Thank you all.

Last Post for sure and why:
Ok thats all folks Woke up and today is the day to leave home how do I know My Body says so. it was close yesterday with fading in and out but today will be tough message for Rusty cannot hold on much longer can you see me please ASAP.

Ok where are we I am going to type as best as I can as these meds are strong and cause me too loose consciousness for a sec or 2 and may lose it ok.
I have decided to act on the Governments offer to go on the Registry of the Tasmanian State registered mental health act that was made to me when I was In Devon clinic at ~24 years of age, to be institutionalized for life, meaning all health choices would be theirs none mine. You must understand they had a young man who after 3 months of intensive testing in a lab like setting I had Bi-Polar Affective Disorder and was likely going to cost both in full life society damage cost plus hospital care costs added verses limited Societal costs with full care the same counting even welfare Tired and confused time to sleep will add more after

Sorry was so stuffed could not see keys Lol,
Ok on with it. I was made to sit before a Mental Health Panel at Devon Clinic with a judge and 2 senior members of the mental health board where it was decided that given the current level and predicted future support from others, that my illness would have long term impacts on them all including Lorraine and the Children and that I divorce her then to begin the process to tidy up my affairs, and before going in to an institution for the rest of my life, with others choosing if I see family or not, it became a bit much too think about I tell you, Getting that laid on was crazy, They believed based on the current collected Government Mental Health Outcomes Statistics and my personal test results and showed me,too, god bless them, they said without their intervention at some stages, the other family family units may not survive and they would have to intervene and basically section me any ways lol., lucky for me the tests showed I was capable of basic day to day functionality. continued next post.

The tests were in the end a god send for me but in some ways a selfish decision if I made the wrong one for all.
They put my IQ at greater than 150 on the old scale and in the top 2% for comprehension/decision making skills Based on the now Accepted Stanford-Binnard testing standards.
This was very important as they had found that a new treatment called Cognitive Behavioural therapy when combined with the correct medications was helping some patients reduce the number of hospital visits and the external family/friends disruption but it required the patient to have a certain level of understanding and stick to a plan lol which it turns out I am not bad at all lol.
In real short terms because it took about 2 weeks discussion from when they began the meeting I was locked in the unit ready to be moved at a moments notice out of everyones care including mine and that would include the right to choose family members as well I was going crazy at the time .
Then they offered a form of hope at a cost though,
continue next post

This form of hope required that I demonstrate in a concrete documented way I was capable of following the rules without the usual patient legal inpatient supervision methods of someone following me everywhere to keep the pubic safe from a Known Mentally Ill Person, So I was asked by the board alone without the family's knowledge to take Lithium carbonate and to be blood tested every month to make sure the levels stayed constant during a 2 year period at Savage River during which time if I failed to give a test or refused I would be returned by the police and sectioned immediately for life proving I could never be trusted again. Story ending you can guess the rest. but I did not stuff up and managed to hold it together to prove I could follow the meds if I wished and that if I refused I needed to be sectioned on the spot at the same time HHHmmm Double edged sword that one LOL. need a moment for thoughts will brb next post.

The therapy outline as far as I can remember from the White Boards was in stages with:

Stage one: prove I could handle Meds correctly as currently prescribed by out patient medical personal.

Stage Two: Learn and use Cognitive therapy outside Hospital environment.

Stage Three: Live long and full life outside Institution with minimal impact (but some know risks for sure).

Stage four: when my Cognitive abilities are failing and I am Unsafe to be around others and myself as I lost the function to choose they step in from the wings and then I do not get to choose if anyone sees me in my last days,

ok, Stage Four has come, the Cancers that eat up my body also eat my mind more each day and the chemo slows the process only, That time is here Sorry Folks but I must go with them soon. I have lived a full and wonderful life and am so grateful you shared yours with me I learnt something from everyone I met in my journey of life but from now on the story is I leave this house in a car with a small amount of personal effects and please do not be offended if I call and want to see you but they do not let you it will not be my choice, once I sign the paper and leave house in the car.
In some ways it will be strange but if I do not Comatose, stroke, axphiate, have heart attack and suffer a painful death from one of these four cancer stages and can get Analisa my nurse to get my bed ready I can choose to die of the fifth cancers method of membrane destruction which is just going to sleep with no pain.

Sounds the go to me so I am going to leave pickup message tomorrow night or earlier if possible but then you will not be able to see me for a couple of days and I you as I have been told, and even then after that it will be at their discretion not mine OK but you will always be Welcome in my mind. Love you all.
Do not be hard on me I just wanted to share I never wanted it all.
My Favorite Saying:
"There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers."
Learnt by teaching people.

Play Hard All.