Online friendship = absurd

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear wrote: »

Well, sir, I must say that you deserve very high commendations for your acts of charity in this usually dark world! ^_^ And even though I cannot say the same for myself, being 18-years old in a part-time university job and whatnot, I do take some solace in my own acts of charity in-game. And to your question, I answer yes, I can trust someone when I meet them, because that's just who I am. You can call me "naive" or "pushover", but every one of my friends finds that particular attribute quite heartwarming.

But yes, it is true; our definitions of friendship are quite different. I do believe that friendships can not only be forged online, but also in a short amount of time. That's how I've always been, both on and off PWI; making friends left and right, just because I'm funny, optimistic, and a bit hyper. But either way, as long as you have friends beside you, on and off the computer, happiness is always within your grasp.

Wishing everyone in this game all the best...

--Konari Raiden, humble Wizard of Heaven's Tear.

It is not about charity, it is about trust, it is about what friends stand for. You are not friends if someone just go to the bar with you or play football with you every so often. Your friends are who will trust you and support you when you are in really difficult time, who will trade you as you are part of their family (may be a Chinese family b:laugh). Oops, I think I probably went too far, so I will just stop here. and I agree with the last part in your post. b:bye

One thing you can surmize from all this is there are a lot of lonely people playing videogames. There are thousands of sites dedicated to finding a date, yet instead of using that option a lot of people seek love in a videogame. A lot play videogames so they can use it as a dating service from what i've seen. They'll stop playing the game to go spend hours with someone on a virtual date. I mean really, in the format it is in it does scream of desperation.

One thing a lot of people don't realise is that appearances matter. We all judge a book by it's cover. There is not a single person alive who does not get impressions just by how someone looks. Attractive or unattractive can have positive and negative consequences right away. People act different to someone who is attractive, and very differently to someone who is not.

But online you remove the appearance factor out, and you're left with the invidual, and thats fine and good for a lot of you to say "I want to know how the person is not how they look". And that's more then likely because you yourself are not very attractive, extremely shy, no self-confidence to approach the opposite sex in real life, but online you take away the appearance and you are a different person.

The emotional ties these people form are very real to them because they have no other experiences. The line of real and virtual blurrs when the virtual offers more to someone then the real. But you have to remember it's still virtual at the end of the day. Everyone is perfect online. It's called Perfect World, oddly enough. The avatars are pretty, so visually it is nice. Then when two people meet they will act how the other likes, knowingly or unknowingly, and they'll become a couple.

It is a videogame designed for re-creational purposes. Starting a relationship on an illusion of perfection will end in heartbeak 9/10 times. And to re-etirate, it is a videogame. You're not supposed to live your life in this virtual one, you're supposed to enjoy this one to have fun and relax. If you forgoe seeing real life friends so you wont miss a raid, if you skip out going out so you can stay in and play by yourself, if you pass up opportunities to socialize in real life with real people, so you can sit by yourself and socialize with virtual people, then you have a problem. If you find your days pre-occupied with game events of last night, if you become an emotional wreck in real-life over something on the internet, then you have a problem.

No one likes to hear they have a problem, nor do they want to accept it. But internet addiction is the new alcoholism of the 21st century. Within a decade you will see centers for internet rehab pop up all over the place, already a few now. The internet can be an addiction, and when a leisurely videogame turns into an emotional rollercoaster, when a casual passtime turns into a lifestyle, when the virtual becomes more important then the real then there is a seriously problem that needs to be addressed. It's a disease like any other, it can be treated, it can be helped. You are not contagious, you just have a problem like a drug addict has. You get on that emotional rush online, and offline you don't have it so you are depressed when not on the computer.

Some people on the computer are completely different people because of that fact. Online they get the emotional satisfaction they crave and can function like they want to. Offline they don't have that so they can't be who they want to be. My advice to anyone who believes they have this problem is find a physical activity and do it. Go swimming, biking, buy a treadmill or a stationary bike. Join the gym, go running, hiking, change the way you eat, just basically get yourself healthy physically. Because the mind can never be healthy if the body is not. The two are linked, if your body is unhealthy, meaning fat, out of shape, weak, then your mind cannot be healthy. You think stephen hawkings does not have severe psycological problems? And you're not he anyway.

Just take my advice, get yourself in shape. The endorphine high alone will make it so you feel better more and more every day. And once you are physically fit, you will feel more confident mentally to be the kind of person you are online, in the real world. Anyone who read all that, please don't dismiss what i said and concider if it applies to you. It can change your life and make you more happy. b:victory

Though I have been RP gaming longer than most of you have been alive, this whole MMORPG thing is very new to me, only about two months. On the other hand, for the last 11 years I have been involved in an online virtual desktop RPG game with dozens of players from around the world. Before that, I ran a gaming hobby shop for several years and played face to face with easily that many. Prior to running the shop, I play there for many more years, in total; I have been RPing for 30 years now. Enough prolog.
Concerning the people I have met online . . . I have never had a bad experience. Maybe it is the nature of my games, maybe I was just lucky, I don’t know. Out of all of those people I have met only one, the one who is my steadiest player. In fact she plays here with me, as does her husband and two sons. Others I have befriended online have grown to be important to me and I’d help them any way I could if they should ever ask.
The trouble is, the other side of online. When I started chatting online I did it out of curiosity, nothing more. I came in with no expectations and never tried to portray myself as anything more than myself. (Except when in character of course.) I started making friend very quickly. This interested my wife who is NOT a gamer of any type.
The type of people she has encountered is down-right disgusting. They are mean, evil, vindictive lying sacks of **** that delight in nothing more than trying their best to upset others. I have no idea why she continues to place herself in situations that puts her in contact with them. Just exactly what brought that little group of jerks together? Politics. She chats in political chat-rooms. With ADULTS. Give me a mass of kids playing an RPG anytime.
I have given the same advice to all of my online friends . . . we are all just masks here protected by the anonymity of the computer. How people act towards you is their basic nature, be it friend and helpful or rotten to the core. The computer frees us all from the inhibitions of a face to face meeting and allows for us to be ourselves, for better or worse. Take people with a grain of salt but I have found the first impression is generally the correct one especially when the one on the other side of that mask has no fear of you.

Saitada - Sanctuary wrote: »

I both agree and disagree with what you said. I spend a lot of time online, but more than anything else, it's because of my work (I do web design and hosting). This also means I spend a lot of time talking with people online. Many of them have become very good friends both in real life, and via the internet.

Thankfully I live in Hawai'i though where winters are to say the least, Mild and I can go outside and surf, sailboard, fish etc pretty much everyday. In colder climates (I'm originally from Washington State and have also live in Wisconsin) that is not as easy or attractive to do when it's winter and very cold.

I found myself spending a lot more time online and in chatrooms etc. in cold climates, than I do here in Hawai'i. While what you say is true it's also a gross generalization and not everyone will fit that mold. Sadly though a lot will.

~Saitada

Well I did state "If this applies to you..." not "everyone who reads this is...". I know a lot of people who play to unwined, or when it's ugly outside, or at work when they're bored. They go online, on facebook, youtube, videogames. But those same people don't spend all day on the computer at work to come home and spend all night on the computer. They meet up after work, grab a bite, go to the gym, go swimming, do something to unwined from the internet. I've seriously noticed the internet can be mentally draining. The few times i've spent too long online i'm exhausted and i dont feel good. And it's not physical exhaustion its mental exhaustion from staring at a screen for so long.

So to people who spend 8+ hours a day staring into a computer screen, even worst for those who do so at work then at home, i am saying you need to cut that down and do some physical activities. The body is an engine, if you don't take care of it, it will break down on you eventually. I currently work in the field of health and fitness so i have met a lot of people who's health problems are directly related to over-usage of the computer. Especially younger people don't realise the serious consequences they'll face by the time they are 30 and 40 when they spend 10 hours a day on the computer from the age of 13+. I am 25 btw.

You sound like you're doing ok thought Saitada. You surf, you go out, you get some fresh air, you exercise and play online to pass the time at work basically. b:victory

Drazo - Heavens Tear wrote: »

The only 'friends' I have in-game are mostly my guild mates....and maybe Kantorek....but then again who doesn't like Kantorek? b:laugh

Kantorek's a big ol' bed-wetting doody-head.

The Dark Side has cookies. I couldn't resist.

surtr wrote: »

Kantorek's a big ol' bed-wetting doody-head.

And a scared chicken to boot!