my dad

Paramedic - Dreamweaver

I live in very small town, with my sister and dad. We have farm, so there is lot work here. I don't have much people to talk with so I get lonely sometimes (and maybe that's why i decided to write this here).

I always considered my dad, as regular, straightforward guy. He always thought me, that only by hard work I can achieve anything. I didn't complain - even when he was giving me some hard 'life lessons'. I think he wanted to make me tough.

But three years ago our family got into some financial problems. We could lose farm, so my dad had to work in town, in factory. I know he hated it. He was getting pissed off by fact, that his foreman is "some 15 years younger kid who knows nothing'.
I know he was getting frustrated by it much. He told me that i need to take some part time job, to help family. It was hard for me because of school and work on farm, but I understood that I need to help somehow too. What was annoying at the time, was my younger sister. She always been daddy's doughter.. She always was getting what she want from him and then laugh at me, knowing how miserable i felt >.<

It got worse two years ago, when dad lost job in factory due to mass layoffs. He got very pissy and picked on me all the time. Of course my sister was always saint! He was venting all his anger and stress on me. He wanted to make me feel like nothing. He begin to constantly say that I am lazy and I work too less. He compared me to my older brother, who got good job in city and moved there. He says: "if he can do it, why you act like such loser and only complain" (yeah...).

He took more and more money from my pay. He never explained why he was doing that. He just took it without a word =/ I was trying to explain it to myself - that he is just too proud to ask for help. So i give him all my money, I work in farm and I learn in highschool and just try to deal with it somehow.
Sometimes, he let me take some cash from my own pay, and tells me to be grateful for it (gosh I want to hit him then). So I saved some money for few months and bought used bike. It is nothing amazing. It is old but was happy anyway. I could show my old man, that I can get what i want, even if he try to prove me that Im no good. But what he did recently totally pissed me off. He told my annoying sister, that she is getting car on her brithday! I think he did it just to make me feel like nothing.
I have enough of this place =/ Sometimes I think, that my older brother (who left home) wanted just to run away from my psycho-dad..

One person who keep me sane is my gf. She understand me - she don't have 'easy' family either. She uplift me and say, to just hang on to the end of highschool and then we can get away together. She says "Imagine how great it will be, to leave this all behind, forget about it and just move on'.


I just felt, that I need to share with somebody :P


/inb4 tl;dr - if you dont read then dont write
/inb4 cool story bro - dont call me bro, homo

chaoticshelly

Sometimes its good to simply write things off and let out some steam...

Moved to off topic, though.

Anthemyra - Archosaur

your gf is right ... have faith .. you are very lucky to have her.

Edyn - Dreamweaver

Sounds like you had a rough time there. Im very happy to read you have a gf to talk to and with whom you can share your thoughts and emotions.
Your dad probably is a person who suffered alot during his entire life. I dont think he means it bad when he says mean things to you, or takes away your own money. Ok I understand it must be damn frustrating to have a youngher sister who seems to be more appreciated or threated like a princess. But I think that has actually nothing to do with you cause your a boy. Your the oldest son and i think your dad probably sees you as the youngher version of himself. He seems te be rough on himself to, by the way I read he handels things. It not his choice, although everything we do in life is a choice that we make. We can always let our head hang down or try to work on a better future. Your dad took the second option. And maybe he got bitter, bittered by life itself. He dont want you to maybe make the mistakes he made and he probable wanna make sure you'll make it in life. Your sister will become a wife someday, and you'll become the familyman who has to take care for his family. Newer ideas changed this though in a way, but thinking in your situation your dad still thinks like this.

Many things you wont forget off what you say now, but they dont have to be all bad memory's. Remember: glass can be halffull or halfempty, just how you look at it changes

What made me smile, in a way I didnt in awhile, in your story was this: Even with all the though stuff you seem to go through at this point in your life you still appreciate the little amazing things. Like for exemple: The used bike. where I live kids get this when they are even to yough to drive with it. In a way thats wrong Why? cause they never learn to appreciate things. they take everything for granted. I came out of a wrong family myself to but now I look back and see that it all made me the person I am today, and I'm pleased to say I'm very happy and satisfied. You cant see the beauty and importance of things when you dont meet the bad sides of life either.
Dont give up. One day you'll be saying what I said above to a person who has the same problem as you right now. And one day you'll become a dad as well and you'll know how important it is to talk and teach your kids in the right way.

May your life turn around as fast as possible

LenieClarke - Heavens Tear

your gf might have the right idea --- finish up school, then see if the two of you can do what your brother did. sounds like you're already supporting your family and helping buy your sister a car; if you can do the same for yourself, you might get a good start.

_Perses_ - Lost City

Uhm......Yeah I don't feel like reading that so i'll just nob to what Edyn said since it's also a wall-o-text >.>........

Paramedic - Dreamweaver

did i mention it is allegory about pw management b:question


thx all for replying back, but shelly ruined it, when she moved it to offtopic </3


and additional thx for edyn for long reply - you must be wonderful person irl

Starchief - Sanctuary

Do what I do! Attempt to beat dad's ***. Get own *** beaten, laugh about fight over beer and SNL.