Orinj vs. Father and Mother Goose

very random -

so i'm big on feeding animals. love animals to death. love communing with nature.

so check it -

my gf (at the time) wanted to go feed animals. she said it would brighten my spirits. my right ankle was fractured at the time and i was hobblefest all around the house on the crutches.

so at her insistence we took a trip to this placed miller knox. beautiful atmosphere with a man-made lake, ducks, geese, ground squirrels - you name it, the works.

so we get there armed with a couple of loaves of bread (which i found out is bad for feeding birds now ) and start feeding the ducks. i'm propped on my crutches feeding away and am really beginning to enjoy myself.

she's like, "see, isn't this nice?"
and i'm like, "yeah, this is really cool. thanks for bringing me out, babe."

so the animals that have gathered thus far are some mallard ducks, ground squirrels and canadian geese - oh so cools! but i look far in the distance and i see these two geese. while no zoologist, i can tell that the geeese aren't your standard, canadian black and browns. so i decided to crutch over.

oh before i go further - my gear that i'm wearing at the time -

bright yellow fleece sweater
jeans
and large boots to accomodate my cast
crutches

so i crutch over and i'm hella excited. they soo cooool. they're so magnificent and beautiful. so i make my way over there and then i notice something.... the white goose (male) begins lowering its head/neck. it then spreads its wings out and goes low. kinda like a plane if you can envision this. and then it begins to pick up speed.... i can literally feel its feet pounding on the ground as it's making its way towards me... kinda like them raptors in jurassic park... so i get my bread and start throwing some pieces at it. the goose doesn't stop and literally the chunks just bounce off his face and body.

clearly he aint interested.

and now not only can i feel his feet on the ground, i can hear him. "hisssssss" "hissssss" very much like a snake... and mind you, i am no zoologist but the animal in me knows the universal agro sound in the animal kingdom. ever meet an animal that was happy to see you and greeted you with a hiss?

anyhow...

the goose rushes me and begins biting away. i can feel the pressure its bite is exerting on my jeans and i am NOT comfortable with it... i turn around to tell my gf to run and she's half way to the parking lot yelling "run, baby, run!" while booking it to the car.
i'm like wth!?! i can't even run if i wanted! so i turn around and start crutching as fast as i can to my car. i'm panicking and nearly falling over when it hits me -

wait a minute... wait just a doggone minute....

we iz at the top of the food chain....

i am running from a bird....

i plant my crutches hard on the ground and do an about face. the bird furious pecks away at my pants and boots. and before i can think, i act. i plant my crutches and do an almost pendulum kick to the bird. i miss and graze its neck. it begins to go mega agro and start pecking away with speedhax. i do one more good plant, eyeball my target and give it a good, half-stadium field goal kick to its gut.

this stops it.

it looks at me with the "you can't hit me. i'm protected by peta" look. but i'm not thinking right. i rear back again and it knows better now. it backs off but continues to hiss with his head low. i tell it i'm sorry and throw it a piece of bread as a peace offering. this time it's responsive and eats. it continues to eat whatever i throw out but every now and then rears up to let me know that it doesn't like me, but it digs my bread.

but after that, we were cool.

i'd go back to the area and it would always approach me, but always to eat and not to bite.

sometime's i'd see some noobs there and i'd warn them. but every time they'd fail to heed my warning and would end up getting chased by the goose, which was great entertain to me.

but that's my story of how i made my peace with the dominant geese of miller knox.

oh, there were two geese. father and mother goose. father was the dude that was biting me and he was all pearly white with an orange beak. momma goose was brown, tan, and silver... yeah... so beautiful... but she never hissed at me or anything but seemed to just roll with the father goose.

even in the animal world, women like the jerks, LOL. jkjkjk

anyway~

- Big O