Biography of an Unnamed Barb, A Sanctuary Story

Qqmoar - Harshlands wrote: »

Paragraphs are your friend. Try using them if you want people to read that jumble.

Unnamed barb was born over 40 years ago. It's age is important for reasons that will be explained later. When it started it's journey through perfect world, it was no more than a tiny kitten with fingernails not worthy of being called claws. However, Unnamed barb was determined to show everyone it's might, no matter what the cost.

As it grew onward past level 35, it formed a faction to gather other idiots.er....warriors. Around this time, Unnamed barb was married to a decent and goodhearted player, what happened to her is to this day a mystery, but if i had to guess, she left Unnamed barb when he began to change. It started off decently, recruiting players like all the rest, but something happened along the way. Unnamed barb became obsessed with PvE PK (figures right?), calling itself the best of them all, and becoming more and more hated by other players. Unnamed barb did not understand why players hated it, and this made it angry, but the worst was yet to come.

Back during this time, PvE TW was still taking place for level 3 territories, and Unnamed barb's faction actually got a few of them. But then it lost them all. This made Unnamed barb even angrier, and it started to talk and argue in world chat and generally behave like a big fatheaded idiot. Remember that age thing that I mentioned before? Well when Unnamed barb argues with people and starts to look like the moron he is, he likes to ask them how old they are. I suppose he believes that if they are young enough, their point will become invalid in the minds of other players. He continues to do this obviously not realizing that he looks like an even bigger idiot for arguing with someone so young all over world chat in the first place. Due to this gradual but overwhelming change, any good members left in it's faction all ran away, and all that was left was a useless group of thug gangsta wannabe's with no respect for anyone.

This went on for awhile until, would you dare to believe it, someone else agreed to marry it. All of us were stunned and surprised, until we saw the bride. A tiny little thing, both half it's size and less than half it's age, wearing more makeup than a Jersey hooker. Apparently enthralled by Unnamed barb's unrivaled ability to behave like an **** and impressively poor speaking ability, she married it quickly and the two remain married to this day. A couple pf months after the two were wed, and enjoying their time amongst their gang of miscreants, Unnamed barb's wife ad a thought. "dear big strong Unnamed Barb, a bigger and much more powerful band of thugs is forming. Let's abandon these losers and join with them so we can be part of something unloserish." and so Unnamed barb replied, "okay only female who could ever love me".

So they abandoned their brethren of thugs and joined stronger ones. But oh no, all of a sudden Unnamed barb dd not seem as powerful as it used to, here surrounded by other high level and PK oriented players. However, it was all short lived anyway, as this faction, who recruited the most awful and reviled players based on absolutely nothing but fighting ability, quickly became hated beyond belief. As fast as they had sprung up, they were destroyed. So what happens to Unnamed barb now? Well, the thugs and lowlifes it had abandoned, let it's royal assiness right back into its old position, returning to right where it had all began. Why did they do this? Because the thugs have no power on their own. They walk in dark corners, huddling together to scrape by on those who don't know any better.

And what does every band of gangsta wannabe's need? A head gangsta yo. And I quote, "Yo yo Unnamed barb is the badassest badass around, we lure bosses to towns and kill people but wut wut they all wusses bcuz they not even go into PK mode LOL hahaha LOL LOL yo yo yo."


The End

And with thanks to south park:

All characters and events in this story, even those based on real players, are entirely fictional.

Falls - Sanctuary wrote: »

I wonder who this was about b:surrender. Also, wouldn't this Barbarian revel in his own story, however sad it is xD? Lastly, why doesn't unnamed Barb go to a PvP server, where he can get PKs (PKed) all day?


Oh and WillFire's paragraphs made it easier to read xD.

True - Harshlands wrote: »

Thanks for the block assistance, I got into typing and it didn't even occur to me to separate it. b:surrender I divided it in the same places you did, since it seems to be well accepted.

YngWiE - Sanctuary wrote: »

It's about me.

I like to go in fox form and pretend I'm a barb.

Bobncut - Sanctuary wrote: »

Even though editing this into paragraphs made for more VERTICOL LInes, I think WillFire will eventually figure out who is not named.

Bobncut - Sanctuary wrote: »

Even though editing this into paragraphs made for more VERTICOL LInes, I think WillFire will eventually figure out who is not named.

YngWiE - Sanctuary wrote: »

Haha yeah, it's pretty obvious who this person is. Unless you permanently have WC turned off

Bobncut - Sanctuary wrote: »

Could this discussion be any more focused on male genitalia?

Of course it could! With apologies to Chuck Berry, this one goes out to Big Ding-a-ling listening in the Harshlands...

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling

When I was little boy In Grammar school
Always went by the very best rule
But Evertime the bell would ring
You'd catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

Once while climbing the garden wall,
Slipped and fell had a very bad fall
I fell so hard I heard birds sing,
But I held on to My ding-a-ling

Once while swimming cross turtle creek
Man them snappers right at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my dingaling

Now this here song it ain't so bad
Prettiest little song that you ever had
And those of you who will not sing
must be playing with your on Ding-a-ling