101 (legal) things to do to the DDos dimwit, when they are located

chaelk · January 2016

ok I'm stretching the limit of legal.Let's see what people can come up with.
1. Mail him a truckload of fresh pig manure, collect to be left at and over his front door.
2.Get his name and start sending love letters and then stalking letters to Justin beiber.
3. amend his accounts so that his passwords are a random OTHER account's and , if he doesn't guess right, his account gets locked for a day.
4. alternatively, amend his password to a random one each minute
5. In game, when he tries to pick up treasure or trade with someone, he has to put in his password. See 3.
6.wipe all his accounts, when he tries to log onto them.
7.class action case against him and his family, on behalf of all the players who haven't been able to play.
8.DDOS his local access, so he can't get access.
9. wishful thinking: put a reverse on the incoming traffic once it hits a certain point over the normal amount, so they bounce back.
10. 10. Laugh at them for being virgins and crying over their Neverfun exploits being nerfed, then see they are fat and live in a trailer/social housing and laugh some more. After that more laughing.
11. Laugh at the Loser unable to play a game without his 'cheat codes'
12. 'accidently' spill coffee all over his equipment.
13. Nepht being really nasty:Look just send her/him to Eastern Europe. Shev's town to be exact. He/she wont be able to ddos any of Cryptic's games as Shev has uninstalled all of them from every computer.
14.Put a dead fish into every pillow, mattress, and sofa cushion in his house.
15. Put live bugs in every pillow, matt.... just put a whole colony of them in there.
16. Strap them down to a chair and force them to watch U.S. Politics all day and all night!
17. 16 + have 30 something on another screen next to them.
18. force the git to watch every episode of Earth Final Conflict. Followed up with a private constantly repeating screening of Battlefield Earth.
19. The next time he has to go to the DMV, when he's just about to get to the front of the line, have about 100 people show up who just keep cutting into the line ahead of him ( and they also grab anyone who would be behind him in line and have them cut ahead as well ). After 5 hours of this when he finally gets to the counter, have the person at the counter say "Denial of service" and then just walk away as the DMV closes for the day.
20. Or just stop his food stamps.
21. swap his food stamps for used ones. except for a few which can only be used for broccoli
22. Force him to subscribe to The Fine Bros.
23. Make him watch Smallville episodes back to back.
24. Swap all his music recordings for the theme from the original donkey kong and super marios Bros.
25. hen he goes to sleep, gather a full-size High-School Marching Band and have them practice in his room.
26. Make him watch the D& D movie on his computer, everytime he tries and fails to connect to the internet.
27. force him to read Sonic fan fiction
28. Make him watch teletubbies in slow motion.
29. Make him watch any anime with long " I'm getting ready to attack" scenes in slow motion.
30. Force him to play Daikatana.
31. I would tell his mother he's being a naughty boy.
32. Find out his commute and hire old people to drive really slowly infront of him.
33. Play some white noise in his sleep.
34. Oh, oh! And Repossess everything he owns!
35. Put a sign outside his house" Honk if you like hackers. Scream if you don't."
36. CALL HIS DAD AND TELL HIM THAT THE GUY WATCHES ANIME.
37. Call his dad and tell him, he's watching his little sister's anime.
38. make him eat Nepht's old nuts... which are in a jar.
39. This one may be excessively cruel but: if he logs into CO you could trap him in his own personal instance full of Gingers and Caligas. Fling in a few Xenos for a good measure.
40.
101. everything on the list.

Unknown · January 2016

This content has been removed.

deadman20 · January 2016

I'm going to go with just outright deleting his account/info. Poof, gone, like magic. That would set them back economically since their items and in-game moneys will just go poof, correct?

Banning and Suspension? Nah, that's just temporary anyway. Setting them back is a much bigger punishment than locking them out, and I'm all for drastic measures.

championshewolf · January 2016

deadman20 wrote: »

I'm going to go with just outright deleting his account/info. Poof, gone, like magic. That would set them back economically since their items and in-game moneys will just go poof, correct?

Banning and Suspension? Nah, that's just temporary anyway. Setting them back is a much bigger punishment than locking them out, and I'm all for drastic measures.

I doubt that would even justify the amount of money Cryptic is probably spending in overtime hours while they try to fix this issue, not to mention potential lost revenue while the servers are forced to restart or people too busy hurling insults and thinking Cryptic is not doing anything. *shrugs*

brasston2501 · January 2016

chaelk said:

7.class action case against him and his family, on behalf of all the players who haven't been able to play.

Another friend of mine suggested this tonight too. I'm onboard for this.

squirrelloid · January 2016

8. DDoS his local server so he can't access the internet to run his botnet. Oh wait, you said legal... I suppose that rules out tactical missile strike on his residence too, unless being a script kiddie got promoted to 'terrorism' while i wasn't watching.

nepht · January 2016

Laugh at them for being virgins and crying over their Neverfun exploits being nerfed, then see they are fat and live in a trailer/social housing and laugh some more. After that more laughing.

vinxbr · January 2016

Why set his house on fire with him locked inside it is not on the list?... oh, the Legal thing, got it...

chaelk · January 2016

to give you an idea, the How many ways to kill wes crusher at a Swancon, got to over 300.
mine was long and detailed. Starting with supergluing a grenade into a certain part of his anatomy and it went downhill form there.

deadman20 · January 2016

"Spill" coffee all over his equipment.

nepht · January 2016

Look just send her/him to Eastern Europe. Shev's town to be exact. He/she wont be able to ddos any of Cryptic's games as Shev has uninstalled all of them from every computer.

xile · January 2016

if it was a Ddos attack, it would have been down already dont you think? several times. probably just server overloads with new players joining or somthing. buncha paras

spinnytop · February 2016

Put a dead fish into every pillow, mattress, and sofa cushion in his house.

deadman20 · February 2016

Strap them down to a chair and force them to watch U.S. Politics all day and all night!

legendarylycan · February 2016

Thirtysomething is far worse than US Politics could ever hope to be - just ask al bundy

nepht · February 2016

shadowfang240 said:
Thirtysomething is far worse than US Politics could ever hope to be - just ask al bundy

Screw Thirtysomething thats not mean enough we should force the git to watch every episode of Earth Final Conflict.
Followed up with a private constantly repeating screening of Battlefield Earth.

We might need some equipment. Luckily I have a dungeon.

deadman20 · February 2016

nepht wrote: »

Thirtysomething is far worse than US Politics could ever hope to be - just ask al bundy

Screw Thirtysomething thats not mean enough we should force the git to watch every episode of Earth Final Conflict.
Followed up with a private constantly repeating screening of Battlefield Earth.

We might need some equipment. Luckily I have a dungeon.

spinnytop · February 2016

The next time he has to go to the DMV, when he's just about to get to the front of the line, have about 100 people show up who just keep cutting into the line ahead of him ( and they also grab anyone who would be behind him in line and have them cut ahead as well ). After 5 hours of this when he finally gets to the counter, have the person at the counter say "Denial of service" and then just walk away as the DMV closes for the day.

nepht · February 2016

Or just stop his food stamps.

chaelk · February 2016

updated. there goes my 10 mins of play time this morning

nepht · February 2016

Force him to subscribe to The Fine Bros.

themightyzenith · February 2016

Make him watch Smallville episodes back to back.

deadman20 · February 2016

When he goes to sleep, gather a full-size High-School Marching Band and have them practice in his room.

Alternatively:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZvWvfCSZ8M

chaelk · February 2016

Make him watch the D& D movie on his computer, everytime he tries and fails to connect to the internet.

nepht · February 2016

chaelk said:
Make him watch the D& D movie on his computer, everytime he tries and fails to connect to the internet.

Even I think that ones cold blooded....but that said I am a Champions PnP player so I would think that

I think you should force him to read Sonic fan fiction.

spinnytop · February 2016

Hey I liked that movie...

Make him watch Teletubbies... In slow motion.

deadman20 · February 2016

Oh, we forgot to do this:

Everything on the list.

legendarylycan · February 2016

we'll leave that one for spot 101 - once we've populated the rest of the list

nepht · February 2016

Force him to play Daikatana.

beezeeze · February 2016

I'm pretty sure a few things on this list are definitely not legal.

I would tell his mother he's being a naughty boy.

OR

Find out his commute and hire old people to drive really slowly infront of him.

chaelk · February 2016

beezeeze wrote: »

I'm pretty sure a few things on this list are definitely not legal.

I would tell his mother he's being a naughty boy.

OR

Find out his commute and hire old people to drive really slowly infront of him.

please read the top line in the opening post.

deadman20 · February 2016

Play some white noise in his sleep.

Oh, oh! And Repossess everything he owns!

brokenrivalry · February 2016

CALL HIS DAD AND TELL HIM THAT THE GUY WATCHES ANIME.

nepht · February 2016

I forgot. I still keep my nuts in a jar. We could force feed him those >_>

chaelk · February 2016

nepht wrote: »

I forgot. I still keep my nuts in a jar. We could force feed him those >_>

ok, I'll bite. How did you get your brother and Caliga in a jar?

nepht · February 2016

chaelk said:

ok, I'll bite. How did you get your brother and Caliga in a jar?

Not those type of nuts U_U

But still if he logs into CO you could trap him in his own personal instance full of Gingers and Caligas. Fling in a few Xenos for a good measure.

beezeeze · February 2016

Get a bunch of strangers to gather around behind him and breath heavily on the back of his neck!

deadman20 · February 2016

Put him in a never-ending nightmare. Perhaps... have him play one of Jigsaw's "games". Any time he "loses", he wakes up in another "game". An eternal nightmare they will never, ever wake up from.

101 (legal) things to do to the DDos dimwit, when they are located

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