The five stages of QQ.

The five stages of QQ.

Its that time of the year again... and I would like to share with you all some of my pwi stories. The story that’s about to be told actually occurred as recent as yesterday.

It begun just like any other day. I logged on to pwi and was bored out of my mind... so i decided to give this new tideborn chain quest a try. The whole chain was pretty uneventful until i flew to the location of the last boss. There was an archer solo killing (with a cleric healing) and a barb and two venos watching. Not sure about the boss's abilities, I stood there and watch for any interesting skill or whatnot. Nothing happened and the archer seems to be doing fine with a single cleric... and the boss was soon dead. Up come the two venos next... trying to kill the boss. Somewhere through the line one of the veno got sealed, and it seems the other can't keep a pet alive thats tanking a boss whos doing 500 damage per hit. So one of the veno died and the other one escaped. This is when the barb decided to give his go... and where i decided to fly my cleric over as a safty net. I sharped the boss for the barb and the boss eventually died. Seeing how the weak dead veno has gone to town I decided that it’s finally my turn, so i engage the boss and set the cleric on heal macro. No sooner after my amp wears off 3 veno dropped out of the sky and engage the boss along with their pets. Judging by the weapons... the weak veno brought along 2 9x veno friends. Thinking to my self f*** I am going to get out dded... and I'll be damned if i am going to tank the boss for them. So i decided if they want the boss so bad they can have it, and force log both my arch and cleric. No later then 2-3 minutes after I relog the veno trio was in a state of dismay as they have no coordination whatsoever to heal the tanking pet. All the pets eventually dropped one by one and the venos scrambles for air. I was very amused at this point, but those brave venos did not give up and decided to try again. I sat back to observe the battle and soon decided that the veno trio was doing **** damage and I could easily out dd all three of them. So here I am stringing my nix tail arrows and switching to my dd gear. No sooner then my vow wears off I have complete control of the boss. And this where the five stage of QQ kicks in.

Stage 1: Denial
The three venos are in complete denial… and tries to dd the boss back from me. Little do they know, dd is actually a form of art and require aleast a hamster’s brain power to coordinate.

Stage 2: Bargaining
The denial stage didn’t last long as the difference in fire power is quiet obvious. The bargaining stage soon followed. The veno trio decided that they’ll try to get me to leave by chain expelling me. I was somewhat worried at this point since a chain expel from all three of them would equate to 30 seconds is immobilization. That with the 60 minute cool down on expel will effectively cut my damage output by half. To my surprised the veno trio still did not have the fire/heal power to out dd me. But they quickly regrouped and decided to expel my cleric and let the boss do this thing. Since I already have a full understanding of the boss damage out put, I was cracking up at this point. Even with a chain expel on my cleric, the boss didn’t even manage to tick my charm.

Stage 3: Anger
The veno trio soon figured that they have nothing else to offer me. The anger phase soon followed. This phase often entails some sort of name calling. But as an enrage member, I have heard every put down, cuss, and diss in the book. Of course the accusation of ks comes up. I was accused of expelling them and causing their pet to die. And as the nice guy I “try” to be, I explained that if I were the one who expelled them then I would not have waited for the barb to have his turn. It should be no secret that an archer can easily out dd a barb. Not satisfied with my explanation they accused me of expelling them the second time around (the time where the weak veno brought along 2 9x veno friends). I literally laughed out loud here. Here is three venos (two 9x) that can’t even keep a pet tanking a 500 damage per hit boss alive accusing me of expelling all three of them. And this is when my genie tapped me on the shoulder confessing to the evil deed. Apparently she has learned and recasted expel all by herself without me ever knowing. (FYI: recasted expel silences all friendly targets within 100 meters) At this point I decided that since I already was labeled the bad guy I might as well play the part, and pulls out the enrage bible and flipped to page 529 (How to Deal with Angry Little QQers). Bewildered by the enrage bible, the veno trio moved on to stage four.

Stage 4: Despair
In their despair, the veno trio decided the way to solve their problem is to have me reported for multiclienting because I was able to dc/relog an archer and cleric simultaneously. At this point I have no other choice but to completely write them off as their cute little brains can’t seems to wrap around the idea that others have the hand-eye coordination to dual dc/log two characters at the same time.

Stage 5: Acceptance
Finally after such traumatic event… the veno trio accepted the fact that they are no match for a single enrage archer. And I was able to kill the remaining 300k of the boss’s hp in peace.


Now kids… you may ask what’s the moral of the above story. Well… there are two morals to this story… depending on which side you look from.
From the veno side: Never trust an enrage. But this should be common sense. I mean… come on… even enrage members tell everyone NEVER TRUST AN ENRAGE.
From the archer side: Refer to page 401 of enrage bible on How to Deal with the Five Stages of QQs.


And yea… I was bored when I wrote this.