The archer, the wizard, and the petless veno

The names of the Archer and Veno will not be posted, within this post. >_> They may, however, comment and reveal themselves. =P

I am a lvl 61 Wizard. My gf is a lvl 63 Venomancer. Now, she's just been the lovely recipient of a glorious golden Baby Hercules. So, we're being more practical and playing the game, rather than PvP. That comes later.

I don't like PvP much. It's messy, wasteful, and non-productive, when you have so much to do and focus on. So, I generally avoid it. As such, I have managed to keep my Gold Guardian Charm a lot longer than some people.

And so, our story begins...

We are sitting patiently, waiting on the playful Slitt to come by. Suddenly, this wonderful lvl 57 Archer drops outta the sky, dressed in a suit. There are no words. Just an exclamation point, on my screen. He wishes to duel me.

As I said, I don't like PvP and I would like to keep my charm as long as possible. So, this in mind, I decline. I give him my reason and remain seated.

Another exclamation point. Another duel invite. Another declination.

"Just one duel."

"No."

Another invite. Another no. These were followed by three more. Suddenly, things get...vulgar.

I get a lovely whisper from the unknown Archer. He tried to imply I was a female organ. I simply explained myself, again. This was followed with the "Laugh out loud" smilies, via PM.

My gf, who is sitting next to me, looking at my screen says she wants to duel him. While we were waiting for Slitt, her pet was away. No need to waste time staring as his ugly butt, while we wait.

I continue to decline, while my gf begins sending invites. Her pet is still in her bag, as she wants it to be a fairer fight.

I look over at her screen to see the countdown, and watch from mine. The shots are fast casts and heavy hitters. Ten seconds has elapsed. She still has more than half her HP, as her charm has not been broken. He has no HP and is declared the loser.

I don't laugh. What's the point? I have no reason to prove myself or laugh at another's arrogance. Instead, I start healing him. If something were to hit him....I'm sure he would find a way to blame us.

"Wtf"

I sit back down. She's got an another invite.

"I'll own you, this time."

Ten seconds later, I am healing him, again.

This continues for three more rounds of Veno on Archer action. The Archer only managing to break the charm one time. It could have been a flawless victory, if she had used any of her pets, but she was fair.

The Archer is...well, he's probably seeing red. He turns his attention back to me. By this point, I have laughed. Two decisive victories is enough to know you got owned. Why go back for fifths?

I get the invite. I forget a key point about the Yes\No option, on the invite pop up.

Pressing Enter automatically accepts. Needless to say, I am unprepared and my squishy butt gets handed to me. Of the two attacks I manage, between interruptions, only the first hits before I lose and watch my charm pop.

"OWNED!!" "ROFL!" "[Insert repeated smilies here]" "I owned you!" "C ya!"

The moral of the story?

When it comes to an epeen contest, never challenge a woman. It provokes her envy.