dialog from my space tactical officer that had one letter missing (hope this helps.)

    I had a few thoughts about the effects used on the planet at the end (I hope this is reasonably coherent.)

    The final map where the atmosphere is ignited. The explosions are triggering from a large radius reach marker yes? I think because I fly an intrepid (which turns and climbs like a double decker bus with warp nacelles at best of times) I was out of position from where I think you maybe expected me to be. So what happened was.. the planet texture change triggered and then after the dialog the explosions triggered. I still got that "WOW!..cool..." factor that I know you were going for, but then i suddenly saw the explosions and thought..was that secondary explosions?? Was that delayed..what happened?

    Here is a humble suggestion of how this epic set piece could perhaps better be achieved:

    Have the player rush to an objective above the pole... Perhaps the neoborg launch probe in an attempt to escape as they detect their less evolved "vanilla borg" cousins approaching at high warp.

    Maybe you detect them attempting some kind of improvised tanswarp getaway which you have to stop? Maybe..if you're feeling particularly crazy: they open a gate to fluidic space..as a complete last resort?
    Anyway.. whatever it is, the point of this objective is to get the player close enough to your initial trigger to set up the effect that's coming.

    Have the player interact with a clickie trigger to complete the objective, which will then trigger a dialog that should convey a sense of urgency.
    Science boff: "We're too close.. We're too close! The radiation will neutralise our shields.. Move! Get us out of here! GO!!!" *

    The player will then see that their objective is to reach a marker back where the klingons are engaging the borg.

    Now.. the reeeeally tricky part.

    Starting from the central coordinate of your planet have staggered reach markers at different heights. That planet looks about 40 or so units high from equator to pole.. staggered wide radius reach markers at spacings of maybe 4 or 5 km should work. Although you have to remember that reach markers have height as well as a flat radius. They are effectively spherical even though you can't see them go (trust me I know.. this is how I did the shuttle jump in mere mortal enemies.) So you may have to actually place them descending diagonally in the direction the player is expected to go.

    As the player dives lower to engage the borg fleet an explosion effect will trigger behind them at every level off of the staggered reach markers. You could also trigger your static nebula effect to add to the misdirection.

    Thus the player will be most likely looking in the opposite direction, with explosions triggering around them and the nebula effect static on their screen you will hopefully get a much smoother and effective transition when you trigger the planet asset to pop and change.

    Just a thought, I know full well this would be a nightmare to implement and my description probably doesn't make alot of sense anyway :P

    * If you're feeling particularly cruel you could actually incentivise the player to hurry up by heavily implying that if they don't reach the trigger by a certain time they will in fact have to complete the impending fleet battle with no shields as the fallout from the planet's destruction takes them offline. (nebula effect in play).

    You could even set up a timer with this by spawning some mobs inside the geometry of the planet itself just as the "get the hell away from that planet!!" objective begins.

    Have a friendly battleship or cruiser spawn walled in with a mob of enemy fighters. Set a clickie interact called "safe" at the point the player is expected to reach.

    Both the nebula effect's visibility and the "safe" clickie's invisibility will be tied to the component complete state of the fighter mob hidden inside planet. The nebula effect's "invisible" state will trigger from interacting with the "safe" clickie.

    In this way.. If the player does not full impulse straight away to where they're meant to be and interact with the clickie before the hidden fighters are destroyed by the battleship they are then stuck with a nebula effect that they can't get rid of! Mwuhahahaha!! :P
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    Really enjoyed the series! Finally got around to finishing it this evening. The ground combat on the final mission was awesome fun.. 3 of my team (including me) got assimilated going up against the boss! So I got a real sense of impending doom struggling through that fight! :D

    I also really enjoyed the character of the Klingon general you meet aboard the Carrier, he was hard as nails!:cool:

    I'm glad you enjoyed it!
    I don't mind linear missions at all.. until I have to make life and death decisions and am not given a choice. For me a story that gives me the oppurtunity to make a bad choice and deal with the consequences is 5 star...

    I can definitely respect that. I've seriously considered giving this mission a pseudo choice at the end (similar to the end of The City of Polmar Ree) where the result is still the same, but the player can choose whether he/she wants to be the one to make the tough decision. For now, I'm holding off as the ending was actually very the reason I wrote the mission in the first place; I wanted to create a saga that depicted the very real burdens of command. Along with heroic battles and first contact scenarios, being in command sometimes means being the guy who has to make the really rotten choice. In short, I wanted to create a mission that would effectively convey the burdens of command. I realize this kind of a controversial ending won't sit well with everyone, and I'll take a hit in the reviews, but that's something I'm Ok with for artistic reasons.

    And don't worry about the wall of text; I'm pretty famous for those myself. :D I also appreciate your feedback and suggestions regarding the special effects at the end.
    In this way.. If the player does not full impulse straight away to where they're meant to be and interact with the clickie before the hidden fighters are destroyed by the battleship they are then stuck with a nebula effect that they can't get rid of! Mwuhahahaha!! :P

    You're kind of evil...you know that, right? ;)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited November 2011
    You're kind of evil...you know that, right? ;)


    All the best villains are stubbornly convinced that they are the good guy.. so yeah.. probably :p
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    Deadly Intentions was recently featured on Podcast UGC! Among the positive comments offered by Havraha and NemesisChicken was praise for the overall story, as well as the combination of dialogue/action. Give it a listen by clicking here!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    I finally got around to testing my Deadly Intentions mission series in light of the recent Season 5 update, and much to my dismay the third mission in my series is now broken. Even more frustrating, I can't get into the Foundry to fix it, or even pull it down! For once, I'm actually hoping that nobody plays that mission for the next several days (with all the focus on the new features of Season 5, I might be in luck). If you're reading this and interested in my missions, the first two seem to be working fine but the third is broken; please do not play that mission for the time being (I'll post an update as soon as the problem is resolved).
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear that, sir. Can you tell us what broke? It might help other (like the devs) figure out what's wrong.

    Or at least where to look for what's wrong.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    I'd be happy to (I actually posted this under the bug reports as well). On the second-to-last map, the player is required to interact with two consoles to bring down a forcefield and confront the final boss. One of these consoles has mysteriously gone missing (along with a few other objects on the map). As such, the mission can no longer be completed. I have already started to get negative reviews that are brining the score down, and I have asked Cryptic to withdraw the mission until the Foundry is reopened and I have the chance to fix it.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    After the long and painful hiatus of the Foundry editor, I have finally been able to repair the bugs that appeared in Part 3 of the Deadly Intentions series when Season 5 went live. These bugs had made the mission unbeatable by randomly moving some important objects into the ceiling of one of my ground maps. :eek: The problem is now fixed, and the mission can once again be completed (I have tested it twice). While it was disheartening to see the mission drop from a coveted top three position in the ratings, I am grateful for Cryptic's help in temporarily pulling the mission down over the weekend to minimize the one star reviews. If you haven't played my series already, give it look! I'd love to get your feedback and suggestions in this thread.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    Bravo to your attention to detail and your taking ownership of the design.
    This makes me wanna play hooky from work to go and play it. LOL

    I will definitely give this a whirl within the week!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, Brian. I've actually added a lot of content/improvements since the last time you played the series. On the bright side, the first two missions seem to have weathered the transition just fine. I'd love to get your thoughts on the changes when you're not busy reviewing other missions.

    Federation Mission: Deadly Intentions - Part 1
    Author: Sovereign77x
    Allegiance: Federation
    Mission ID: ST-HENIFDVMI

    Federation Mission: Deadly Intentions - Part 2
    Author: Sovereign77x
    Allegiance: Federation
    Mission ID: ST-HG3P4W905

    Federation Mission: Deadly Intentions - Part 3
    Author: Sovereign77x
    Allegiance: Federation
    Mission ID: ST-HTEOX3GQ3


    Report Start


    Summary: Well I just got done replaying "Deadly Intentions - A Techno-Political Thriller" all three parts and I have to say Sovereign77x has done an outstanding job. The additional objects in the first mission were spot on. The few corrections I recommended from my previous reports were taken care of.

    As you may have noticed this is not in my typical in-depth mission critique report. Well I have reviewed these missions previously and Sovereign77x to take another look to see the improvements and corrections he made to all three. As indicated above he did a great job! So instead of redoing the entire report format I felt I would summarize the single item I found that I felt he should consider correcting. It is in mission part 2 on the "U.S.S. Alexandria" map.

    I would definitely the entire series to anyone who likes a great and compelling story dialog along with epic battles. You are missing out on a great series if you don’t play this mission. :)

    Part 2, MAPS:
    U.S.S. Alexandria: Great map design with excellent story dialog. I noted only one issue to consider changing;
    -In the mission tasking following the interrogation of Dr. Araisa the task refers to the Admiral Denai as "Admieral Denai".


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review all of your work. As I’ve said before I look forward to playing more of your work in the future.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 12/07/2011 on forum posting for: [URL=" http://forums.startrekonline.com/showthread.php?t=236755&referrerid=312767"]In depth mission reports upon request[/URL].
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    CMikeHardy wrote: »
    Bravo to your attention to detail and your taking ownership of the design.
    This makes me wanna play hooky from work to go and play it. LOL

    I will definitely give this a whirl within the week!

    Thanks! I hope you enjoy it. :D
    Evil70th wrote:
    Well I just got done replaying "Deadly Intentions - A Techno-Political
    Thriller"
    all three parts and I have to say Sovereign77x has done an outstanding job. The additional objects in the first mission were spot on. The few corrections I recommended from my previous reports were taken care of.

    Brian,

    Thanks for doing another run-through on my missions! I know you are incredibly busy, and it means a lot that you would take the time to play through this series a second time. As always, I've taken swift action to strike down the typo you discovered.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    ]
    Brian,

    Thanks for doing another run-through on my missions! I know you are incredibly busy, and it means a lot that you would take the time to play through this series a second time. As always, I've taken swift action to strike down the typo you discovered.

    You've done a great job with this mission series. It was a pleasure to play.
    Brian
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    Podcast UGC has done another review of Deadly Intentions! This time, they took a look at the second episode in the series. Among the things that they enjoyed most about the episode were the big plot twist, as well as my custom work on the enemies you fight. Give it a listen by clicking here. It also seems that they will review the third and final episode in the series next week!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    Podcast UGC has posted their review of the third and final installment of the Deadly Intentions series! Both Havraha and NemesisChicken raved about the story, which they described as highly professional with nothing contrived. They also appreciated the hard decisions the player is required to face, as well as the "explosive" resolution to the story arc. They both gave the series a strong endorsement, and recommended that anyone looking for a serious mission give it try. So what are you waiting for? Do it, do it NOW! Give their review a listen by clicking here. And if you haven't checked out this series already, I hope you'll give it a chance. I'd love to get your feedback. :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited December 2011
    I've played the mission through, and enjoyed it thoroughly. The stakes were high, and all of the characters made reasonable choices for their actions from their own perspective.

    I had to have a little help finding the easter eggs which was a help, but they are worth finding. It adds another level to characters' motives.
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