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'Temporal Prime Directive' mission
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Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
Hi,
I would love if you tried my Foundry mission 'Temporal Prime Directive.
The USS Minds eye was destroyed whilst trying to enter the DS9 Wormhole, you are asked to go investigate....
Any and all comments will be appreciated
search for author jg07.
thanks
I would love if you tried my Foundry mission 'Temporal Prime Directive.
The USS Minds eye was destroyed whilst trying to enter the DS9 Wormhole, you are asked to go investigate....
Any and all comments will be appreciated
search for author jg07.
thanks
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
See some old friends and help Sisko win the War.
Mission Description: Very well done.
Grant Mission Dialog: Well written. Good instructions and start location indicated in the dialog. Good job.
Mission Task: Despite the well written instructions on where to go in the grant mission dialog you should consider making that part of the mission task as well.
Mission Entry Prompt: Not bad but perhaps consider changing the entry button to something a little more related to the mission itself. The dialog itself is really well done.
Deep Space Nine: This was a good lead in to the story. You should consider adding some ships in the area around DS9. It would add to the atmosphere. Spelling in first dialog; should be accurate vice "acurate" and should be "assured" vice "ensured". Second dialog: should be "Engineering has" vice "have". Perhaps the "Fingers crossed" should be removed from the dialog. Also add responses for the buttons for example "very well" or something along those lines vice the default "Continue" buttons. The third dialog: should be "threshold" vice "thresh hold" and "didn't vice "didnt". Also you might want to change that to "didn't suffer the same fate as the USS Minds Eye" or something along those lines.
Wormhole: The map was nicely done. Perhaps change the asteroids to ship debris. First dialog: should be "reenter" vice "re enter".
DS9 (Again?): Really good job. This was a good plot twist. Dialog buttons should be the Captains response vice "Continue". Spelling in dialog; should be ascertain vice assertain. Dialog with Braxton; remove about. Captains log dialog; should be Heaven vice Heavan and control vice controll
Badlands: First dialog; should be "Sector. Once" vice "Sector, once". Second dialog; remove me from we will me meet.
Cardassian Space: This was a very good and well balanced battle. Second dialog; should be "can't" vice "cant"
USS Defiant: I liked this part of the scenario. The interaction between the characters was very well written and executed. Good job. The first dialog; mission info should read "starting at" vice "back to". Also "Miles O'Brian" should read "Miles O'Brien".
Cardassia: This was very well designed and the fight was well balanced.
Cardassia Prime: Again another well balanced fight. Braxton dialog; should be lives vice lifes and hands vice hand.
DS9 (after the war): Good job. Dialog: should read Im vice im. Button after anomaly is set to default, Go to Next Map.
DS9 (Current Timeline): Very nice ending.
Summary: Overall you did a great job on the writing and development of the story. You drew me in and made me want to play. I like that in a mission. There was a good mix between dialog and action. Be sure to correct the spelling errors. When I author missions I go over the dialog, mission tasks and map text checking spelling. Spelling errors can be distracting sometimes. Again I think you did a great job on this mission. I look forward to seeing more of your work. Thanks for authoring.