Hire Enrage to do your TWs!
Hisui - Heavens Tear
Posts: 1,369 Arc User
Because of the overwhelming success of our anti Enrage PK regiment business, we decided to extend our franchise to a new frontier. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you:
Enrage Mercenaries
Enrage members will do your TWs for you. Yes. Ever wonder why you're losing against Triad, Legion, and RoadKill etc? It's because you're not us (Enrage.) Even though you will probably never be like us, we are offering a bit of "us" to you.
Members will be lent out every Monday. No exceptions. If you want Cat on Tuesday we say noooooo **** you missed your chance. Only Mondays.
Here is the pricing chart:
(Base Level Price + Class index) * self esteem index = Total price of member.
Base Level Price:
95+: 50 mil
90-94: 45 mil
85-89: 40 mil
80-84: 35 mil
0-79: 30 mil
Class index:
Barbs: 5 mil
Archer / Wiz: 4 mil
Clerics: 3 mil
Veno/BMs: 2 mil
Self Esteem Index:
Depends on each individual member. Enrage members with low self esteem will have a low value such as 1. Defected will have a self esteem of 10. Contact us for a self esteem index approximation.
Sample pricing:
Hisui lvl 86, extremely high self esteem due to massive layage of girlage.
(40 mil + 2mil) * 9 = 378 mil.
=========
PROCESS
=========
1) Pay up - pay us teh monies.
2) In order for GMs to overlook our shady transaction, the selected Enrage members will follow our QQ Enrage protocol to leave guild. It'll be very real.
3) Enrage members will fight every TW you have bid on for that week.
4) Profit. (for you guys of course)
5) Enrage member will quit your faction using a specified QQ protocol on Sunday evening.
FAQs:
Q: Sure win guarantee?
A: Yes. You have paid handsomely for the best service available so that already makes you a winner.
Q: I bid on Enrage.
A: We don't see whats the problem here. We're professionals.
Q: Enrage member did not show for TW.
A: If you give us a notice 100 hours in advance, Enrage will withdraw its inactive member and send another one on its way for only half the original price.
Q: I like drama so I want Enrage members to follow my own QQ script to leave my guild:
A: You got it. This is a special service we will throw in for free. Extra 5 mil fee do apply if you require Enrage members to cry in vent. Acting ability of each member may vary.
Q: Will Enrage member require TW salary from our new land (yay)?
A: Nope! This just further exemplifies our sincere generosity!
Q: My fav Enrage Mercenary is already contracted to another guild.
A: Pre-order services will soon be available so you can book Torm 5 weeks ahead of time. Woozah.
Q: I have Hisui in my guild now. Does that mean he will not write predictions for our TWs?
A: YEP! Good job catching that. Hisui will not write predictions for whichever guild hes TWing for!
Enrage Mercenaries
Enrage members will do your TWs for you. Yes. Ever wonder why you're losing against Triad, Legion, and RoadKill etc? It's because you're not us (Enrage.) Even though you will probably never be like us, we are offering a bit of "us" to you.
Members will be lent out every Monday. No exceptions. If you want Cat on Tuesday we say noooooo **** you missed your chance. Only Mondays.
Here is the pricing chart:
(Base Level Price + Class index) * self esteem index = Total price of member.
Base Level Price:
95+: 50 mil
90-94: 45 mil
85-89: 40 mil
80-84: 35 mil
0-79: 30 mil
Class index:
Barbs: 5 mil
Archer / Wiz: 4 mil
Clerics: 3 mil
Veno/BMs: 2 mil
Self Esteem Index:
Depends on each individual member. Enrage members with low self esteem will have a low value such as 1. Defected will have a self esteem of 10. Contact us for a self esteem index approximation.
Sample pricing:
Hisui lvl 86, extremely high self esteem due to massive layage of girlage.
(40 mil + 2mil) * 9 = 378 mil.
=========
PROCESS
=========
1) Pay up - pay us teh monies.
2) In order for GMs to overlook our shady transaction, the selected Enrage members will follow our QQ Enrage protocol to leave guild. It'll be very real.
3) Enrage members will fight every TW you have bid on for that week.
4) Profit. (for you guys of course)
5) Enrage member will quit your faction using a specified QQ protocol on Sunday evening.
FAQs:
Q: Sure win guarantee?
A: Yes. You have paid handsomely for the best service available so that already makes you a winner.
Q: I bid on Enrage.
A: We don't see whats the problem here. We're professionals.
Q: Enrage member did not show for TW.
A: If you give us a notice 100 hours in advance, Enrage will withdraw its inactive member and send another one on its way for only half the original price.
Q: I like drama so I want Enrage members to follow my own QQ script to leave my guild:
A: You got it. This is a special service we will throw in for free. Extra 5 mil fee do apply if you require Enrage members to cry in vent. Acting ability of each member may vary.
Q: Will Enrage member require TW salary from our new land (yay)?
A: Nope! This just further exemplifies our sincere generosity!
Q: My fav Enrage Mercenary is already contracted to another guild.
A: Pre-order services will soon be available so you can book Torm 5 weeks ahead of time. Woozah.
Q: I have Hisui in my guild now. Does that mean he will not write predictions for our TWs?
A: YEP! Good job catching that. Hisui will not write predictions for whichever guild hes TWing for!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour
Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
Enrage - We Eat.
私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour
Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
Enrage - We Eat.
Post edited by Hisui - Heavens Tear on
0
Comments
-
Why bother? Nobody would show up for our TW if we had you guys, lol.
I'd rather have a good fight, and lose, than win and have nobody from the other side show up, lol.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
~Aristotle0 -
Hisui, Let me ask you THIS! I cannot afford that all at once b:sad.
Do you have an easy and convenient payment system?"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat." ~Sun Tzu
"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
~Iron Mike Tyson Enrage.omgforum.net
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Hahaha, I love this. xD
b:laughb:laugh****.0 -
Foxx_trott - Heavens Tear wrote: »Why bother? Nobody would show up for our TW if we had you guys, lol.
I'd rather have a good fight, and lose, than win and have nobody from the other side show up, lol.
Do you live in Europe, Asia, or somewhere else with horrendous hours for TW? Tired of those repair bills breaking the bank, drinking down charms like water, and all that bothersome pre-planning? What if I told you there's a way to make all these troubles disappear?
Rent Enrage, a guaranteed waltz to the Enemies HQ. Enjoy the scenery, whack a few training dummies, or just relax inside the opposing factions walls carefree. Contact Hisui for details.Men should be either treated generously or destroyed, because they take revenge for slight injuries - for heavy ones they cannot.0 -
Hisui - Heavens Tear wrote: »Extra 5 mil fee do apply if you require Enrage members to cry in vent.
this is definately worth the cash haha b:chuckleb:cry[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
For every action, there is an equal and opposite amount of QQing0 -
i need 199 of u can i buy u all for a year/2 plz0
-
I luv this...
I was on the edge of my seat...
I laughed...
I cried...
It was beautiful man...
*sniff*
Um one question... what about enrage haters... can we rent enrage members too... and if so can we bash them while in guild... and if so will they pk us while they are in guild.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
I'm in! Where do I sign up!0
-
Hey, why are clerics so cheap? I'm worth as much as a barb! Where would THEY be without ME? DEAD DEAD DEAD! I refuse to be sold (rented) for such a low price!
Clerics on strike for better wages!0 -
their high wage is to compensate for their usual low self esteem to be playing a sucky class b:chuckle[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour
Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
Enrage - We Eat.0 -
Archer / Wiz: 4 mil
Seems like an accurate assesment. b:pleased0 -
I endorse this thread...
<paints little 11's on Defecteds self esteem meters>
ps, plz stop PKing me...0 -
Rifkind - Heavens Tear wrote: »Hey, why are clerics so cheap? I'm worth as much as a barb! Where would THEY be without ME? DEAD DEAD DEAD! I refuse to be sold (rented) for such a low price!
Clerics on strike for better wages!Confused_ - Heavens Tear wrote: »I endorse this thread...
<paints little 11's on Defecteds self esteem meters>
ps, plz stop PKing me...
Ok, Confused_ wins!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up_to_eleven0 -
hehe.
Hisui you forgot to put in the pricing for Forum trolling and trash talking plus all the new threads on just how awesome their guild is b:chuckle[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"Jesus fricking christ on a pogo stick. Your a mass of fricking idiots I swear!"
-Saitada
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....0 -
Mmm trash talking...sounds like my department :P[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
SkyKoC - How long is yours?0 -
*cough cough* i'll hire you as a spy but you must gain my trust0
-
OMG I'm only 2 million on the class index ??
I dont summon for phoenix for anything under 4 million *I blame Clunker*[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Crystabella - Heavens Tear wrote: »OMG I'm only 2 million on the class index ??
I dont summon for phoenix for anything under 4 million *I blame Clunker*
I blame Hisui on that one.. If Hisui would hurry up and get HIS pheonix he would know we are worth alot more than 2m..
You hear me Hisui! Get your **** in gear and get your pheonix![SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"Jesus fricking christ on a pogo stick. Your a mass of fricking idiots I swear!"
-Saitada
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....0 -
lend me 18 mil and Ill see what I can do.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour
Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
Enrage - We Eat.0 -
Hisui - Heavens Tear wrote: »lend me 18 mil and Ill see what I can do.
Cash Shop FTW![SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
~Aristotle0 -
Hisui - Heavens Tear wrote: »lend me 18 mil and Ill see what I can do.
What?! You still need 18m?! And you call youself a veno! tsk tsk.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"Jesus fricking christ on a pogo stick. Your a mass of fricking idiots I swear!"
-Saitada
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....0 -
you should include a instalment plan :P 2/3 yrs plan?0
-
Ahtoot - Heavens Tear wrote: »you should include a instalment plan :P 2/3 yrs plan?
Stealing my idea! How dare you. b:angry"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat." ~Sun Tzu
"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
~Iron Mike Tyson Enrage.omgforum.net
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Cat - Heavens Tear wrote: »What?! You still need 18m?! And you call youself a veno! tsk tsk.
but but I dont TT b:cry[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour
Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
Enrage - We Eat.0 -
Rifkind - Heavens Tear wrote: »Hey, why are clerics so cheap? I'm worth as much as a barb! Where would THEY be without ME? DEAD DEAD DEAD! I refuse to be sold (rented) for such a low price!
Clerics on strike for better wages!
looks like you are going to have a real high self-esteem modifier0 -
Rifkind - Heavens Tear wrote: »Hey, why are clerics so cheap? I'm worth as much as a barb! Where would THEY be without ME? DEAD DEAD DEAD! I refuse to be sold (rented) for such a low price!
Clerics on strike for better wages!
You aren't worth the dirt off of my shoe. They would probably be alive and happy, having never grouped with such a lousy healer.0 -
Another xamerican lol. Who wants to the start the poll on how long till hes banned?[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"Jesus fricking christ on a pogo stick. Your a mass of fricking idiots I swear!"
-Saitada
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....0 -
Cat - Heavens Tear wrote: »Another xamerican lol. Who wants to the start the poll on how long till hes banned?
I don't even play this game dumbass. Start a poll all you want, ban me all you want. Doesn't make two ****ing farts in the wind to me I just make another account.b:chuckleb:victory0 -
deeznuts13 wrote: »I don't even play this game dumbass. Start a poll all you want, ban me all you want. Doesn't make two ****ing farts in the wind to me I just make another account.b:chuckleb:victory
mmm your the one posting on a forum for a game you dont even play and willing to waste the time to make more accounts just to keep posting yet IM the dumbass lol. Got to love the irony there. b:bye[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"Jesus fricking christ on a pogo stick. Your a mass of fricking idiots I swear!"
-Saitada
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....0 -
Cat - Heavens Tear wrote: »mmm your the one posting on a forum for a game you dont even play and willing to waste the time to make more accounts just to keep posting yet IM the dumbass lol. Got to love the irony there. b:bye
Successful troll is successful. Feed me some more.b:chuckle0
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