test content
What is the Arc Client?
Install Arc

The REAL reason... STO version 2.0

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
edited April 2011 in Ten Forward
Ok, version 1 was a flop because i didn't intend for it to go to 10F, but elsewhere and it got moved. Plus it was really a semi serious thread for Cryptic :P Anyways...

Let's try version 2

The real reason the Enterprise D got pwned by a bird of prey?
-Picard isn't an engineer captain; he had no Rotate Shield Frequency

The real reason nearly all the Enterprise E got taken over by the Borg?
-No one shot and destroyed the interlink nodes

The real reason the 7th fleet got slaughtered in DS9 episode 6x1?
-They were trained to fight PvE Cardie and Dom ships, not full on PvP

The real reason why the breen destroyed the Alliance ships so easily?
-No one thought of bringing Science Teams

The real reason Sisko was able to mine the wormhole?
-The devs weren't around to nerf them

The real reason Dukat flies around in a captured Bird of Prey?
-Cardassian ships don't have universal bridge officer slots

The real reason the Enterprise Dreadnaught monstrosity only appeared once?
-They tried to get it for another show, but it couldn't turn around fast enough to make it

The real reason we never saw Klingon Carriers in the shows?
-They were headed to join the rest of the Klingon/Romulan/Federation ships in Cardassia, but miscalculated their trajectory. It'll take them another 20 years to circle back around.

The real reason Kirk got demoted to captain?
-He was tired of seeing thousands of Admirals in earth space dock

The real reason only the Defiant made it to DS9 to reclaim it?
-Everyone else lagged out due to PvP spam

The real reason the Feds were annihilated at Wolf 359?
-It was a Feddie pug. No cross healing or support. Were you expecting teamwork?

The real reason Nog lost his leg? And why Picard almost never led away teams?
-They put all their skill points in space skills, not ground

The real reason why Kirk kicked a$$ in both space and ground?
-He TRIBBLE Cryptic's server to give him unlimited skill points, and got an achievement medal for it

The real reason why we see Mirandas in DS9 episodes?
-Those were newbie captains that haven't visited Lt. Laurel in ESD yet

The real reason why you sometimes see the Enterprise launch 10 torpedoes at a time?
-They weren't real torpedoes, the crew were lagging and temporarily lost connection with the server

The real reason Spock died in ST2?
-Kirk was rearranging his bridge officers and somehow put a sci officer like Spock in one of his engineer slots.

The real reason why Guinan was in charge of 10F?
-The Capulet thread wasn't created yet

The real reason Troi was a lousy pilot?
-Half the time she was trying to buy more outfits from the C-store while flying

The real reason why Voyager took 7 years to get back to earth?
-Janeway forgot the "Transwarp to ESD" and left it off her power tray

The real reason why Worf stayed in Starfleet?
-Trill women > Orion women

The real reason why Crusher flew an Eyeball ship?
-She wasn't aware a Nebula was available for Tier 3

The real reason Crusher's Eyeball ship was soundly beaten by klingons?
-The Enterprise Dreadnaught was in the deep space enounter, and so Admiral Riker spawned klingons 10+ levels above Crusher

The real reason Picard and Crusher never got together?
-Picard saw her @handle name. It was @williamriker

The real reason no one performs the Tachyon Grid maneuver during the war with the Klingons?
-Data's use of it that one time got to Chancellor Gowron and company, and they wrote many angry posts on the forums about it so it was nerfed.

The real reason the Universal Translator was invented?
-Smack talk in PvP zones, what else?

The real reason people weren't making use of the Holodecks and Holosuites 24/7?
-We can't seem to recreate the "Vulcan Love Slave Chronicles" on the foundry yet

The real reason Scotty was considered the greatest engineer alive?
-He started playing when RSP can be chained. The rest claimed the chief engineer slot post nerf

The real reason the Voyager crew wanted to get back to earth?
-They didn't miss the ESD lag, they just wanted to get out of this %(*#^ exploration cluster
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited April 2011
    gx4th wrote: »
    The real reason Picard and Crusher never got together? -Picard saw her @handle name. It was @williamriker

    Funny, funny stuff, sir! This one actually made me laugh out loud at work!
Sign In or Register to comment.