Anti-Enrage PK Regiment

Hisui - Heavens Tear
Hisui - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,369 Arc User
edited January 2011 in Etherblade (West)
Due to the massive Q... protest from our Heavens Tears peers, the Enrage guild has decided to take action upon its wrongdoings around our beloved server. From now on, with Enrage's leader Clunker's permission, we will be taking request to hunt down abusive Enrage members with Enrage's own Anti-Enrage PK regiment, made up of some of Enrage's finest PKers.

Too afraid to take on Enrage? Enrage will take on Enrage for you. But the extremely fulfilling and ironic experience we offer you comes at a small fee.

Here is the required bounty on the following group of Enrage players.

Clunker - - NULL. We cannot PK our own leader. But Clunker offers to kill himself for a one time payment of 50 million coins.

Executors - Most executors are pretty easy to take down. But we still require a payment of 30 million coins for the disrespect we show to our superiors and for your entertainment. A small price to pay imo. Also, you don't need to reimburse us for the lost charm ticks that Jell and Torm's GX will certainly deliver us.

Girls - The girls in Enrage is of great importance to us. For us to go out of the line and butcher their faces in for your entertainment is pushing the morals of chivalry that is the cornerstone of Enrage. Thus, we will be charging a small fee of 10 million coins. Prices on guys playing girl characters has to be inquired on individual basis.

Defected - You probably hate him. We do too. So we're going to give you a huge discount. For a small sum of 5 million coins, we will have his head on a plate. Don't worry. He won't see a single coin that you give us. We will keep it to buy charms and drugs so we can PK more Enrage *for you*. There will be an additional "extra ironic" fee during defected week.

Other Enrage Members: Of course, the other Enrage members can often be harder to kill than officers, girls, or defected. Since we don't hate the usual Enrage member the fee will be slightly higher than Defected's bounty. 6 Million coins. Yes. Only 6 million! Just grind TT for a week we can guarantee you the death of Antigone, Bookman, ****, Hisui, and many many more choices to select from! Be sure to ask for our special offer of "Kill em by the dozen" with lucrative discounts!

Commemorative PK screenshot: For an additional 500k, (YES ONLY 500K!) We will have our experienced TW scout and camera expert Aesthor take an epic screenshot of you standing beside the fallen Enrage. Want to see yourself standing on top of Clunker with a sadness card (which is free for a limited time)? Now is your chance. Screenshot will be sent to an email you provided.

FAQ:

Q: In what ways will you kill the offending Enrage player?
A: In any way possible. It depends on the construct of our extremely professional PK regiment.

Q: What if the person I want to kill is in the regiment?
A: Ever heard of "money makes the world go round?"

Q: I want to make fun of the dead Enrage member lying before me but I am illiterate and dumb.
A: The Regiment is also trained in the art of abusive trash talking. Make defected cry, we can. Additional fees apply.

Q: How do I get started! I want an Enrage killed *NOW*
A: Reply on this thread or send a mail to Hisui with the following information: Player you want dead, why you want him/her dead, the player's location. Hits will be carried out when we receive your payment. If your payment is not enough, we're going to keep your payment as punishment for not inquiring first.

Q: Who keeps drops?
A: If the Enrage member drops gear/items from PKing, we will be holding onto it. However, depending on the item, the Regiment will give consideration selling said items to you for a discounted price. After all, we appreciate your business and want to keep you 100% satisfied.

Q: Refund policy?
A: We offer competitive refund guarantee. If the offending Enrage player wipes our entire Regiment, we will carry out our second hit attempt *absolutely free*. If you change your mind before we carry out the hit, we can refund you 50% back.

Q: The Enrage member you just killed got ressed and continued to irritate me!
A: If you got the money, we got the time baby.

Q: Where do I receive customer support?
A: We have live chat standing by. All you need is a world chat. Operators are waiting to service your every need.

Q: I have more questions!
A: Reply to this thread or send inquiries to nomoreenrage@enragepwi.com.

TESTIMONIALS:

Enrage members that will reply to this thread will further reinforce the effectiveness of our new methods.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour

Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
Enrage - We Eat.
Post edited by Hisui - Heavens Tear on
«1

Comments

  • Aesthor - Heavens Tear
    Aesthor - Heavens Tear Posts: 3,845 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    So if I'm an officer AND a girl, what's the charge on my head?

    And since I like to flame, how do players from other servers pay you for a bounty on me?

    Can I buy a bounty on my fellow officer eXtafail?

    Edit: You forgot to put the price for killing everyone else in the guild o.O
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
    SkyKoC - How long is yours?
  • EXtacy - Heavens Tear
    EXtacy - Heavens Tear Posts: 20 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    squishy fail wizard reporting for duty oh wait... damn im on the hit list.... -_-
    quick question can enrage members put out a hit on other enrage =D
    cough Aesthor b:shocked
  • Aesthor - Heavens Tear
    Aesthor - Heavens Tear Posts: 3,845 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Go My Minions! Destroy The Squishy One!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
    SkyKoC - How long is yours?
  • EXtacy - Heavens Tear
    EXtacy - Heavens Tear Posts: 20 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    RUN! i hope the safe zone will save me... wait im not a QQer. silly me =D
  • Hisui - Heavens Tear
    Hisui - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,369 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Oh ur right... added other members o_O

    edited: Dear fellow Enrage members. Please understand this wonderful service is made for non-Enrage members only! Only that can we show our generous and warming attitude to the rest of the server.

    Guys! Use this service NOW. This is something Enrage members are dying to use but cannot use. The power is in your hands.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour

    Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
    Enrage - We Eat.
  • EXtacy - Heavens Tear
    EXtacy - Heavens Tear Posts: 20 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    HA Aesthor eXtafail will not die
    b:victory
  • Aesthor - Heavens Tear
    Aesthor - Heavens Tear Posts: 3,845 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Oh ur right... added other members o_O

    edited: Dear fellow Enrage members. Please understand this wonderful service is made for non-Enrage members only! Only that can we show our generous and warming attitude to the rest of the server.

    Guys! Use this service NOW. This is something Enrage members are dying to use but cannot use. The power is in your hands.
    What? I just got denied :(

    Fine, I'll just have to PK eXtacy myself u_u
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
    SkyKoC - How long is yours?
  • Clunker - Heavens Tear
    Clunker - Heavens Tear Posts: 162 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Additional info:

    Director - Although known to the guild as a fail barb, xForbidden has been known to be a PKing machine and almost impossible to take down 1on1. Killing xForbidden will take a while and a whole party. so a payment of 40 million coins + 100k*minutes wasted hitting him will apply.

    Guys - The men of Enrage got jealous that the women got special mention on Hisui's post so i added them here. To kill any Male members of Enrage (no, men playing female characters dont count, but women playing males do) a payment of 10million will apply.


    Costs may vary according to member or the certain week.

    This week's special:
    Torm week: in celebration of Torm week, all PK orders for Torm will be charged at an amazingly low price of 20mil for a limited time only.

    Defected month: Yes, due to popular demand, the day became a week which then turned into a month. In celebration of Defected month, all PK orders for defected will cost you the amazingly low price of 4.9mil. that's 4. point. 9. mil. WOW! call now, and you'll get trash talk absolutely free!


    BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
    For a limited time only you can PK me (Clunker) and get a sadness card FREE! that's a 1 coin value absolutely free! so order/call now and avail of this one-time, great value offer!

    call 1-888-000-QQQQ

    that's

    1-888-000-QQQQ (7777)

    call now! Our operators are ready and waiting to take down your orders!

    *EDIT*
    additional fees such as shipping and handling (flying to a certain area) may apply.

    Enrage PKing is not for the weak-hearted, consult with your doctor.

    Government Warning: Enrage PKing is dangerous for your PWI health, if symptoms such as random spurts of rage, and QQ /wrist sessions occur, consult your mom.

    Enrage Trash talking is not rated by the ESRB.
  • Aesthor - Heavens Tear
    Aesthor - Heavens Tear Posts: 3,845 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    so a payment of 40 million coins + 100k*minutes wasted hitting on him will apply.

    Wait what? You're gonna hit on him for pay? O_O
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
    SkyKoC - How long is yours?
  • Clunker - Heavens Tear
    Clunker - Heavens Tear Posts: 162 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Testimonial:
    I got an order to kill myself a minute ago and it was awesome! I went over to Swamp of the Wraith and went towards Sonic Oppressor, I perditioned him and I instantly died! It was such a great experience!
  • Aesthor - Heavens Tear
    Aesthor - Heavens Tear Posts: 3,845 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    I'm expecting an increase in TW pay this week then >_>
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
    SkyKoC - How long is yours?
  • Hisui - Heavens Tear
    Hisui - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,369 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Its true! Thanks to our very first customer!

    Check out the commemorative screenshot that we gave out for FREE! Offer available for our first ten customers!

    Commemorative screenshot link
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour

    Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
    Enrage - We Eat.
  • Khosh - Heavens Tear
    Khosh - Heavens Tear Posts: 36 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    This thread is made of win.
  • Veltore - Heavens Tear
    Veltore - Heavens Tear Posts: 79 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    The screenshot of dead Flunker was priceless.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Xamericanx - Heavens Tear
    Xamericanx - Heavens Tear Posts: 21 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Due to the massive Q... protest from our Heavens Tears peers, the Enrage guild has decided to take action upon its wrongdoings around our beloved server. From now on, with Enrage's leader Clunker's permission, we will be taking request to hunt down abusive Enrage members with Enrage's own Anti-Enrage PK regiment, made up of some of Enrage's finest PKers.

    Too afraid to take on Enrage? Enrage will take on Enrage for you. But the extremely fulfilling and ironic experience we offer you comes at a small fee.

    Here is the required bounty on the following group of Enrage players.

    Clunker - - NULL. We cannot PK our own leader. But Clunker offers to kill himself for a one time payment of 50 million coins.

    Executors - Most executors are pretty easy to take down. But we still require a payment of 30 million coins for the disrespect we show to our superiors and for your entertainment. A small price to pay imo. Also, you don't need to reimburse us for the lost charm ticks that Jell and Torm's GX will certainly deliver us.

    Girls - The girls in Enrage is of great importance to us. For us to go out of the line and butcher their faces in for your entertainment is pushing the morals of chivalry that is the cornerstone of Enrage. Thus, we will be charging a small fee of 10 million coins. Prices on guys playing girl characters has to be inquired on individual basis.

    Defected - You probably hate him. We do too. So we're going to give you a huge discount. For a small sum of 5 million coins, we will have his head on a plate. Don't worry. He won't see a single coin that you give us. We will keep it to buy charms and drugs so we can PK more Enrage *for you*. There will be an additional "extra ironic" fee during defected week.

    Other Enrage Members: Of course, the other Enrage members can often be harder to kill than officers, girls, or defected. Since we don't hate the usual Enrage member the fee will be slightly higher than Defected's bounty. 6 Million coins. Yes. Only 6 million! Just grind TT for a week we can guarantee you the death of Antigone, Bookman, ****, Hisui, and many many more choices to select from! Be sure to ask for our special offer of "Kill em by the dozen" with lucrative discounts!

    Commemorative PK screenshot: For an additional 500k, (YES ONLY 500K!) We will have our experienced TW scout and camera expert Aesthor take an epic screenshot of you standing beside the fallen Enrage. Want to see yourself standing on top of Clunker with a sadness card (which is free for a limited time)? Now is your chance. Screenshot will be sent to an email you provided.

    FAQ:

    Q: In what ways will you kill the offending Enrage player?
    A: In any way possible. It depends on the construct of our extremely professional PK regiment.

    Q: What if the person I want to kill is in the regiment?
    A: Ever heard of "money makes the world go round?"

    Q: I want to make fun of the dead Enrage member lying before me but I am illiterate and dumb.
    A: The Regiment is also trained in the art of abusive trash talking. Make defected cry, we can. Additional fees apply.

    Q: How do I get started! I want an Enrage killed *NOW*
    A: Reply on this thread or send a mail to Hisui with the following information: Player you want dead, why you want him/her dead, the player's location. Hits will be carried out when we receive your payment. If your payment is not enough, we're going to keep your payment as punishment for not inquiring first.

    Q: Who keeps drops?
    A: If the Enrage member drops gear/items from PKing, we will be holding onto it. However, depending on the item, the Regiment will give consideration selling said items to you for a discounted price. After all, we appreciate your business and want to keep you 100% satisfied.

    Q: Refund policy?
    A: We offer competitive refund guarantee. If the offending Enrage player wipes our entire Regiment, we will carry out our second hit attempt *absolutely free*. If you change your mind before we carry out the hit, we can refund you 50% back.

    Q: The Enrage member you just killed got ressed and continued to irritate me!
    A: If you got the money, we got the time baby.

    Q: Where do I receive customer support?
    A: We have live chat standing by. All you need is a world chat. Operators are waiting to service your every need.

    Q: I have more questions!
    A: Reply to this thread or send inquiries to nomoreenrage@enragepwi.com.

    TESTIMONIALS:

    Enrage members that will reply to this thread will further reinforce the effectiveness of our new methods.

    lol acting tough in a game makes you feel worthy of your otherwise worthless existence.. HOW SaD.
  • Hisui - Heavens Tear
    Hisui - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,369 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Just pay us the money and you can act tough too!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour

    Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
    Enrage - We Eat.
  • Xamericanx - Heavens Tear
    Xamericanx - Heavens Tear Posts: 21 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Just pay us the money and you can act tough too!

    I dont have real life issues i dont need to act cool in a game.
  • Defected - Heavens Tear
    Defected - Heavens Tear Posts: 637 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    b:cryb:cryb:cryb:cry
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Changed my mind. Permanently Retired - Only here to troll.
  • Djkinetic - Heavens Tear
    Djkinetic - Heavens Tear Posts: 20 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Or they could just pay me to kill u guys b:chuckle
  • Hisui - Heavens Tear
    Hisui - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,369 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Or they could just pay me to kill u guys b:chuckle

    But said Enrage offender might not be in SP and close enough to the wall b:surrender
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    私の番ですよ。- Sig by Symour

    Check out ForsakenX 's sig thread O_O
    Enrage - We Eat.
  • Cat - Heavens Tear
    Cat - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,187 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    I dont have real life issues i dont need to act cool in a game.

    Yeah you just need to act cool on the forums lol.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Jesus fricking christ on a pogo stick. Your a mass of fricking idiots I swear!"
    -Saitada

    Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....
  • sleepcat
    sleepcat Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    What is a GX weapon? :p
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Tanri - Heavens Tear
    Tanri - Heavens Tear Posts: 28 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Rofl, nice post
  • Kealani - Heavens Tear
    Kealani - Heavens Tear Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Best thread ever.

    Now to wait for the Enrage hater swarms >.>
  • Defected - Heavens Tear
    Defected - Heavens Tear Posts: 637 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    "Q: I want to make fun of the dead Enrage member lying before me but I am illiterate and dumb."

    ahahahahaha!

    I laughed VERY hard at this post, but that line just cracked me the hell up. b:laugh
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Changed my mind. Permanently Retired - Only here to troll.
  • Aesthor - Heavens Tear
    Aesthor - Heavens Tear Posts: 3,845 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    lol acting tough in a game makes you feel worthy of your otherwise worthless existence.. HOW SaD.
    Actually I wonder who is the one acting tough. You, the person blowing everyone off, or us, having some laughs.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
    SkyKoC - How long is yours?
  • Torm - Heavens Tear
    Torm - Heavens Tear Posts: 135 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    sleepcat wrote: »
    What is a GX weapon? :p

    well i could explain but its must easier to show you. This is what you do. You must first turn pk mode on. Then find a place on the map far away from a safe zone. Then type " /Torm i need to know what a gx is ( the coordinates to your location)" Stay there and you will recieve your answer promptly.
  • Notbad - Heavens Tear
    Notbad - Heavens Tear Posts: 374 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    Yes i need you to kill a certian enrage member >_> *cough* goes by the name Defected *cough* *gives money* make it clean, nobody should find out *leaves* b:avoid keep the change
    b:shedtearb:infuriatedb:irritated
    b:sleep
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Baby theres no other super star you know that i'll be..Listening to lady gaga b:laugh
  • Notbad - Heavens Tear
    Notbad - Heavens Tear Posts: 374 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    ok my coordinates are 478,297 come and tell me what a gx weapon is :D....i'm waiting ...and watching b:bye
    b:shedtearb:infuriatedb:irritated
    b:sleep
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Baby theres no other super star you know that i'll be..Listening to lady gaga b:laugh
  • Keyne - Heavens Tear
    Keyne - Heavens Tear Posts: 202 Arc User
    edited April 2009
    You guys take checks?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
This discussion has been closed.