test content
What is the Arc Client?
Install Arc

Boom! Laser Eyes!

underchickenunderchicken Posts: 259 Arc User
LoL, so my friends and I were having an intellectual conversation about how Superman would go about dealing with both Batman and Lex Luthor if they have Kryptonite at their desposal(which obviously they will.) From this conversation sprung a little meme that I believe fits this setting pretty well, so I decided to share it with you guys.:biggrin:

Superman: Who are you?
Batman: I'm Batman!
Superman: What's that green rock your holding?
Batman: This part of your home planet, I've named it Kryptonite.
Superman: What do you plan on doing with it?
Batman: According to my research this will drain you of all your powers, rendering you completely vulnerable.
Superman: Oh, I see...

Superman: LASER EYE'S!!!

Batman: :eek:


This topic has sense brought us much amusement. So here's a little taste to start things off!

You want me to smile? I don't care I'm not going to smile. Why are you waving that ridiculously hilarious stuffed giraffe around!?! NO! You... won't... make... me... smile! LASER EYES!!!
4496512637_1cf8bd1862.jpg
Post edited by underchicken on

Comments

  • fudgemonstafudgemonsta Posts: 1,591 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Meh.

    Feels like forced memes.

    Better then ponies I guess. Pew pew, lasers are fun.
    @HangingDeath

    Deliciously nutritious!
  • cybersoldier1981cybersoldier1981 Posts: 2,501 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Superman's greatest weakness is anyone whose tactics go beyond the reach of a haymaker. He's the only superhero whose greatest enemy became one of the most powerful men on the planet. He's also got an entire several decades of comics that are just him being a complete douchebag to Lois, Jimmy, his Parents, and his Dog.

    Superman couldn't deal with Batman and Lex Luthor if they teamed up. Why? Neither one of them are stupid enough to base a Kryptonite strategy on 'walk toward the demigod with rock'. Kryptonite bullets, or Kryptonite-edged Batarangs would be the least stupid way they would go about it. Rest assured that if two or even one of these masterminds got together to do this, Superman would never see it coming.
  • ariesmajorariesmajor Posts: 394 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    LoL, so my friends and I were having an intellectual conversation about how Superman would go about dealing with both Batman and Lex Luthor if they have Kryptonite at their desposal(which obviously they will.) From this conversation sprung a little meme that I believe fits this setting pretty well, so I decided to share it with you guys.:biggrin:

    Superman: Who are you?
    Batman: I'm Batman!
    Superman: What's that green rock your holding?
    Batman: This part of your home planet, I've named it Kryptonite.
    Superman: What do you plan on doing with it?
    Batman: According to my research this will drain you of all your powers, rendering you completely vulnerable.
    Superman: Oh, I see...

    Superman: LASER EYE'S!!!

    Batman: :eek:


    This topic has sense brought us much amusement. So here's a little taste to start things off!

    You want me to smile? I don't care I'm not going to smile. Why are you waving that ridiculously hilarious stuffed giraffe around!?! NO! You... won't... make... me... smile! LASER EYES!!!
    4496512637_1cf8bd1862.jpg

    Or you could be a 7 year old with a super soaker and liquid kryptonite. Approach clark kent in his usual "can I get your autograph superman?" banter that happens whenever he lands. Have all the kids yell surprise and happy birthday, even though it isn't even his birthday, but in order to get all the kids to go along with the water guns, you have to tell them that. They spray him with the liquid kryptonite which is only a few shades of green, they jump up and down all excited and happy to greet superman with his happy birthday wishes. Superman goes down, kids start crying. Move all of the children out of the way in your mock "medical superman emergency response team" Tell the children it will be alright. Put him in the back of your hospital van since he will be weakened and unable to struggle much. Inject him with kryptonite fluids. Dead superman.

    And it only cost you a hospital van, some EMT costumes, and some super soakers.
  • cgta1967cgta1967 Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    pffft....superman is hosed anyway....there arent any phonebooths anymore.....


    .
    _______________________
    ---- FIRE EVERYTHING ! ----
  • chaelkchaelk Posts: 7,732 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    n o problem, plenty of strippers :biggrin:
    Stuffing up Freeform builds since Mid 2011
    4e1f62c7-8ea7-4996-8f22-bae41fea063b_zpsu7p3urv1.jpg

    Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
  • meedacthunistmeedacthunist Posts: 2,961 Arc User1
    edited August 2013
    It was in War of Supermen when Superman used his thermal vision to destroy kryptonite knife held by Zod's lackey. Finally someone noticed that he can indeed deal with it from distance.

    On the other hand, he was once shoot with a Kryptonite bullet.
  • finalslapsfinalslaps Posts: 198 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Are you saying Superman with all his super speed can't dodge bullets? The shame.
  • cybersoldier1981cybersoldier1981 Posts: 2,501 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    finalslaps wrote: »
    Are you saying Superman with all his super speed can't dodge bullets? The shame.

    You can't dodge what you can't see. You don't have to walk up on the guy and point blank shoot him. A sniper shot from a distance (and don't say he'd hear the bullet, because the round travels faster than the speed of sound. He'd hear the gunshot after he was hit).

    This wouldn't be a thing if it... hadn't happened more than once.
  • forrksakesexcoforrksakesexco Posts: 435 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Super Breath maybe...
    Baddy: Ha I've got you now Stuporman here is my kryptonite knife
    Superman: Blowing noises
    FX: Clunk
    Baddy: Oh sh*t my hand fell off
    _____________
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The one who can't shut up formerly known as 4rksakes
    About the @handle - it's a long story.
    Profound quote.. "I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing."
  • savagedeaconsavagedeacon Posts: 219 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Superman is way smarter than many think that he is : juste read "Emperor Joker"

    http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Superman:_Emperor_Joker
    Batman and Luthor are in it too and they didn't fare that well (In fact you could say that Batman was the"damsell in distress" there ):tongue:
    Now when Luthor and Batman,using nothing else than their brain will beat someone that has godlike powers, then you could compare them to Superman, maybe
    :tongue: :biggrin:
    note the synopsis of chapter 9 is incorect it should read :

    Superman sees a little Batman hanging on a cross like a pendant to the joker neck begging him to kill the joker and realize what the joker weakness is. He then taunt him telling him that, no matter what, he, the Joker needs the Batman.
    When the Joker too realize that with all his power he cannot erase Batman from his mind he breaks
    down and , no , he doesn't knell down in defeat before Superman and Batman like, erroneously, it is said in that sinopsy
  • underchickenunderchicken Posts: 259 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    OH NUUUU! Everyone is taking this way to seriously and not having any fun!! LASER EYES!!!

    LASEREYESKITTY.jpg
  • scorpagorscorpagor Posts: 607 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    128499d1175416032-im-your-garage-kill-superman.jpg
  • jonsillsjonsills Posts: 6,314 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    It's well known to JLA fans that Bats has plans to deal with every other member of the League if they ever go rogue. I don't know that the comics ever detailed them, but there was an animated movie, "Doom", in which Vandal Savage managed to access the Batputer and download those plans - to which he made certain lethal adjustments.

    For Supes, the technique involved hiring a stuntman to stand on a ledge at the Daily Planet building and threaten to jump. Supes, being Supes, flew up to try to talk him down - giving the sniper a half-block away plenty of time to aim the kryptonite bullet right at him... (IIRC, it wasn't a headshot only because Clark heard the bullet coming at him and ducked. It hit him in the chest instead.)

    Fortunately, Bruce was also prepared to perform surgery on a Kryptonian, because his plans didn't involve killing anyone.
    "Science teaches us to expect -- demand -- more than just eerie mysteries. What use is a puzzle that can't be solved? Patience is fine, but I'm not going to stop asking the universe to make sense!"

    - David Brin, "Those Eyes"
    Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
  • jorifice1jorifice1 Posts: 588 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    89502_zps2af53a74.jpg

    Oh wait, you said Lazar EYES!
    I Completely misread that..................................

    'Wen considered the nature of time and understood that the universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. Therefore, he understood, there is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, he said, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.' Terry Pratchet The Thief Of Time
  • helbjornhelbjorn Posts: 678 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    I've never understood the "Kryptonite bullet can kill Superman" thing. A bullet made of Kryptonite is no harder than any other stone or crystal, giving it less penetrating power than a metal round. The bullet is traveling at > 2500 ft./sec, not nearly enough time to weaken Superman to the point that the bullet could penetrate his skin.

    A pre-weakened Superman I could see being injured or killed by a Kryptonite bullet, but out of the blue at full strength? No way. Even Lex in the Superman Returns movie didn't stick his Kryptonite shiv in Supes' flank until he was already weakened to the point he was sweating.
  • cgta1967cgta1967 Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Imma git yoo sooper man !!!!

    laser_beam_eyes.jpg
    _______________________
    ---- FIRE EVERYTHING ! ----
  • kittyanonkittyanon Posts: 80 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    Superman's greatest weakness is anyone whose tactics go beyond the reach of a haymaker. He's the only superhero whose greatest enemy became one of the most powerful men on the planet. He's also got an entire several decades of comics that are just him being a complete douchebag to Lois, Jimmy, his Parents, and his Dog.

    Superman couldn't deal with Batman and Lex Luthor if they teamed up. Why? Neither one of them are stupid enough to base a Kryptonite strategy on 'walk toward the demigod with rock'. Kryptonite bullets, or Kryptonite-edged Batarangs would be the least stupid way they would go about it. Rest assured that if two or even one of these masterminds got together to do this, Superman would never see it coming.

    We all know he's got the hots for Wonder Woman. Convince her to buy him a drink and spike it with Kryptonite roofies.
    =^..^= ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ =^..^=
    Formerly known as kittyclawz.

    In-game handle: @Miss.Kittyclawz
  • finalslapsfinalslaps Posts: 198 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    You can't dodge what you can't see. You don't have to walk up on the guy and point blank shoot him. A sniper shot from a distance (and don't say he'd hear the bullet, because the round travels faster than the speed of sound. He'd hear the gunshot after he was hit).

    This wouldn't be a thing if it... hadn't happened more than once.

    Superman also has long distance vision, x-ray vision and is known to have reflexes and perception faster than the speed of thought.
  • gingervitosgingervitos Posts: 275 Arc User
    edited August 2013
    LoL, so my friends and I were having an intellectual conversation about how Superman would go about dealing with both Batman and Lex Luthor if they have Kryptonite at their desposal(which obviously they will.) From this conversation sprung a little meme that I believe fits this setting pretty well, so I decided to share it with you guys.:biggrin:

    Superman: Who are you?
    Batman: I'm Batman!
    Superman: What's that green rock your holding?
    Batman: This part of your home planet, I've named it Kryptonite.
    Superman: What do you plan on doing with it?
    Batman: According to my research this will drain you of all your powers, rendering you completely vulnerable.
    Superman: Oh, I see...

    Superman: LASER EYE'S!!!

    Batman: :eek:


    This topic has sense brought us much amusement. So here's a little taste to start things off!

    You want me to smile? I don't care I'm not going to smile. Why are you waving that ridiculously hilarious stuffed giraffe around!?! NO! You... won't... make... me... smile! LASER EYES!!!
    4496512637_1cf8bd1862.jpg

    I seen some really insane **** in my lifetime but that .....yeah.

    Git Gud M8!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Cause I'm worth it. Playing since 2009.
Sign In or Register to comment.