Are you a giver or a receiver?

Ivy_ - Dreamweaver · March 2010

Buzzz - Raging Tide wrote: »

As a cleric I am usually quite happy to squad when grinding/ questing, I am somewhat slow with killing mobs and I really appreciate help. Sometimes, when on a quest and nearly finished, I decline, because when I have already 18/20 kills I dont want to hang around much longer.

^ this. Sure it's nice to squad up sometimes for quests, but if I'm only two kills away and I did it alone, you can do it by yourself too. I'm not gonna spend another hour (or more if I die a lot) killing another 50.

Also, one time I took an invite (since I was still a couple of mobs into the quest) for the wolfkins near Arch. Now you know that them things drop rough fur a lot. The dude I was squadded with practically demanded to get all my rough fur. And since then, I've been cautious with that. All my spoils are belong to me!

Rillien - Heavens Tear · March 2010

The reason I prefer not to squad on low/mid level quests is almost 100% because of drops. I like farming for my crafting mats, and when you have a mob that drops, let's say, 2 leathers, and you see the leathers both go to the other person due to random distribution, you know that you'll have to kill 5-10 more mobs to get more leathers to drop and it is quite an annoying feeling. As a ranged class, it is difficult to get your drops when it is on free distribution as well, as a melee class can pick them up almost immediately. Also, those low level quest mobs? Full of my dq items I need to expand my bank.

A smaller reason is that going solo allows time to sit and meditate, save on pots, and generally feel less pressured. When I squad, there is a compulsion to kill as fast as possible at the cost of chugging pots and using all sorts of consumables. When you hear all those stories of "OMG HE MEDITATED WHILE I KILLED ALL HIS MOBS"....I'd rather just avoid squadding all together. I like going at my own pace.

Beyond that, I think it's generally strange to invite without asking first. I will ALWAYS give a polite response to those who ask, and maybe even a buff or two. But those who send invite without asking, will get a refusal without explanation.

Does this make me rude? I think not. Everyone has legitimate reasons. Those who want to squad will always find others looking for help, so just pass me by and keep asking the people around you.

PoeticPrince - Sanctuary · March 2010

The only reason i deny the squads when im killing lower lvl mobs...is because im with my wife..its the only time we get to see each other..so..we like to have our alone time and quest

VerenKaunis - Dreamweaver · March 2010

hallsvaporaction wrote: »

And if you are nice enough to start on the mobs, they hover over you, put you on follow, and have to have dinner, lunch, or answer phones, doors; or walk the dog, spade the cat; or mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt, neighbors need something; or can't miss that movie, commercial, show; cause you know, they have "real" lives. Just say no to random invites.

Someone did this when I was killing level 50 vipions for a quest. I dragged him to Jewel. I died too but it was worth it.b:cute

Tapion_ - Dreamweaver · March 2010

I only deny squadding when I'm broke and need my own drops(which is very oftenb:surrender) cuz that damn random thing NEVER gives me any drops.

I'll also deny when I'm nearly done with the quest.

RisingTide - Dreamweaver · March 2010

Agree completely with Airyll.

I'm more inclined to accept when you ask first and tell me exactly what it is you need. Random invites are ignored when I'm out and about killing mobs for whatever reason. I do the same on my alts as well. I ask before sending an invite (usually receiving no response) then continue on with what I was doing.

Telarith - Sanctuary · March 2010

When the ! pops up, it's a 50-50 shot of being a blind invite to either a faction or group, depending on if you're factionless. So most of the time, I wouldn't even click the dang ! either way to even find out what it is. Loses its novelty the by the 5th one that day.

Solandri - Heavens Tear · March 2010

AeonieX - Heavens Tear wrote: »

I notice this a lot..people will gladly accept help from my main..but when questing on lowbie alts people doing the same quest mobs deny squading up a lot. Anyone notice this aswell?

If you expect something in return for your help, you are not giving, you are trading. True giving is to help with zero expectation of being compensated for it. Friendships come from true giving. Trading is just a business relationship and says nothing about your moral fiber.

At low levels, people group because it's mutually beneficial (helps them get through a quest quicker). Both are giving, both are receiving, but both are receiving more than they are giving. If someone denies your random invite, either they feel random invites are rude, or they decided it won't be beneficial to them. i.e. They feel if they grouped with you, they would be the giver and you would be the taker. This is the opposite of the conclusion you've reached because you're upset they refused your invite.

If they refuse your invite when it would have been beneficial to them, then they're just stupid. Like a group of 2 who were ahead of us on an OHT boss, refused to add us to their group, had one member die during the fight and had to go back to town and run back, and spent over 10 min killing a boss we whipped in 3 min. Has nothing to do with giving or taking.

Offer your help, be thankful for the friendships you gain from it, and do not think less of those who refuse it (unless they are clearly stupid - then you can laugh at them). If you're going to categorize people as good and bad, base it on why they do what they did, not on why you think they did what they did. 99% of the political arguments I see are from people assuming bad intentions in the people they're arguing against. Do not attribute to malice that which can be explained by circumstance or stupidity.

FatherTed - Dreamweaver · March 2010

Airyll - Dreamweaver wrote: »

You say that people who do not accept your random invites are "takers" and they are not "giving" to you.

Let's... look more carefully at this, shall we?

You say that people who do not accept your random invites are "takers" and they are not "giving" to you.

See what I did there? See it? If you didn't see it, let me point it out to you:
You accuse people, who do not accept your random squad invite, of being "takers" and basically, being selfish. Where, in actuality, the person being selfish, is you.
You assume that they are killing mob X for a quest, and you assume that they should obviously help you because you have that quest too.
You do not consider that these people might be grinding for money.
You don't tell them why you sent them a squad invite, yet you still expect them to accept it.

See where this is going?

Dis lady vry smart b:dirty

Seriously though - you have no right to question someone turning down a random party invite. It doesn't mean they are being selfish - maybe some of us just GASP like doing quests by ourselves.

AeonieX - Heavens Tear · March 2010

I knew i wouldn't be able to get my point across on here, people like to point out why they think they're right.

FatherTed - Dreamweaver · March 2010

AeonieX - Heavens Tear wrote: »

I knew i wouldn't be able to get my point across on here, people like to point out why they think they're right.

Isn't that exactly what you are doing?

AeonieX - Heavens Tear · March 2010

FatherTed - Dreamweaver wrote: »

Isn't that exactly what you are doing?

No. I was trying to find out why people reject squad invitations without talking. But then this turned into "let's see how we can make this guy out to be a ****" and i really don't want to cause arguments..had a long day and off to bed..someone close?

FatherTed - Dreamweaver · March 2010

Well I'm happy to apologize if I misread your original post - but the post coupled with the thread title kind of made it sound like you were making out people who refuse squad invites to be doing something wrong. If that's not the case, I happily apologize.

AeonieX - Heavens Tear · March 2010

Waited to see if you replied ^^
No no i just wanted to know why sometimes people reject squad invites, anyway end of thread and bedtime for me ^^

Dosinn - Dreamweaver · March 2010

For low level quests (up thru 30 or so), i try to solo everything i can. More exp, more coin, more drops from doing it that way. I really dont like it when ppl toss me random squad/faction invites. To be honest, it bugs the hell outta me. If someone actually takes the time to ASK for help tho, 90% of the time, ill help em. Im not just gonna help some random person, who more than likely, is just gonna afk on me and let me do all the work. Ive had that happen far too many times for me to EVER think about accepting a random squad invite. If i need help with a quest, regaurdless of my lvl, and i see someone doing the same quest (or at least beating on the same mobs), i ALWAYS ask first. Ill whisper em, and ask if we can squad for the quest. Im turned down as often as im helped, but at least i ask first.

JanusZeal - Heavens Tear · March 2010

AeonieX - Heavens Tear wrote: »

I notice this a lot..people will gladly accept help from my main..but when questing on lowbie alts people doing the same quest mobs deny squading up a lot. Anyone notice this aswell? Or are you someone that denies squading? I'd like to know why people refuse squad so it's a competition of "who can hit the mob first" ?

I dunno, it depends on if I want to squad or not. If I do, I accept, if I don't, I don't accept. Sometimes I want mob xp from those quests at lowbie levels (which is more prominent) on top of the quest xp I'll get and there's really nothing wrong with wanting that.

Miseri - Dreamweaver · March 2010

Well I just wanted to say WOW what a shock the majority of ppl posting here are venos and barbs, NO really, Venos dont need to solo, and barbs have to hide from everyone wanting a tank every five seconds.
BUT what I clearly see here is a lack of mage input, Yes i see some of you commenting here, but your not really saying much about what its like being a mage solo. Its TOUGH, If i miscalculate the mob im attacking or miss a spell timing, Im toast, and no matter how tough you seem to be the quest mobs never die without leaving you a lil injured.
For a mage, its about survival, I can cut down mobs fast if someone else is helping. I mean REALLY fast,
so if im doing a quest with someone I absolutly love to squad. NOW on that point YES i agree I have ninja squad invites, its annoying, especially when ive spent 3 hours killing 60 some mobs and finally someone wants to squad just as im wrapping up my quest.

Im just trying to say that for some of us, It isnt so easy out there on solo mode. Maybe I just think that cus im only a mage, i dont have a ton of alts,in fact i got one, and i dont really play it often enough to consider it an alt. I mean I take two hits and im dead, so much for going arcane i guess. Considering how much ppl love the damage I can do, you would think mages could get a bit of help with quests, then again Im guessing everyone is too busy helping their new psychic friends up to lvl 8x or something v.v

TOOK OUR JOBS

anwynd · March 2010

for me i dont rlly like being in sqauds so if im doing quests or grinding for money then i wont sqaud with anyone even if it will be good for me only times i like to sqaud are for BHs FBs TTs & every other dungeon type deal i like to solo everything i can plus i dont get along with people but to each there own

Atropah - Sanctuary · March 2010

Wow, what a bunch of jaded players. Isn't it polite to offer a squad? It's not like we don't have the choice to unsquad if they take advantage of it. That is the point of an online community.b:chuckle

I just kind of consider it polite to invite people to my squad if we're killing in the same area. If someone invites me, I'll accept, say hi, see what they're killing, and chose to stay in the squad or not. If I am grinding, drop hunting, or almost done with a quest then I may decline then send them a msg saying "sorry, almost finished" or "just drop hunting." I've had people return that courtesy and when I found out what they were looking for we helped each other out, I gave them some extra drops and they helped with my kills.

I'm a cleric who helps my wife who is a lower level do her quest. Since I'm killing mobs for her anyways I'll invite other people to leech of my kills and get denied. Sure enough, 2 minutes later they pm asking for buffs b:angry

Be nice, squad up and invite people. If it doesn't work out, leave your squad.

Rillien - Heavens Tear · March 2010

Atropah - Sanctuary wrote: »

I just kind of consider it polite to invite people to my squad if we're killing in the same area. If someone invites me, I'll accept, say hi, see what they're killing, and chose to stay in the squad or not. If I am grinding, drop hunting, or almost done with a quest then I may decline then send them a msg saying "sorry, almost finished" or "just drop hunting."

Eh, I would prefer this taking place before the invite. People randomly inviting, to me, is just as rude as randomly refusing. I will always explain why I refuse an invite, if the person has the courtesy to pm me before sending the little icon across my screen. And part of being in an online community is also showing respect towards others, and realizing that not everyone needs/wants a squad. It's really a personal choice, some of the players that posted here had valid reasons and I wouldn't call them jaded. People who like squadding have valid reasons too.

Atropah - Sanctuary · March 2010

Rillien - Heavens Tear wrote: »

Eh, I would prefer this taking place before the invite. People randomly inviting, to me, is just as rude as randomly refusing. I will always explain why I refuse an invite, if the person has the courtesy to pm me before sending the little icon across my screen. And part of being in an online community is also showing respect towards others, and realizing that not everyone needs/wants a squad. It's really a personal choice, some of the players that posted here had valid reasons and I wouldn't call them jaded. People who like squadding have valid reasons too.

Fair Enough.

Some of us consider extending that invite polite an not rude though. We're reaching out (in friendship, meh?). Sending a pm asking to invite almost requires you to reply back. Why send a pm saying that you're going to invite, and then invite? That's like sending someone a letter saying they're about to get a letter.

Alliptica - Raging Tide · March 2010

well if theres like 3 mobs in the area and 3 people, somebodys gonna ks, so why not join the squad. but um sometimes im drop greedy hehe b:pleased

oh and LOLOLOL at the title of this thread

Airyll - Dreamweaver · March 2010

Atropah - Sanctuary wrote: »

Fair Enough.

Some of us consider extending that invite polite an not rude though. We're reaching out (in friendship, meh?). Sending a pm asking to invite almost requires you to reply back. Why send a pm saying that you're going to invite, and then invite? That's like sending someone a letter saying they're about to get a letter.

No, because you aren't sending a PM saying "I'm going to invite you"

You actually send a PM asking what this person is doing. So it goes more like "Hi, what are you doing? Is it okay if I invite you to a squad and we kill mob X?"

This isn't rocket science, it's common sense. If you seriously thought people meant, when we said tell us before you send the invite, that we wanted you to say "I'm sending you an invite" then... well, let's just say you have a lack of common sense yourself.

Sending a random invite does not seem polite in my eyes. Asking me if I would like to squad for killing up a mob does. If you think otherwise then very well, that's your opinion. But to think we meant we wanted you to just say "Imma invite you" when we said we like to have notification before a random invite was stupid and naive at best.

Are you a giver or a receiver?

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