Class Horoscopes

Kephras - Heavens Tear
Kephras - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,472 Arc User
edited April 2010 in General Discussion
Inspired by this previous thread, which unfortunately reached its expiration date.
(*Note to self, leave the cap on sour milk.)
DISCLAIMER:
This is for humor only. For the love of bacon, don't take it seriously, I'm not clairvoyant.


Archer - Luck is on your side today. Plentiful drops abound, for those who know how to keep their distance. Beware of aerial targets however: what goes up, must come down...

Assassin - Fortune favors the brave; being a sneaky, stealthy wretch, not so much. Stick with instances today, lest the respawns take you by surprise.

Barbarian - Every dog has his day, cats claim the other 364. Wolves may reap the benefits of random squad drops; feline tanks find themselves out in the cold. Pandas make their own luck, for better and worse, but everyone loves their fluff.

Blademaster - Sacrifice is the way of the off-tank, yet today the wraiths prefer this tactic. Avoid AOE-grinding, or you may find yourself surrounded by Sac-Assaults.

Cleric - The work of a cleric is never done. Alas, interrupts are the order of the day - avoid AFK'ing and trust not your macros.

Psychic - You already know what I'm going to type, so I won't bother.

Venomancer - Even the most loyal pets can be disobedient at times. Keep close watch on your companions, or you may find yourself reviving them often.

Wizard - April showers bring May flower; April monsoons bring much hate. Avoid water spells - your lucky crits are not so lucky today.



Feel free to add your own :)
Post edited by Kephras - Heavens Tear on

Comments

  • Samsoul - Lost City
    Samsoul - Lost City Posts: 259 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    The psychic one is win. xD

    I totally knew you were gonna say that........ yup.....
    Samsoul - fail psychic of Lost City!

    ...I will melt your brain... and decrease your IQ by 150...

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • jaeseu
    jaeseu Posts: 420 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    XD Rofl, <3'd it!
  • anwynd
    anwynd Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    this againb:chuckle hmm pretty good but i saw another thread with alot better onesb:avoid
    Collector of pet eggs, armor, weapons, fashion, and mountsb:chuckle
  • Revoltech - Lost City
    Revoltech - Lost City Posts: 73 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    I only thought this was alright. However, I LOVED your class personalities thread that you posted at the top. Would have necro'd it too if it weren't locked b:chuckle.
  • MagicHamsta - Lost City
    MagicHamsta - Lost City Posts: 10,466 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    waffles!
    he really did make a class horoscope
    (^.^)
    b:thanks
    darthpanda16: Firefox crashed on me. Aryannamage: I don't think I am a GM that would be new.
    Hawk:Do this. closing thread
    frankieraye: I'll see if we can replace the woman with a stick figure and the tiger fangs with marshmallows.//Issues like these need to get escalated quickly to minimize the damage.
    Kantorek: Yeah.. you should try it. It's awesome.
    Sihndra: Nope- not currently possible under any circumstances. Sorry.
    LokisDottir: I mean...not haunting the forums, nope nope..
    Konariraiden: You don't know what you are up against. You will lose.
    Waiting for...Hamster Packs!
    58% chance to get tokens
    41% chance to get an all class pet hamster....but they has already been freed by the magic hamster.
    1% chance to get ban hamstered with the message "Hamsters United!"
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Kephras - Heavens Tear
    Kephras - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,472 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    For posterity and your amusement, the 'original' horoscope (with slight edit):

    Archers: You will steal aggro, and die.

    Assassins: You will be asked to tank, force stealth, and everyone else will die.

    BMs: You will... be you. And die. Repeatedly.

    Wizards: You will make everything die. And the party will wish you'd died instead.

    Psychics: You will NOT die... but nobody will care.

    Clerics: You will heal someone, take aggro, and die.

    Barbs: You will die, tanking. Then EVERYONE dies.

    Venos: You will watch everyone die. And laugh.
  • sleepcat
    sleepcat Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    I applaud at the Psychic one.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Skimi - Dreamweaver
    Skimi - Dreamweaver Posts: 333 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    Kephras - Heavens Tear wrote: »
    For posterity and your amusement, the 'original' horoscope (with slight edit):

    Archers: You will steal aggro, and die.

    Assassins: You will be asked to tank, force stealth, and everyone else will die.

    BMs: You will... be you. And die. Repeatedly.

    Wizards: You will make everything die. And the party will wish you'd died instead.

    Psychics: You will NOT die... but nobody will care.

    Clerics: You will heal someone, take aggro, and die.

    Barbs: You will die, tanking. Then EVERYONE dies.

    Venos: You will watch everyone die. And laugh.

    so true about venos. thats the one thing i learned: to not take more mobs than can handle and if need to save anyone then start with cleric because others can be ressed and pet might not be able to hold everyones mobs
  • AlbireoTwo - Lost City
    AlbireoTwo - Lost City Posts: 2,056 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    You always try to make the future look wonderful, don't you?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Thank you Forsakenx for the picture. b:thanks
  • Lunacrescent - Heavens Tear
    Lunacrescent - Heavens Tear Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    Venos: You will watch everyone die. And laugh

    Epic.....b:chuckleb:laugh
  • Kaneharo - Dreamweaver
    Kaneharo - Dreamweaver Posts: 327 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    what's bad is that the wiz horoscope was eerily true... I was fighting against cleavehands... and it had just enough health to get killed by a gush, only for my gush to hit for the lowest possible damage for me, allowing there to be just enough health to allow it to get a last hit in ><
    (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
    ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) Pew Pew Pew!
    Quotes of Awesomeness:
    "that word, "solo". i don't think it means what you think it means." - LenieClarke - Heavens Tear
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • BIackTyphoon - Heavens Tear
    BIackTyphoon - Heavens Tear Posts: 249 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    For posterity and your amusement, the 'original' horoscope (with slight edit):

    Archers: You will steal aggro, and die.

    Assassins: You will be asked to tank, force stealth, and everyone else will die.

    BMs: You will... be you. And die. Repeatedly.

    Wizards: You will make everything die. And the party will wish you'd died instead.

    Psychics: You will NOT die... but nobody will care.

    Clerics: You will heal someone, take aggro, and die.

    Barbs: You will die, tanking. Then EVERYONE dies.

    Venos: You will watch everyone die. And laugh.

    I like this one better...i still am laughing....watching at my Bh/fb history...damn it is soo true(well except teh wizzis...i rarely see one...were they already extinguished?)
    [SIGPIC]http://pwi-forum.perfectworld.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=4646770002&dateline=1263479136[/SIGPIC]
  • ThanosQRt - Dreamweaver
    ThanosQRt - Dreamweaver Posts: 2,457 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    Kephras - Heavens Tear wrote: »

    Psychic - You already know what I'm going to type, so I won't bother.


    b:laughb:laughb:laughb:laugh
  • axt57
    axt57 Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    True about venos watching others dying and laughing.

    I do that a lot.

    As you're usually not directly engaged in combat, you see a lot of stuff happen from the sidelines. You can usually spot the shipment of fail miles away, and just watch how it unfolds.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Kephras - Heavens Tear
    Kephras - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,472 Arc User
    edited April 2010
    Kaneharo - Dreamweaver wrote: »
    what's bad is that the wiz horoscope was eerily true... I was fighting against cleavehands... and it had just enough health to get killed by a gush, only for my gush to hit for the lowest possible damage for me, allowing there to be just enough health to allow it to get a last hit in ><

    This made me chuckle. A lot.

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