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"The Return to Terra Nova" by Kirkfat

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
Hi all,

I finally published a mission. I'd really, really appreciate feedback.

Mission: "The Return to Terra Nova."
Description: You are ordered to make contact with the 25th-century inhabitants of Terra Nova, a world once visited by Jonathan Archer's NX-01. Discover what remains of the first human colony on another world.

Note: This is a purely diplomatic mission with no combat and lots of walls-o-text.

Location: ESD, lower level (lower level entrance located by Admiral Quinn's office).
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    :O The first mission by Kirkfat himself? :O ?!?!

    I'll try it out in a bit.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    Kirkfat wrote: »
    Hi all,

    I finally published a mission. I'd really, really appreciate feedback.

    Mission: "The Return to Terra Nova."
    Description: You are ordered to make contact with the 25th-century inhabitants of Terra Nova, a world once visited by Jonathan Archer's NX-01. Discover what remains of the first human colony on another world.

    Note: This is a purely diplomatic mission with no combat and lots of walls-o-text.

    Location: ESD, lower level (lower level entrance located by Admiral Quinn's office).

    The Return to Terra Nova
    Highly recommended mission.
    Phenomenal Maps by the wizard of the tutorials himself, bolstered by an
    extremely well written Trek story.

    :) A 5 star effort and a must Play for Trek Fans! :)


    Duke-of-Rock
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    A real mission with real Trek. I'm not sure how to put into words how satisfactory this mission was. I mean the detail, the story the actual scenery all wonderful. 5 stars man, and that's not just because your KirkFat :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    A real mission with real Trek. I'm not sure how to put into words how satisfactory this mission was. I mean the detail, the story the actual scenery all wonderful. 5 stars man, and that's not just because your KirkFat :D

    Wow, thanks Ashka.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    I played it just now. I liked that you didn't throw in combat where it wasn't necessary to tell the story. All tge conflict came from moral questions and prime directive issues.
    How long did it take to build the pyramid?
    From a technical POV this mission felt a bit like spot-my-tutorials. I recognized most of the little tricks that helped me realize my own mission ( yet to be finished).
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    V cool mission, enjoyed it and felt compelled to go back and watch the related ENT episode.

    There was one tiny wee thing i noticed (because I'm pedantic :P ) that may be worth changing if you happened to be making another pass ove rthe mission and republishing.

    If you changed the NX-01 ship costume used in Archer's log dialog boxes to have the "type 4" hull plating texture it would look alot closer to the darker coloring it was in the show.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited June 2011
    Thanks for all the really great tutorials. You make it look easy.

    I will be trying out your episode very soon. Thanks again.

    METH
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Kirkfat wrote: »
    I'll keep playing this thread.

    When you have time, I'd love to get a detailed review of "The Return to Terra Nova." It is my attempt to make a purely non-combat diplomatic mission.

    Fed, no level min. ESD is door. Just make sure to use the turbolift by Quinn's office, or one of the other Cryptic made turbolifts will trap you in a wall.

    Federation Mission - The Return to Terra Nova
    Author: Kirkfat
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HDGWMWRKK


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a great diplomatic mission. The map design, especially “Terra Nova” maps, is outstanding. The story dialog is great and kept me interested from start to finish. In other missions I might recommend a “Skip Dialog” button with a summary of what is needed by the player. In this case I wouldn’t recommend it because the story is the point. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who likes a great diplomatic mission with outstanding map design and excellent story dialog.

    So did you think you could use the response button "Continue" and I wouldn’t say anything? ;) In all actuality most of them worked pretty well I would only suggest changing them to a less intrusive “…” or something along those lines. By no means is it that distracting from the story it is only that I notice them and most folks won’t. :)

    Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a good description with a great warning regarding the nature of the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider correcting:
    -The [MissionInfo] dialog; consider changing "Earth Space Dock.The entrance" to read "Earth Space Dock. The entrance".

    Grant Mission Dialog: This is a good grant dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog.

    Mission Task: Despite the fact you gave the location in the description and grant dialog consider adding the location of the first custom map to the task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

    MAPS:
    Admiral Lovejoy's Office: This is a great map design. The story dialog is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".
    -The "Maxwell Weber" dialog; consider changing "I'm Maxwell Weber, captain of the Durkheim" to read "I'm Maxwell Weber, Captain of the Durkheim". As an old retired US Navy Chief. Military protocol usually dictates that when referring to the rank of or to a specific person by rank, the rank is capitalized.

    U.S.S. Durkheim: This is a great map design with a very detailed story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The warp effect outside the window, have you consider using the “Weather StarStreaks EastWest 01” effect. It looks a little better than the current one you are using. Based on the orientation of the map I think it might work.
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Terra Nova: This is a great map design with excellent story dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Kurtzan’s Tomb: This is a good map with great story dialog and excellent optional dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Terra Nova (Again): This is another great map design. The story dialog is very compelling. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    U.S.S. Durkheim (Again): This is a great story wrap up map. The story dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job from the great map design, through the riveting story dialog. I never thought I’d ever play a diplomatic mission where not a single shot is ever fired that I would be riveted to the story from start to finish.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 02/28/2012 on forum posting for: [URL=" http://forums.startrekonline.com/showthread.php?t=236755&referrerid=312767"]In depth mission reports upon request[/URL].
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited February 2012
    Evil70th wrote:
    Federation Mission - The Return to Terra Nova
    Author: Kirkfat
    Allegiance: Federation
    Project ID: ST-HDGWMWRKK


    Report Start


    Summary: This is a great diplomatic mission. The map design, especially “Terra Nova” maps, is outstanding. The story dialog is great and kept me interested from start to finish. In other missions I might recommend a “Skip Dialog” button with a summary of what is needed by the player. In this case I wouldn’t recommend it because the story is the point. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who likes a great diplomatic mission with outstanding map design and excellent story dialog.

    So did you think you could use the response button "Continue" and I wouldn’t say anything? ;) In all actuality most of them worked pretty well I would only suggest changing them to a less intrusive “…” or something along those lines. By no means is it that distracting from the story it is only that I notice them and most folks won’t. :)

    Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

    Mission Description: This is a good description with a great warning regarding the nature of the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider correcting:
    -The [MissionInfo] dialog; consider changing "Earth Space Dock.The entrance" to read "Earth Space Dock. The entrance".

    Grant Mission Dialog: This is a good grant dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog.

    Mission Task: Despite the fact you gave the location in the description and grant dialog consider adding the location of the first custom map to the task.

    Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

    MAPS:
    Admiral Lovejoy's Office: This is a great map design. The story dialog is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".
    -The "Maxwell Weber" dialog; consider changing "I'm Maxwell Weber, captain of the Durkheim" to read "I'm Maxwell Weber, Captain of the Durkheim". As an old retired US Navy Chief. Military protocol usually dictates that when referring to the rank of or to a specific person by rank, the rank is capitalized.

    U.S.S. Durkheim: This is a great map design with a very detailed story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
    -The warp effect outside the window, have you consider using the “Weather StarStreaks EastWest 01” effect. It looks a little better than the current one you are using. Based on the orientation of the map I think it might work.
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Terra Nova: This is a great map design with excellent story dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Kurtzan’s Tomb: This is a good map with great story dialog and excellent optional dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    Terra Nova (Again): This is another great map design. The story dialog is very compelling. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".

    U.S.S. Durkheim (Again): This is a great story wrap up map. The story dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
    -The use of the response button "Continue".


    End Report


    Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job from the great map design, through the riveting story dialog. I never thought I’d ever play a diplomatic mission where not a single shot is ever fired that I would be riveted to the story from start to finish.
    Brian

    This critique report also filed 02/28/2012 on forum posting for: [URL=" http://forums.startrekonline.com/showthread.php?t=236755&referrerid=312767"]In depth mission reports upon request[/URL].

    Thanks Evil. These are good suggestions. Unfortunately, the only warp effect that didn't show up inside of the room was that one. I agree that the other ones look much better. But, I had to go with what worked.
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