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SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
edited March 2011 in Ten Forward
I am offering a free service that's sponsored by my greed and laziness. If you wish to receive next tier items donate your data samples to me, I will mark down your donation amounts personally to ensure my profit, then I will keep them and use them as I wish while you go back to hunting for more. We are not running a scam, we are just hoping there are fools out there who will be suckered in by the claims that we are not running a scam.

The issue is, it costs over 1,000,000 energy credits to rise to tier 3. Our fleet members are donating all they can simply to reach this mark, because they aren't very bright and gladly waste hours of game time trying to raise funds. It takes time. We do not ask for your energy credits, but would be happy to take those too. We are not running a scam, but there are people who do so be careful. We ask only for your data samples. you know, the things that are even harder to come across than energy credits? Any Federation member is welcome to donate as we want everyone in our scam club to be equipped with the absolute best.

Again though this is actually the first time I'm mentioning this, we are a non-profit organization, except that we are not a non-profit organization since non-profit organizations have to be legally recognized, but we want you to believe we are a non-profit organization. So please, only data sample donations as we do not want the good name of our fleet tarnished. Energy credits, and better yet actual dollars will not be turned down either.

Thank you for your foolish willingness to buy into an obvious scam. I repeat, this is not a scam.

Please send me a private message in game at so I can fill your head with even more nonsense.:

Corban Lewis@Corban_Lewis

AFCTF
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    I am offering a free service that's sponsored by my greed and laziness. If you wish to receive next tier items donate your data samples to me, I will mark down your donation amounts personally to ensure my profit, then I will keep them and use them as I wish while you go back to hunting for more. We are not running a scam, we are just hoping there are fools out there who will be suckered in by the claims that we are not running a scam.

    The issue is, it costs over 1,000,000 energy credits to rise to tier 3. Our fleet members are donating all they can simply to reach this mark, because they aren't very bright and gladly waste hours of game time trying to raise funds. It takes time. We do not ask for your energy credits, but would be happy to take those too. We are not running a scam, but there are people who do so be careful. We ask only for your data samples. you know, the things that are even harder to come across than energy credits? Any Federation member is welcome to donate as we want everyone in our scam club to be equipped with the absolute best.

    Again though this is actually the first time I'm mentioning this, we are a non-profit organization, except that we are not a non-profit organization since non-profit organizations have to be legally recognized, but we want you to believe we are a non-profit organization. So please, only data sample donations as we do not want the good name of our fleet tarnished. Energy credits and better yet actual dollars will not be turned down either.

    Thank you for your foolish willingness to buy into an obvious scam. I repeat, this is not a scam.

    Please send me a private message in game at so I can fill your head with even more nonsense.:

    Corban Lewis@Corban_Lewis

    AFCTF

    You are absolutely BEGGING for reprimand aren't you?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    Nice parody :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    You are absolutely BEGGING for reprimand aren't you?


    What? We're a non-non-profit non-organization looking for data samples. Would it help if I said that a portion of all data samples donated will go to non-existant in game charitable causes like "Homes for Hoorta's" and "Books for Pakleds"?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    What? We're a non-non-profit non-organization looking for data samples. Would it help if I said that a portion of all data samples donated will go to non-existant in game charitable causes like "Homes for Hoorta's" and "Books for Pakleds"?

    NO but if you donated a portion of the proceeds to the Romulan Relief fund, I may consider it.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    Also please remember all donations are tax deductible and completely refundable if you find proof our gospel is inaccurate and didn't save your soul.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    Capulet wrote: »
    Also please remember all donations are tax deductible and completely refundable if you find proof our gospel is inaccurate and didn't save your soul.

    Wrong. Ther Caitian Taxation Bureau requires 25% on all donations made within the Milkyway.........mmmmmm.......milk.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    NO but if you donated a portion of the proceeds to the Romulan Relief fund, I may consider it.

    We'll happily donate...snicker....to whatever organization you name or create.
    Capulet wrote: »
    Also please remember all donations are tax deductible and completely refundable if you find proof our gospel is inaccurate and didn't save your soul.

    *Looks perplexed for a moment, then nods and smiles.*

    Of course!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    If I send you all of my rare data samples, can you fashion me a cap for my pickup truck? It would go smashing on the back of my Imperial.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    if i send you all of my stuff can you craft me your newsletter so i might subscribe to it as i like your idea.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    If I send you all of my rare data samples, can you fashion me a cap for my pickup truck? It would go smashing on the back of my Imperial.
    if i send you all of my stuff can you craft me your newsletter so i might subscribe to it as i like your idea.

    *Ultra fake laughter.*

    Of course we can craft anything your heart desires, BUT only if you send us all your in game data samples and of course your RL credit card numbers, bank accounts and pin numbers. Also family members can be traded for the bestest gear in the world!

    :D:D:D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    I can haz items? :p
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    MGDawson wrote: »
    I can haz items? :p

    no, now get back in your cage.

    *pokes with pointy stick*
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    I'll take any items you throw at me! I'll make sure to wear protection as well :D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    I'll take any items you throw at me! I'll make sure to wear protection as well :D

    We await your generous donation. Then awesome items will most assurdly be yours. This we guarantee.

    *Disclamer, guarntee's cannot be guaranteed. Offer void in all states, countries, planets, galaxies, dimensions and alternate universes. Crafters are well fed but not treated kindly.*
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    We await your generous donation. Then awesome items will most assurdly be yours. This we guarantee.

    *Disclamer, guarntee's cannot be guaranteed. Offer void in all states, countries, planets, galaxies, dimensions and alternate universes. Crafters are well fed but not treated kindly.*

    Do you accept lint from the pockets of my virtual officers? I'm still trying to get that as a monetary source...
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    Do you accept lint from the pockets of my virtual officers? I'm still trying to get that as a monetary source...

    *Looks at his boss. Boss shakes head.*

    No.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    no, now get back in your cage.

    *pokes with pointy stick*
    OW!

    There's no need to be mean!

    *scampers off to hide behind Corban*
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    MGDawson wrote: »
    OW!

    There's no need to be mean!

    *scampers off to hide behind Corban*

    *Hands Dawson a script and points to the phones.*

    Get our telemarketing department up and running. I've just put you in charge. Remember, pretend to believe in the company motto.

    "We help you go boldy where no one has gone before!"

    Oh and don't forget to smile!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    Don't we have automated machines that do that?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    I'm sending you my car, tv, my computer, the PIN number to my bank account and most of the people I know and love, as well as their personal belongings. I fully expect you to craft me a 2011 Impala, a mansion in the mountains and a redhead. Thanks for your time.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited March 2011
    BoredZero wrote: »
    Don't we have automated machines that do that?

    Yeah, but eventually they become sentient and turn on their masters. This is Ten Forward after all.
    Daevan wrote:
    I'm sending you my car, tv, my computer, the PIN number to my bank account and most of the people I know and love, as well as their personal belongings. I fully expect you to craft me a 2011 Impala, a mansion in the mountains and a redhead. Thanks for your time.

    Absolutely. I've already passed your order onto our crafting department and I'm sure you'll be hearing from us anyday now. Just remember that all orders may take anywhere from 3 days to 3 lifetimes to process. We do most certainly appreciate your patience, and your hot cousin!

    C'mere darlin!

    *Takes Daevans hot cousin into his office for an interview.*
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