Online friendship = absurd
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Baobhansidhe - Heavens Tear
Posts: 36 Arc User
Not to digress in another thread, let's continue here Mr Forp.
( I like the sound of that. It reminds me of "hello Mr Felps" ^_^ )
I said :
To which you replied :
So let's make this perfectly clear.
I have friends. I know them in real life, I see them, we go out together from time to time, holiday trips, cinema, that kind of things. They are often online, and I do care about them. With time one of them became especially dear to me and if life do not part us I hope we'll cross the line and put our names at the bottom of a special register in the years to come. Or not. It's not necessary after all.
There's also random people that for whatever reason added me to some "friend list". They do not know me. I do not know them. I know they have feeling, that's why I am courteous and helpful to a certain point. But they are no more than that. Unknown random people. Names that write phrases. There's not even any voice tone in a chat log, no looks, no face. They are ... not mere data, but ... mmm ... masks, maybe. At best, abstract images of people, that do not convey any intimacy whatsoever.
Those who feel sentiments for an online nickname, sometimes to the point of falling in love ... I truthfully, wholeheartedly, sincerely think those people are suffering from delusion and/or depression and should consult a medical specialist in the field of psychiatry.
( I like the sound of that. It reminds me of "hello Mr Felps" ^_^ )
I said :
1) You can't care for somebody you don't know in the flesh. Online nicknames are just that : online letters.
To which you replied :
Online or not, both still have feelings. are you saying you don't care about your online-friends? or do you even have any?
So let's make this perfectly clear.
I have friends. I know them in real life, I see them, we go out together from time to time, holiday trips, cinema, that kind of things. They are often online, and I do care about them. With time one of them became especially dear to me and if life do not part us I hope we'll cross the line and put our names at the bottom of a special register in the years to come. Or not. It's not necessary after all.
There's also random people that for whatever reason added me to some "friend list". They do not know me. I do not know them. I know they have feeling, that's why I am courteous and helpful to a certain point. But they are no more than that. Unknown random people. Names that write phrases. There's not even any voice tone in a chat log, no looks, no face. They are ... not mere data, but ... mmm ... masks, maybe. At best, abstract images of people, that do not convey any intimacy whatsoever.
Those who feel sentiments for an online nickname, sometimes to the point of falling in love ... I truthfully, wholeheartedly, sincerely think those people are suffering from delusion and/or depression and should consult a medical specialist in the field of psychiatry.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Post edited by Baobhansidhe - Heavens Tear on
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Comments
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Many couples met online and took it to the next level.
Not all online people have to be just names that write phases, if you let them they can become way more than that.
It's just harder to know who isnt a complete ****.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
^^ Made by Saitada ^^
Dieho: I win 15 on 1, I roll all of your guild to sz all by myself !
Lessie: Proof?
Dieho: I dont have any, but my word is more than enough.
Lessie: Well I won 33 on 1 the other day
b:cute0 -
Yes but in any case, they met in real life before deciding to go to the next level. That's my point.
Meeting online can only give you a feeling of "Mmm, I should meet this guy and see if what he's made of".[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
For me personally. I got a very closed circle of friends. My online friends are my real life friends.
The rest are just Aquaintances.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
A GOAT always THINKS it's a lion......untill it meets a REAL LION!!!!!0 -
I agree on the most part that online relations should be kept online, but sometimes things just work out between people and they really become friends, even though they never see each other. While it's true that it's hard to compare genuine feelings to the interactions you have online, it's still possible for some people to get past that barrier. I still have friends I've never seen drop me a message on AIM, even though I met them 7-8 years ago and we don't play the game we met on anymore.
Edit: Were you talking only about couples? Ya I wouldn't accept a proposal without seeing the guy first and maybe spending a month or six with him first....[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
ಥ_ಥ MOAR.
SkyKoC - How long is yours?0 -
Baobhansidhe - Heavens Tear wrote: »Not to digress in another thread, let's continue here Mr Forp.
( I like the sound of that. It reminds me of "hello Mr Felps" ^_^ )
I said :
To which you replied :
So let's make this perfectly clear.
I have friends. I know them in real life, I see them, we go out together from time to time, holiday trips, cinema, that kind of things. They are often online, and I do care about them. With time one of them became especially dear to me and if life do not part us I hope we'll cross the line and put our names at the bottom of a special register in the years to come. Or not. It's not necessary after all.
There's also random people that for whatever reason added me to some "friend list". They do not know me. I do not know them. I know they have feeling, that's why I am courteous and helpful to a certain point. But they are no more than that. Unknown random people. Names that write phrases. There's not even any voice tone in a chat log, no looks, no face. They are ... not mere data, but ... mmm ... masks, maybe. At best, abstract images of people, that do not convey any intimacy whatsoever.
Those who feel sentiments for an online nickname, sometimes to the point of falling in love ... I truthfully, wholeheartedly, sincerely think those people are suffering from delusion and/or depression and should consult a medical specialist in the field of psychiatry.
hmm I would have to disagree with you on a couple points. I met my second wife online. We talked a lot, then moved to phone conversations and then met in real life. We dated a bit, and eventually married. Due to some major religious differences (she's Baptist, i'm different) we eventually divorced, but not because we didn't still care about one another. Simply because we were unable to get past our spiritual differences (to be specific.. I am Pagan and she is Southern Baptist). She knows that should she ever need a hand, all she needs to do is call me and i'll do what I can to help. We still remain friends.
My Current G/F and I met online as well. We talked online for several years and became good friends. We talked on the phone for a while and then moved the relationship into deeper waters. We now live in Hawai'i together, are happy as can be, enjoy one another's company greatly, and have a wonderful relationship.
My first wife and I met in real life. We dated for about 2 years and then she got pregnant. Being a man that believes in doing the right thing, I moved up my plans to Marry her by a year and we Wed. It wasn't until after she had broken my sons leg at 4 months of age, and got Child Protective Services in our lives that I found out my son wasn't my son after all.
Your beliefs and experiences aside. Don't make judgements about people finding one another through an Online media. It happens, and not all bad things come from it. I have two wonderful friends, one I married and one I may marry in the future if life walks us down that path.
I wouldn't have met either if it wasn't for the Internet. And sadly if I had not met my first wife in real life, I never would have gone through the heartache I did with her.
~Saitada
*edit* I have a fairly large number of friends I have met online. Talked with for long periods of time and eventually met in real life and had coffee or a dinner or just a walk around their town. Usually when I was passing through or near their locations (I did a lot of traveling for work for a while). Not a single one of them would have become my friends, had I not met them online and became friends with them there first.0 -
Very well written saitada, I have two people on my "friend" list that I considered real friends. I only know one of them in RL the other I met on here, If someone doesn't develope some kind of connection with a person or people they chat with on a daily or even a few days a week you have no compasion and as a human fail!0
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Love is an extreme case, but yet.
You didn't fall in love with an online name.
You went RL to see who they were really.
You met, dated, and so on, so it was a real relationship with a real person.
See what I mean ?
You were not infatuated with a phantasm you built around an online name, and did not act on that phantasm alone.
But some people do genuinely feel for an online name, like that guy who is paying stuff to a pretend girl he never even saw.
And that's not sane nor healthy.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Yer right, I'm not friends with the name, I'm friends with the face behind the name ;3Back.0
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Different people connect through different ways. For me a person is entirely based on their mind, I have met people online and then seen pictures of them, heard them through voicechat and I am sure if I were to meet the people in person I would think the exact same way about them.
Now that is me, that is what I feel the core of the person is, for some people they may not be able to even think of someone as a person until they have seen them in the flesh and only then will they be able to form a friendship. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, just that that isn't how everyone thinks.0 -
I have alot of friends both here and in a virtual world, and before that in mIRC chat rooms. people whom i spoke with in depth and know me better then anyone in RL do.
My current bf whom i met online and have known 3 years we have only met in person once (he is in england i am in the usa) and i trusted he was the person i met online to go there to see him and spend 3 weeks with him. he was everything i expected and more.
My current roommate I also met online and moved cross country .. I had never met her in person before i moved here, been living with her over a year now and we get along well.
I dont care if its in a virtual enviroment I still can connect with them on a personal / friendship level.
Just because you cant understand it, or choose not to doesnt make it absurb[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
i have friends online that i know better than friends in real life. i care about some of them more too. by telling me i cannot care about another person online, you've simply shown me how ignorant you are. making friends is essential in an online game as they would get very boring very fast if you didn't.
oddly enough, my real life friends don't play too many games online, as they're all very busy people(school, work, families). it's hard for them as it is for me, so having friends online is nice. in your eyes, these aren't friends? what are they? a mask? i know them, they know me, we know each other very well. we share personal opinions, converse daily, and share feelings with one another. this still makes them not my friend and i cannot care about them?0 -
Different cases, different situations, different stories. Not all are as concrete as you say it. From the outside you assume things but you really can't say it like you know it. Your opinion is fine, I respect that but really, make sure to leave it as that.
To me either way, the person on the other line is human, that's all that would matter correct? I guess, just being glad its a human on the other line. Yes there is sick minded idiots who we call "predators" and pedophiles but thats just the same as going to a bar and taking your chances of not being dosed with a sleep drug and being carried into a dark alley way. YES there are moments of people going all "lovey dovey" and saying "OH S/HES MY SOUL MATE, I HAVE TO MEET UP WITH EM" and after that it doesn't work out, just the same as any regular relationship.
Some may never see each other again and some may. You can't really say online dating or having close friends online is a fraud and quite wrong. It just depends on how much your willing to take it.
As for me? Well I do quite cherish my friends online, because I can relate to them, you make it seem like having a true friend is to see right at them IRL and stare at there pimple while they laugh or look up there nose for hair while they look up or something. I really can't come to agree with you that online friendships can be a fraud or how ever you say it to be.
People are different, you are different, see where I'm getting at here?
In other words.
I think this thread is quite pointless ( excuse my blunt comment?) BECAUSE this issue/scenario is one of those types where your just going to keep on debating and someone is going to eventually pop and get aggressive about it. Pointless, because like I said: Different cases, different situations, different stories, just look at the peoples posts already, they got stories to tell and each one seems quite promising or quite..unpromising.
So you can't really say online friendship or dating is a total failure. Sure there are some cases of INFATUATION but then again it happens IRL too.
What am I saying?
There is no end to this topic.0 -
Oh and also to mention, you are posting in a MMO forum, where PW is required to have people interact with each other within the game itself. Your going to have a hard time proving this without people being very biased.
Best of luck?
-Wing0 -
I want you to look over our heads:
Does the symbolize no feelings or caring for one another? I believe it does.0 -
The only 'friends' I have in-game are mostly my guild mates....and maybe Kantorek....but then again who doesn't like Kantorek? b:laugh
But even just that is enough for me. Other times I just like to be on my own, less hassle that way. b:pleasedNon-mule alts:
Drazo - Venomancer - Dreamweaver - Semi-active
Knatami - Barbarian - Heavens Tear - Inactive
Drazorus - Archer - Sanctuary - Inactive
Cidemami - Cleric - Dreamweaver - Inactive
Recilsami - Blademaster - Heavens Tear - Inactive
DrazoThePsy - Psychic - Dreamweaver - Active
DrazoTheSas - Assassin - Dreamweaver - Active0 -
WlNG - Heavens Tear wrote: »(... ...) thats just the same as going to a bar and taking your chances of not being dosed with a sleep drug(... ...)
b:shocked
That's just outright suicidal ! Are you mad ?!
One may as well play russian roulette, at least the bullets don't want to kill you !
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Some people are just narrow-minded, when you interact with people in any way it is possible to become friends over time, share thoughts, problems and it is possible through any kind of interaction you have with that pearson.0
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If, by all means, this was true, why should I pay any kind of attention to you? You're just a name that writes phrases, as you say.
However, what I try to keep in mind is that behind that name, behind those phrases, is another person. And I must say that I find most of my "online" friends are far closer friends than any I have in RL.
Why? Because I have the thinnest veil of anonymity. I can open my very soul to them, baring the innermost mechanics of my spirit, and if something goes wrong..? Press Delete, and no one will know who you really were unless you told them. I can confide in them a lot different than I can with RL friends, because the normally accepted social barriers are different.
To take an example: In real life, if someone walks up to you wearing nothing but his underwear and starts demanding cookies... We'd walk away very fast and call the nice people in the white coats. On PWI? We laugh and probably end up arguing over imaginary cookies. Online "life" is much more open, much more accepting. It takes truly disturbing things to make us act negatively as a whole, and even then... "/mute [person]" is all that it takes, and they've gone POOF out of our lives with their talking.
I'm not saying that RL and online friendships are different, because they are. But, it is fully possible to have really good, close friends that you have never seen the face of. Heck, if I was to describe one of my dearest and oldest online friends visually, I'd say "he's a wolf with glasses and a book". Talked with him for 10 years; never seen his face, never heard his voice. He's still a dear friend. Even if the only way I know him is through text.0 -
I have very good RL friends and very good online friends, too. Other than the means of getting to know each other, there isn't much difference. Online you are going to meet and chat to a lot more people than in RL, so most of the people you're going to talk to will remain aquaintances at best, maybe that explains the "online relationships are always superficial" notion. And of course, face to face communication is a more efficient means of communication than typing in chat, but in the end that doesn't mean you can't befriend people that way.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0
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I love my online friends! Yeah, it's true that I haven't seen any of them before in real life, but that doesn't make a difference to me! Friendship and relationships can occur anytime, anywhere, as long as you make it happen!
The director and leader of my current faction are good friends to me, and most of my factionmates and I love talking about what's goin' on in our lives outside of PWI (well, for them...PWI is my life...hehe, I kid, I kid...), and even help each other with any stressful problems we may have, or celebrate any real-life achievements we have earned (By the way, congrats on the new baby on the way, Silent! ^_^).
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with your statement; I've forged many friendships with various people of the years in my ongoing MMO experiences, and even though I may not have seen the vast majority of them in real-life, they know that if they ever have a problem or just want to talk, they can always find me!
"Life is what you make of it; be your own God." b:victory[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Yeah, it's me. Don't read to much into it, though; I'm only here for myself now, killin' time and chillin' when need-be. So sue me. Tch...0 -
Baobhansidhe - Heavens Tear wrote: »Yes but in any case, they met in real life before deciding to go to the next level. That's my point.
Meeting online can only give you a feeling of "Mmm, I should meet this guy and see if what he's made of".
No all the time, I met my wife over 10 years ago in a public chat. After months of just talking her, I proposed her without seeing her in person (just pics and webcam, we were even in different countries).
She acepted, we married, we have two kids (another one coming) and everything is going great.
Do I recommend to do it like this? of course not, but that's how it happended to me.0 -
The argument may as well be:
"You can only be friends with someone you have been in combat with."
"You can only be friends with people you have worked with."
"You can only be friends with people you have never met."
"You can only be friends with people that write their posts in blue text."
"You can only be friends with people that have cats as pets."
"You can only befriend people whose online personas are based on Scottish mythology."
The definition of what constitutes the possability of friendship can constitute any number of factors. Just don't expect anyone else to use the same definition because, as the other posters have put it, we are all different.
-w0 -
From the point of view of falling in love online:
LOVE=TRUST
It's just common sense that you don't give your trust to a person you only know online. You should go to the next level, which is going beyond the online relationship, and meet if possible, and then earn each other's trust.
Online players/users are people so you should set a certain level of civility while in-game/online.
Online dates/meetings are a good start but to have real relationships means both should move beyond that.0 -
Online friends and relationships can and do exist. Some people I've met online are some of the best people I have ever met. Have I met all of them? No. But we have accepted each other as friends over time. I have met a few online friends in real life, and the friendship is still strong.
I have had my share of online relationships as well. And while they don't always work out, its better than having the temptation or ability to get knocked up.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Online friendships can be a double edged sword.
In my own case I trust my friends online and I believe they trust me too. But I also know the case of my sister who for good reason stays away from online friendships. It wasn't always like that with her. In another game she had great friends who helped her even through the death of our mother. A couple months later something happened in real life and she ended up in hospital for a week. When she came out, she left hospital against doctor advice, she found out her msn and game account were both ****. She managed to get in contact with her friends only to be told she is a liar and wanted to make drama. Her best online friend at the time wouldn't even listen to her and started spreading rumours about her. In the end my sister broke all contact with them. She stayed and made new friends only to be betrayed by them too over what had happened with her old friends. That is when she left the game for a while.
6 months later by accident I met her old best friend on another server and the two came in contact again. That woman thinking I was my sister, I let my sister play my account at times then, tried the same with me warning my friends off I mean. Didn't work I had warned my friends of what kind of person she was and they had met my sister already. To this day my sister when online doesn't party she solos and stays away from people through that one person. They both still play the same game and at times speak now. I believe now from observing the two that the woman believes my sister. Neither of them ever brought up what happened to each other and my sister lost her trust in people online. But this person is trying to win my sisters trust back inviting her to partys and offering her help where she can. They duo at times but everytime that woman asks my sister to party with a couple of her other friends my sister refuses. I can understand my sisters point can you?
Just be carefull in whom you put your trust.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]0 -
Konariraiden - Heavens Tear wrote: »I love my online friends! Yeah, it's true that I haven't seen any of them before in real life, but that doesn't make a difference to me! Friendship and relationships can occur anytime, anywhere, as long as you make it happen!
The director and leader of my current faction are good friends to me, and most of my factionmates and I love talking about what's goin' on in our lives outside of PWI (well, for them...PWI is my life...hehe, I kid, I kid...), and even help each other with any stressful problems we may have, or celebrate any real-life achievements we have earned (By the way, congrats on the new baby on the way, Silent! ^_^).
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with your statement; I've forged many friendships with various people of the years in my ongoing MMO experiences, and even though I may not have seen the vast majority of them in real-life, they know that if they ever have a problem or just want to talk, they can always find me!
"Life is what you make of it; be your own God." b:victory
I do also have a lots of online “friends”, but they are DIFFERENT then my RL friends. since my definition of friendship is different than yours. I used to financially support a friend's whole family for more than 4 months when he gets in trouble, he did not pay me back even a penny until 2 years later, I actually was not even except he could ever pay me back. I also lend money to a friend to pay off all his credit cards because he lost all his saving and maxed his credit cards when he come back from a casino, all of people know it think I am crazy, but he has never walked into any casino since then, and pay all of the money I lend to him back to me in last than a year. Can you do it for a online friend?
I do not talk to my RL fiends every day like I do with my online friends. But I always know (they know it too), I have friends out there. I will not be alone in case I need help. Friendship is like marriage, they are lifelong commitment, you cannot call someone you meet in game few hours ago a friend from bottom of your heart.0 -
I don't get it, what's the point of this thread?
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aryannamage wrote: »Online friendships can be a double edged sword.
In my own case I trust my friends online and I believe they trust me too. But I also know the case of my sister who for good reason stays away from online friendships. It wasn't always like that with her. In another game she had great friends who helped her even through the death of our mother. A couple months later something happened in real life and she ended up in hospital for a week. When she came out, she left hospital against doctor advice, she found out her msn and game account were both ****. She managed to get in contact with her friends only to be told she is a liar and wanted to make drama. Her best online friend at the time wouldn't even listen to her and started spreading rumours about her. In the end my sister broke all contact with them. She stayed and made new friends only to be betrayed by them too over what had happened with her old friends. That is when she left the game for a while.
6 months later by accident I met her old best friend on another server and the two came in contact again. That woman thinking I was my sister, I let my sister play my account at times then, tried the same with me warning my friends off I mean. Didn't work I had warned my friends of what kind of person she was and they had met my sister already. To this day my sister when online doesn't party she solos and stays away from people through that one person. They both still play the same game and at times speak now. I believe now from observing the two that the woman believes my sister. Neither of them ever brought up what happened to each other and my sister lost her trust in people online. But this person is trying to win my sisters trust back inviting her to partys and offering her help where she can. They duo at times but everytime that woman asks my sister to party with a couple of her other friends my sister refuses. I can understand my sisters point can you?
Just be carefull in whom you put your trust.
I've ran into a number of similiar situations as well. I was involved in a car accident that left me temporarily paralized due to a sever swelling in my spinal chord caused by having dislocated several vertebrea in my neck and lower back from the car rolling 7 times through a field after I missed a turn. I was offline for close to a month before managing to make it back. After the swelling had gone down the doctor told me they wanted to fuse three vertebrea in my neck. I refused and not long after that checked out of the hospital and went home.
Told my "supposed friends" what had happened and they flat out called me a liar and started a bunch of drama about it in the group I hung with. It finally took me uploading pictures of me in the hospital, the wreck of my car, and a scan image from a local rag to stop the bull they had started. I lost a lot of trust in "online friends" then. I also told the entire group they could all collectively die and go to hell. Left and started my own group.
Some people live on Drama and BS. It's like air to them. If they can't stir the pot, they are miserable. Those kind of people find the online world to their liking because it's so easy to stir up stuff and find gullible people to listen and believe it.
And then there are the real, genuine people who make online friendships worth the time to try and develop. I have friends all over the world. Most I have never met. Most I would have never met were it not for the internet. To me they are not just some name in a chat program or game.
They are real and valued friends.
~Saitada0 -
aryannamage wrote: »Online friendships can be a double edged sword.
In my own case I trust my friends online and I believe they trust me too. But I also know the case of my sister who for good reason stays away from online friendships. It wasn't always like that with her. In another game she had great friends who helped her even through the death of our mother. A couple months later something happened in real life and she ended up in hospital for a week. When she came out, she left hospital against doctor advice, she found out her msn and game account were both ****. She managed to get in contact with her friends only to be told she is a liar and wanted to make drama. Her best online friend at the time wouldn't even listen to her and started spreading rumours about her. In the end my sister broke all contact with them. She stayed and made new friends only to be betrayed by them too over what had happened with her old friends. That is when she left the game for a while.
6 months later by accident I met her old best friend on another server and the two came in contact again. That woman thinking I was my sister, I let my sister play my account at times then, tried the same with me warning my friends off I mean. Didn't work I had warned my friends of what kind of person she was and they had met my sister already. To this day my sister when online doesn't party she solos and stays away from people through that one person. They both still play the same game and at times speak now. I believe now from observing the two that the woman believes my sister. Neither of them ever brought up what happened to each other and my sister lost her trust in people online. But this person is trying to win my sisters trust back inviting her to partys and offering her help where she can. They duo at times but everytime that woman asks my sister to party with a couple of her other friends my sister refuses. I can understand my sisters point can you?
Just be carefull in whom you put your trust.
When you are in a virtual world, it is difficult to know the real person behind the character. One of my relative used to play this game also, not too long ago, she get busy in RL and also decide to try a different game but was not reach the point to give up PWI, so she ask me to do the daily and WQ for her almost every day. When her friends whisper her, I just ask her who the person is (she always play in my office unless she is using her laptop in the bad), then pretend I am her and continue the conversation. Am I cheeping? Some of you may think I am. But I am playing a game, we are all just a characters in the game, the in game character is who we are dealing with, who is behind the character doesn’t make any difference. It is also the reason I will always keep in game relationship in game.0 -
Well, sir, I must say that you deserve very high commendations for your acts of charity in this usually dark world! ^_^ And even though I cannot say the same for myself, being 18-years old in a part-time university job and whatnot, I do take some solace in my own acts of charity in-game. And to your question, I answer yes, I can trust someone when I meet them, because that's just who I am. You can call me "naive" or "pushover", but every one of my friends finds that particular attribute quite heartwarming.
But yes, it is true; our definitions of friendship are quite different. I do believe that friendships can not only be forged online, but also in a short amount of time. That's how I've always been, both on and off PWI; making friends left and right, just because I'm funny, optimistic, and a bit hyper. But either way, as long as you have friends beside you, on and off the computer, happiness is always within your grasp.
Wishing everyone in this game all the best...
--Konari Raiden, humble Wizard of Heaven's Tear.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Yeah, it's me. Don't read to much into it, though; I'm only here for myself now, killin' time and chillin' when need-be. So sue me. Tch...0
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