The Madmen of TianLong

casexx
casexx Posts: 7 Arc User
edited June 2009 in The Fanatics Forum
Hey guys, this is my first fan fiction for PWI. I've done several before for Bleach, Shaiya, 2 Moons and 9 Dragons and I've got a pretty good fan-base for all of them. This one is partial to the faction I've joined on Heaven's Tear, but I will be adding elements to it that everyone should be able to enjoy, keeping it rather humorous. Feel free to leave comments and for my buddies in TianLong, hope you enjoy!
Introduction

The tavern was loud and raucous, with its patrons getting drunker by the hour. The tavern was never known for its hospitality or grace, but more for the fights that broke out and the owners recipe for Palo Amber, the greatest underground brew in all of Archosaur. Sure there were mass brewed beers and wines all over the land that claimed to be the best and their marketers would surely make you believe that the raptor urine you were drinking was the beer of kings, but everyone who tried Palo Amber was an instant fan and that was what kept the bar alive when at any time half of the regulars were in the overnight prisons for disorderly conduct. That was another successful attribute of Palo Amber that kept the tavern full; it got you drunk, real quick.

The tavern, aptly named Torgrin
Post edited by casexx on

Comments

  • casexx
    casexx Posts: 7 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Wow, so I guess there's a limit to how much I can put in one post. I'll get back to his one.
  • Kuratha - Heavens Tear
    Kuratha - Heavens Tear Posts: 13 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Sure there were mass brewed beers and wines all over the land that claimed to be the best and their marketers would surely make you believe that the raptor urine you were drinking was the beer of kings, but everyone who tried Palo Amber was an instant fan and that was what kept the bar alive when at any time half of the regulars were in the overnight prisons for disorderly conduct

    This is a terrible sentence. Break it up and expand on your ideas. Right now its just one long run-on that loses focus.
  • surtr
    surtr Posts: 3,378 Perfect World Employee
    edited May 2009
    casexx wrote: »
    Wow, so I guess there's a limit to how much I can put in one post. I'll get back to his one.
    Certain characters, such as Word's default apostrophes and quotations, can't display on the forum. Paste it into Notepad and find/replace them with unicode ones and it should work.
    ==/Senior QA Lead/==

    Surtr from the south wielding fire
    The gods' swords shine in the darkness, like stars in the night
    Mountains collapse into rubble and fiends shall fall
    Man walks the road to ruin as the sky splits in two

  • Kyna - Lost City
    Kyna - Lost City Posts: 1,597 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Actually, posting directly into the forums is horrible. Try Fanfiction.net They have a section for PWI now ^^ I have a fanfiction there and post updates in the thread I made every once in a while and people comment here as well as on the fanfiction site. Just an idea, it would probably be better.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Thanks Silvychar for the sig :D
    rikaflare.deviantart.com
    Fanfiction found on the forums or at rikasstorycorner.deviantart.com
    LOST CITY! -> home to the original badasses of PWI b:cool
    ... and a few losers....
  • Teh_fishey - Dreamweaver
    Teh_fishey - Dreamweaver Posts: 552 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    me likes fanfiction

    yummy
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Note: No thats not me... I stole that from the interwebs b:chuckle
    BTW.... YOU ROCK FORSAKENX <3

    I like to think of myself as a dog, I can be cute and cuddly but sniff people's butts and get away with it ><>

    Warlock recruiting lvl 70+ on the Dreamweaver Server.
    PM an officer for an invite.

    b:heartb:flowerb:faint
  • Delmarte - Lost City
    Delmarte - Lost City Posts: 216 Arc User
    edited June 2009
    This is a terrible sentence. Break it up and expand on your ideas. Right now its just one long run-on that loses focus.

    Not really. A few punctuation marks here and there would repair it.

    Try this!

    Sure there were mass brewed beers and wines all over the land that claimed to be the best; and their marketers would surely make you believe that the raptor urine you were drinking was the beer of kings. But everyone who tried Palo Amber was an instant fan and that was what kept the bar alive (when at any time half of the regulars were in the overnight prisons for disorderly conduct).

    Tada! Expanding your ideas would wreck the comedic value! b:angry
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    If I'm here I'm bored or procrastinating. b:cute