PW Intro: Urbanized Version

In the beginning, God's adopted Chinese stepbrother Jackie Chan, bored out of his freakin' mind, decided to follow in his brother's footsteps and create a kickass universe. He borrowed God's Terraformulux-3000 and created His ideal landscape, which strangely resembled feudal China. He then took out a box of Instant Creatures, dumped it into his world's oceans, and stirred thoroughly. The first...err, well, second humans were created...but they were a rowdy bunch. They threw wild drunken ****-sex parties nightly that went well into the morning, causing massive riots and collateral damage. They also drove Ford Pintos, did cocaine, and voluntarily watched Fox News.

Jackie Chan was abhorred by what he created, so he dumped the world into the trash bin in a panicked rage so that his brother wouldn't find out his ideas of creating a better world than him failed. After a while he gave it a second thought and decided to use "other" ingredients to create ideal species.

Using dead skin cells from his face before washing it in the morning, he created Humans.
Using an electric shaver, he created Furries from his hair.
Using a razorblade and a Linkin Park album, he used his blood to create the Elves.

Together they lived in harmony...until the previous batch of creatures awoke from their hangovers and noticed they were replaced. Wraiths, they were called. Simply because they had one too many LotR fans among them. They drank some more and confronted the happy three races, who lived together in harmony. Enraged by the bright lights, positive atmosphere, practice of abstinence, and their own drunken stupor, they have engaged in an epic war against the triumvirate. Jackie Chan, however, is nowhere to be found this time. He mentioned something about filming some B-list animated childrens' cartoon show.