Love life and this game

godsy
godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
edited January 2010 in Off-Topic Discussion
hi im new to playing this game only started to be with my fiancee the game is kind of taken over her life to the point no alone time always talking to her friends in vent and generally not being herself dont get me wrong i love her with all my heart but i get anoyed about hear about the game instead of "hey i love you " anyway this is my Q: how many women in this game would allow the game and there friends to affect the future they agreed to marry and how many would stop when they know there fiancee is unhappy with this issue in there relationship. to me its easy no matter what i do i stop for her i even stopped whilst carrying a 20ft tree when she phoned, i mean i just stood there holding the tree talking away. please leave nice replys hurts this topic as it is b:surrender
Post edited by godsy on
«1

Comments

  • Psytrac - Dreamweaver
    Psytrac - Dreamweaver Posts: 2,488 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    this game can get boring pretty quick, give it time.
    I'm a guy, not a woman, that is all
    "When you're on Team Bring it, every morning your feet hit the floor, the good lord says "good morning" and the devil says 'Oh **** they're up' " - Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
    Are you on Team Bring it?
  • WarrenWolfy - Sanctuary
    WarrenWolfy - Sanctuary Posts: 1,686 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    If it's as bad as you're describing, then you already know the solution. Leave.

    The way you describe your relationship, it sounds like you're striving to be a martyr. I don't know enough about you to tell if it's a self-esteem issue or if you're perhaps just seeking sympathy, but in either case it isn't healthy.

    If you want the relationship to work, stand up for yourself, and calmly, confidently, and firmly let your feelings be know. If you two can't reach an agreement over this, then end it.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    PWI Merchanting Guides: warrenwolfy.wordpress.com
  • Hunter_PT - Heavens Tear
    Hunter_PT - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,222 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    If it's as bad as you're describing, then you already know the solution. Leave.

    The way you describe your relationship, it sounds like you're striving to be a martyr. I don't know enough about you to tell if it's a self-esteem issue or if you're perhaps just seeking sympathy, but in either case it isn't healthy.

    If you want the relationship to work, stand up for yourself, and calmly, confidently, and firmly let your feelings be know. If you two can't reach an agreement over this, then end it.

    Best advice you could of hoped for.

    You yourself know what your going to do and say, so like Warren said stand up for yourself and let your feelings be known calmly, don't go shouting like an idiot (trust me it doesn't work) but talk to her about it, if you cant work this out then she isn't the one you want to be with for the rest of your life because after PW they will be something else.
    Executor Of Reunited ~ Level 3 ~ Level 85+ ~ No Drama, No Pressure Faction.

    Hunter_PT - Cleric 9X, (Active/Main)
    PoisonedTip - Veno 7x (Retired)
    Skeln - Barbarian 4X (Rarely-Active)
    Hunter_The - BM 1X (Rarely-Active)
  • Lenn_ - Sanctuary
    Lenn_ - Sanctuary Posts: 507 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    if you arent man enough to say anything,how can you expect her to respect your feelings. grow a pair and show her how you feel despite how unmanly it makes you feel. trust me, the more you 'share your emotions/opinions' the more easy it is to score :o.

    youll get your alone time back ;D.
  • _DarkSeph_ - Sanctuary
    _DarkSeph_ - Sanctuary Posts: 2,294 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    If it's as bad as you're describing, then you already know the solution. Leave.

    The way you describe your relationship, it sounds like you're striving to be a martyr. I don't know enough about you to tell if it's a self-esteem issue or if you're perhaps just seeking sympathy, but in either case it isn't healthy.

    If you want the relationship to work, stand up for yourself, and calmly, confidently, and firmly let your feelings be know. If you two can't reach an agreement over this, then end it.

    Best advice you'll get here.

    Successful relationships work when a couple are able to get through anything together. This should be something that you can calmly talk about together and resolve. If you can't sort out problems like that as a couple then there's no real future.

    Also try to be a little accepting of the game. Hating the game and feeling jealous of the attention she gives it over you isn't healthy, after all it's a pastime she really loves doing and something that makes her happy. Definitely let her know your feelings and that you'd like to spend more alone time with her and that you love her company, but don't forget alone time is something you both have to want, if you force it then she's only spending time to keep you happy.
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    i have told her she knows clearly how i feel about it in response clammed up growing a par isnt the issue she know i will complain if im unhappy just wondering how many other women would stop talking to the one they love to play a game and when the do sit there talking to others instead of saying " i love you" and all the other things people who dont play the game do seriously the way i see it if i went to a restuarant she wouldnt talk to the other table nor if we was in bed would she take her friends with her alone time is alone time anyone who gets in the way of that is an A b:surrender
  • Lenn_ - Sanctuary
    Lenn_ - Sanctuary Posts: 507 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    there is another side to the coin, you can always join her on the game, and see where it leads. playing with my woman on her MMOs always led to better... alone... time.
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Best advice you'll get here.

    Successful relationships work when a couple are able to get through anything together. This should be something that you can calmly talk about together and resolve. If you can't sort out problems like that as a couple then there's no real future.

    Also try to be a little accepting of the game. Hating the game and feeling jealous of the attention she gives it over you isn't healthy, after all it's a pastime she really loves doing and something that makes her happy. Definitely let her know your feelings and that you'd like to spend more alone time with her and that you love her company, but don't forget alone time is something you both have to want, if you force it then she's only spending time to keep you happy.


    playing the game isnt an issue but sometimes the person playing it needs to be in he real world that not a tall order if the person your with when your plannin to marry seriously the pc wont reach the church
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    there is another side to the coin, you can always join her on the game, and see where it leads. playing with my woman on her MMOs always led to better... alone... time.

    i was playing with her but sometimes away from the game is alot better a few hours a day wouldnt of hurt addiction to a game can ruin love
  • Hunter_PT - Heavens Tear
    Hunter_PT - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,222 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    godsy wrote: »
    i was playing with her but sometimes away from the game is alot better a few hours a day wouldnt of hurt addiction to a game can ruin love

    Then what you have isnt love im afraid.
    Executor Of Reunited ~ Level 3 ~ Level 85+ ~ No Drama, No Pressure Faction.

    Hunter_PT - Cleric 9X, (Active/Main)
    PoisonedTip - Veno 7x (Retired)
    Skeln - Barbarian 4X (Rarely-Active)
    Hunter_The - BM 1X (Rarely-Active)
  • HatingHeal - Sanctuary
    HatingHeal - Sanctuary Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    One time my GF at the time didn't talk to me for a day because I didn't invite her to an fb. I uninstalled that same day.
  • Fastu - Raging Tide
    Fastu - Raging Tide Posts: 22 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    there is another side to the coin, you can always join her on the game, and see where it leads. playing with my woman on her MMOs always led to better... alone... time.

    lol, i do that when i'm in a relationship where my girl plays a MMO xD it's very funny 'cause it gives you the chance to get more conversation and it allways a different thing xD!!!
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    One time my GF at the time didn't talk to me for a day because I didn't invite her to an fb. I uninstalled that same day.

    looks like being with her ment more same as me with mine it anoying when its the otherway round
  • Fastu - Raging Tide
    Fastu - Raging Tide Posts: 22 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Then what you have isnt love im afraid.

    i'm not sure if that isnt love as you say, maybe its just a phase, give her some time, she will get bored soon... =)
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    lol, i do that when i'm in a relationship where my girl plays a MMO xD it's very funny 'cause it gives you the chance to get more conversation and it allways a different thing xD!!!


    i could quite easily play alday with her but need time away from it too we play [removed] today then [removed] this would of been no different
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    i'm not sure if that isnt love as you say, maybe its just a phase, give her some time, she will get bored soon... =)

    she got my time even when i go chopping the trees down i willstop time is hers for the taking
  • Rillien - Heavens Tear
    Rillien - Heavens Tear Posts: 569 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Give it some time, try doing random fun stuff for a few hours each day in the "real world". If she's not going to get up from the game to go out to eat with you or go to a movie, then talk to her and strongly consider leaving.

    She has a responsibility to put some work into the relationship; if she's not doing her part, and is unwilling to change after you talk to her, she's probably addicted. And probably won't listen to anyone for awhile, until she realizes the toll the game takes on her life.
  • Nudefoxy - Lost City
    Nudefoxy - Lost City Posts: 133 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    hmmm i guess you need to talk to her and either find a compromise where u would play both for few hours a day or give her a choice between u and video game, and if she chooses a video game than its pretty clear she is not for you, but i wanna say something from my experience, if you really love her give her some time cause i used to play alot of [removed] and now i look at it and i don't really care about sooo u can hope for the best
    or here is anothere idea just give her charcters name to urs and we will camp her till she gets sick to push go to town buttonb:victory
  • ImFunding - Lost City
    ImFunding - Lost City Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Well, as far as advice in a situation as this goes:
    I myself would try to do some more w/ her irl... Look what u both enjoy to do, nd go for it, don't be lazy!
    I can imagine she`s playin online cuz of boredom in RL, so change that and u might find the girl know nd love b:cute

    Rawr feel so weird to post here, lemme know if it somehow seems use full b:surrender
  • XSushi - Lost City
    XSushi - Lost City Posts: 7 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    hmmm i guess you need to talk to her and either find a compromise where u would play both for few hours a day or give her a choice between u and video game, and if she chooses a video game than its pretty clear she is not for you, but i wanna say something from my experience, if you really love her give her some time cause i used to play alot of [removed]and now i look at it and i don't really care about sooo u can hope for the best
    or here is anothere idea just give her charcters name to urs and we will camp her till she gets sick to push go to town buttonb:victory

    I like your idea b:pleased Time to take out my archer then...:D
  • Nukesrus - Harshlands
    Nukesrus - Harshlands Posts: 665 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    If it's as bad as you say, (and I can decipher) then she sounds like she's not interested in you anymore. Rather than be up-front with you about it, she's just ignoring you; end it. Don't waste your precious time on someone who's not even willing to discuss legitimate concerns in a relationship.

    Get out while you can, cause marriage won't make it better.
  • Hunter_PT - Heavens Tear
    Hunter_PT - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,222 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    i'm not sure if that isnt love as you say, maybe its just a phase, give her some time, she will get bored soon... =)

    If they under stress so quickly then it can't be.
    Executor Of Reunited ~ Level 3 ~ Level 85+ ~ No Drama, No Pressure Faction.

    Hunter_PT - Cleric 9X, (Active/Main)
    PoisonedTip - Veno 7x (Retired)
    Skeln - Barbarian 4X (Rarely-Active)
    Hunter_The - BM 1X (Rarely-Active)
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    hmmm i guess you need to talk to her and either find a compromise where u would play both for few hours a day or give her a choice between u and video game, and if she chooses a video game than its pretty clear she is not for you, but i wanna say something from my experience, if you really love her give her some time cause i used to play alot of [removed] and now i look at it and i don't really care about sooo u can hope for the best
    or here is anothere idea just give her charcters name to urs and we will camp her till she gets sick to push go to town buttonb:victory
    ty forthe offer but camping her wouldnt be the answer im guessing your right give it time shell get bored (HOPEFULLY)
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Well, as far as advice in a situation as this goes:
    I myself would try to do some more w/ her irl... Look what u both enjoy to do, nd go for it, don't be lazy!
    I can imagine she`s playin online cuz of boredom in RL, so change that and u might find the girl know nd love b:cute

    Rawr feel so weird to post here, lemme know if it somehow seems use full b:surrender

    she plas because she likes the games just gets to full on into it
  • godsy
    godsy Posts: 11 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    i mean tothe point we cant talk about anything else full stop
  • ImFunding - Lost City
    ImFunding - Lost City Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    ofc she likes the game, but ... it might be like this.
    In RL she`s somehow bored/can`t do where she`s go at, so she`s looking for alternatives. And a game like pwi is a nice escape from RL troubles (knows it from own experince b:surrender)
    But ohh, just pick what u need out of my/these comments and leave the rest of it for what it is b:victory
    Hope u find the solution that works for both of u :)
  • _DarkSeph_ - Sanctuary
    _DarkSeph_ - Sanctuary Posts: 2,294 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Dude, to be honest I don't see it working out for you two. You both obviously share entirely different viewpoints. She's a gameaholic...and you're not. :/ You can't forcibly change someones way of thinking. If gaming is her life, then that's that.

    For example both me and my gf love gaming. We play games for hours on end everyday, gaming and even pw nearly always pops up in conversation whenever we're together...and we're both content. Any issues with time-spending we've discussed and resolved without a problem. If you're waiting for her to drop the gaming and forget about it and move on you might end up being disappointed.

    Either accept who she is or just leave it. Perhaps you'd find if you accepted what she loves doing and had no issue with it, she'd be happier, more willing to be open to you and in the end more willing to enjoy your company?
  • Lenn_ - Sanctuary
    Lenn_ - Sanctuary Posts: 507 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    If it's as bad as you say, (and I can decipher) then she sounds like she's not interested in you anymore. Rather than be up-front with you about it, she's just ignoring you; end it. Don't waste your precious time on someone who's not even willing to discuss legitimate concerns in a relationship.

    Get out while you can, cause marriage won't make it better.
    i disagree with you. the females in my family are addicted to games, but its not their way of ignoring men. the way obsessions work is that you commpletely disregard your surroundings, all you eventually car for is the addiction.

    you can easily tell if a woman is being avoidant, this is just another dysfunctional relationship due to video games, same things happen to males with [removed]
  • kingme99
    kingme99 Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Lemme give you my experience:

    My last girlfriend, who I was with for 5 years, was in the same position as you are in now. I enjoyed gaming and eventually spent much more time playing on the computer than spending time with her. She often would get mad, cry and plead for my attention.

    Eventually this lead to us breaking up.

    Now, a couple of factors went into this. First, as any 'gamer' knows, sometimes there aren't enough hours in a day to accomplish what you want. 1 more level, 1 more mob, a few more minutes to finish some dungeon... eventually all those things add up to way more time on the computer than you originally anticipated. You know this, but at the same time some magical force keeps you from stepping away until it's finished.

    Someone needs help, some war or some mass pk is going on, some drama is happening that you just can't step away from without giving your opinion.

    It's the addiction of gaming that many people are guilty of having.

    Secondly, and not saying this applies to you, but another reason I played so much was because quite frankly... it was just more fun than spending time with my girlfriend. It didn't start that way. It's not like I didn't love her, but after the constant whining and nagging... it sure got old really fast.

    We had issues to begin with, but her constant nagging drove me to a point where I just didn't care anymore. It turned from irritation to almost disgust. I didn't care if her feelings were hurt. I didn't care if I ignored her.

    Anyway, long story short...

    I'm now engaged to another girl. I still play, and probably more than I should, but a few things are different from that last relationship.

    Probably the MOST important difference is that my fiance now is much more independant. She has her own interests and her own hobbies that she is able to do independantly of me, yet at the sametime we have our time to do things together. My last girlfriend was rather needy for my liking and the attention she required was more like a baby than a partner.

    So my advice...

    Get a hobby and deal with it or dump her ****. Make sure you can get a refund on that ring as well.

    She's a game addict. I'm sure she loves you still, but her playing time won't stop until she gets bored. Sorry.
  • _Tsunami_ - Heavens Tear
    _Tsunami_ - Heavens Tear Posts: 7 Arc User
    edited January 2010
    Absolutly leave her. If she really LOVE you she'll call you and will try to do something,otherwise the sea is full of fishes.
    Sad to say but i think this is the only way to act. I don't tolerate that from anyone, in my opinion is better to be sad for days,weeks or years and than keep on living than be sad for life.
    Think about it and think about what YOU want. It's your life, as we know we have just one, don't waste it whit someone that don't deserve it.