Unwritten rules.

aquale · June 2014

Hey everyone. I want know better about unwritten rules. I'm unable know about those if I can't read about them anywhere.

So here is what happened: Barb wined 79 and I got with him to do my bh. He didn't say anything about like - Hey I absolutely need to get this nuema from boss. Because unaware of his intentions I absorbed nuema and after this accident he started yelling for me. I did apologise with wine but I don't know will he ever forgive me

He must hate me

So to avoid these kind in future I want to know better these unwritten rules. Thanks and sorry.

Euthymius - Heavens Tear · June 2014

If he wanted the Nuema at the end, he could have just said so before engaging the boss. Being "hated" for such a thing is just ridiculous.

Slivaf - Dreamweaver · June 2014

Generally if people want something like the molds, or nuema in this case they state it in the world chat, just make sure you read the world chat carefully, don't stop reading at 'LFM Bh 69' most will say "LFM BH 69 free wine MY nuema"... and if they don't specify but say it's free wine in the world chat, you could ask them about it.

Not EVERYONE follows the 'unwritten' rules, be it a person who wines, or a random invitee. Just have to be wary/aware if they want something specific, and if they don't say anything, don't just assume, ask first. (Let them be the '***'/stingy person... not that they aren't allowed to ask for something in return for free wine, but yea its just as much their fault if they don't speak up as it is yours/anyone else who was in a similar position and didn't speak up.) xD

We are all only human, and you did from the sound of it make it as right as you could, and replaced the wine, if he... or she still hates you for that, then so be it. You definitely didn't have to make it 'right.' (also as that old saying goes you can't be liked by everyone, even if you try and right the wrong so to speak)

seitori · June 2014

I'll usually wc whether I either want or need the nuema (when I wine the run) as I form the squad with the world chats /or/ after the squad is formed, I'll simply let everyone know that its up for grabs to whoever is in need of it...

I have had people grab the nuema before like you did to that barb, but I don't usually get mad at them (the only time I do get angry, is if I've announced that I want the 'Nuema dibs' as the winer of the run and they still steal it even though they already knew that it was announced to already be needed by me) "But no matter what, No Nuema! Is worth you having to get 2-wines to compensate the barb for it, sounds like he was just a jerk with an overly obnoxious attitude, if thats what it took for you to have to placate him, just because he wouldn't get over it" (things like this happen on occasion in the bh runs (as most of us know) and he should of already been ready for the occasional lost chance at a nuema) b:surrender

((But even so, its best to ask if its a 'free nuema run' at the beginning of the run, so that misunderstandings/problems like what happened to you earlier, can be avoided)) b:thanks

WannaBM - Archosaur · June 2014

Usually common sense and ethics will do.

DeffyNature - Archosaur · June 2014

Common sense used to say molds belonged to the winer. nowadays, with molds being useless, the only thing of more use form a run would be a nuema, and common sense dictates the wienr should get it, unless otherwise stated.
However, common sense is a high grade commodity very few individuals posses, so it's best to announce as the winer that you want the nuema or ask as one of the participants if nuema is reserved.
When the run is unwined, then it's dibs to whomever gets it first.

tat2ooo · June 2014

Generally if they wine it then they get everything, unless they say they dont want/need it. In your case you should of asked first not just take it upon yourself to take it.

noodlepunch · June 2014

It's a common courtesy/consideration that the person providing the wine for the run gets the drops or has the choice to state if something is free for others to grab. Same goes for the person providing tabs if it's their FB run.

trands · June 2014

If someone takes the cost of wine/opening, it's common sense they do it for the nuema/mold/eod.

Being the 1st to jump on a mold/nuema without asking while not being the squadmaker/winer/payer is a bit rude.

Both of those are common sense imo. Doing the 2nd will get you considered a rude person. If you are in bad luck, you will get a 30min wc rage telling how horrible you are (which is a bit exagerated but does happen). If it wasn't intentional, think twice next time and everyone will have forgotten about this in a few days.

veronicae · June 2014

As to your question what else is considered an unwritten rule, here an example that I have experienced lately:

In a WS run it is considered polite norm to ask before grabbing a mold or even better to announce before the run what everyone needs so there is no misunderstanding and someone picks a mold someone else wanted. As for the inscriptions that drop at the last boss and can be used to craft WS belts: They used to get split equally between all squad members by having everyone pick up the same amount. As of now with r9 alot of people don't need the inscriptions anymore and will just walk away or state that they dont need. However it is polite to ask before just picking all of them.

I've been in a run lately where one girl just picked all inscriptions without asking. Ended in her being kicked from squad by the squad leader cause he stated he "can't trust her not to pick the Essence too" and being raged at by two other people in the squad as to "how dumb" she is. So to avoid that: ask before picking, if more ppl need, split them equally.

Fryvorg - Sanctuary · June 2014

There is one rule that applies to everything: Communication is key.

If you do something, speak to your person opposite about it.
Before you attempt to pk someone, give a heads up or ask.
Before you take a mold/Neuma, ask or discuss it if several people lay claim to it.
If you grab agro of someone else's mobs in open world or if you mess up at an important spot of an instance, apologize.
And so on. That's all there is to it.

Desdi - Sanctuary · June 2014

Fryvorg - Sanctuary wrote: »

There is one rule that applies to everything: Communication is key.

If you do something, speak to your person opposite about it.
Before you attempt to pk someone, give a heads up or ask.
Before you take a mold/Neuma, ask or discuss it if several people lay claim to it.
If you grab agro of someone else's mobs in open world or if you mess up at an important spot of an instance, apologize.
And so on. That's all there is to it.

^ this

DEMHEALSMAN - Dreamweaver · June 2014

Fryvorg - Sanctuary wrote: »

There is one rule that applies to everything: Communication is key.

If you do something, speak to your person opposite about it.
Before you attempt to pk someone, give a heads up or ask.

No, just no.
Read here
I should've written there "especially on a pve server".

People CHOOSE to go pk mode or people CHOOSE to be on a pvp server.
WHY should you ask or give a heads up. White name = free game unless you harass someone (pvp servers rule thing from PWE, doesn't count on pve servers(?)).

This is not an unwritten rule, this is from people who turn on PK mode because LOL I WANT CHI FROM NPC'S IN INSTANCES.
Just no.

Marengo - Lost City · June 2014

Fryvorg - Sanctuary wrote: »

Before you attempt to pk someone, give a heads up or ask.

Wat? XD Should I provide them with charms and pots before attack too? b:laugh

Concerning the topic: picking nuema is not a tragedy, but if you feel that guilty you can send him 2 wines as apology for this terrible offense or money for wine b:chuckle

LuckingFoco - Raging Tide · June 2014

I've always felt the person that wines gets the drops/molds/nuema. I don't even attempt to grab any of them even if they say they don't need the items.

Now if I run people through an instance with a nuema drop I will say the nuema is mine. I can solo them all anyway, but might as well see if anyone needs the BH beforehand.

bigchewy · June 2014

Unwriiten rules should read something like "apply common sense".

Sadly common sense isnt very common

SHIMBERLY - Heavens Tear · June 2014

Just do what you want its a game,just act like you didn't know,just ignore and say oh well blah blah.

aquale · June 2014

"But no matter what, No Nuema! Is worth you having to get 2-wines to compensate the barb for it

At least this case is solved, forgiven and I even got my Wine back. Did I say two wines? I meant one wine. Anyway one problem is solved and I did learn something. And I do learn from my mistakes.

For me this "common sense" sounds like assumption that everyone thinks like you and is aware as you are, but as said "Sadly common sense isn't very common". So assuming won't work every time, finding out with communication might work.

Since I don't assume anything, I'll try to find about to know better. That's why I made this thread.

So my mistake was not asking and he didn't also say anything before it was too late...

Thanks for all answers so far. More please.

SerenityCNB - Dreamweaver · June 2014

Typically it is an unwritten rule that the winer does indeed get the nuema, molds, books...depending upon which instance. You weren't exactly in the wrong, as the barb did not state that he wanted it. He just presumed that you knew and would read his mind, so that isn't your fault. You also replaced the wine and apologized so there isn't anything else that you could really do there. You did pay the cost of the wine, so he ultimately didn't lose out.

Just take it as a lesson for the future.

The barb should too, because if he doesn't speak up that he wants it, then he shouldn't be mad that its taken. Best to announce it at the beginning of a run, and then announce it again before engaging the boss that drops it.

If I pay the fee at lunar, I literally do not open it until everyone states that they understand that its my fee, and thus my EoD. Then I restate it before engaging Primal Fear. That way no one can say that they didn't know, don't understand, etc.

As someone else stated...Communication counts for a lot, and can remedy a lot of issues before they become severe.

DEMHEALSMAN - Dreamweaver wrote: »

No, just no.
Read here
I should've written there "especially on a pve server".

People CHOOSE to go pk mode or people CHOOSE to be on a pvp server.
WHY should you ask or give a heads up. White name = free game unless you harass someone (pvp servers rule thing from PWE, doesn't count on pve servers(?)).

This is not an unwritten rule, this is from people who turn on PK mode because LOL I WANT CHI FROM NPC'S IN INSTANCES.
Just no.

Agreed, with one exception...those poor unfortunate souls like myself that were PK enabled because of the hidden caravan quest in primal. b:cry Only way to get that done is to be pk enabled and not everyone doing it is happy about it. b:surrender

Aside from that, I agree.

Evryn - Morai · June 2014

SerenityCNB - Dreamweaver wrote: »

Agreed, with one exception...those poor unfortunate souls like myself that were PK enabled because of the hidden caravan quest in primal. Only way to get that done is to be pk enabled and not everyone doing it is happy about it.

Indeed. And that's why I simply choose not to do that quest myself. What I will do on occasion is hover over a few white folks doing that quest with my blue cleric and just IH stack and purify them. Several sneaksy sins find this distasteful, but I find it even more distasteful to annoy people who are trying to do quests on a server that isn't even of the PvP type.

Borderline grieving, that, if you ask me.

As for unwritten rules - if the person paying for entry/wines/whatever isn't speaking up, it's a free for all in my book. A common call for example is "BH Lunar my fee my EOD" -> I have no quarrels about picking up essences and small mats if that's the call for squad. I've also seen "BH Lunar my fee my drops" -> In that case I only pick gold stacks (and whatever may be left behind). Nuemas aren't hard to announce either. "LFM BH79 my wine (/solo) my nuema" isn't hard to type. It informs people they'll have an easy time but the bonus is for the party lead.

As said here. Communication is key. Party invite should match what you expect people to do.

Fryvorg - Sanctuary · June 2014

DEMHEALSMAN - Dreamweaver wrote: »

No, just no.
Read here
I should've written there "especially on a pve server".

People CHOOSE to go pk mode or people CHOOSE to be on a pvp server.
WHY should you ask or give a heads up. White name = free game unless you harass someone (pvp servers rule thing from PWE, doesn't count on pve servers(?)).

This is not an unwritten rule, this is from people who turn on PK mode because LOL I WANT CHI FROM NPC'S IN INSTANCES.
Just no.

Marengo - Lost City wrote: »

Wat? XD Should I provide them with charms and pots before attack too? b:laugh

Of course, it's people's choices to be white named/be on a pvp server and they should be expected to be attacked at any time. But what I meant is if you wanna avoid any drama, you better say something (nice). And you know there's enough drama revolving around unprepared pk lol.

My first sentence of my last post was the important message, though b:shutup

Unwritten rules.

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