Finally finished my quest : One eyed Drin's Treasure

Comments

• reiwulf Member Posts: 2,687 Arc User

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  I was a bit disappointed with the first maps, because they were preset maps (although very well edited) but I loved the outside map (battlefront or something like that) unluckily I got disconnected and couldn't continue it, I'll give it another try later

  
  

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• melinden Member Posts: 619 Arc User

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  I played with my level 60 DC. Since your humor requires the NPC dialogue to work you really want to go through and make sure all your grammar is correct. You are having quite a bit of trouble with possessives and homophones. I found it very distracting.
  
  You will also want to look at putting ambient sound, sound effects, and music on your maps.
  
  Everything until the Lighthouse seemed to hold together logically but at that map the story becomes very disjointed. Maybe consider splitting it into two separate quests? You could then really riff on the Goonies spoof some more if you wished.
  
  
  Intro text:
  
  -the Walshwater is describes as “one of the finest inn’s in all of Neverwinter”. You will want to change that to “inns” and since the inn is at the Mere of Dead Men and not in the city, perhaps change that to “in all of the North”?
  Walshwater Inn:
  
  -the painting hanging in the Ogre’s room is still called “Painting 03”. It’s interactable but I didn’t see anything change or anything in my inventory when I interacted with it. It is also floating slightly away from the wall.
  -Spiky was in the Ogre’s room standing in the corner at the same time as he was unconscious upstairs.
  -the description text on the Mouldy Map needs an apostrophe to make “Drins” into “Drin’s”
  -when searching Malgarth it should be “Malgarth’s heaving gut”. Also “It’s belly is….” should be “Its belly is…”
  -After Malgarth wakes there is the line “You have something that resembles my armpit? that sounds like fun”. “That” needs to be capitalized.
  -the bed should be “Malgarth’s Pit” with an apostrophe since it belongs to him.
  -when speaking to Spiky after getting the key “supose” should be “suppose”. In the same dialogue I say “I suppose I should go and get Gob.” Who is Gob?
  -When Big Jock appears to fight the alert message should be “you’re going to have to…” instead of “your”
  
  Runedocks:
  
  -the objective should be “Get to Gob’s House” since he owns the house. Same with “Gobs Door” once I arrive
  
  -when talking to Coffin Finny “supersticious” should be “superstitious”
  
  -It was a little odd that the objective to find Lump came after finding Gob when I saw Lump before I saw Gob.
  -When describing the pie that Lump ate it should be “sister’s” instead of “sisters” since it the pie belonged to her.
  -When I tried to give the map back to Pat the dialogue says “Map put out his hand to take the map.” I think you mean that Pat took out his hand? In my response it should be “Pat’s face” not “Pats face” since it belongs to him.
  -in the description of Captain Perkins it should be “guard’s costume” instead of “guards costume”
  -in that dialogue I think what should have been my response was made into the Captain’s next dialogue box since otherwise it doesn’t make any sense.
  
  City Limits:
  
  -when the stableboy is explaining about the guards celebrating it should be “People are saying there’s some convicts…”
  -the round windows on the walls near the entry gate are floating away from the wall
  -at Captain Phallax it should be “It is Corporal Dean’s birthday…”
  
  Runedocks Sewers:
  
  -the sewers are nicely detailed.
  -in Neehu’s dialogue “you have saved my life traveller” the “You” should be capitalized
  
  The Lighthouse:
  
  -in the ghost’s first dialogue: “these items”, “These” should be capitalized
  -in the second dialogue: “thats trapped here” should be “that’s trapped here”
  
  Secret Cave:
  
  -The undead captain says “Drins wives” it should be “Drin’s”
  -the second to last undead captain says “there deaths” it should be “their deaths”
  
  
  Drins Cavern: Should be Drin’s Cavern
  
  -when speaking to Captain Drin in the last room my reply is “I think he’se broken” it should be “he’s”

  Find me in game with @DoctorBadger
  (Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ

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• russe2623 Member Posts: 25 Arc User

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  wow, that's some great feedback, thankyou Melinden.
  
  Reiwulf, it was my first map and only figured how to build buildings until later maps so I might revisit the beginning at some point and re do it, thanks for the feedback too.

  The Legend of One-eyed Drin : NWS-DTS5YGGAQ

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• russe2623 Member Posts: 25 Arc User

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  I took all this on board and went through all the dialog. I've improved my possessives knowledge, it's a lot clearer now.
  
  I've fixed everything in the list and a lot more I came across in the process.
  
  The Walshwater Inn was a pre made inn so boasting it being the finest inn in the North was debatable. I've hand built it so I can happily say it is now the finest inn in the north. (maybe) If you want to have another look Reiwulf I'd appreciate feedback.
  
  The dialog made assumptions as to the players knowledge so I've redone a bit of the dialog completely to make it less confusing.
  
  And I've added dynamic music. I rarely play games with the music on but since adding it realise it adds a great deal of depth, especially boss encounters and area changes.
  
  I've also split it into two parts, so it's now a Campaign. I've renamed it to The Legend of One-eyed Drin and I'll post a seperate post later once I've got some screenshots.
  
  Thanks to both of you and thanks melinden for being very thorough! It really needed a critical eye and I think it's improved a lot because of your comments.

  The Legend of One-eyed Drin : NWS-DTS5YGGAQ

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