I listen

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Got anything you want to talk to me about? Ill listen to all of it, and try to help if you have a problem. I will do this because everybody deserves to voice a opinion or get help. And i love everybody. =]

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

omg Zam did you make this thread cuz you felt like doing it after i started venting random **** to you about my stupid ex? now you want ppl to tell you their random problem like i told you mine?b:laugh

PW therapy thread...where all you depressed mofos can hang out xD

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Lol no thats not why. I just enjoy helping people. =]

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

wheres the money?b:bye lol jk

Shivalia - Lost City · May 2010

Alright, I'll give it a shot. After I go through this, all I can expect is '...Wow, that's f-ed up. I've no idea what to tell you.' lol. Jk. b:chuckle Anyway, its pretty messed up, and I pretty much know how I'm going to deal with it, but I wonder what other people think about it.

So here's the story. For knowing's sake, I'm 20, as is he.

I'm in love. With the same person I've been in love with for over 4 years now. Lets call him Alan. He lives far away. I live in central USA, and he lives in the south. I met him online when I was 16. He's known the entire time that I'm crazy about him. He's my best friend and I've considered him as such ever since I met him. Shortly after we met, he started dating a good friend of his he'd known at his home ever since he was young. At the time I was also dating someone. That someone, let's call him Dan, eventually dumped me because I was so obsessed and he felt like I was really too distracted and really didn't want him. I loved Dan as well, but I just could never get Alan out of my head. So we went our separate ways mutually, my affections still with him and him knowing so.

From then I almost immediately went on to date someone else. This relationship never was really anything at all. I believe it was just the sake of saying 'I'm dating someone'. Don't get me wrong, this one and I are still friends, and we both realized we weren't really meant for eachother. But after that one, while Alan is still dating that friend of his, I met this one named Reno online. Reno just happened to be a man from Poland, who 'dated' Alan years before by way of online relationship. Yes, Alan was about 14. And Reno was about 27 when I met him. So that was bad enough. But like the naive little girl I was, I felt sorry for this person and 'dated' him myself. Thought I fell in love, cried horribly when I was told by someone I thought was his friend that he'd died of the cancer he was fighting. Then he came back and revealed he was alive, he revealed as well, many many lies. Short story is, I said goodbye for good.

From this point on, I dated again, someone I'd known online since I was about 10. Call him Gregg. He was over in the west coast. When I was 18 and shortly after I graduated high school, I paid for his plane ticket to come live with me. The plan was to get an apartment, but he'd need to stay in my parents' home until we could actually find one that was open. I know plenty that this was a totally stupid idea now, but at the time it seemed half intelligent. Again, long story short, my parents wanted us to pay rent that would not allow us to get into our own apartment for a long time. I wasn't pleased by this so we decided to run off and go stay with a friend of his who lived two states south of myself. So there we went, and a month later, the friend decided she didn't like my attitude and she kicked me out. So my parents were kind enough to come get me and take me back. From then on, I told Gregg it was over. I've not dated since.

I'm still in love with Alan. I still talk to him daily and he's my best friend. Over a year ago we finally met in person and he stayed in my home for a week. A few months later I went to his home in the South and stayed for 2 weeks. Now, in less than a week, he'll be coming to see me again for another 2 weeks. He knows full well of my feelings for him and we're always flirting and messing with eachother. He's no longer dating anyone. Of course, I am not. And I've asked him plenty of times half joking if he would marry me. I've asked twice, seriously, if he would date me, and he says that he has his reasons for saying 'no'. Which I can fully respect. But the way we act with one another, we may as well be a married couple as far as I'm concerned. Not really sure what's going on in his head. He doesn't seem interested in any other person whatsoever.

Not sure what advice this all may call up, and I certainly won't ask for anything specific, but feel free to shoot me your thoughts on the whole thing. b:pleased

SerenityMare - Dreamweaver · May 2010

Shivalia - Lost City wrote: »

Alright, I'll give it a shot. After I go through this, all I can expect is '...Wow, that's f-ed up. I've no idea what to tell you.' lol. Jk. b:chuckle Anyway, its pretty messed up, and I pretty much know how I'm going to deal with it, but I wonder what other people think about it.

So here's the story. For knowing's sake, I'm 20, as is he.

I'm in love. With the same person I've been in love with for over 4 years now. Lets call him Alan. He lives far away. I live in central USA, and he lives in the south. I met him online when I was 16. He's known the entire time that I'm crazy about him. He's my best friend and I've considered him as such ever since I met him. Shortly after we met, he started dating a good friend of his he'd known at his home ever since he was young. At the time I was also dating someone. That someone, let's call him Dan, eventually dumped me because I was so obsessed and he felt like I was really too distracted and really didn't want him. I loved Dan as well, but I just could never get Alan out of my head. So we went our separate ways mutually, my affections still with him and him knowing so.

From then I almost immediately went on to date someone else. This relationship never was really anything at all. I believe it was just the sake of saying 'I'm dating someone'. Don't get me wrong, this one and I are still friends, and we both realized we weren't really meant for eachother. But after that one, while Alan is still dating that friend of his, I met this one named Reno online. Reno just happened to be a man from Poland, who 'dated' Alan years before by way of online relationship. Yes, Alan was about 14. And Reno was about 27 when I met him. So that was bad enough. But like the naive little girl I was, I felt sorry for this person and 'dated' him myself. Thought I fell in love, cried horribly when I was told by someone I thought was his friend that he'd died of the cancer he was fighting. Then he came back and revealed he was alive, he revealed as well, many many lies. Short story is, I said goodbye for good.

From this point on, I dated again, someone I'd known online since I was about 10. Call him Gregg. He was over in the west coast. When I was 18 and shortly after I graduated high school, I paid for his plane ticket to come live with me. The plan was to get an apartment, but he'd need to stay in my parents' home until we could actually find one that was open. I know plenty that this was a totally stupid idea now, but at the time it seemed half intelligent. Again, long story short, my parents wanted us to pay rent that would not allow us to get into our own apartment for a long time. I wasn't pleased by this so we decided to run off and go stay with a friend of his who lived two states south of myself. So there we went, and a month later, the friend decided she didn't like my attitude and she kicked me out. So my parents were kind enough to come get me and take me back. From then on, I told Gregg it was over. I've not dated since.

I'm still in love with Alan. I still talk to him daily and he's my best friend. Over a year ago we finally met in person and he stayed in my home for a week. A few months later I went to his home in the South and stayed for 2 weeks. Now, in less than a week, he'll be coming to see me again for another 2 weeks. He knows full well of my feelings for him and we're always flirting and messing with eachother. He's no longer dating anyone. Of course, I am not. And I've asked him plenty of times half joking if he would marry me. I've asked twice, seriously, if he would date me, and he says that he has his reasons for saying 'no'. Which I can fully respect. But the way we act with one another, we may as well be a married couple as far as I'm concerned. Not really sure what's going on in his head. He doesn't seem interested in any other person whatsoever.

Not sure what advice this all may call up, and I certainly won't ask for anything specific, but feel free to shoot me your thoughts on the whole thing. b:pleased

So... If Alan has reasons to say no to you and he doesn't tell you why.. This scares me..
If he flirts with you and you seem like a married couple and that he shows feelings for you, how come he doesn't want to be with you yet in a committed relationship?
It's very hard to see through a person specially when you're in love.. But, just do not let him use you.

It only appears to me that using you is what he wants to do. Unless he confronts you with his reasons for saying no. My advice for you now is to make sure he doesn't take advantage from you. I'm not going to tell you to move on because you still love him and have loved him for years but just take things really slow and see what he does.

Shivalia - Lost City · May 2010

SerenityMare - Dreamweaver wrote: »

So... If Alan has reasons to say no to you and he doesn't tell you why.. This scares me..
If he flirts with you and you seem like a married couple and that he shows feelings for you, how come he doesn't want to be with you yet in a committed relationship?
It's very hard to see through a person specially when you're in love.. But, just do not let him use you. It only appears to me that using you is what he wants to do. Unless he confronts you with his reasons for saying no. My advice for you now is to make sure he doesn't take advantage from you. I'm not going to tell you to move on because you still love him and have loved him for years but just take things really slow and see what he does.

Pretty much the only reason I can say I'm quite sure he's not using me is because I know him so well simply as a friend if nothing else. As I've said, my best friend. I can tell him anything same as he can for me. Given, I've spent a LOT of money on him, but I never have and never will do so without being completely willing to. I've turned down times when he's wanted money before. He's an artist and he does commissions, and he'd ask if I want one, for example, to help him raise money for something or other, but he really has ridiculous prices sometimes, so I'd turn that down even with the risk of saying 'your art isn't worth it'. It is for what I get, really, but it just seems so crazy to spend $50 on a sketch, no matter how good it is. I've helped him pay a $400 legal bill last year, and I payed now for all transportation costs for all three visits now. Of course, willingly. And all this is not to say that he doesn't give back. He doesn't give me money, not that I'd want him to, mainly because he doesn't have a job. (He never graduated high school because of family issues and has a hard time getting one because he doesn't have his GED, which he also isn't able to manage paying for since his family is quite poor.) But when we're together I couldn't be happier. He lets me hug him, cuddle him, kiss him. Because dammit, he's irresistible. b:chuckle I couldn't keep my hands off the man even if he said no to me. And that's just plenty enough for me. If he lets me love him, I'm happy.

There's been many hints from him other than just flirting that he's interested in me. But my personal theory is simply that he's afraid of the commitment of actually 'saying' we're dating. Well. Not really afraid of the commitment. But afraid that things would change if we did. Which I get kind of worried about that too when I think of it. That friend of his he dated when I met him; she changed once they dated. She became demanding and nasty, and extremely obnoxious. She was jealous as hell and every time he would tell her that he needed time to think over whether he wanted to stay in the relationship because all of that, she would throw the biggest tantrums in the world, screaming and crying, you know the story. Those tantrums were so bad, her mother began to absolutely abhor Alan for making her cry. I was even friends with this girl until they dated a while. She became so unbearably bitchy and self-centered. So I think Alan may be afraid that something like that would happen again considering it would be the same scenario. Good friends to begin dating. That's my theory.

But don't worry. I've let people use me in the past, but I make sure I get my fair share of what I want/need from him as both a friend and possible lover-to-be. Which mostly is just the knowledge that he cares about me, for him to hold me, and the chances to make his little sour-puss face smile. b:chuckle

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Lol. love the last line. But what i'm thinking you should do is help him get a job. Since your paying for the trips, Why don't you (if you want) help him get his G.E.D. This would help him tremendously and he would be able to get a job and make money for himself.

So if he has had problems in the past with his last girlfriend who became a bit*h, and you think thats the reason why he wont date you, tell him you will never become jealous and mad at everything he dose.

He has reasons for saying no, Ask him what one reason is for saying no. He may or may not be afraid of commitment but you don't know. It may be that he is afraid that when you guys start dating that if you ever break up, you guys will never speak to each other ever again and not be friends.

Shivalia - Lost City · May 2010

Zameri - Archosaur wrote: »

Lol. love the last line. But what i'm thinking you should do is help him get a job. Since your paying for the trips, Why don't you (if you want) help him get his G.E.D. This would help him tremendously and he would be able to get a job and make money for himself.

So if he has had problems in the past with his last girlfriend who became a bit*h, and you think thats the reason why he wont date you, tell him you will never become jealous and mad at everything he dose.

He has reasons for saying no, Ask him what one reason is for saying no. He may or may not be afraid of commitment but you don't know. It may be that he is afraid that when you guys start dating that if you ever break up, you guys will never speak to each other ever again and not be friends.

I'd love to help him get a job, but its a little hard to do from here. While I was visiting there, I helped him fill out a lot of applications, but he never even got a phone call from all those places. And I've offered plenty before to pay for the cost of the test to get the GED and whatnot. I'm not real sure of the whole situation, but he says he doesn't want to risk the cost if he's not sure he can pass the math portion. Math is his worst subject. Keep in mind, he's WAY behind as it is as when he dropped school, he was only in 8th grade. >.> I've offered to also help him to learn math easily but its quite difficult over long distance. If we lived nearby I could tutor him just fine.

As far as the goes, even I can't be sure how it would turn out if we started dating. I've had my moments of being absolutely pissed at him and he didn't like it one bit. He almost cut all contact with me because of the nasty things I said to him. He stopped talking to me for an entire month and that month was hell for me. Either way, I can be unstable at times, so I certainly don't blame him for being uncertain about the whole thing. Its much more unlikely to happen with me over that girl, but it is possible. And with breaking up and not speaking again, I doubt that would happen, and I don't think he believes it could either. Unless I just pissed him off bad enough. He and that other girl still speak and hang out with one another at times, she's just incredibly selfish and he's a bit frustrated around her, but he manages, and he finds it worth it to keep the bit of the friendship that's left. The only reason I've ever got as to why he says no, is that its not the right time. Which is such a mysterious statement. Otherwise I just leave him be so I don't pester him and make him say no because I'm too annoying. b:chuckle

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

I see, Well if you really wanted to tutor him you could do a webcam style tutoring. That way you guys would still see each other and he would be learning something to, And math sucks.

So since the places you have sent applications to haven't responded, Maybe try to have him get a job at a MC Donalds, I know not the best job but you gotta start somewhere. MC Donalds is a semi great place to start. There are many jobs that they offer there.

Or if there is a office building down by where he lives he could try to be a janitor. Not the best job but it will put food on the table. places like that are always looking for new people to fill their spots, it would be a great start, and he could start making money. Then with the money he is making he can hire a tutor. Then eventually get his GED.

Shivalia - Lost City · May 2010

Zameri - Archosaur wrote: »

I see, Well if you really wanted to tutor him you could do a webcam style tutoring. That way you guys would still see each other and he would be learning something to, And math sucks.

So since the places you have sent applications to haven't responded, Maybe try to have him get a job at a MC Donalds, I know not the best job but you gotta start somewhere. MC Donalds is a semi great place to start. There are many jobs that they offer there.

Or if there is a office building down by where he lives he could try to be a janitor. Not the best job but it will put food on the table. places like that are always looking for new people to fill their spots, it would be a great start, and he could start making money. Then with the money he is making he can hire a tutor. Then eventually get his GED.

We've tried that. It went horribly to say it nicely. b:surrender I messed him up so bad he unlearned what he already knew.

You know what's terrible? Even McDonald's won't hire him. Hell, they won't even hire me. But you know, its not because I wouldn't do well, its because there's just no jobs available. Same with cleaning jobs. I worked as a cleaner here in three different places since I was 16 until December 09. And it was extremely rare that they got anyone new. They got good people and kept them. Janitors are certainly not easy hires. b:sad I wouldn't have let it go for fear of not being able to get it back if I hadn't come upon a better opportunity not only with better hours and pay, but much more security and convenience being so close to home. This economy its just not easy to get a job anywhere. You'd think McDonald's would hire anyone, anytime. But you know. When people want to keep their jobs so badly just to pay the bills, they don't quit, even if they hate it.. So no positions open up. Even at MD. b:surrender

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

That makes sense. Since the economic recession everybody is holding onto there jobs for dear life. in fear of getting fired. Well have you tried a job with the city he lives in? They have alot of things they have to do and you would think there is a job opening there.

BeingHope - Harshlands · May 2010

b:chuckle I might as well give this a try

o.o well the thing is for me, I'm pretty much sick with therapy and all this stupid stuff everybody makes me do. Like I have an eating disorder and everybody is forcing me to eat (literally) and its freaking me out to death. I've already told everybody that it is freaking me out and they all just said its for the best..

b:surrender I'm stuck

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Well hope, Its your choice wether you want to eat or not. But if you dont eat your body dosent get the nutrients it needs, thus making your life shorter. But if you do end up eating, don't overeat Its purely your choice, its also your body and life you have to think about.

buttercupcruella · May 2010

@Hope, yes, it IS for your best. It would be hard for Hope to 'overeat' if she keeps up running and exercising and all that.

I need to vent my stuffs too..

It all started yesterday... my computer showed me the blue screen of death... 3 timesb:shockedb:surrenderb:cry

Today.. it just went crazy (basically would not cooperate with me). In the process of trying to reinstall my operation system... nothing worked, 'cause I am lacking a couple of important tools. My friend ended up furious and decided to wipe my discs... started with E:/ where I had my game installed... Well.. now I have no PWIb:crywhat will i do?! [the installation will take me like the whole night and still, I'm not sure how long my comp will resist the approaching death...]

Any comfort?

(looks like I'm stuck on the forums for today if not longer)

Shivalia - Lost City · May 2010

Zameri - Archosaur wrote: »

That makes sense. Since the economic recession everybody is holding onto there jobs for dear life. in fear of getting fired. Well have you tried a job with the city he lives in? They have alot of things they have to do and you would think there is a job opening there.

They most certainly are. I'm not sure what jobs you might mean. As far as something like that though, working for the city, state, or anything big and paid from taxes and such, I would imagine they wouldn't hire someone with an 8th grade education. First order of business is that I'm hoping to get him through to get his GED which will help a lot, though in no way shape or form will guarantee him a job. He's had one job that took him which was working for an auction house working in the warehouse. Unfortunately, they sort of went the way of 'S'-harassment against him, and when he turned them down they put him on 'laid off', which I don't think they can really do that in such a phrase in a job like that. It wasn't a large company. They just told him they 'didn't need' him and never called him back in. And yes, that kind of harassment against him. There's many kinds of people anymore.

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

@buttercupcruella Well if your computer is on the verge of death you really should take it in and get it looked at. How old is the computer? If its over 5 its going to be really slow, and it will need a upgrade. To bad about the E:/ being wiped But hey you got us on the fourms to talk to you

buttercupcruella · May 2010

Zam, Zam, Zamb:thanks where did ya hide ****? in your closet?

Luzul - Heavens Tear · May 2010

most of them aren't in order, but here's a few (yes, only a "few") things that i wish would've never happened to me:

forced to move to a new country and leave all my best friends
older brother rapped me ... twice
got pregnant the second time and had his kid
found out my mom paid the doctor to tell me he died because she thought i was too "irresponsible" to take care of a child then she went behind my back and put him up for adoption
discovered my aunt was the one that adopted my son
have to pretend i'm my own baby's "cousin" and can't see him other than in photos
let my dad beat me continuously
noticed my mom had cheated on my dad over five times
overheard my mom having sex with another man after only knowing him for a week
met the woman my dad started dating after discovering about my mom's unfaithfulness
tried to commit suicide
went "emo" by cutting my wrists and such
found out i have certain conditions/disorders (1 of them has no cure)
became addicted to smoking
apparently made enemies with my 2 new "stepbrothers"
started mistrusting people and isolated myself as much as possible
let people treat me like a pushover

and now i'm getting too depressed to type more, so i guess i'll stop there for now...

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

buttercupcruella wrote: »

Zam, Zam, Zamb:thanks where did ya hide ****? in your closet?

I is here Buttercup, and Zam's closet is very nice

it's warm and was full of cute Prada stillettos ( i stole a few)

and Luzul, i'm sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to have moms that dont seem to have their lives under control (i have a step mom and a birth mom, and both of them have MAJOR issues)

I'm praying for all of you

my stepmom just said that ppl think badly of me on PW and on forums and ppl have quit the game cuz of me...is this true?? o_O

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

Trying to keep dis thread alive!!! b:infuriated

buttercupcruella · May 2010

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................AGHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..................................................................................................................................

Hope I made the 10chars limit LOL

Grippieluver - Lost City · May 2010

hey Luz... yer post made me cry... that's terrible!!!! Omgeee I wanna freaken come and beat up your brother! That's just sick! and yer mom just erks me!! but she might have done it out of worry for u, I mean do you really want yer niece/nephew to be your daughter/son? well now it's /cousin... @_@ As for your smoking, suicidal, and cutting habit... stop. I get depressed a lot as well (don't really wanna vent my problems) but I always find a happy outlook on life.. and I've never went "emo" a day in my life thanks to that little method. A wake up let's say Monday morning, and think about all of the fun-ish stuff planned for the day. That gives me something to look forward to. Then I look for that little light in my life.. that light is usually surrounded by darkness, so It's sometimes hard to find. I know that there has to be something or someone that makes you happy. I also remain faithful to God, and know that he'll get me through whatever comes my way (I dont really know what your religion is, but, ya) Plz, just find someting worth living for, because there really is something out there for u. And (according to my religion) Our life on earth is just one chapter of your life, the rest of your story comes in Heaven.. or Hell, you know wherever you go. Heaven is something to REALLY look forward to... but don't just take your life away, that's the worst sin you could possibly commit. As for the incidents that have already happened to you, theres nothing you can about it now, except, just get on with life.. and pray about it. Good luck!
Sorry if I started preaching b:surrender

buttercupcruella · May 2010

Oh Grippie, you're so concerned. I hearby announce you our forum mom. Congratz!!!

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Well luz that is preatty bad. If i ever met him, i would probly have to kill him for what he did to you. Im sorry about evreything that has happened to you. Your life will get better though, it always dose and always will.

@**** And please dont mess up my dunie and burke purses or my nice 2inch Prada heals. =]

Ps gripie is the fourm mom now. I declare it

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

Zameri - Archosaur wrote: »

Well luz that is preatty bad. If i ever met him, i would probly have to kill him for what he did to you. Im sorry about evreything that has happened to you. Your life will get better though, it always dose and always will.

@**** And please dont mess up my dunie and burke purses or my nice 2inch Prada heals. =]

Ps gripie is the fourm mom now. I declare it

what the hell you be doing with TWO inch heels?? FIVE inch heels are where it's at b:victory it makes your legs look sexier

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Well im sorry, i cant walk in 5 inch heals. lol. Well i actually dont have them, but my closet is fun =]

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

Mine has a waterslide...does yours have a disco ball???

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Yes it dose. lol

Assburger - Harshlands · May 2010

Last time i checked your closet you had an organized collection of crotchless panties, did you finally sell zem on eBay??????b:surprised

Zameri - Archosaur · May 2010

Well, Ebay bought them from me. =]

Why do you want any?

I listen

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