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For your review please!

azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
edited June 2013 in The Foundry
I just published my first foundry quest and though i think it's pretty hard and fully ment for groups of 3+ i would like to get some feedback on it so it can be improved. I also styled it on the backstory of my own control wizard character and will do another with the backstory of my trickster rogue (once extra planer travel is allowed or true manifestions of such creaters are allowed hehe). But please take the time read the little bits of story i've included and tell me what you think and how i can improve it. I hope this first effort will prove to be both a challenge and enjoyable to you all!!

quest name

"Justice knows no bounds"
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    I will take a look, but searching for "Justice knows no bounds" yields 0 results. Same with searching your name "azurie1". Could you post the quests short code please.
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    hmm let me look and see if i can find it i know i have it around here somewhere.

    short straw nope that's not it. short stick nope that's not it either. short on funds nope that's trash *blushes* ahh there it is!! nw-dcgd2zxoc that should be good enough to find it now, i hope. =)

    short code is ^
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    oh i can think of 1 think i'll get hand slapped over right off the bat. the npcs in the first map where you actually get the quest haven't been renamed at least not yet anyways so that's a comming soon feature lol
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    I will take a look at your quest after tea :)
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    it's much better if done while sipping southern sweet iced tea :P LOL
  • notauriousnotaurious Member Posts: 156 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    Get the short code and I will check it out for you!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Short Code Copy/Paste: NW-DJC4R9H3R
  • notauriousnotaurious Member Posts: 156 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    Checking if my signature works.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Short Code Copy/Paste: NW-DJC4R9H3R
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    I just published my first foundry quest and though i think it's pretty hard and fully ment for groups of 3+ i would like to get some feedback on it so it can be improved. I also styled it on the backstory of my own control wizard character and will do another with the backstory of my trickster rogue (once extra planer travel is allowed or true manifestions of such creaters are allowed hehe). But please take the time read the little bits of story i've included and tell me what you think and how i can improve it. I hope this first effort will prove to be both a challenge and enjoyable to you all!!

    quest name

    "Justice knows no bounds"

    short code is up there ^
  • zelrantzelrant Member Posts: 27 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Hey, let's trade reviews. I just published my first foundry quest and I really need some feedback too. =)
    I'll do your quest in a while.

    Here's mine:

    NW-DFJR2DOH6 - The Epic: Secrets of Shiganshina
    Recommended Players: 1
    Est. Playtime: 10-20mins (depending on the choice you'll make at one point)
    Features:
    -Lots of dialogue, good amount of story.
    -Cameo appearances of characters from different games, and anime. (I won't spoil them, check my quest to find out! :D)
    -A variety of things to do (Dueling with NPC, object interaction, item collection, optional routes and boss)

    Thanks in advance!
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    ok i've published and i've even submitted to cryptic what the devil do i need to do to get that bloody quest to show up? from what i can tell it should list but i can't even find it when i go into the game and if anyone could it should be me
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    I have just played your Quest azurie1, i rated it 4/5 and left a short in game note.

    You have started a nice story line, i liked the character dialog and hope we will see more in the next quest.

    Combat was very tough! (i did it solo)

    Few minor things

    1. You have a table and chairs in front of the entrance to the dragon's inn main room, so you have to jump over it :P
    2. Phase spider stuck inside a wall within the mercenary compound.
    3. Re-name the chair you use to plant the flag in, its currently its default ugly name (i said they were small things :P)
    4. Your exit portal! There is no indication that it is an exit portal, so its very easy to investigate see what it is. Only to find yourself kicked from the quest.

    As you see very minor complaints :P Look forward to seeing your next quest.

    Maybe you would like to review mine so time?

    Campaign: Resurrection of Xunvrae (4 parts)
    Quest Name: The bones of Xunvrae
    Author: Elimgarak83
    Short Code: NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    Tags: Story, Explore, Combat
    Tested: 14 GWF, 60 CW, 60 DC, 29 CW
    Quest forum post: http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?235592-Resurrection-of-Xunvrae

    Campaign
    House Arken'etts' has a long history of producing the finest wizards throughout the Underdark. Since the spellplague ravaged

    the planes, house Arken'etts' power has been vastly diminished.

    Sin'Afay Arken'ett has enlisted your help in restoring the once proud house to its former glory.

    Treachery and torment will be your companions during this campaign, taking you from the darkest crypt's deep enough Torils' surface

    to planes of nightmare and legend.

    Part 1: The bones of Xunvrae
    Part 2: Xunvraes' Resurrection
    Part 3: Shadow stalkers
    Part 4: Xunvrae Must Die

    Part 1 - The bones of Xunvrae
    Xunvrae, once the most accomplished wizard in house Arken'ett disappeared over 100 years ago. If house Arken'ett is to be

    restored to its former glory, then the archmage must returned to his rightful place.

    Venture into an ancient Netherese crypt and discover what became of Xunvrae.
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    ty for that looks like to make it a pure group content type i need to up that diff a little muahaha :P and i'm glad you like the story i spent quite a bit of time making that one up specially since it's from the backstory of one of my own characters so that makes it a bit of shall we say special to me hehe ;)

    EDIT:

    just a little note i've been cut and pasting the story codes here so that i can look at them once i get in game =) and again ty so much for the feedback it's much appreciated
  • voivodakvoivodak Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 147 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    you can try and test my quest if you want :) All infos are in my sign. Thanks in advance!!
    My Campaign and Quest :

    Campaign - In The Streams of Inferno
    Act I : The Fear That Freeze - nw-dnuzsyeey
    Act II : Demons Never Sleep - nw-dbj2us96n
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    just updated my quest so feel free to give it a shot update notes included in the foundry list info =)

    i know you were able to find it zekrallmizzrym but yanno i still can't find that bloody quest to see how it looks in the foundry in game lol. will it not let me it's creator look at it or something? they afraid i might cheat on it or something lol (as if that was even possible lol)

    EDIT:

    yanno if they would let us at the end instead of the npc culprit just poofing and escaping on people i would have it trigger a boss type mob spawn and let people fight that before finishing out that map. however sadly they haven't given us that ability they want to keep that one all to themselves heh
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    ty for that looks like to make it a pure group content type i need to up that diff a little muahaha :P and i'm glad you like the story i spent quite a bit of time making that one up specially since it's from the backstory of one of my own characters so that makes it a bit of shall we say special to me hehe ;)

    EDIT:

    just a little note I've been cut and pasting the story codes here so that i can look at them once i get in game =) and again ty so much for the feedback it's much appreciated

    It is very hard to balance for a group, be careful adding more mobs into your compound room. Fighting all 4 hexers was hard mainly due to most of the floor being covered with aoe shooting people up into the air :P Was rather fun landing on all the spiders xD
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    just updated my quest so feel free to give it a shot update notes included in the foundry list info =)

    i know you were able to find it zekrallmizzrym but yanno i still can't find that bloody quest to see how it looks in the foundry in game lol. will it not let me it's creator look at it or something? they afraid i might cheat on it or something lol (as if that was even possible lol)

    EDIT:

    yanno if they would let us at the end instead of the npc culprit just poofing and escaping on people i would have it trigger a boss type mob spawn and let people fight that before finishing out that map. however sadly they haven't given us that ability they want to keep that one all to themselves heh

    I could only find your quest via the short code, i think that's just cause it needs more reviews.
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    I have just tried playing through it again, better. But the last room! Might be a little impossible, it is a tight corridor you have to fight in or aggro who knows how many encounters! Which isnt a problem, other than the mob types.

    Spiders fill corridor with aoe slow, the 4+ witches blast purple goo down the tight corridor which is unavoidable due to the space, so you locked from using spells for a long long time. Haxers filling corridor with flames throwing you around.

    I like that you have mixed up the mobs, but think for a small confined space there might be to many aoe encounters which block abilites.
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    i'll do a little mob renovation and see if that will improve things hehe ty for that info though when i run through it i'm in godmode or untargetable so it's never a problem for me since i'm really there to test other things such as any mobs in walls interactions ect . . . oh btw any idea how i might could get my encounter mobs to not aggro the npc at the end? i had a couple of the exsisting groups in her room but they kept on attacking her and i really don't think they need to attack their leader lol (unless of course they are unhappy with her lol)
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    Lock your NPC away in an invisible cage (walls/cube), then have the walls / cube vanish when point X / encounter Y is reached / defeated.
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    ah i'll give that a shot now just to figure out how to put in an invisible wall lol can ya tell i'm new to all this? i hope it doesn't show tooooooo much lol
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    last map has been expanded and mobs spread out a bit only added a couple to that new addition just made it easier to walk in then die where you stand LOL :P
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    last map has been expanded and mobs spread out a bit only added a couple to that new addition just made it easier to walk in then die where you stand LOL :P

    I shall gather anther 60 potions and brave your quest :D It is an enjoyable one btw.
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    i'm glad you like it i've finished the 2nd part just haven't published it yet because i want this one to be reviewed more by both the foundry community and the player populace hehe oh btw what level and class are you runnin through the quest solo with?
  • zekrallmizzrymzekrallmizzrym Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 101 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    i'm glad you like it i've finished the 2nd part just haven't published it yet because i want this one to be reviewed more by both the foundry community and the player populace hehe oh btw what level and class are you runnin through the quest solo with?

    Completed with 60 CW and a 18 GWF (was much harder on the low level GWF)
    Resurrection of Xunvrae - NWS-DNNZST5FJ
    House Arken'etts' power is shattered, to restore this once proud house Xunvrae must return.
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    kewl with the more recent changes it should be a little bit easier to finish or then again it might not be lol just let me know if anything stands out that makes it unplayable (had someone mention one of the teleporters was in a wall so things like that hehe)
  • slaidzslaidz Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 181 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    I'll run through yours.
  • drakesigardrakesigar Member Posts: 231 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    I plan to go about doing almost nothing but reviewing when I hit the level cap.
    Check out Adventuring College! A 20 minute male-centric comedic solo adventure.
    Quest ID: NW-DPCZNUVQ7
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    just a note for you all i've designed this series initially as a group quest and i am working to keep it that way and it's not set as an easy run either i mean for it to be hard and require team work so any suggestions/ideas to help it take that shape please share it's when i get to the quest series related to my rogue that it'll be soloish just not an easy solo and that one will take TONS of help to make it balanced as it scales upwards
  • azurie1azurie1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9
    edited May 2013
    for those interested i've finished the solo quest attached to my rogue character's backstory named With relatives like these. . . NW-DD73HF8R7 part of the Family Ties campaign
  • tarrockatarrocka Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited June 2013
    azurie1 wrote: »
    for those interested i've finished the solo quest attached to my rogue character's backstory named With relatives like these. . . NW-DD73HF8R7 part of the Family Ties campaign

    Played with 40th Level Devoted Cleric and Rank 15 Man-at-Arms.

    Overall Opinion:
    Good combat centric adventure with some challenges and interesting storyline. Used four (4) healing potions and one portable alter during the quest.

    - - - - -

    Improvements that would make the adventure better ...

    1) The environments are relatively sparse with decorations and dense with encounters; consider reducing the frequency of encounters as misplaced Area of Effect (AoE) attacks have the potential of targeting multiple groups and thus increasing the combat difficulty. More thematic decorations could provide character to the environments which would draw the player deeper into storyline.

    2) It appeared that the encounters were just 'placed' from the Foundry as most (within the Lair) were facing North and remained in tight groups of three or four. Repositioning the individual creatures within an encounter group can significantly change the pacing of the combat; mingle them within another encounter group and the combat difficulty increases, spread them slightly apart and a single AoE attack cannot eliminate them at once, space them further apart and the combat difficulty decreases, etc.

    3) Recheck the dialogues for spelling and grammatical errors; some that I noticed were the occasional lowercase 'i' instead of 'I' and 'her' instead of 'here' during the climatic battle within the Lair. Furthermore, consider using paragraph breaks on some of the longer dialogues to make them easier to read. One particularly awkward sentence was the one where the male boss demon was explaining why her blood is corrupted; sometimes it helps to read the dialogue out loud and, if it is difficult to say, it should probably be reworded.

    4) Depending on the intended style of the adventure, interactive objects can be quite useful or meaningless. Having just the one (i.e. the battle axe / which was difficult to find a position where my character could interact with it), I couldn't tell which adventure style for which you were aiming. The lore about the axe seemed to have little impact on this chapter of the campaign; this was similar to the dialogue from the merchant and grandmother in the sewers -- yes, they added flavor to the adventure but little else. From the storyline point of view, one question you should frequently ask is 'Why?' ... if you cannot give a definite reason, perhaps the story/adventure would be better without it.

    5) The "Approach" design -- first, there was no respawn point in this region which meant that, if you happened to perish, you couldn't easily continue the adventure; and second, it was possible to descend into the empty ravines (luckily you could eventually find your way back out). Rework the map using ruins, boulders, invisible walls, etc. to prevent the player from walking into regions devoid of content.

    6) The "Lair" design -- some decorations in the two boss chambers were floating above the floor (not sure if this was due to your design or the recent Foundry patch). Foundry quests are essentially linear; however, that doesn't mean they cannot be exciting. Unfortunately, the current Lair design allows the player to ignore the quest marker and reach the female demon earlier than intended. While there are multiple solutions to this problem, you could 'divide' the lair into three separate segments ... first, the journey/flight to the male demon with the battles slowly increasing in difficulty until a semi-climatic battle in the boss chamber before speaking with the demon; second, a journey/fight back toward the entrance/exit after the male demon calls his minions to ensure you don't escape alive which ends up with the climatic battle in the original chamber; and third, the female demon impressed with your prowess appears after the battle to resolve this chapter's storyline and provide your reward.

    7) The overall design -- demons, demons and more demons; while they are appropriate for the storyline, the limited selection of encounters made the various battles very repetitive. Methods of bring more diversity into the battles would be to have bandits/cultists in the "Approach" opening a portal to the "Lair" from which some demons have escaped and to use the costume feature in the Foundry to disguise other encounters as demons.

    8) Final thoughts -- Decide what is the primary focus of your adventure; story or combat. At the moment, it appears combat centric as numerous battles within the "Approach" and "Lair" have little impact on the overall story -- while the story elements are intriguing, they are primarily at the beginning and end and not (as they should be) scattered through the adventure. Use the Cryptic campaign as a guideline for the pace between combat and story -- while we cannot do everything they have, the Foundry will allow us to tell fantastic stories should we take the time to perfect them.
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